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Computers & Internet Tinder

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What does one get by paying 60/month on tinder?
180 a year so 15 a month ish

5 super likes a week down for 5 a day
1 boosts a month
see who likes you
change your location
 
So while we're all hanging sh*t on Tinder (for good reasons), what are the recommendations for a dating site / app with a) good numbers of possible matches, b) not exorbitant, and c) not thieving arseholes generating thousands of complaints to the ACCC (yes, talking about eharmony here)?
That's the problem

Bumble is full of feminists
OkCupid was good but died
Oasis died
Hinge is painful
POF is a waste of time
 

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Hinge is the one for me these days.

The whole swiping format with Tinder and Bumble feels worn out, and adds a lot to the whole disposable mentality in modern dating. You make super snap judgements on people, and it's easy to get in the habit of swiping really quickly without looking deeply at their profile. Makes finding a person feel like flicking through a clothes rack at an op-shop.

Hinge at least makes you stop and engage with their profile for a moment. Because you can respond to one of their prompts or photos specifically, I'm usually searching to find something in common that we have that I can start a conversation with before I hit like. Idk just makes the process a bit more thoughtful.

Oh and message notifications actually work unlike bumble.
 
So if I was on it and moved to a different state or suburb I wouldn't be able to change my location?

Doesn't he mean being able to be in Melbourne and set your location to say Sydney? As opposed to it just pinging off GPS wherever you actually are.

Would make sense for people from a regional area being able to pick the nearest major city I'd think if he's from a smaller town.
 

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So if I was on it and moved to a different state or suburb I wouldn't be able to change my location?
so it's mainly you can for example you live in Melbourne but going to Adelaide for work change your local to Adelaide get some matches so when you go there you have friends
 
I lived abroad for a couple of years and had a lovely French partner when I alas had to return home during Covid and lockdown. I moved back in with my former housemate from before I left the country and who I'd always gotten on extremely well with and had become one of my closest friends. I stayed in regular contact with my ex, that we left on good terms out of necessity to global affairs meant there was no bitterness in the split, and we still talk regularly - often daily. The lack of closure sucked though, and I'd say for some time after returning to Australia I still longed for them, and it took me a while to even contemplate seeking out other relationships again.

I moved back in with my housemate during lockdown, and while they had clearly had a major glow up in my time away, I dismissed a lot of my growing attraction as predominantly our close proximity to one another with no other option really around. At the same time, they got on Hinge and when lockdown ended went on a significant number of dates (the popularity that comes with a glow up). I did the same though only had about half the success rate. We both had a couple of short term things, and then things slowed down again (for me in particular). I realised that I had distracted myself but that the attraction had not gone away, and I came to believe that there may be a mutuality to it - or if not, that our friendship was strong enough to survive any awkwardness from rejection. After a messy end to their latest prospect last week, I thought now may be the time and have begun mentally preparing myself to float the idea of getting together.

My French ex messaged this week to say they're going to come visit me, sometime around March or April.

I feel bloody torn, to say the least.
 

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Speaking of nimrods, my profile pics. How do you guys do them? More importantly, <sends batsignal to all the females here> what do women find worthy of attention in a profile pic?

Currently have the smiling sitting in a cafe, plus a couple of me + the dawg (sadly she's not here any more). Thinking about a full body shot walking in a mall, and in a shirt+tie sitting at a desk. Also there seems to be a lot of emphasis on eyes - should I include a closeup headshot*?


* not of the chk-chk-boom variety
 
Speaking of nimrods, my profile pics. How do you guys do them? More importantly, <sends batsignal to all the females here> what do women find worthy of attention in a profile pic?

Currently have the smiling sitting in a cafe, plus a couple of me + the dawg (sadly she's not here any more). Thinking about a full body shot walking in a mall, and in a shirt+tie sitting at a desk. Also there seems to be a lot of emphasis on eyes - should I include a closeup headshot*?


* not of the chk-chk-boom variety

Note; Not a female, just know what worked for me.

A quick google and this link covers most of what I always found worked for me albeit I accidentally ended up with it and hadn't pre-searched it; https://www.rd.com/list/online-dating-profile-photos/

Of that selection I'd lead with the one of you and the dog if it's a reasonably clear photo of your face.

Unless you're really really really ridiculously good looking, a solo headshot is probably less attention grabbing then a clear photo of your face with the dog IMO. Yes, you're totally manipulating them by posing with a dog to get attention, no they probably won't hold it against you.

A clear face photo that isn't an obvious selfie can be good, but I'd think obvious selfie territory is getting in to the weird region. But then I'm old now, so maybe it's not weird anymore.

Group shots can be good if it's a small group (or just you and a friend) and it's easy to tell which one you are, looking like you have friends and don't live in a basement posting on BigFooty all day is generally a good thing, but I wouldn't lead with it as if they have no idea who you are they're probably not swiping right on a whole group of guys - unless as previously mentioned, they're all really really really ridiculously good looking and the girl would date any of them.

A travel photo or two usually became a good conversation starter when I was on the apps, especially if it's in a semi-well known setting.

Probably avoid any weird wildlife photos with fish or tigers, and shirtless gym selfies, though it sounds like you already know that.

I remember reading once upon a time that a black and white profile photo is a good one to lead with, though I never tested that out, but if you're wanting to try something new, why not?
 
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I have a couple full body shots (in suits or dressed up nicely), a couple selfies and a couple pics with mates (out having fun). I think a full body shot is important for both men and women. I'm always skeptical of profiles that consist fully of selfies. We need to see what we're getting into.
 
I lived abroad for a couple of years and had a lovely French partner when I alas had to return home during Covid and lockdown. I moved back in with my former housemate from before I left the country and who I'd always gotten on extremely well with and had become one of my closest friends. I stayed in regular contact with my ex, that we left on good terms out of necessity to global affairs meant there was no bitterness in the split, and we still talk regularly - often daily. The lack of closure sucked though, and I'd say for some time after returning to Australia I still longed for them, and it took me a while to even contemplate seeking out other relationships again.

I moved back in with my housemate during lockdown, and while they had clearly had a major glow up in my time away, I dismissed a lot of my growing attraction as predominantly our close proximity to one another with no other option really around. At the same time, they got on Hinge and when lockdown ended went on a significant number of dates (the popularity that comes with a glow up). I did the same though only had about half the success rate. We both had a couple of short term things, and then things slowed down again (for me in particular). I realised that I had distracted myself but that the attraction had not gone away, and I came to believe that there may be a mutuality to it - or if not, that our friendship was strong enough to survive any awkwardness from rejection. After a messy end to their latest prospect last week, I thought now may be the time and have begun mentally preparing myself to float the idea of getting together.

My French ex messaged this week to say they're going to come visit me, sometime around March or April.

I feel bloody torn, to say the least.
Sorry, but WTH is a "glow up"?
 
FWIW Selfies are definitely not weird but most people (especially dudes) have no idea at all of angles.

Camera has to be above eye line looking down otherwise you look like youve got no chin and four chins all at once, find somewhere with decent lighting and do your hair.

So I'm just old then?

Feeling Old GIF by A&E
 
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