Media TJASTA: Beat Reporter: harry000 ON THE ROCKS?

[TJASTA]

WHEN OTHERS SLEEP
I GATHER THE GOSSIP
IT'S TIME TO RELEASE
SOME OF THE SFA'S
DARKEST SECRETS
TJASTA ON THE BEAT​

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

I'm curious to see where this goes

 

[Agent93]

TJASTA IS ON THE BEAT

Flow needs some work though.

 

[TedDougChris]

Is this where you physically assault purveyors of poor quality media TJASTA ?? Poor old Sweet FA Tom Browne equivalents are in for a world of pain....

Or have I misinterpreted "Beat Reporter".....

 

[TJASTA]

Is this where you physically assault purveyors of poor quality media TJASTA ?? Poor old Sweet FA Tom Browne equivalents are in for a world of pain....

Or have I misinterpreted "Beat Reporter".....

I'm on the beat

 

[NaturalDisaster]

Lame

 

[GremioPower]

How to beat a reporter:

 

[TedDougChris]

How to beat a reporter:

This is what I was hoping it was. Someone produces s**t media - TJASTA goes and kicks the crap out of them for our entertainment !!

 

[Pugsley]

I'm on the beat

We have no doubt. Just don't go too hard

 

[Loonerty]

Oh a new TJASTA gimmick

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Personally I welcome this important TJASTA intervention.

 

[manangatang]

‘Beat’. Is that what the kids call it these days?

 

[Tigerturbulance]

I'm curious to see where this goes

Enjoy it now; it’s all downhill from here

 

[TedDougChris]

Enjoy it now; it’s all downhill from here

But it started 6" underground. How do you go down from there ??

 

[Matera92]

Finally.

A thread where I can get all my Beets related news, reviews and previews.

Beets are the unsung hero's of the culinary world.

9 Impressive Health Benefits of Beets

Beetroots are a vibrantly colored, delicious, and nutritious vegetable with many health benefits. Here are 9 beet benefits, backed by science.

www.healthline.com

Thank you TJASTA for providing a much needed and unique service to the SFA.

Kind Regards,

S30 Mobbs Medalist
Matera92

 

[Proper Gander]

I like it. As a starting point anyway. Final judgement reserved for when some actual reports emerge

 

[Cadsky]

WHEN OTHERS SLEEP
I GATHER THE GOSSIP
IT'S TIME TO RELEASE
SOME OF THE SFA'S
DARKEST SECRETS
TJASTA ON THE BEAT​

You mean tjasta beating off, yeah?

 

[Pugsley]

You mean tjasta beating off, yeah?

That is what I was alluding to.

 

[spookism]

So, is this some poor attempt at copying #scandal and yet not even opening with any actual content?

Shameful.

 

[ClarkeM]

... Battlestar Galactica

 

[Muddiemoose]

I'm curious to see where this goes

Funnily enough so is TJ

 

[TJASTA]

ANT BEAR: ANT OR BEAR?
​

Our first story concerns the Sin City Swamprats. One of their new recruits this season is beloved league admin Ant Bear. Last week my team (the Fighting Furies) played the Sin City Swamprats and I was the unlucky sap who had to play on him. In the first quarter, I notice that there some itchiness from my groin area. I thought this was weird, the cream that Dr Foodaracacycle prescribes me was really doing the trick down there. Then I thought, I was playing on 'ANT' Bear. Bull Ants are known for their bites, Ant Bear was clearly a bull ant. Imagine my shock when saw Ant Bear eating raw Atlantic salmon on Savoy biscuits in the Swamprats' three-quarter time huddle. This also got me thinking, who likes eating raw Atlantic salmon? Bears. So the question became was Ant Bear an ant or a bear?

Thus, I got on the beat and ask his teammates their opinion on the matter. Please notice that their names have been changed to protect their identity. Beat reporters never relive their sources, no matter how juicy.

For legal reasons I can't give an official comment, but if you ask me I'd say an ant masquerading as an aardvark

Well he's pretty hard to bear, so I'm going with ant .

An ant. To make a trio with ant555 and me, the Atom Ant.

He is a contradiction. Being an Ant but also a bear means as an Ant Bear he eats himself.

Howdy TJASTA,

It's my firm belief that Ant Bear is an anteater, and since they look more like bears, I'll say a bear

Thanks

It's an interesting question - one that was being posed back when I joined back in season 26. I believe it goes back to the time when the Anglos met the Saxons. The Roman Empire had long since been conquered, but their technological advancements left the forefathers of Las Vegas with a working sewer system. As there was no working filtration system or sewage treatment facilities, and the residents of the above ground city being smelly bears, the water in the sewers was left in a terribly rancid state. Those (un)fortunate to be living underground in Sin City were forced to consume said drinking water, which left them with severe mutations.

One very noticeable mutation was the colony's insect population, which started growing to enormous proportions. The enlarged ants proved themselves extremely useful at boring large scale tunnels, and eventually (under the SFA slave-drivers) even dug out the space now known as the Underground Stadium. These ants soon developed a taste for liquor, and many underground bars quickly sprung up in Sin City. These bars were known as wild places, where nothing was off limits. They quickly gained popularity amongst the smelly bears living above ground, as they could get drunk cheaply and then end their night with a romp in one of the adjoining brothels.

The rumour is our admin friend was conceived on one of these nights. Nothing is known about his parents, and the birth records were destroyed in the great distillery fire of 1995, but his devotion to continuing the ideals of the halcyon days of the underground is a source of inspiration to us all.

His teammates clearly think he is an ant, Avocarter and Rickyticky must have missed that memo. I also reach out to the 'man' in question. This was his comment:

I would have thought that the answer to this is as obvious as the nose on my face.

I am a Swamprat.

If you asked me, he has something to hide.

 

[AceAndy]

ANT BEAR: ANT OR BEAR?
View attachment 933169​

Our first story concerns the Sin City Swamprats. One of their new recruits this season is beloved league admin Ant Bear. Last week my team (the Fighting Furies) played the Sin City Swamprats and I was the unlucky sap who had to play on him. In the first quarter, I notice that there some itchiness from my groin area. I thought this was weird, the cream that Dr Foodaracacycle prescribes me was really doing the trick down there. Then I thought, I was playing on 'ANT' Bear. Bull Ants are known for their bites, Ant Bear was clearly a bull ant. Imagine my shock when saw Ant Bear eating raw Atlantic salmon on Savoy biscuits in the Swamprats' three-quarter time huddle. This also got me thinking, who likes eating raw Atlantic salmon? Bears. So the question became was Ant Bear an ant or a bear?

Thus, I got on the beat and ask his teammates their opinion on the matter. Please notice that their names have been changed to protect their identity. Beat reporters never relive their sources, no matter how juicy.








His teammates clearly think he is an ant, Avocarter and Rickyticky must have missed that memo. I also reach out to the 'man' in question. This was his comment:



If you asked me, he has something to hide.

This is the hard hitting journalism the SFA has been looking for. A great media thread.

 

[Ant Bear]

In the first quarter, I notice that there some itchiness from my groin area. I thought this was weird, the cream that Dr Foodaracacycle prescribes me was really doing the trick down there.

Probably bird mites, they are very nasty

If you asked me, he has something to hide.

 

[TJASTA]

Probably bird mites, they are very nasty

You are hiding something