Opinion Top 10 Worst Performances of the Decade

[shinboner spiggs]

Daniher and Hipwood combined for 23 marks between them. Extraordinary

Pencil Stephenson kicked 4 and it's an indictment on him that I do not remember a single one of them.

Shout out to 2023 Cam Zurhaar putting up 2025 Cam Zurhaar numbers - 9 touches, 0.1 and 2 tackles

I recall Brisbane kicking 5-6 goals unopposed in the goal square that day.

De Fence!

 

[koshari]

I should begin by saying I have lost complete belief that this season would be a positive one after the events of the last month. There were certainly signs of growth earlier, but on our biggest occasion, with hundreds upon hundreds of new/occasional fans in attendance, we decided to throw in one of our worst efforts in recent memory. The Good Friday performance last week completely shocked me to the core. How bad was that?? Like a lot of you, I had hope that we could steal this one, or at least make a strong game of it. Instead, what we dished up was disgraceful, white flag waving crap that we all have become a custom to.

But where would it rank amongst our worst since the turn of the decade? Whilst our "top 10 best" would take the best part of a minute to answer, this one has taken a serious amount of research and reminiscing. I have taken a wander down memory lane, and come up with my personal 10 worst efforts from North Melbourne since the start of 2020.

With over 90 losses, a draw and even 1 win (almost being beaten by West Coast 22 who had players they hadn't met before), there are some strong candidates to make the cut. I have no doubt missed a few and some of my takes are probably off the mark.

But I give you, the Top 10 Worst Performances of the decade.



10. Round 16, 2022
Geelong 144 - 32 North
"McKay played Forward"

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Noble's 2nd last game as coach saw him make one of the most interesting positional moves in this decade, moving one of our only AFL competent defenders in McKay forward in an effort to provide a target to help Larkey. Worth a crack at some point, but maybe not when you're lining up on in-form stars in Cameron and Hawkins who go on to pile a combined 10.6 and blow us over by 112. LDU had a crack with 35 but this was one of our weakest line ups throughout the period.

The Cats would go on to win the flag, and playing them at Kardinia Park was always going to be tough, but hard to leave out a 112 point loss to the list.

9. Round 6, 2024
North 68-113 Hawks
"The Fork in the Road Game"

North Melbourne Kangaroos vs Hawthorn Hawks - AFL Round 6, 2024

www.foxsports.com.au

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Ahh... this game. Both teams 0-5 and at the time it was our first test against an opponent we thought were at a similar stage in our development. All week it was built up that this game would show how well the rebuild was going for both sides, and it was said that it would propel the winner to greener pastures. At quarter time, things were tight and it felt we were in the game. A high time for this lot to concede 8.3 in the 2nd and break the hearts of all the supporters. It would be North again having a shocking year, we'd have to wait longer.

Hawthorn did end up being a good side, and it really was the pumping of us this match that gained them confidence.

8. Round 7, 2023
Melbourne 139- 49 North
"Nightmare at the G"

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This night started off with an 8.2 to 1.0 first quarter and housed the horrific Chom leg break, so bad that it was not fit for television screens. It was a fairly gloomy night in Melbourne, with 1/4 full G watch the Demons do what they please for the entirety of the evening, but for a late flurry of 3 majors padding the score. It had eerie similarities to an infamous Neeld Melbourne performance against Essendon in 2013, save for the lack of angry supporters at the players race post game.

7. Round 9, 2023
North 65-135 Port Adelaide
"JHF revenge game..."

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It was forecasted as one of AFL.com's top 10 most exciting fixtures in the 2023 season, and for all of our supporters, this one meant a lot. Having JHF leave in the manner he did was a hammer blow, and with players verbally expressing this publicly, it was expected that this would be on. However, Clarko poured cold water over this pre match by telling JHF there were no hard feelings, and the players would follow suit in what was one of the more spineless performances across the years. A fairly mediocre Port side heads down to Hobart, strolls away with an easy 70 point win with only a bump to JHF from Zurhaar to show for it. Special shout out to Flynn Perez for committing one of the all time errors in the backline gifting a goal to Port. Clarkson would take leave during the week and it was all falling apart 3 months into his tenure.

6. Round 14, 2020
Gold Coast 91-28 North
"The Hub wasn't good for us"

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View attachment 2292024

Couldn't have this list complete without at least one of our 2020 games, and this particular effort takes the cake. A hapless Gold Coast outfit keeps North to a goalless half, albeit in shortened games, but helps themselves to 12.19 in a night that could have been a lot worse on many counts. The bubble was a complete catastrophe, and Shaw's tenure was to come to a close shortly after. Thankfully, the shortened games meant reduced pain, and a strong reason why only 1 match makes the cut from the season.

5. Round 8, 2022
Fremantle 102-24 North
"Docker Shocker"

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It was a Friday Night double header that we all looked forward to, especially considering our decent history in Perth over the years. The stodgy Dockers were surely a side we could restrict? Not quite for Noble's Roos, who allow free use of the corridor all night long for the Dockers to go through the front door and pile on the pain. A season low for inside 50s (35), another goalless half and the new president Sonja blowing up on twitter. Nice!

4. Round 3, 2022
Lions 156-48 North
"The Spray"

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View attachment 2292018

The infamous spray came after yet another Queensland calamity, this time against the uprising Lions that were destined for great things. In truth, you could see what we were trying to do with daring ball use into the corridor, however we were simply not up to the standard required to pull this style off. A whopping 73 turnovers was the result, and it was all too much for Dave who let them have it post match. Deservedly so, you might argue. Did they take it well? Not really.


3. Round 3, 2021
North 39-167 Bulldogs
"Bad Friday 1. Bruce Almighty"

North Melbourne Kangaroos vs Western Bulldogs - AFL Round 3, 2021

www.foxsports.com.au

View attachment 2292017


It was the 2nd home match locked down North supporters could attend after the disastrous 2020 season, so North fans turned up in a socially distanced environment to watch the clubs largest ever loss to the Footscray/Western Bulldogs. The team highlight was the crowd going crazy to a North fast break which lead to a Nick Larkey goal, only for it to be reviewed as hitting the post. The rest of the night was nothing short of a nightmare, with Josh Bruce having his career highlight of 10.2 from 10 marks and taking McKay/Walker apart. I don't think you could ever see a bigger class disparity than this night, capped off with a 10.7 quarter against for the Dogs. Even Bevo had a crack at us in his post match interview. What a time to be alive.

2. Round 24, 2024
Hawthorn 170-46 North Melbourne
"Sayonara 2024 in style"

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View attachment 2292225
What better way to sign a season off in which you make marginal gains throughout the year and show some signs of life? Throw in the clubs worst ever loss to Hawthorn, in a match where you could almost hear players thinking how much they'd rather be at a beach club than in Launceston that day. Hawthorn had it all to play for to secure finals, to be fair, but the performance that was served up clarified that this group has minimal pride. A stiff candidate to miss out on the coveted first position.

Drumroll.....





1. Round 6, 2025
Carlton 153-71 North
"Bad Friday 2. The Tunnel Continues"
https://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/match-centre/AFL20250602

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The common theme amongst majority of these performances have been that we're up against strong opposition, with a young/weak outfit in and around a coaching change. This one hits different IMO given that we are up against an average outfit, missing key players, on our biggest stage of the year. The game was done at quarter time. How can this happen? It sits proudly atop the list.

how could you not include the howler up at mt barker when we conceded about 10 joe the gooses against the brions to get a thorough belting?

buddys 14 or was that to lang ago. the record loss to essendon after leading by heaps, ?

 

[koshari]

The worst for me was the Gather Round game against Brisbane when they set the record for the most uncontested marks inside 50.

didnt see this post earlier but agree, all thos joe the gooses.

 

[Flawed Genius]

how could you not include the howler up at mt barker when we conceded about 10 joe the gooses against the brions to get a thorough belting?

buddys 14 or was that to lang ago. the record loss to essendon after leading by heaps, ?

The Franklin game was 2012. The commentary of it is harrowing as Hudson and the rest of the goon squad literally barrack for Franklin to keep kicking goals, which I guess I kinda get

 

[Hojuman]

The worst for me was the Gather Round game against Brisbane when they set the record for the most uncontested marks inside 50.

And iirc we kicked the first 5 goals !

 

[shinboner spiggs]

how could you not include the howler up at mt barker when we conceded about 10 joe the gooses against the brions to get a thorough belting?

It was on my mind, but couldn’t sneak it in. New coach, shit squad, SA multiplier against a great side had marks against.

FWIW I thought Gather Round 2 at Norwood was worse than the original. Letting Neale have about 400 possesions wasn’t getting it done for us. I think they even subbed him out because there was no point.

 

[TennisPlayerAndy]

You wouldn’t want to click on this thread if you were near the edge….

**** me, we’ve been shit for so long.

 

[shintemaster]

Great thread, although I have to say I got to "I should begin..." then decided: **** it, I'll do something else.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

You wouldn’t want to click on this thread if you were near the edge….

**** me, we’ve been shit for so long.

 

[Firebat]

Haha I went to 6/10…

 

[Uncle_Leo]

Haha I went to 6/10…

Which 6? Let’s compare notes

 

[zoomba23]

How's nobody mentioned the 1.8 game against Geelong. I know it's a 2019 game but ****.

Todd kicks our lone goal in the second quarter. We kicked 1.6 after quarter time and 1.8 for the match. This was deep in the era when we were routinely fielding Ahern, Pittard, Polec, Turner, Williams and Wood. Special shout-out to 2019 Cam Zurhaar putting up 2025 Cam Zurhaar numbers with 8 touches and 1 tackle to go with 5 clangers. Also didn't bother the scoreboard operators

Dangerfield 33 and a goal. We made Ablett look like prime Andrew Swallow with 10 tackles. An absolutely disgusting spectacle

I think that game gets passed over because the next week we showed we were actually a football club, as opposed to the post-2019 beltings, which led us to sink further into our shells. Didn't we break the disposals record or something in that Port game?

 

[Flawed Genius]

I think that game gets passed over because the next week we showed we were actually a football club, as opposed to the post-2019 beltings, which led us to sink further into our shells. Didn't we break the disposals record or something in that Port game?

App says we had 514 touches.

Higgins 38 & a goal.
Goldstein 34 and a goal.
Simpkin 33 & a goal.
Polec 32 & a goal.
Ziebell 33 and a goal.

Brown had 10.1 from 14 kicks.
Larkey 5.0 from 11 kicks.

We didn't have a single player register less than 10 touches. Don't know what was wrong with Port

 

[zoomba23]

App says we had 514 touches.

Higgins 38 & a goal.
Goldstein 34 and a goal.
Simpkin 33 & a goal.
Polec 32 & a goal.
Ziebell 33 and a goal.

Brown had 10.1 from 14 kicks.
Larkey 5.0 from 11 kicks.

We didn't have a single player register less than 10 touches. Don't know what was wrong with Port

Second-highest disposal tally since records began apparently, behind St Kilda against Fremantle's thirds at the end of 2013. Was a weird time, Shaw's tenure. Those two games in back-to-back weeks is nuts

 

[Firebat]

Which 6? Let’s compare notes

I’m sorry to hear that!!!

My list is:

2022 round 16 vs Cats.

2024 round 6 vs Hawks. One of the most painful losses I’ve experienced as I was sitting top level to get a good look at how we structured up (nonexistant!). Hawks were shit at the time as well and we literally turned their fortunes around…

2023 round 7 vs Dees.

2022 round 3 vs Lions. Hilarious how bad we were. Lions barely got out of second gear.

2021 round 3 vs Dogs. Memorable because I pulled Josh Bruce into my SuperCoach draft league for one game.

2024 round 24 vs Hawks. Probably the most pathetic performance I’ve ever been to live. Gave up from the first bounce.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

I’m sorry to hear that!!!

My list is:

2022 round 16 vs Cats.

2024 round 6 vs Hawks. One of the most painful losses I’ve experienced as I was sitting top level to get a good look at how we structured up (nonexistant!). Hawks were shit at the time as well and we literally turned their fortunes around…

2023 round 7 vs Dees.

2022 round 3 vs Lions. Hilarious how bad we were. Lions barely got out of second gear.

2021 round 3 vs Dogs. Memorable because I pulled Josh Bruce into my SuperCoach draft league for one game.

2024 round 24 vs Hawks. Probably the most pathetic performance I’ve ever been to live. Gave up from the first bounce.

9,8,7,3,2 and 1 for me

 

[Horizons_00]

How's nobody mentioned the 1.8 game against Geelong. I know it's a 2019 game but ****.

Todd kicks our lone goal in the second quarter. We kicked 1.6 after quarter time and 1.8 for the match. This was deep in the era when we were routinely fielding Ahern, Pittard, Polec, Turner, Williams and Wood. Special shout-out to 2019 Cam Zurhaar putting up 2025 Cam Zurhaar numbers with 8 touches and 1 tackle to go with 5 clangers. Also didn't bother the scoreboard operators

Dangerfield 33 and a goal. We made Ablett look like prime Andrew Swallow with 10 tackles. An absolutely disgusting spectacle

I travelled to Geelong for that game

Then missed the amazing Port game after. Nightmare

 

[DuckYeah]

2015 R15 v fold coast away. Lost by 55 points. One of the worst performances ive seen. Im pretty sure fold coast won only a handful of matches for the year too.

Losses like that killed our home prelim final chances.

 

[amaz199]

I think that game gets passed over because the next week we showed we were actually a football club, as opposed to the post-2019 beltings, which led us to sink further into our shells. Didn't we break the disposals record or something in that Port game?

It was such a demolishing the AFL were scrambling for the record books.

 

[Dinkers]

Rd 7 v Poort in Adelaide . Oh wait that gets added next week, sheesh im a dill .

 

[tazaa]

How's nobody mentioned the 1.8 game against Geelong. I know it's a 2019 game but ****.

Todd kicks our lone goal in the second quarter. We kicked 1.6 after quarter time and 1.8 for the match. This was deep in the era when we were routinely fielding Ahern, Pittard, Polec, Turner, Williams and Wood. Special shout-out to 2019 Cam Zurhaar putting up 2025 Cam Zurhaar numbers with 8 touches and 1 tackle to go with 5 clangers. Also didn't bother the scoreboard operators

Dangerfield 33 and a goal. We made Ablett look like prime Andrew Swallow

Andrew Swallow

Age

38

Ht

182cm

Wt

80kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

20.7

5star

K

9.6

4star

HB

11.1

5star

M

2.9

3star

T

6.6

5star

CL

5.8

5star

No current season stats available

D

8.8

3star

K

5.4

2star

HB

3.4

3star

M

2.6

3star

T

4.4

5star

with 10 tackles. An absolutely disgusting spectacle

I remember saying after this game that this result would haunt Shaw as coach forever.

It was just such a black mark to have to your name. Couldn't shake it.

A little over a year later he was gone.

 

[zoomba23]

I remember saying after this game that this result would haunt Shaw as coach forever.

It was just such a black mark to have to your name. Couldn't shake it.

A little over a year later he was gone.

How much leeway do we give him based on covid? I said at the start of 2020 that we'd be shit, but no one could've predicted this, and we did actually scrounge together a torrid win and a gutsy win before the hub happened. We had a backbone, and lost it over that year. Be interesting to know exactly what went down in the hub and exactly what happened to his mind

 

[FlyHigh18]

How's nobody mentioned the 1.8 game against Geelong. I know it's a 2019 game but ****.

Todd kicks our lone goal in the second quarter. We kicked 1.6 after quarter time and 1.8 for the match. This was deep in the era when we were routinely fielding Ahern, Pittard, Polec, Turner, Williams and Wood. Special shout-out to 2019 Cam Zurhaar putting up 2025 Cam Zurhaar numbers with 8 touches and 1 tackle to go with 5 clangers. Also didn't bother the scoreboard operators

Dangerfield 33 and a goal. We made Ablett look like prime Andrew Swallow with 10 tackles. An absolutely disgusting spectacle

This was easily the worst. One bloody goal for an entire game.

I remember coming on here so upset and then being gaslighted by some
“oh no one will remember it”
“Bad games happen”
Bla bla blah

 

[Supreme_Chancellor]

Why stop at 10?

 

[hilly]

I could write a book on it with what I’ve heard

When does statute of limitations end on this stuff?

No statue, post away.