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kdiddle said:
word on the street is that big dal is auditioning for the next series of australia's biggest loser...
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I think you've left something out there. The kid will only apply if the audition is:

a) Quick
b) Easy

Check off both of those and the man is in. He and the has been Shane from the previous Australia's Biggest Loser (last seen lurking near turtle cove) can look forward to establishing a life long bond.
 
just checked the biggest loser website... turns out they don't hold auditions.. they find you...
they pin point where you live using a seismaghraph.. your footsteps MUST register at least 4.5 on the richter scale to pass (tick)...
Then they aproach your place of residence and will only enter your house if you live in a home resembliming a warehouse ( any normal house would not accomadate the frame of a true "biggest loser" contestant)...Once inside the home of the potential "biggest loser" they hold a series of practical tests...

the first test is to release a mosqito in front of the couch, and if the budding contestant sitting eating dorito's DOES NOT sweat profusley watching this creature cut though the living rooms atmosphere then he is CLEARLY TOO FIT...

After this rigourous but nessecary task is completed the final judge will then venture into the candidates toilet...hoping to find the g clamps he needs to clamp his excess fat flaps back with while proceeding with the task of excreeting... (tick)

lashings of baby powder is also on the checklist of an astute judge... a sure sign that the contestant requires daily dry lubrication to prevent the four sets of boobs on his back and thighs from rubbing and causing the next big grampians bush fire...

then and only then will the now contestant be exported via crane to the set of Australias next biggest loser....
 
kdiddle said:
just checked the biggest loser website... turns out they don't hold auditions.. they find you...
they pin point where you live using a seismaghraph.. your footsteps MUST register at least 4.5 on the richter scale to pass (tick)...
Then they aproach your place of residence and will only enter your house if you live in a home resembliming a warehouse ( any normal house would not accomadate the frame of a true "biggest loser" contestant)...Once inside the home of the potential "biggest loser" they hold a series of practical tests...

the first test is to release a mosqito in front of the couch, and if the budding contestant sitting eating dorito's DOES NOT sweat profusley watching this creature cut though the living rooms atmosphere then he is CLEARLY TOO FIT...

After this rigourous but nessecary task is completed the final judge will then venture into the candidates toilet...hoping to find the g clamps he needs to clamp his excess fat flaps back with while proceeding with the task of excreeting... (tick)

lashings of baby powder is also on the checklist of an astute judge... a sure sign that the contestant requires daily dry lubrication to prevent the four sets of boobs on his back and thighs from rubbing and causing the next big grampians bush fire...

then and only then will the now contestant be exported via crane to the set of Australias next biggest loser....
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kdiddle shut up pi** ing people off talking bout gay sh*t how bout ya suck me o** done
 

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Appin Vet said:
Can any of you beer swillers tell me how my friend Jamie Pay went with his footy this year. My little friend could certainly play a little. Has a heart the size of the Kerang town clock.
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think jim bob spent majority of the year in ballarat swans 2s, not real sure if he was injured at all or what...
 
The word around turtle land is that a fair few boys will be heading to Ballan next season.... already know of 4 definates that will be in the blues jumper next year..... can anyone fill me if others are heading there? sweet as:cool:
 
Turtle_15 said:
The word around turtle land is that a fair few boys will be heading to Ballan next season.... already know of 4 definates that will be in the blues jumper next year..... can anyone fill me if others are heading there? sweet as:cool:
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i hear ballan have been chasing a fair few players turlte 15 and throwing lots of cash around, is that true. they must have a bit of coing to spend, and who r the turtle boys which r heading out there
 
Rumours flying around about an amalgamation between the Beavers and the Turtles!!! Could this be true, Might be the most viable and profitable option looking into 2007!!! Beavers can build the dam for the Turtles to swim in perhaps??!!
 
You Know It said:
is ablett19 going to take the trek from the rat to the northern oasis again this year?
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Thats a definite YKI. Hopefully bring a few turtles with including turtle15!!??
 

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ablett19 said:
Thats a definite YKI. Hopefully bring a few turtles with including turtle15!!??
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so good old turtle15 has had enough of the otway boys, will big tomsut69 be happy with him?? wot other turtle boys will the magpies be trying to lure to the bus stop??
 
You Know It said:
so good old turtle15 has had enough of the otway boys, will big tomsut69 be happy with him?? wot other turtle boys will the magpies be trying to lure to the bus stop??
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Good Chance Turtle 15 will play where he is told to... Case closed.. :D
 
tomsut_69 said:
Good Chance Turtle 15 will play where he is told to... Case closed.. :D
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Think he is old enough now to make up his own mind.... Especially now he is maturing as a footballer.........
 
ablett19 said:
Think he is old enough now to make up his own mind.... Especially now he is maturing as a footballer.........
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what r u talking about, word on the street is that u and the new missus r moving to perth next year... unless ur planning on flying back for matches dont think boort fits into those plans...

and its a very strong word about turtle boys heading to ballan...
perhaps tomsut69 will have another crack there, he'l b wanting to redeem himself after dissappointing in his debut there last year... redemption is required
 
thekid178 said:
what r u talking about, word on the street is that u and the new missus r moving to perth next year... unless ur planning on flying back for matches dont think boort fits into those plans...

and its a very strong word about turtle boys heading to ballan...
perhaps tomsut69 will have another crack there, he'l b wanting to redeem himself after dissappointing in his debut there last year... redemption is required
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Ill be going hopefully kid yes, but i havent got a missus so dunno bout that one. If i am still in vic definitely Boort Magpies.

I hope a few go to Ballan as they seem to be an improving club and if a few turts go they will improve the club on and off the field....
 

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thekid178 said:
what r u talking about, word on the street is that u and the new missus r moving to perth next year... unless ur planning on flying back for matches dont think boort fits into those plans...

and its a very strong word about turtle boys heading to ballan...
perhaps tomsut69 will have another crack there, he'l b wanting to redeem himself after dissappointing in his debut there last year... redemption is required
Click to expand...

Deafening silence from tomsut69??????????????
 
thekid178 said:
what r u talking about, word on the street is that u and the new missus r moving to perth next year... unless ur planning on flying back for matches dont think boort fits into those plans...

Not sure about that boys.. Ballan are a good bunch of blokes, but loyal too their locals too, so couldnt say they would want heaps.
Back to Ablett.. Kid was telling me that you and the missus are finding a football club to play at together first and then a job second, any truth from Double Battered ? I heard your looking for GA position for yourself?
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can missus... spent last night with her and dropped her off at uni this morning hopefull after a big night...:p oh yeah
 
thekid178 said:
what r u talking about, word on the street is that u and the new missus r moving to perth next year... unless ur planning on flying back for matches dont think boort fits into those plans...

and its a very strong word about turtle boys heading to ballan...
perhaps tomsut69 will have another crack there, he'l b wanting to redeem himself after dissappointing in his debut there last year... redemption is required
Click to expand...

kid u just concern yaself with getting through pre-season ok mate its gunna be tough .... thats if ya thinking of playing seniors for ballan..yeah well F*@#
 
tomsut_69 said:
Not sure about that boys.. Ballan are a good bunch of blokes, but loyal too their locals too, so couldnt say they would want heaps.
Back to Ablett.. Kid was telling me that you and the missus are finding a football club to play at together first and then a job second, any truth from Double Battered ? I heard your looking for GA position for yourself?
Click to expand...

im sure they'd be more than willing to add depth to their playing list... a bit of healthy competition for spots would be good i think. plus teams r always looking to add size to their team tomsut... im sure a few would ride along on the coat tails, and ballan could become an off-field powerhouse come saturday nights...

and im told Mrs Bartram has a job and a club, just waiting on the hubby to sort himself out... maybe that can be the discussion at their next date
 

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