Unique Crows Record

[xamol]

Speaking of losers..

 

[Geoffa32]

A picture tells a 1000 words (or stats)

 

[D_One]

Wasnt it "Very interesting , also stupid." Bit like this thread, without the "interesting" part.

“Very interesting , also stupid”. Mmmm, I don’t know why but this reminds me people who are “not so smart”, which in turn reminds me of the famous Camry Crows team fire walking bonding session lead by Nigel “Not So” Smart. Being a man of unlimited intellect Nigel concocted the 1992 pre-season fire walk with the dual purpose of building team unity and promoting the club. After being hospitalised with burns to his feet the club became the talk of the AFL world as the other clubs looked on in disbelief. Nigel also featured prominently wearing a pair of outdated Wayfarers in the Crows “The futures so bright, I gotta wear Shades” campaign. Maybe he was wearing the Wayfarers before undertaking his fire walk and failed to see how bright the coals were.

In the mid 90s Nigel also asked the Crows hierarchy if it would be OK for him to take a year off so he could go backpacking around Europe. For some unknown reason the Crows dissuaded him from such an adventure.

Nigel was a crowd favourite who sported a bald head and goatee and bore a striking resemblance to Vladimir Lenin. And although he never tried to impose anything as stupid as a workers utopia on the Camry Crows, he was a candidate for the Liberal Party for the electoral district of Norwood in the 2006 South Australian state election. Looking like Lenin and sprouting policies that would make Mussolini blush his tilt at a political career was unsuccessful. With the electoral loss also went his dream of being entombed in Victoria Square where the Camry Crows peasantry could file past in an act of respect, in the same manner as the Russian peasantry file past Lenin’s entombed body in Red Square.

Much to the exultation of the other 15 clubs, Nigel has been a member of the Crows' board since 2005, and will assume the role of Deputy Chairman for the 2009 season. He is often seen going from office to office in the Karparkistan complex on an undersized tricycle whilst sporting a red nose and a pair of oversized floppy shoes.

Nigel Smart: 6 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 4 losses, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

43 Losers to go.

 

[D_One]

yet, you keep on coming back

“Keep on coming back” is what the Camry Crows defenders yell out to the forwards whenever they lose possession. In recent years, the one doing the most yelling was Nathan Bassett.

Just like Nick Gill, Bassett was another player rejected by the Melbourne FC. Being elevated from the rookie list for a second time Bassett quickly slotted into the Camry Crows defence where he would lurk in the open spaces behind his fellow team mate who had possession of the ball and jump up and down demanding the ball. When the ball was kicked to him he would kick it to another team mate who was as equally in the open and then demand the ball back again. Nathan was quite content to kick the ball around the half back line all day, which greatly increased the knitting productivity of the Camry Crows fans but was not great for TV ratings in Victoria.

Whilst this was intensely boring every now and then the Camry Crows would turn over possession causing them to try to tackle and spoil the opposition. Whilst spoiling or tackling, Nathan, having all the finesse of the Kings horses trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, would inevitably give away a free kick. This was the only entertaining part of a Camry Crows game as Nathan would throw tantrums that would make a Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory look angelic. After stamping his feet, waving his arms in disbelief and turning his back to the umpire, he would look up to the coach’s box with an incredulous look on his face. Ahhh, I’m gonna miss those tantrums.


Nathan Bassett: 12 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 8 losses, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

42 Losers to go.

 

[xamol]

More losers for you D

 

[xamol]

This is the position you get left in after an arse raping

 

[subaru]

D-one ... Mate , you are demented.


S


A


D

SO


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A

D

 

[D_One]

We're getting close now Crows supporters, you can feel the tension in the air. Much like the last 5 minutes of a Crows Prelim Final.

The agony will soon be over but then again another 7 years of agony awaits

Speaking of seven years of agony, Brent Reilly has been on the Crows list for that period in which he has clocked up 93 games. A regular bench-sitter, Brent has had an injury plagued career with his best year being the 2005 season. That year he played every game before injuring his hamstring and missing the last two finals. It’s pretty hard to understand how a player can do a hamstring while sitting on the bench but Brent managed it nonetheless.

Brent Reilly: 5 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 3 losses, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

41 Losers to go.

 

[PowerForGood]

D_One, I don't know
- why you do this
- how you find the time to do this
- what you do for a living that lets you have the time to do this
- where you get the information to do this

And I'd be royally pissed if someone did it for Port Adelaide, but I've got to admit, it's funny and original - keep on going.

 

[D_One]

Port will never have that problem. Making the finals every second year and all. A lot of easy money to be made this year with Centrebet, being and "Up or Finals" year for the Tealsters.

There’s nothing like a good win at Centrebet, even though you will no longer find Goodwin at Centrebet. Simon Goodwin, that is. When not threatening to “punch” the “lights out” of photographers, Simon doesn’t mind a flutter on the gee-gees. But he has been known to also have the odd candid flutter on AFL games. As a result he holds the record for being the player to be fined the most by the AFL commission for any offence. Three other players have also been caught betting on games. These include Melbourne's Daniel Ward who placed 18 multi-bets totalling $3705, North’s David Hale who placed four bets totalling $100 and Sydney’s Kieren Jack who placed two whopping great $5 bets on games not involving Sydney. And how much did Simon bet on AFL games? $16,024.58, that’s how much. This includes a ₤2000 (about $4600) on the West Coast Eagles to win the 2006 grand final. One week after the Camry Crows lost to the West Coast in a preliminary final.

After he was caught red-handed and fined the record $40,000, Neil Craig used his usual quote for whenever anything goes wrong at the Camry Crows and said “You hope Simon will learn from this”.

Simon was reappointed captain of the Camry Crows despite the murmurings of a leadership vacuum, particularly after the Camry Crows coughed up a sizeable lead to lose their home elimination final to Collingwood. The fact that there were no other real candidates confirms the common belief that there is a real lack of leadership in Karparkistan.

Simon Goodwin: 13 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 9 losses, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

40 Losers to go.

 

[xamol]

D_One, I don't know
- why you do this
- how you find the time to do this
- what you do for a living that lets you have the time to do this
- where you get the information to do this

And I'd be royally pissed if someone did it for Port Adelaide, but I've got to admit, it's funny and original - keep on going.

Dont worry PFG. It's coming.

 

[Sekaj]

it's funny and original - keep on going.

I'll do my best.

 

[Sekaj]

 

[Mr Magoo]

A picture tells a 1000 words (or stats)

Sure does & i can't find the picture i'm looking for.... it was in the sunday mail & the headlines read something like ... 'Sorry Roo (or mate)' .... it was from the Hawthorn vs adelaide elimination final from 2007.

 

[D_One]

It would be easier money Geoffa to bet on the Crows finishing somewhere between 7th and 14th.

Now thats a safe bet

I wouldn’t dismiss them finishing 15th or 16th. Andrew Eccles dismissed Carlton finishing that low when he asked to be traded to Carlton at the end of 2001. But why would he think otherwise as he had just played his last game for the Camry Crows which was a final against Carlton. And after Carlton thrashed the Camry Crows by 68 pts he knew that the Camry Crows had no hope in the upcoming years but he didn’t realise that Carlton’s future was just as bleak. This was to be Andrew Eccles only final in the 2001 to 2008 period.

Eccles was also renowned for his 'goose step' kicking action and his repeated attempts to mark the ball with his eyes closed.

Andrew Eccles: 1 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 1 loss, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

39 Losers to go.

 

[D_One]

hahaha. You could be right, but you cant do that bet.

At 2.10 Port to make the eight is good value. Double your money. Bookmark it and tell me I am wrong September.

Take Rudds money and double it.

Double up, you say. Well after giving Andrew Eccles his due we may as well double up with Ben Marsh. Like Eccles he played in the 1998 premiership and also like Eccles, Ben Marsh only played in one final for the Camry Crows between 2001 and 2008. However Ben followed up his premiership year in 1998 with a solid preseason and then had sterling 1999 season which consisted of 1 handball … and nothing else.

Ben Marsh: 1 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 1 loss, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

38 Losers to go.

 

[D_One]

Cant do Geoffa. Ive already spent my cash handout on durries and pokies.

P.S. Dan Murphys has a great deal on chards at the moment. Now theres something for Crowies to spend their money on. Or you could donate it to Bernie Vince for his testicular transplant surgery.

And who said Crows players dont have balls??

C’mon that's enough of the stereotyping. Whilst its true that most of the Camry Crow supporters you meet may be chardonnay drinking imbeciles trying to represent Australia in the prestigious “Upper Class Twit of the Year” award. And it may also be true that the most common surname on the Camry Crows membership registry is the double hyphenated Crettin-Munchke-Spanker. And when filling out the registration form the majority of Camry Crows supporters put down that there best friend is a tree and that their Daddy uses them as a waste paper basket. But not all Crow players are like this. Some of the poor individuals get drafted and have chardonnay pushed onto them. Case in point, Peter Vardy. Vardy was a beer drinker footballer from Central Districts before being drafted by the Crows. Where upon joining the Crows he rejected their insistence that he drink Chardonnay.

His reluctance to drink chardonnay hindered his early career but in 1997 Vardy began to make more of an impact with the Crows, but injured his shoulder before the grand final. The club doctor prescribed a glass of chardonnay each night leading up to the grand final but he didn’t come good. After the 1999 season his career was undermined by a persistent groin injury, that chardonnay could not remedy. At the end of the 2001 season he was traded to Melbourne, where he enjoyed a couple of good seasons and was taught by the good people at Melbourne that chardonnay was soooo yesterday and that he should be drinking a good Sauvignon Blanc from the Marlborough region.

He retired at the end of the 2004 season and is back to drinking beer.

Peter Vardy: 1 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 1 loss, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

37 Losers to go.

 

[subaru]

PORT ADELAIDE​

B: Pettigrew Thurstans Surjan
HB: Cassisi Chaplin P Burgoyne
C: Salopek K Cornes Rodan
HF: Motlop Tredrea Pearce
F: Lade Westhoff Ebert
FOLL: Brogan C Cornes S Burgoyne
INT: Boak Symes Logan Wakelin
EMER: Carlile Bentley Lonie


And here we have it folks. The ultimate in loser lists. Michel Wilson must have thanked his lucky stars he was injured and did not have to be a part of this humiliation of the highest order. It was History In The Making and those lucky enough to have been there, I'm sure will remember it for the rest of their lives. It certainly was unique!

Also a very special mention must go to Mark (I should have kept my big fat mouth shut) Williams, probably the biggest loser..well the fattest anyway, for supplementing the on field entertainment.

Ratshit coaching and constant grimacing provided a great afternoons hilarity which was enjoyed by the majority of fans, bar Port people of course, and these fans were kept amused by Williams after match display of fake smiles and "how am I ever going to face them back home" look on his face.

The night kicked on at some pub where instead of the traditional GF replay being shown, the 2004 and premiership was viewed by a small number of loyal but very f****** angry people.

But that's not all .....The celebrations continued with a wonderful turnout the next day at Alberton, where players were presented to the 5 or 6 people gathered there who had actually paid to go....$10 bucks .. I believe, for the honour of being able to see the vanquished up nice and close.

The tradition continued into 2008, where , despite losing the first 4 games....it was the draw you know...they were declared as the best 0-4 side going around by their illustrious, but now somewhat churlish and testy, leader. This culminated in the white flag big raised high and proud over Alberton oval at about Round 13.

The year continued on, and as it became obvious that this was a club FULL of losers, the admin team, well most of them , decided it was definitely time to jump ship, which was probably good as soon after, the club, despite being in the Grand Final 2007, could not get supporters to go to games (they were VERY happy the seats at AAMI were teal by this stage) and the club that exists to win premierships declared a $1.4 MILLION loss. This surprised everyone, as they had spent over $250,000 sponsoring a netball team which they were sure would be a winner.

So now we have The Creed (coz theRevolution sure didn't work) and 1870 plastered over everything....stay tuned...I am sure they will not disappoint this year either...it's tradition you know.​

 

[footyfreak]

This thread is pathetic and D One is one of the worst trolls I've ever seen.

There is a line between trolling and looking like a f/wit who is obsessed, you fall clearly into the latter.

 

[aneale]

I wouldn’t dismiss them finishing 15th or 16th. Andrew Eccles dismissed Carlton finishing that low when he asked to be traded to Carlton at the end of 2001. But why would he think otherwise as he had just played his last game for the Camry Crows which was a final against Carlton. And after Carlton thrashed the Camry Crows by 68 pts he knew that the Camry Crows had no hope in the upcoming years but he didn’t realise that Carlton’s future was just as bleak. This was to be Andrew Eccles only final in the 2001 to 2008 period.

Eccles was also renowned for his 'goose step' kicking action and his repeated attempts to mark the ball with his eyes closed.

Andrew Eccles: 1 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 1 loss, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

39 Losers to go.

What a moron you are D-One, after pointing out the failing of Jack "couldn't coach in the VFL/AFL if he tried' Cahill who also 'never played a VFL/AFL game' which seems to be your measure of quality to fill such a role, now we have to point out base stupidity resembling that of someone with no memory whatsoever.

This would go much smoother if you actually knew who Andrew Eccles was! Wildly googling images of Andrew Eccles may help if you know what he looks like. What makes you think Andrew Eccles is standing in a pack in what is obviously our forward line compromising of 2 blond Crows players and Ben Marsh, a player of considerable height. As an aside it is worth noting that although we are wearing our 'home' shorts and Brisbane are wearing white - this game was played in Brisbane.

would you care to point out the mid sized flanker with black hair in the pic? Your ability to pick out footballers in action shots is almost as bad as the 'tisers, you should apply.

I'll make it easy for you seeing as your football knowledge lends itself to that of most Port supporters

Andrew Eccles - 1 Premiership
Ben Marsh - 1 Premiership
Peter Vardy - 1 Premiership
Matthew Primus - 0 Premiership.

No wonder Matty says privately he wished he went to Brisbane, he would have won a couple before his body gave out.

You get bonus points for working out who the other two players are. Or are you one of those who needs to see their numbers? And a further point for knowing which Scott brother that is in the actual photo of Andrew Eccles

139 years of losers to point out, to go.

 

[aneale]

Loser # 2 - Bowen Lockwood

That's right, picked at # 7 by Port Power in the 1996 draft from the Geelong U18's, Bowen burst onto the scene in Rnd 2 of 1997 (a loss) after being held back from the first ever Power game for Premiership points which was staggeringly lost to an ordinary Magpies side, thus becoming only the second of the expansion franchises to lose their first game for points, albeit the first to not give a yelp.

Bowen went on to win a nomination for the Rising Star in 97 causing much whooping and hollering from the Power faithful who proclaimed Tredders to be 'the next Lockwood'.

In 1999 Bowen managed, quite skilfully, to injure himself in the death defying manoeuvre know as 'picking up a ball at training'. Going onto the dizzying heights of 6 games in 99, 10 games in 2000 and 4 games in 2001, the Power decided that a bloke who averaged less than a goal a game with the body of your average Osteogenesis imperfecta sufferer would make good trade bait. Not even Fremantle were that stupid (again) and Bowen found himself still on the Power list in 2002 when he saw fit to retire.

Spud.

139 years of losers to point out, to go.

 

[xamol]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[Geoffa32]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I second that.

 

[portfan36]

This thread is pathetic and D One is one of the worst trolls I've ever seen.

There is a line between trolling and looking like a f/wit who is obsessed, you fall clearly into the latter.

Coming from someone who has disgraced the "black and white" colours means very little footyfreak. Your time of blackmailing the AFL will soon come to an end and then your record will only get worse.....well maybe not worse, it cant really get any worse than it already is. The richest club in the league with the best facilities and the best incentives to get the best players (i.e. appearing on Eddies show) and you still cannot get the spolis of victory. Your team is the joke of all jokes, people dont even hate your team anymore like they used to due to your lack of success.

People cant respect something that has the world at their feet but does f*ck all with it.

 

[D_One]

Recent history.

05 finals
06 no finals
07 finals
08 no finals
09 finals?

Do you know who else played finals in 05 and 07 but missed out in 06 and 08? Ken McGregor, that’s who.

McGregor is a hack like no other hacks before or since. If the AFL selected an All-Australian Hack team McGregor would be named Captain-Coach.

It has also been rumoured that McGregor, who bears a striking resemblance to Harrison Ford, was only ever selected because Neil Craig is a huge Indiana Jones fan. Although Neil Craig could see that McGregor couldn’t catch, kick and had a lot of trouble handballing he did spot his obvious talent for clumsily falling on opposition players rendering them useless for at least 5 minutes.

Another player in a long list of failed forwards for the Camry Crows, McGregor hung up his boots at the end of 2008. McGregor’s last games was against Richmond in round 11 of 2008 where he got 0 kicks, 0 marks, 2 handballs and 2 frees against, giving him a DreamTeam score of -2 and a SuperCoach score of -5

Ken McGregor: 8 finals for the Camry Crows from 2001 to 2008 including 6 losses, 0 Grand Finals and 0 Flags

36 Losers to go.