Unwanted Pregnancy Advice

[Bont the Lord]

Apologies, guys.

So, my daughter was born premature on 1st of January.

Since then, I decided that anything that might affect her negatively, I've tried to let go.

I still feel emotional, however, holding onto those feelings wasn't sustainable, and certainly isn't something I want my daughter to be exposed to.

We had a paternity test last week; I got to meet and hold her for the first time. She does sort of look like me - sorry, kiddo.

There'll no doubt be challenges ahead, however, if I can rise above them, I'll perhaps be content that at least I won't feel guilty by my own actions/behaviour.

Thanks for everyone's interest and support over the past several months.

Much love.

How long before the test comes back? If she is yours all you can do is love her and be the best Dad you can be

 

[Mojo]

How long before the test comes back? If she is yours all you can do is love her and be the best Dad you can be

Up to 10 days.. I'll find out next week.

Thanks mate.

 

[revo333]

In answer to your question. Yes. Some women do want a baby that badly. Put it another way a woman's instinct to want a kid is as strong as a man's want to ####.

Witnessed this recently. I know a guy and some of his friends were saying his GF just wanted to marry him to have a baby.

They got married about 2 years ago, had a baby and she left him before the baby had even turned 2.

 

[tigs2010]

Witnessed this recently. I know a guy and some of his friends were saying his GF just wanted to marry him to have a baby.

They got married about 2 years ago, had a baby and she left him before the baby had even turned 2.

How can they know that?

 

[errant bounce]

How can they know that?

Her age, job and income, previous dating history, probably saw that there wasn't much love in there either so why else would she be hanging around?

 

[Run n Spread]

Witnessed this recently. I know a guy and some of his friends were saying his GF just wanted to marry him to have a baby.

They got married about 2 years ago, had a baby and she left him before the baby had even turned 2.

Hope he de invested.
Than let's see how that works out.

 

[Bont the Lord]

Up to 10 days.. I'll find out next week.

Thanks mate.

What was the outcome mate?

 

[Run n Spread]

Mojo how's it going? I interpretted before that the paternity test came back yours? But than you said later it was 10 days?
Didnyou get a result.
If positive how is it working out?

 

[Doggy]

How did this turn out?

 

[Shell]

Lol. Fair enough question from a poster called "doggy"

 

[Johnny Bananas]

This may be cold comfort for you OP, but it made me, and I'm sure many others, think twice about having unprotected sex.

 

[superfraser]

Absolutely agree with that.

Whilst I hate that you have to deal with this, your vulnerability is so appreciated. I do hope that it has a positive ending for you.

 

[mouncey2franklin]

The chances of getting pregnant from a one-off fling at 45 are astronomically low.

Either the OP isn't telling us the whole story, or the woman is blatantly LYING (or both) imho.

The monthly chance of pregnancy in a woman aged 30 is about 20%. By age 40 it’s less than 5% and by age 45 the chance is negligible.

- K Hammarberg, Adjunct Senior Research Fellow, Global and Women's Health, School of Public Health & Preventive Medicine, Monash University

If a legit paternity test was done, and it came back that he was the father, that is brutal for OP.

But if he were foolish enough to fall for the 'oopsie' in the first place, I wouldn't be surprised if he were foolish enough to fall for a dodgy paternity test as well.

 

[captain cotch 9]

Mojo how are you tracking?
I just read your story. Being a parent in "normal" circumstances is bloody hard!
I have a lot of empathy for you.

 

[PoppedCorn]

4 months and no update??

 

[Mojo]

Hey guys,

I realise I left this thread without answering a few questions, sorry.

Just firstly, thank you for everyone's support - I'm always a little embarrassed for starting this thread, but desperate times - desperate measures, I suppose.

So, the paternity tests confirmed she was my daughter - she's almost 10 months old now. She's amazing.

My relationship with her mum has been as amacable as possible, and though there are still residual emotions, I don't allow them to surface.

Within any challenge comes the opportunity for growth, and that's the mindset I've tried to adopt.

 

[Mojo]

The chances of getting pregnant from a one-off fling at 45 are astronomically low.

Either the OP isn't telling us the whole story, or the woman is blatantly LYING (or both) imho.

The monthly chance of pregnancy in a woman aged 30 is about 20%. By age 40 it’s less than 5% and by age 45 the chance is negligible.

- K Hammarberg, Adjunct Senior Research Fellow, Global and Women's Health, School of Public Health & Preventive Medicine, Monash University

If a legit paternity test was done, and it came back that he was the father, that is brutal for OP.

But if he were foolish enough to fall for the 'oopsie' in the first place, I wouldn't be surprised if he were foolish enough to fall for a dodgy paternity test as well.

Hey mate,

I was foolish to allow this to happen - I hope my experience can act as a reminder for anyone reading this thread to take the necessary precautions.

Thanks for posting.

 

[Run n Spread]

Hey mate,

I was foolish to allow this to happen - I hope my experience can act as a reminder for anyone reading this thread to take the necessary precautions.

Thanks for posting.

Good luck to you anyway

 

[Furn2]

Hi guys,

This is the last place I ever thought I'd share this story but I'm struggling a little, so here goes...

I went on a couple of dates towards the end of last year with a girl I met online - it didn't go anywhere, but we occasionally swapped messages. Tbh, it was fairly one-sided, and she wanted more from me than I did from her.

Fast forward several months to April this year; I agreed to see her again, and we ended up having drinks and sleeping together. The next morning I find out she wasn't taking contraception - a mutual error, and one I'll now regret forever. Subsequently, I asked her to visit the doctor to attain the Morning-After Pill, and to my shock surprise she tells me, she's not going to because she gets a bad reaction from taking it.

Over the proceeding few days, I implore her to go to the doctor, however, in lieu, she tells me she's taking pregnancy tests and they've come back negative. I assumed that was the end of that experience, and I put it behind me.

Fast forward 6 weeks - approximately 2 weeks ago now - she messages to tell me she wants to speak to me in person. Well, naturally, my heart sank, knowing what her topic of conversation was going to be about. My only hope, was that she decides to terminate the pregnancy.

The following day, a Saturday, she informs me she is pregnant and is going to keep the baby. I have a fairly stressful job, so this almost tipped me over the edge.

I spent Saturday afternoon, and the next several days, begging her not to go down this path; the consequences it would have on my life, the actions that had led us there, however, unfortunately, it's fallen on deaf ears.

This girl (woman) is several years older than I am, 45, so she sees this as her last opportunity to have a baby.

I'm defeat, and no longer know what to do.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions, please let me know.

man that sounds like a heavy situation to be in with all the stress you have at work. at 45 she probably does feel like this is a make or break moment for her which makes it even more complicated for you.

it is tough when two people have such different views on a future that affects both of them so much. stay strong and try to take it one day at a time while you figure out your next move.