Toast Vale Danny Frawley.

BigPowerForward

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May 27, 2018
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I find this whole situation truly sad.
Danny, from all accounts, was a person that had so much to offer the world and for his life to end in these circumstances is heart breaking.
I read today that he was a no show at his own birthday celebration in Bungaree. I can't imagine the pain someone would have to be in for them not turn up to a celebration in their honour. I can only hope that the conversations this high profile tragedy has initiated lead to many lives being saved thereby sparing the family and friends of these individuals from the heartbreak that suicide causes.
 

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SAINTsincebirth

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I come on here a lot a read the bickering between people, its sad that it takes things like this to unite people.

I cannot even start to imagine what frame of mind spud was in. The saddest thing is the loneliness of that moment to make the choice.

He was a great human being that left a indelible mark on the people in his world.


I lost my dad earlier this year and the saints were our strongest bond besides blood. It was something we loved.

One thing I know for sure is that dad and barks would have been waiting for spud at the gate and dad would have chewed his ear off......
 
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Grechy

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It’s hard to think of things like what you’ve highlighted and not get emotional today. It just summed up the man, our club, and his love for it. A more loyal Sainter you’d never see.

I also remember his last game vividly. Me and a mate made the long and rare trek out to Whitten Oval for his last game. I reckon there were a good few thousand of us Sainters there standing on the Doug Hawkins wing that day (probably many of you were there too). It felt like an old Moorabin day, almost a home game. We won it for Spud but it was a sad day for all, had a real end of an era feeling to it.

It’s been a tough 24 hours for sure, it’s not every day you lose a heart and soul person of the football club, it’s just a tragedy. :'(:'(:'(:'(
Sorry to intrude. I've heard Moorabbin in those years was one of the best atmospheres in football. Many say that to this day.

Gutted about this one. RIP Spud.
 

wolfpac13

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Jun 21, 2016
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Anybody see the tire marks that obviously led straight into the tree head on with intent? I just got sent the photo.

My heart is absolutely broken.
 

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Jack Stevens

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Aug 17, 2013
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The thing that's been getting me is that, if I'm not mistaken, it was the road on the way from Bungaree to Melbourne. How many hundreds of times did he drive down that road? How many hundreds of times did he see that tree, and think that's how he'd end things? It's heart breaking.

Danny was so aware of and open about his struggle, it's a hollow feeling to think that not even he could see the light at the end of the tunnel this time.
 

BangersAndMash

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The thing that's been getting me is that, if I'm not mistaken, it was the road on the way from Bungaree to Melbourne. How many hundreds of times did he drive down that road? How many hundreds of times did he see that tree, and think that's how he'd end things? It's heart breaking.

Danny was so aware of and open about his struggle, it's a hollow feeling to think that not even he could see the light at the end of the tunnel this time.


That’s exactly right. Was talking to a friend about this today.

He probably lined up that tree a few times before.

Bloody sad.

Talk blokes....Talk. Cry. Laugh. Seek help.

Whatever it takes to get you back in track.






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Jughead77

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Sep 25, 2017
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Shattered for Spud
If only he knew how much he was loved
Nah mate. Spud knew how much he was loved. Sadly, he didn't think he was worthy of it. And, he didn't know how to love himself.

Honestly, the fact he was loved and needed by those close to him is probably why he didn't do this earlier.

If indeed he had financial problems, a proud person like Spud would have felt deep shame and embarrassment. He's the leader, the captain, the one everyone looks up to. It's his job to help his family and others, not the other way round.

Combined with his marriage breakup and kids all grown up, in his mind, he's not needed anymore. If anything, he was becoming a burden.

Ultimately, his self worth was tied to helping those close to him and making them happy. That was Spud's purpose in life. He had love for everyone and knew he was loved. But, that wasn't enough to save him. In the end, what he really needed, was some love for himself.
 
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austinnn

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Nah mate. Spud knew how much he was loved. Sadly, he didn't think he was worthy of it. And he didn't know how to love himself.

Honestly, the fact he was loved and needed by those close to him is probably why he didn't do this earlier.

If indeed he had financial problems, a proud person like Spud would have felt deep shame and embarrassment. He's the leader, the captain, the one everyone looks up to. It's his job to help his family and others, not the other way round.

Combined with his marriage breakup and kids all grown up, in his mind he wasn't needed anymore. If anything, he was becoming a burden.

Ultimately, his self worth was tied to helping those close to him and making them happy. That was Spud's purpose in life. He had love for everyone and knew he was loved. But, that wasn't enough to save him. In the end, what he really needed, was some love for himself.
Excellent analysis.

A friend of the family killed himself after getting into deep financial difficulties. He had a family all dependent on him and he probably felt the shame of letting them down.

You can say it doesn't matter, that we love you but that just makes it worse. For a lot of men, the fact of not being able to provide for those we love is an insufferable burden that seems impossible to lift. It's about feeling responsible, or useless. It's such an important thing for so many of us.

Now add to that the fact that Spud was a football hero, a media star. If he had lost his money, the knowledge that he had all this glory but was still not able to provide for his family would be unbearably painful for anyone. Anyone with a long term partner knows that money problems can leave to blame during any serious argument, some talk about being a "man", a provider. Words hurt more than fists sometimes.

For someone suffering mental health issues, it would be all the worse.

Imagine reaching out for help in that scenario, especially someone from a country/farming upbringing. Could you be any more ashamed? Love would just feel like pity. Rationalising or talking about the fallacy of shame would feel like a cop out, like BS. Only one thing would make sense to someone in that frame of mind and the only question left is if you are a person who takes action or not. Anyone proactive enough to pursue a career in professional sport or the media probably is.

What is the answer? I wish I knew.

Sorry for anyone I've offended by being this frank. I realise that I am assuming a lot. Maybe none of this is true. I hope it isn't. Just my take on the situation.
 

Drake Huggins

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Excellent analysis.

A friend of the family killed himself after getting into deep financial difficulties. He had a family all dependent on him and he probably felt the shame of letting them down.

You can say it doesn't matter, that we love you but that just makes it worse. For a lot of men, the fact of not being able to provide for those we love is an insufferable burden that seems impossible to lift. It's about feeling responsible, or useless. It's such an important thing for so many of us.

Now add to that the fact that Spud was a football hero, a media star. If he had lost his money, the knowledge that he had all this glory but was still not able to provide for his family would be unbearably painful for anyone. Anyone with a long term partner knows that money problems can leave to blame during any serious argument, some talk about being a "man", a provider. Words hurt more than fists sometimes.

For someone suffering mental health issues, it would be all the worse.

Imagine reaching out for help in that scenario, especially someone from a country/farming upbringing. Could you be any more ashamed? Love would just feel like pity. Rationalising or talking about the fallacy of shame would feel like a cop out, like BS. Only one thing would make sense to someone in that frame of mind and the only question left is if you are a person who takes action or not. Anyone proactive enough to pursue a career in professional sport or the media probably is.

What is the answer? I wish I knew.

Sorry for anyone I've offended by being this frank. I realise that I am assuming a lot. Maybe none of this is true. I hope it isn't. Just my take on the situation.

Superb anslysis, Austinnn. This is the sort of thing that should be posted publicly, for those who are struggling. There are many well meaning, but glib acknowledgements as to what the causes of suicide are. Your perspective is rarely talked about in the MSM.

It explains, perfectly, why high achievers and those of great intelligence choose to end their lives. Shame. Real or imagined.

The real issue here is not the availability of love, support and intervention. All those things were present for Danny.

What was missing was the self esteem and love for himself, that would've prevented him from completing the act, which in itself was the ultimate act of self loathing.

It is why I devote considerable time to promoting self esteem and self regard in men. The current climate of misandry, set up by government, the MSM and various radical neo-feminists, has done much damage to young men and has led to the suicide epidemic. Our idiot premier, Komrade Dan the Marxist fool is particularly culpable.

His insatiable appetite for popularity is fuelled by his willingness to develop government sheltered workshops designed to demean and blame men for all society's ills.

His "tribute" to Danny was political opportunism at its worst. A disgrace of a human being. Bullies women in private, sends his kids to a private Catholic school so they don't get stained by his deplorable SSP of deception and monsters two coppers into not breath testing his half pi**ed wife when she collides with a cyclist. All hail Komrade Dan!

This has been a tale of two Dannies. One, a much loved high achiever who was a selfless legend. The other, a parasitic opportunist, whose never held a real job in his life.
 

Jughead77

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Sep 25, 2017
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Excellent analysis.

A friend of the family killed himself after getting into deep financial difficulties. He had a family all dependent on him and he probably felt the shame of letting them down.

You can say it doesn't matter, that we love you but that just makes it worse. For a lot of men, the fact of not being able to provide for those we love is an insufferable burden that seems impossible to lift. It's about feeling responsible, or useless. It's such an important thing for so many of us.

Now add to that the fact that Spud was a football hero, a media star. If he had lost his money, the knowledge that he had all this glory but was still not able to provide for his family would be unbearably painful for anyone. Anyone with a long term partner knows that money problems can leave to blame during any serious argument, some talk about being a "man", a provider. Words hurt more than fists sometimes.

For someone suffering mental health issues, it would be all the worse.

Imagine reaching out for help in that scenario, especially someone from a country/farming upbringing. Could you be any more ashamed? Love would just feel like pity. Rationalising or talking about the fallacy of shame would feel like a cop out, like BS. Only one thing would make sense to someone in that frame of mind and the only question left is if you are a person who takes action or not. Anyone proactive enough to pursue a career in professional sport or the media probably is.

What is the answer? I wish I knew.

Sorry for anyone I've offended by being this frank. I realise that I am assuming a lot. Maybe none of this is true. I hope it isn't. Just my take on the situation.
Yeah, it's all just assumption atm. Reason I posted, was to counter this notion, that, 'maybe he didn't realise how much he was loved, and maybe he'd still be here if he did.'

For 2 years, I've listed to him speak on his 'No man should ever walk alone' show about his battles. Many of which, mirror my own. Between that and all the other reports coming out, I'd like to think this scenario is closer to what happened.

Whatever the case, it's up to his family and close friends if they want to discuss any of this. After all, It's their story to tell, if they so wish. So far, most of the discussion ive seen has been tasteful, I hope it remains that way.
 

VDS66

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Oct 4, 2011
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Excellent analysis.

A friend of the family killed himself after getting into deep financial difficulties. He had a family all dependent on him and he probably felt the shame of letting them down.

You can say it doesn't matter, that we love you but that just makes it worse. For a lot of men, the fact of not being able to provide for those we love is an insufferable burden that seems impossible to lift. It's about feeling responsible, or useless. It's such an important thing for so many of us.

Now add to that the fact that Spud was a football hero, a media star. If he had lost his money, the knowledge that he had all this glory but was still not able to provide for his family would be unbearably painful for anyone. Anyone with a long term partner knows that money problems can leave to blame during any serious argument, some talk about being a "man", a provider. Words hurt more than fists sometimes.

For someone suffering mental health issues, it would be all the worse.

Imagine reaching out for help in that scenario, especially someone from a country/farming upbringing. Could you be any more ashamed? Love would just feel like pity. Rationalising or talking about the fallacy of shame would feel like a cop out, like BS. Only one thing would make sense to someone in that frame of mind and the only question left is if you are a person who takes action or not. Anyone proactive enough to pursue a career in professional sport or the media probably is.

What is the answer? I wish I knew.

Sorry for anyone I've offended by being this frank. I realise that I am assuming a lot. Maybe none of this is true. I hope it isn't. Just my take on the situation.
Brilliant post mate.

This is so so true.

Especially in an age where so much weight is put on status and material possessions as a measure of success and worth.

Please copy this on to the mental health thread. It's that important IMO.
 

VDS66

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Oct 4, 2011
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Nah mate. Spud knew how much he was loved. Sadly, he didn't think he was worthy of it. And, he didn't know how to love himself.

Honestly, the fact he was loved and needed by those close to him is probably why he didn't do this earlier.

If indeed he had financial problems, a proud person like Spud would have felt deep shame and embarrassment. He's the leader, the captain, the one everyone looks up to. It's his job to help his family and others, not the other way round.

Combined with his marriage breakup and kids all grown up, in his mind, he's not needed anymore. If anything, he was becoming a burden.

Ultimately, his self worth was tied to helping those close to him and making them happy. That was Spud's purpose in life. He had love for everyone and knew he was loved. But, that wasn't enough to save him. In the end, what he really needed, was some love for himself.
So true. Also well said.

I can relate to that and have a mate going through the same.

I also ask you to copy this into the mental health thread, as we need as many contributions we can get to at least be there for others.
 

Jughead77

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Sep 25, 2017
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So true. Also well said.

I can relate to that and have a mate going through the same.

I also ask you to copy this into the mental health thread, as we need as many contributions we can get to at least be there for others.
Yes mate. I'll be doing that later today. I've been watching that thread closely for quite awhile now, admiring everyone's courage and drawing strength from it. And as much as I've wanted to contribute, I just couldn't get any words out.

Now that Spud's gone, maybe by sharing my own story and ongoing struggles, that's how I can best honour the great man.
 

Animal Cager

Debutant
May 13, 2018
139
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Superb anslysis, Austinnn. This is the sort of thing that should be posted publicly, for those who are struggling. There are many well meaning, but glib acknowledgements as to what the causes of suicide are. Your perspective is rarely talked about in the MSM.

It explains, perfectly, why high achievers and those of great intelligence choose to end their lives. Shame. Real or imagined.

The real issue here is not the availability of love, support and intervention. All those things were present for Danny.

What was missing was the self esteem and love for himself, that would've prevented him from completing the act, which in itself was the ultimate act of self loathing.

It is why I devote considerable time to promoting self esteem and self regard in men. The current climate of misandry, set up by government, the MSM and various radical neo-feminists, has done much damage to young men and has led to the suicide epidemic. Our idiot premier, Komrade Dan the Marxist fool is particularly culpable.

His insatiable appetite for popularity is fuelled by his willingness to develop government sheltered workshops designed to demean and blame men for all society's ills.

His "tribute" to Danny was political opportunism at its worst. A disgrace of a human being. Bullies women in private, sends his kids to a private Catholic school so they don't get stained by his deplorable SSP of deception and monsters two coppers into not breath testing his half pi**ed wife when she collides with a cyclist. All hail Komrade Dan!

This has been a tale of two Dannies. One, a much loved high achiever who was a selfless legend. The other, a parasitic opportunist, whose never held a real job in his life.
Whilst some (not me) may find your mention of the Premier irrelevant, well said Drake.

Its good & well to ask blokes if they're OK or prescribe them anti-depressants. However, the question that needs to be faced is why? Why do good blokes feel worthless, when they're not really worthless?
 

CursingFijian

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Embarassment, shame and anxiety aren't the only emotions that drive any person to suicide. There are far too many amongst us that fantasize about suicide as a means of ending their own personal suffering, but don't act on that because they understand the impact that their death will have on their loved ones.

It's when people actually start to believe that the world in general, and their world in particular, will be a better place without them in it that things get scary. These people cultivate a philosophical desire to die that, in their minds, is based on sound reasoning and strong logic. For these people the act of sucide becomes almost heroic.

Perhaps even more terrifying is that studies show that self destructive behaviour spikes in the immediate aftermath of suicides involving celebrities, especially when media reporting is intensive and glorifying.

It is important that we all find some time to focus on the living. The Frawley family, our own families, Jack Steven, any one else with depressive tendencies that needs to feel the touch of our love. They need to be told that the world will not be a better place without them in it. That any self-destructive thoughts they have are, as others like MOLTEN GANGLANDS have spoken about previously, just temporary. Hang in there and get help! There are some really, really good places to find professional help at the touch of a button or the click of a mouse. These include:

Lifeline : 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/
SuicideLine Victoria: 1300 651 251 https://www.suicideline.org.au/
Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 https://kidshelpline.com.au/
Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/
Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
 

atlaser

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Jun 21, 2015
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If anyone personified St Kilda it was Danny Frawley. Absolutely tragic news. Some of my favourite footy memories are listening to spud take the p1ss on triple m before the football on a saturday afternoon. By all accounts a special people person. He will be sorely missed by many, not least his family and those close to him, losing men in middle age is a dreadful experience. Rest in peace great man.
 

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