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Roast Vent Here

  • Thread starter Thread starter Moo
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Nowadays you can't smoke anywhere. I don't smoke anymore but I've been addicted to those nicotine mints for years.

So anyway, back in the day I was at a beach in the middle of winter. There might have been the odd person walking along the beach but it was pretty deserted and there was no one in the water. Besides me.

I think I must have read about cold water therapy or something but yeah it was cold. You might be thinking this is a shrinkage story but no, this is another poo story.

Well I was in the water and needed to poo. You've read the bit about no-one else being there and everything and I have several justifications but I decided I was going to do it in the water. I swam out to deeper water and took my bathers off, did the business, put the bathers back on and swam back to shore because who wants to swim in a toilet right?

I forgot an important point. Before I put my bathers back on, whilst still in the water, I cleaned my backside with my hand. Gross right?

So I get back to the shallows and I have a psychological need to wash my hands thoroughly. My clever idea was to use the sand in the shallows to thoroughly exfoliate my hands.

So I was washing my hands and on one of my fingers was this yellow/brownish stain. And I kept rubbing and exfoliating and it wouldn't go away. I kept doing it for far longer than I thought it should take until it dawned on me. That yellowish/brown stain on my finger was actually a nicotine stain.
 
Tony_Clifton said:
Nowadays you can't smoke anywhere. I don't smoke anymore but I've been addicted to those nicotine mints for years.

So anyway, back in the day I was at a beach in the middle of winter. There might have been the odd person walking along the beach but it was pretty deserted and there was no one in the water. Besides me.

I think I must have read about cold water therapy or something but yeah it was cold. You might be thinking this is a shrinkage story but no, this is another poo story.

Well I was in the water and needed to poo. You've read the bit about no-one else being there be everything and I have several justifications but I decided I was going to do it in the water. I swam out to deeper water and took my bathers off, did the business, put the bathers back on and swam back to shore because who wants to swim in a toilet right?

I forgot an important point. Before I put my bathers back on, whilst still in the water, I cleaned my backside with my hand. Gross right?

So I get back to the shallows and I have a psychological need to wash my hands thoroughly. My clever idea was to use the sand in the shallows to thoroughly exfoliate my hands.

So I was washing my hands and on one of my fingers was this yellow/brownish stain. And I kept rubbing and exfoliating and it wouldn't go away. I kept doing it for far longer than I thought it should take until it dawned on me. That yellowish/brown stain on my finger was actually a nicotine stain.
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Bahahahaha
 

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Tony_Clifton said:
Nowadays you can't smoke anywhere. I don't smoke anymore but I've been addicted to those nicotine mints for years.

So anyway, back in the day I was at a beach in the middle of winter. There might have been the odd person walking along the beach but it was pretty deserted and there was no one in the water. Besides me.

I think I must have read about cold water therapy or something but yeah it was cold. You might be thinking this is a shrinkage story but no, this is another poo story.

Well I was in the water and needed to poo. You've read the bit about no-one else being there and everything and I have several justifications but I decided I was going to do it in the water. I swam out to deeper water and took my bathers off, did the business, put the bathers back on and swam back to shore because who wants to swim in a toilet right?

I forgot an important point. Before I put my bathers back on, whilst still in the water, I cleaned my backside with my hand. Gross right?

So I get back to the shallows and I have a psychological need to wash my hands thoroughly. My clever idea was to use the sand in the shallows to thoroughly exfoliate my hands.

So I was washing my hands and on one of my fingers was this yellow/brownish stain. And I kept rubbing and exfoliating and it wouldn't go away. I kept doing it for far longer than I thought it should take until it dawned on me. That yellowish/brown stain on my finger was actually a nicotine stain.
Click to expand...
I was hoping you were at Leighton dog beach..
 
Tony_Clifton said:
Nowadays you can't smoke anywhere. I don't smoke anymore but I've been addicted to those nicotine mints for years.

So anyway, back in the day I was at a beach in the middle of winter. There might have been the odd person walking along the beach but it was pretty deserted and there was no one in the water. Besides me.

I think I must have read about cold water therapy or something but yeah it was cold. You might be thinking this is a shrinkage story but no, this is another poo story.

Well I was in the water and needed to poo. You've read the bit about no-one else being there and everything and I have several justifications but I decided I was going to do it in the water. I swam out to deeper water and took my bathers off, did the business, put the bathers back on and swam back to shore because who wants to swim in a toilet right?

I forgot an important point. Before I put my bathers back on, whilst still in the water, I cleaned my backside with my hand. Gross right?

So I get back to the shallows and I have a psychological need to wash my hands thoroughly. My clever idea was to use the sand in the shallows to thoroughly exfoliate my hands.

So I was washing my hands and on one of my fingers was this yellow/brownish stain. And I kept rubbing and exfoliating and it wouldn't go away. I kept doing it for far longer than I thought it should take until it dawned on me. That yellowish/brown stain on my finger was actually a nicotine stain.
Click to expand...
If you had light coloured hair & a "mo", that would also have been stained

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I am calling Melbourne City Council. There are 20 Dockers off lead in a park shitting themselves.
 

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**** the bye. We historically struggle post in-season bye. I’m chalking this insipid display up to that. Our key forwards are having off days. The holding the ball rule is all over the place and the dogs have been super efficient
 
im_a_lazy_sod said:
**** the bye. We historically struggle post in-season bye. I’m chalking this insipid display up to that. Our key forwards are having off days. The holding the ball rule is all over the place and the dogs have been super efficient
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It’s weird how the bye seems to be such a factor, despite Freo claiming they were dealing with it. Bulldogs having three games in a row at Marvel gives them a huge advantage. Looks like some fringe players will be getting a call up.
 
We’ve been so disadvantaged by the fixtures. Bulldogs got to play two teams in a row from other states, and three in a row at Marvel. When we finally get two games in a row it’s against West Coast - not much of an advantage. We’ve had two periods of giant gaps bet games at Optus.
 

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