"They said you'd never make it but you finally came through, for all of those who've made it this Swan's made for you..." And with that Tiger fans mused about the halcyon days when Alan Bond owned the world and Richmond was one of his two dollar shelf companies. That fleeting moment gone, it was back to celebrating and wondering just how the preordained favourites fell so badly at the last hurdle and why the unbelievable had been just been delivered to true believers.
The story unfolds back last Thursday when, having failed to secure a third straight home final, the Adelaide entourage begrudgingly boarded a Jetstar flight to Avalon. With the entire team and support staff now hopelessly lost in the western suburbs, it was up to the coaching panel (having opted to land at Essendon due to safety concerns about Tullamarine) to conduct a ring-around and cobble together a new side. Meanwhile, the real team, having taken a maxi-taxi via Simmonds Stadium (to observe the physical design of a real home ground advantage) had been dropped in Footscray after a disagreement over the selected fare tariff (Level 3 - Interstate and Overseas passengers). This now presented as a real dilemma with those assembled fearing that they had actually arrived a day late in 2016. In an arrangement resembling a poorly executed defensive zone, they set about harassing locals inquiring as to the whereabouts of the MSG.
Fortunately, a private training session on Richmond's other home had been hastily organised by the AFL for the Crows allowing Pyke's hurriedly assembled collection of doppelgangers to pass themselves off as the real deal. Put through a series of punishing drills around witches hats (each emblazoned with the name of a Richmond player) Pyke announced to the heavily vetted media throng that the Crows not only "fly as one" but they would also "play as they trained". When queried about the seemingly obvious difference between cones with names and actual opponents, Pyke simply pointed to selected footage of their latest appearances against GWS and Geelong where opposition players could be clearly seen remaining motionless. Satisfied and chiding themselves for being so silly, the AFL propaganda unit raced off to furiously attack their Twitter accounts. The fall from grace was now in motion.
Footnote: After spending Friday negotiating a TAFE course on how to purchase and top up a MYKI account, the real Adelaide team arrived at Jolimont Station at 1.55 pm, by their watches. Unfortunately, before disembarking at Avalon, their friendly Jetstar pilot Captain Tony Jewell, failed to inform the Adelaide group to wind their watches half an hour forward. With no time remaining to strap, get changed and compare their latest ankle tattoos, it was left to the doppelgangers to take the field for the first half. Of course the ability of this group to run out four torrid quarters was always going to be questioned (much like the decision of Spotless Catering not to serve a pie floater and West End combo) and they were replaced at half time by the original side. The rest, as we know, is history!