*BREAKING NEWS*
My sources have told me that Rock has been in talks with a division two cellar dwellar and is close to striking a deal. He will cross to the club in 2009 and fulfill the following roles.
Captain/Coach
President
Treasurer
Football Operations Manager
Media Manager
Property steward
Curator ( a hard job due to the damage caused by 12 year old kids driving the family ute on the ground)
Canteen Manager
Cash a can officer
The financial side of the agreement is veiled in secrecy but it is believed that over three years, Rock will earn
A mountain bike of his choice, from Kmart.
A complimentary Datsun 200B and 25 dollar fuel card.
Two Bunnings Vouchers of 100 dollars
A MYKI account just in case he is a greenie and wants to take the train rather than drive the Datsun
Free hot dogs on game day
There is one behavior clause. He is only allowed to eat the Dim Sims from the club's canteen. If he is seen eating South Melbourne Dim Sims, he will forgo a year worth of financial incentives, per dim sim. Quite the dilemma.
This is the truth

, as reported by a truth teller

who hides behind his alias

.