Society/Culture What are parents doing these days to help their child’s cognitive development?

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Norm Smith Medallist
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I remember chasing my 2 year old around a party with a friend taunting me for not being able to stand still for a yarn and a drink.

About 5 years later he is doing exactly the same thing, with us heaping it on him. He was not smiling.
You would think a 7 year old would have grown out of it. What sort of parent are you?
 

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chelseacarlton

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There’s definitely a diet issue, which translates to lower levels of activity.
Not in my house, I enjoy torturing my kids with a healthy diet.
We do balance it with the occasional takeaway and snack food.
I have a 15 year old that doesn’t want to leave the house let alone his gaming computer.
That’s tougher than keeping them well fed and watered!
My 9 year old is athletic, she loves any form of exercise/sport, skating, surfing, bike riding, footy, soccer etc.
I literally have to drag my boy out of bed to go to school some days, drives me insane.
 

Jason mp

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Not in my house, I enjoy torturing my kids with a healthy diet.
We do balance it with the occasional takeaway and snack food.
I have a 15 year old that doesn’t want to leave the house let alone his gaming computer.
That’s tougher than keeping them well fed and watered!
My 9 year old is athletic, she loves any form of exercise/sport, skating, surfing, bike riding, footy, soccer etc.
I literally have to drag my boy out of bed to go to school some days, drives me insane.
My kids are well and truly grown up now... but your story nearly exactly mirrors my grandchildren, the eldest is a 15 year old boy and is in love with his computer games, he has a part time job at McDonalds and loves junk food. The other 2, a girl 10 years old and a boy 13 love their sport and are quite happy to eat the healthy food dished up by mum and dad, when they come for sleepovers at my place though they like to get treat food and I'm usually a soft touch when it comes to them.
 

chelseacarlton

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My kids are well and truly grown up now... but your story nearly exactly mirrors my grandchildren, the eldest is a 15 year old boy and is in love with his computer games, he has a part time job at McDonalds and loves junk food. The other 2, a girl 10 years old and a boy 13 love their sport and are quite happy to eat the healthy food dished up by mum and dad, when they come for sleepovers at my place though they like to get treat food and I'm usually a soft touch when it comes to them.
I love my boy, but this whole teenage this annoys me, he flat out disagrees with everything, sulks and mopes around all the time unless he’s talking about gaming or becoming a cop and leaving school early.
Last year he wanted to take over his grandfather’s Law Firm to keep the family in the business.
Up is down down is up, walk your ******* dog and clean up it’s sh*t off my lawn like you cryingly promised in the handshake deal.
I have to remind myself at 15, I was probably worse, the kid is all heart, I didn’t care for much at all!
 

Jason mp

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I love my boy, but this whole teenage this annoys me, he flat out disagrees with everything, sulks and mopes around all the time unless he’s talking about gaming or becoming a cop and leaving school early.
Last year he wanted to take over his grandfather’s Law Firm to keep the family in the business.
Up is down down is up, walk your ******* dog and clean up it’s sh*t off my lawn like you cryingly promised in the handshake deal.
I have to remind myself at 15, I was probably worse, the kid is all heart, I didn’t care for much at all!
The last line sums it up, all 15 year olds can be know it all pain in the arses. Reminds me of a story about him, last school holidays I took the 3 of them to Inflatable World(jumping castles, trampoline type stuff) anyway I had a parent of another child come over and say that Olly(the 15 year old) was bullying their kids and had an attitude problem. both were kids around his age and obese and from my short take were pandered too/soft/mummys kids. They had a go at Olly without my knowledge, anyway long story short Olly stood up to the mother and grandmother and said he was doing nothing wrong, it was just kids doing what kids do and skylarking. I kept an eye on this family after the complaint and they were the classic helicopter parents butting their noses in at the slightest incident with their kids.

I told Olly later that I was proud of him standing up for himself and his brother and sister, I said just because you're an adult doesn't automatically mean you're right, know everything or should get respect, that has to be earned. I did finish with but the same goes for 15 year olds.. they don't know everything.
 

chelseacarlton

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The last line sums it up, all 15 year olds can be know it all pain in the arses. Reminds me of a story about him, last school holidays I took the 3 of them to Inflatable World(jumping castles, trampoline type stuff) anyway I had a parent of another child come over and say that Olly(the 15 year old) was bullying their kids and had an attitude problem. both were kids around his age and obese and from my short take were pandered too/soft/mummys kids. They had a go at Olly without my knowledge, anyway long story short Olly stood up to the mother and grandmother and said he was doing nothing wrong, it was just kids doing what kids do and skylarking. I kept an eye on this family after the complaint and they were the classic helicopter parents butting their noses in at the slightest incident with their kids.

I told Olly later that I was proud of him standing up for himself and his brother and sister, I said just because you're an adult doesn't automatically mean you're right, know everything or should get respect, that has to be earned. I did finish with but the same goes for 15 year olds.. they don't know everything.
I’ve my fair share of confrontations in regards to this type of scenario as well, both school related and in the public square.
It’s best to keep a cool head and be the most rational and reasonable person, but if push comes shove, of course we are all going to go out all guns blazing when it’s your kids.
 

Leeda

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We did. I don’t know where your school is but a huge percentage can’t read or write? What is a huge percentage?
hmm the percentage is that it is enough to supposedly get parents worried about their own situation, or else it is not enough
to get those who aren't helping their kids to read and write enough to seek help..
too many kids can't read and write and mostly it is because the parents don't see it as a problem.. just get your kids off to school
have the teachers do everything and don't give a sh*t after hours.. spelling is particularly galling to me.. and pronunciation as well..
it is not all the teachers fault but the parents who prefer to diatribe with their teachers and can't understand why their little 'Elspeth'
is not attaching to her lessons enough...
 

Kram

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I recently asked my mum about some primary aged kids over in my street that never seem to be at school. She works there so was able to look up their attendance this year, since May four kids with 12%, 6%, 2% and 0%. How is this allowed to happen? Both sets of parents don't work, Centrelink payments should be looked at if you can't get your kids to school at least 80% ofthe time.
 

PhatBoy

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I recently asked my mum about some primary aged kids over in my street that never seem to be at school. She works there so was able to look up their attendance this year, since May four kids with 12%, 6%, 2% and 0%. How is this allowed to happen? Both sets of parents don't work, Centrelink payments should be looked at if you can't get your kids to school at least 80% ofthe time.

That’s very sad.

Going through a separation has made me evaluate my qualities as a parent very closely. There are days when literally all I feel like I have in the world is the love of my two boys and not a thing more, so making them feel loved and valued is very important to me.

I have them 50 per cent of the time, always 3 nights on, 3 nights off.

I try and make sure that every day I do at least one activity with them, whether it is to go to a playground, take them to the golf course (the 10 year old plays, the 12 year old just walks around), play a video game or watch a movie/episodes of a tv show.

My younger one actually sleeps in my bed when he comes over and where once I would have been furious at the thought, I actually love it now.

I do care how they develop educationally. I encourage them to do their homework and assignments and the older one who’s borderline on the spectrum, I basically hold his hand with all his projects but make sure he has the intellectual input.

There are many things that make me doubt whether I’m doing a good job. The older one in particular can be very introverted, hates sport no matter how I try to encourage him to get into it, and is addicted to technology.

But extended family and teachers and anyone who has met them all say the same thing: ‘your boys are loving, polite, kind, and don’t have any malice in them and they both have good hearts.’

That’s enough for me.
 

Demonic Ascent

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I've got two boys a 7yo and a 5yo. Completely different personalities and traits eg the 7yo goes to bed early and wakes at the crack of dawn the 5yo can't get to sleep at night and could sleep til 10am if you let him.

We read to both kids from an early age, the 7yo was read to all the time from when he was only months old and won't go to sleep without a story before bed most nights. The 5yo never really liked reading even as a baby would try and knock the book out of your hands. It's only the last 6-12 months he's actually started to get more into it but he would only want a story 1 or 2 nights a week on average compared to his brother.

I was read to as a kid and I just assumed it's a normal part of a parent/child relationship but I know plenty of parents out there that would hardly read to their kids at all. My kids have a full bookshelf overflowing with their own books and my wife and I have another 3 bookshelves full of books as well but most houses we visit have hardly any books around at all. Not judging them because they do plenty of other activities with their kids I just find it strange.
 

Demonic Ascent

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That’s very sad.

Going through a separation has made me evaluate my qualities as a parent very closely. There are days when literally all I feel like I have in the world is the love of my two boys and not a thing more, so making them feel loved and valued is very important to me.

I have them 50 per cent of the time, always 3 nights on, 3 nights off.

I try and make sure that every day I do at least one activity with them, whether it is to go to a playground, take them to the golf course (the 10 year old plays, the 12 year old just walks around), play a video game or watch a movie/episodes of a tv show.

My younger one actually sleeps in my bed when he comes over and where once I would have been furious at the thought, I actually love it now.

I do care how they develop educationally. I encourage them to do their homework and assignments and the older one who’s borderline on the spectrum, I basically hold his hand with all his projects but make sure he has the intellectual input.

There are many things that make me doubt whether I’m doing a good job. The older one in particular can be very introverted, hates sport no matter how I try to encourage him to get into it, and is addicted to technology.

But extended family and teachers and anyone who has met them all say the same thing: ‘your boys are loving, polite, kind, and don’t have any malice in them and they both have good hearts.’

That’s enough for me.
Everyone questions if what they're doing is the right thing and you're always comparing yourselves to other parents especially these days with people posting their best lives on social media. The main thing is as you've said if they're happy, good natured, respectful etc. Can't be too hard on ourselves, nobodies perfect and being a parent is a tough gig. I'm constantly in my own head about whether I am being too lenient or too harsh on my boys but at the end of the day as long as they're good kids and happy that's enough for me.
 

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Seeds

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There's this media myth that kids are all coddled because they didn't go through the traditional hazing ritual of having a raddish shoved up your arse on the first day of school.

People without kids then roll around wailing about something that isn't even a problem.

Meanwhile, childhood deaths due to accident are dropping, but mental health is either worsening or is simply being diagnosed better.
Mental health is not worsening. It wasnt considered an illness in the past.
 

Seeds

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I've got two boys a 7yo and a 5yo. Completely different personalities and traits eg the 7yo goes to bed early and wakes at the crack of dawn the 5yo can't get to sleep at night and could sleep til 10am if you let him.

We read to both kids from an early age, the 7yo was read to all the time from when he was only months old and won't go to sleep without a story before bed most nights. The 5yo never really liked reading even as a baby would try and knock the book out of your hands. It's only the last 6-12 months he's actually started to get more into it but he would only want a story 1 or 2 nights a week on average compared to his brother.

I was read to as a kid and I just assumed it's a normal part of a parent/child relationship but I know plenty of parents out there that would hardly read to their kids at all. My kids have a full bookshelf overflowing with their own books and my wife and I have another 3 bookshelves full of books as well but most houses we visit have hardly any books around at all. Not judging them because they do plenty of other activities with their kids I just find it strange.
Have you heard of kindles? Bookshelves are a thing of the past.
 

Seeds

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I can't stand them but of course others use them. Not the people I'm talking about though.
Kindles are vastly superior to books. can highlight key phases and notes which is a massive game changer for non fiction readers. Less neck and shoulder pain. Dont need a night light to read at night. Dont need Space in your house to store them. Significantly cheaper books. Saves paper.

the only downside at this point is for picture books. But since Im not 5 that doesnt really bother me.

people are getting rid of their bookshelves. I already have and now just store physical books in boxes. Whats the point in displaying them if all my new books are coming from kindle? Same thing is happening with dvds. this is a better world.
 

Seeds

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I think shelves are better for getting your kids to look at books they might not consider otherwise.
Picture books yes. But you dont choose novels based off a cover. Plus kids can see covers on the internet anyway. And they also get reviews. Another advantage that modern book readers have that we didnt have as kids. A way to sort the good books from the poor. We used to rely on 2 paragraph blurbs that told us nothing about quality of the book.
 

Demonic Ascent

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I've already boxed up/got rid of all my CDs/DVDs but I can't bring myself to with books. The only reason I would get a Kindle is for travelling but there's something about having a physical copy of a book in your hand that I prefer.

As I said the reference I made in my earlier post was about people not having books and they don't have kindles either. Many of them still have hundreds of DVDs stacked in shelves around their living rooms though.
 

ShanDog

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hmm the percentage is that it is enough to supposedly get parents worried about their own situation, or else it is not enough
to get those who aren't helping their kids to read and write enough to seek help..
too many kids can't read and write and mostly it is because the parents don't see it as a problem.. just get your kids off to school
have the teachers do everything and don't give a sh*t after hours.. spelling is particularly galling to me.. and pronunciation as well..
it is not all the teachers fault but the parents who prefer to diatribe with their teachers and can't understand why their little 'Elspeth'
is not attaching to her lessons enough...
Holy fu**, I understood every thought and sentence you wrote. Given the topic, it's quite funny.
 

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