What the heck? What does an integrity unit do?
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gavaniacono
Cancelled
The 3 golden strings of the corporatist bow:
Plausible deniability.
Bluff.
Avoid being caught.
Plausible deniability.
Bluff.
Avoid being caught.
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Percel
Percel doesn't like microwave meals
They lick caviar of Gillion's skin tags
StCicatriz
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broom and dust pan
Titus O'Reilly refers to as the AFL Cover Up Unit.
I think thats probably the answer you're looking for right there.
Well thats an image that will take a huge amount of beer to shake.
Theres just no call for that kind of behaviour
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The title is probably business BS but they are simply part of the natural justice process in regards to investigating alleged inappropriate behaviour, no matter how big or small.
How large their role is I don't know. But it wouldn't surprise me there were plenty of investigations always going on. You only hear about the juicy ones.
They are members of an ancient mystical order of public relations professionals who are trained to swoop in ninja-like when the AFL becomes aware of a scandal.
They then assess the scandal and with careful reference to legal precedent, morality, the key texts of several of the world 's major religions, and which part of Gil's menstrual cycle is occurring at that particular time and choose to enact one of the following rites.
1. Secretum - Stonewall, blanket denial and cover it up due to 'privacy concerns'
2. Poena Simulare - Implement a token $$ punishment with a carefully choreographed and stage managed triumphant return to football.
3. Exterminium - Drop them like a hot potato, ban them from the grounds, remove any mention of them and pretend the AFL never had anything to do with them.
They then assess the scandal and with careful reference to legal precedent, morality, the key texts of several of the world 's major religions, and which part of Gil's menstrual cycle is occurring at that particular time and choose to enact one of the following rites.
1. Secretum - Stonewall, blanket denial and cover it up due to 'privacy concerns'
2. Poena Simulare - Implement a token $$ punishment with a carefully choreographed and stage managed triumphant return to football.
3. Exterminium - Drop them like a hot potato, ban them from the grounds, remove any mention of them and pretend the AFL never had anything to do with them.
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As an aging ex bureaucrat I can only be certain of what it's not, that is contributing positively to the integrity of an organisation .
There's an indefatigable rule that more any organisation publishes it's commitment to integrity, equal opportunity or it'scommitment to work life balance, the less well it does at delivering them.
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Carpet installation.
76woodenspooners
Brownlow Medallist
I’d imagine that it’s a bit like asking what the cops do when there’s no crime?
A few ideas:
- There are around 1200 players and coaches to keep track of with the gambling agencies (ensure that there is no gambling on AFL matches)
- Provide player ethics and integrity training for 1200 players and coaches and officials across 18 clubs
- Audit TPP + general accounts + medical records for 18 clubs
- Keep track of 400 players playing in 9 games every weekend and look for statistical anomalies.
- liaise with counterparts in other sports (including international sports), plus the authorities (ASADA, law enforcement, etc), plus attend and present at relevant conferences.
You could easily keep a bunch of folks busy full time doing all of that.
- Thread starter
- #15
The police is quite different as you have each branch looking after many thousands. And for criminal matters AFL related, there's, well, there's the police.
- I mean what is ethics training involve? Meetings telling you not to be a campaigner?
- What statistical anomalies are they looking for?
- Liaise with other equally useless integrity units of other sports?
Seems like glorified HR.
76woodenspooners
Brownlow Medallist
A bunch of ideas ...
- You can gamble on the ponies etc, but not on anything to do with AFL. Any questions?
- If anybody from the senior coach to a dodgy Indian book-maker tries to convince you to perform below your best for any reason, then you are expected to report it immediately to integrity unit. Any questions?
- You are responsible for any substances that go into your body. If anybody from the club doctor to your coke dealer give you anything you’re unsure about, this is how you go about finding out if it’s ridgy didge or dodgy. Any questions?
- All players have a duty of care to themselves and to the other participants on the arena including their team mates, players of the other team, umpires, etc, etc. Any questions?
- Confidential information. All players must keep all team information (including team selection) confidential within the team. Players are to take care who they discuss medical or injury information with. Any questions?
- Players are not to receive any direct payment or payment-in-kind outside of what is stipulated in their AFL contract. Any questions?
Any that might indicate if a team is tanking?
The gambling industry is big business, and that business relies on the integrity of the game being maintained.
The game itself is big business (TV rights are $1B a year by themselves) and it relies on the integrity of the game being maintained.
You could probably justify having a team of a 100 highly paid people sitting around playing tiddlywinks if it gives the illusion of the integrity of the game is being maintained.
But i’m sure there is plenty to keep them busy.
“People and Culture” is the modern lingo
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^^^
Good answer.
And good discussion.
Although this thread is related to scandals, it doesn't belong on the Scandals & Rumors board because it is neither. Should be on the MB for a larger audience.
Good answer.
And good discussion.
Although this thread is related to scandals, it doesn't belong on the Scandals & Rumors board because it is neither. Should be on the MB for a larger audience.
deltablues
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A bunch of ideas ...
- You can gamble on the ponies etc, but not on anything to do with AFL. Any questions?
- If anybody from the senior coach to a dodgy Indian book-maker tries to convince you to perform below your best for any reason, then you are expected to report it immediately to integrity unit. Any questions?
- You are responsible for any substances that go into your body. If anybody from the club doctor to your coke dealer give you anything you’re unsure about, this is how you go about finding out if it’s ridgy didge or dodgy. Any questions?
- All players have a duty of care to themselves and to the other participants on the arena including their team mates, players of the other team, umpires, etc, etc. Any questions?
- Confidential information. All players must keep all team information (including team selection) confidential within the team. Players are to take care who they discuss medical or injury information with. Any questions?
- Players are not to receive any direct payment or payment-in-kind outside of what is stipulated in their AFL contract. Any questions?
Any that might indicate if a team is tanking?
The gambling industry is big business, and that business relies on the integrity of the game being maintained.
The game itself is big business (TV rights are $1B a year by themselves) and it relies on the integrity of the game being maintained.
You could probably justify having a team of a 100 highly paid people sitting around playing tiddlywinks if it gives the illusion of the integrity of the game is being maintained.
But i’m sure there is plenty to keep them busy.
“People and Culture” is the modern lingo
Integrity Unit: an entity focused on justifying its existence and job security by engaging in nanny-state mission creep, with lots of training, workshops, toolboxes, meetings, reports, reviews, conferences, org charts etc, all couched in bureaucratic doublespeak, performed by earnest jobsworths who would otherwise be licking stamps at the post office.
76woodenspooners
Brownlow Medallist
What’s the alternative?
Should clubs be free to break the salary cap without any enforcement body to police it?
Should players be free to gamble on AFL outcomes without anybody to bust them?
Should clubs be free to tank for draft position without having to be accountable to anybody but their supporters?
What would the gambling industry think of that?
What would the broadcast rights holders think of all that?
deltablues
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Awesome satire, 76.
76woodenspooners
Brownlow Medallist
C’mon, it’s all about following the money, isn’t it?
And doesn’t that require an integrity unit to (at a minimum) give the appearance that there is integrity in the game?
deltablues
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Re the money - an AFL integrity unit is not the gambling industry's auditor/DA. And an in-house IU is all about not following the money. Cue current Oz banks' scandals.
An AFL integrity unit has an inherent conflict of interest - so the "appearance" would be self-serving.
It also begs the Q - how do you define 'integrity'? That was my point. Market forces (i.e. fans and sponsors) will decide that. Certainly not some boondoggle business unit within the AFL.
- Thread starter
- #25
Isn’t that what an hr or people and culture department is for?
Integrity unit is such a wanky term.
So people wouldn’t believe there was integrity if there wasn’t an integrity unit?
If there was a Let’s Not Be Driven Purely By Money unit would people then be convinced the AFL puts the best interests of the competition before cash?
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