What If The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled…

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The Royal Sampler

Floreat Pica, Bitch!
Nov 26, 2006
33,484
36,449
Hooray For Science, Woo!
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
VFL Magpies
Was convincing the AFL world that he didn’t matter, because all his wins were by less than two goals?

And like that, after three finals decided by a goal each, the Premiership Cup is gone…

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gouki88

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 3, 2020
12,860
20,912
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Boston Celtics, Liverpool
I like it. Cements us as one of the bigger villains in recent AFL seasons.
 

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Cyclops

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 25, 2001
10,395
6,628
Northern Suburbs
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
IOM Gyms, Preston Nth End
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Alright here's what you're gonna do. When Nathan Buckley offers his resignation, you accept it, thank him and move on. Harvey will coach out the year, but he will move on too. Now there will be a number of options available, I want you to look like you're interested in the main guy, but the guy you will say yes to is McRae. No questions. He will ask for a number of assistants and you will agree. To all of them. The new president will keep his mouth shut and the coach will be the face of the club. Its likely there will be injuries, don't sweat it, the list is deep. If the league comes after one of our players you call me. Now this is important; if you're beating a side, don't blow them away, lock it down and keep the win small. You won't see the point of this now, but when the time comes you will. Nod if you understand.
 

Cyclops

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 25, 2001
10,395
6,628
Northern Suburbs
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
IOM Gyms, Preston Nth End
Always Sunny Reaction GIF

Crazy Vossy: This league is being bled like a stuffed pig Mac, and I got a paper trail to prove it. Check this out, take a look at this.

Brett Ratten: Jesus Christ, Vossy.

Crazy Vossy : That right there is the ladder. Now let's talk about the ladder. Can we talk about the ladder please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the ladder with you all day, okay? Jack Ginnivan, this name keeps comin' up over and over and over again. Every day Jack's free kicks getting sent back to me. Jack Ginnivan, Jack Ginnivan, I look in the paper, this whole page is Jack Ginnivan! So I say to myself I gotta stop this guy. I gotta go up to the forward line, I gotta tackle the guy's goddam head! Otherwise he's never gonna stop it, it's gonna keep coming back down here. So I go up to Jack Ginnivan's pocket and what do I find out, Brett, what do I find out? There is no Jack Ginnivan. The man does not exist, okay? So I decided, ohh s**t, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper. There's no Jack Ginnivan, you gotta be kidding me, I got goal tallies full of Jack! All right, so I start marching my way down to Gil at Head office. and I knock on his door and I say, "Gil, Giiiiil! I gotta talk to you about Jack!" And when I open the door, what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office. There is no Gillon at the AFL. Brett, half the employees in this building have been made up. This league is a goddamn ghost town.

Brett Ratten: Okay Vossy, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Not only do all of these people exist, but they have been asking for their free kicks for Ginnivan on a daily basis. It's all they're talking about up there. Jesus Christ, dude. We are gonna miss the finals.

Crazy Vossy: Well calm down, 'cause here's one thing that's not gonna happen.

Brett Ratten: What?

Crazy Vossy: We're not gonna miss the finals.

Brett Ratten: We're not?

Crazy Vossy: 'Cause we've already missed the finals.
 

Scritchyscroony

Where'd me kids go?
Mar 21, 2018
2,698
3,745
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Newcastle United FC
Keep a bloody lid on it!
We are the masters of losing grand finals remember!
Last thing the team needs is mass supporter hubris messing with the way lines of Collingwood Karma again. Not to mention throwing the devil into the mix!
 

jathanas

Moderator
Aug 17, 2011
10,231
27,084
Warrandyte
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Man U
Was convincing the AFL world that he didn’t matter, because all his wins were by less than two goals?

And like that, after three finals decided by a goal each, the Premiership Cup is gone…

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I liked your post but am concerned this is very Kirby -like behaviour on your part. Please don't tempt fate. :)
 

OniAu

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 4, 2007
7,455
8,581
Bendigo
AFL Club
Collingwood
$%!@ it , im daring to dream. If we do somehow pull off the flag this year id be content forever as a pies supporter.
Really would be hollywood script style for a sports team from the end of 2020 finals campaign to end of this year

Likewise if we dont pull it off , im still stoked with this season.
 

Cousin of Daicos

Snubbed for the AA Squad
Sep 17, 2007
25,124
24,661
Melbourne
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Man. U, Chicago Bulls, Ολυμπιακός
This would legit be a hugely anti-climactic season if Collingwood didn't win the flag

After all the stories of the season and in particular our story, it would be incredibly...meh, were Geelong or Melbourne were to win it

This season basically becomes one of - if not the best, season in AFL/VFL History if we win it. I'm well aware of how that sounds coming from a Collingwood supporter, but doesn't make me wrong
 

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The Royal Sampler

Floreat Pica, Bitch!
Nov 26, 2006
33,484
36,449
Hooray For Science, Woo!
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
VFL Magpies
Keep a bloody lid on it!
We are the masters of losing grand finals remember!
Last thing the team needs is mass supporter hubris messing with the way lines of Collingwood Karma again. Not to mention throwing the devil into the mix!

Lawd you guys are a bunch of wet blankets. I’m not saying we’re going to win, I’m saying it would be badass if we did.

Live a little!
 

Good Horse

cancelled
Sep 21, 2019
2,245
9,181
AFL Club
Collingwood
So you are saying we have hidden a killer streak by appearing on the surface to be less dangerous and fearsome than we are, hoping to unleash our true demonic form in the GF when it is too late for opponents to realise that under our cuddly exterior a Hannibal like evil lurks?

So...we're...ponies?

Is that what you mean?

Ponies???????????????????
 

Jasper84

Premium Platinum
Sep 23, 2013
4,633
14,591
AFL Club
Collingwood
Pies make top 4 and cause Blues to miss out on finals by minor percentage.

Treloar stars for Dogs against Pies, giving them the percentage over Blues

Treloar goes to Dogs due to Pies salary issues.

Pies have salary issues due to Beams contract

Pies get Beams due to our mids getting beaten on GF day.

Pies midfield gets beaten due to not having an experienced burst contested mid.

Pies traded a burst contested mid three years earlier at his request.

That mid was Nathan Freeman

Nathan Freeman is Keyser Soze
 

TradeDraft

Premium Platinum
Oct 18, 2009
146,694
73,913
Mornington Peninsula
AFL Club
Collingwood
Was convincing the AFL world that he didn’t matter, because all his wins were by less than two goals?

And like that, after three finals decided by a goal each, the Premiership Cup is gone…

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Sounds like Typical Collingwood.

I can see us winning Close games in Qualfiying and Prelim Finals only to lose a Close Grand Final
 

Cyclops

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 25, 2001
10,395
6,628
Northern Suburbs
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
IOM Gyms, Preston Nth End
What the Royal Sampler is driving at is we could pull off something amazing here. We have the double chance, last time we had that we broke Richmond's 4peat. Epic stuff.

Id like to add we are in a win win scenario. This was a bottom 2 side in 2021 looking at a bottom 4 finish. Even if we straight set this thing its still a magnificent effort. Finals for the young blokes. Experience heaped on the galvanising wins weve already wrested.

And the nagging fear for Geelong. Theyre better than us. They proved it. They beat us? They are red hot favourites, they should. But if its close at 3/4 time, that doubt appears. The idea they might lose, that nagging fear, and the realisation we dont know how to choke, but they do...
 

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