Society/Culture What makes a man a man?

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Seeds

Hall of Famer
Sep 15, 2007
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What makes a man? Not physical man but cultural man. Its hard to describe but it feels like it does exist. So why dont we list the attributes or behaviours that make us feel more manly. Here are some of mine:


- taking a punch and getting up.
- realising I prefer a smoky whisky over conventional beer
- winning at sports (doesnt matter if its aussie rules or mixed netball)
- finishing adam smiths wealth of nations
- listening to heavy metal
- just not giving a sh*t about office politics
- watching rocky movies and war documentaries
- developing a theory on the meaning of life (man is a philosopher)
- helping your wife work through and rationally deal with all the tiny insiginficant things that happen to her that she considers a disaster (this is a daily problem).
- drving a car (cant explain this one)
- protecting my kids from a snake.



Now here are things that I would of thought would make me feel like a man but didnt

- smoking a cigarette (just made me feel stupid)
- sex. Something about the act of sex with a women that feels distinctly feminine- i enjoy it immensely but manly is not the term i would use to describe the overall experience. Perhaps its because it involves too much spooning, foreplay, french kissing, looking into each others eyes and cuddling. These more than ofset the parts of sex that do feel manly.
- wearing a suit and tie and fancy watch (again this feels feminine like im dressing up in bling and uncomfortable clothes to look attractive to the opposite sex).
- holding my child for the first time. Again it doesnt feel manly.


now over to you?
 

Ben The Donkey

Senior List
Aug 18, 2019
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Men are almost invariably required to conform to the expectations of women. A man wears the accouterments denoting his place in society and relative value. Men are naturally and traditionally social providers (the nature of society defines what form that provision will take, whether that be sword or briefcase), women nurture.

The modern world, where the traditional, social definitions of female and male are becoming increasingly blurred, is in the throes of cultural entropy and displaying the symptoms of progressive androgyny.

Humanity, in the West at least, is in the process of transition. Hence the confusion.
 

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Pie eyed

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Jun 26, 2007
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What makes a man? Not physical man but cultural man. Its hard to describe but it feels like it does exist. So why dont we list the attributes or behaviours that make us feel more manly. Here are some of mine:


- taking a punch and getting up.
- realising I prefer a smoky whisky over conventional beer
- winning at sports (doesnt matter if its aussie rules or mixed netball)
- finishing adam smiths wealth of nations
- listening to heavy metal
- just not giving a sh*t about office politics
- watching rocky movies and war documentaries
- developing a theory on the meaning of life (man is a philosopher)
- helping your wife work through and rationally deal with all the tiny insiginficant things that happen to her that she considers a disaster (this is a daily problem).
- drving a car (cant explain this one)
- protecting my kids from a snake.



Now here are things that I would of thought would make me feel like a man but didnt

- smoking a cigarette (just made me feel stupid)
- sex. Something about the act of sex with a women that feels distinctly feminine- i enjoy it immensely but manly is not the term i would use to describe the overall experience. Perhaps its because it involves too much spooning, foreplay, french kissing, looking into each others eyes and cuddling. These more than ofset the parts of sex that do feel manly.
- wearing a suit and tie and fancy watch (again this feels feminine like im dressing up in bling and uncomfortable clothes to look attractive to the opposite sex).
- holding my child for the first time. Again it doesnt feel manly.


now over to you?
I can only assume you are actually talking about what makes you feel more masculine, at least in the first list.
I can't associate with many of the points you listed.

- taking a punch and getting up. To an extent it makes me feel more adequate that I can survive in a physical confrontation. I can't say it makes me more manly, but certainly more self confident.
- realising I prefer a smoky whisky over conventional beer. Totally irrelevant.
- winning at sports (doesnt matter if its aussie rules or mixed netball) Totally irrelevant
- finishing adam smiths wealth of nations "Can't even be bothered googling who this is" irrelevance.
- listening to heavy metal Numbingly irrelevant.
- just not giving a sh*t about office politics. Not even sure how this got on the list
- watching rocky movies and war documentaries See both of the above.
- developing a theory on the meaning of life (man is a philosopher) Obviously not, see both your lists in their entirety.
- helping your wife work through and rationally deal with all the tiny insiginficant things that happen to her that she considers a disaster (this is a daily problem). Self agrandising Mysoginist lunacy at best.
- drving a car (cant explain this one)...Huh!
- protecting my kids from a snake. Protecting my kids from danger, snakes included, makes me feel like a good parent, I expect my wife, who is not a man, to do the same.


Your second list is not even worthy of comment.

Are you OK!

I feel I need to ask you this.
 

Evolved1

I don't care about your problem(s)
Jun 14, 2013
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Doing whatever the fu** makes you happy is enough. If that's being pegged by a midget, drinking cold VB, driving a prius, having a good family life, trolling online, climbing the corporate ladder, singing songs about imaginary beings, ******* 3 chicks at a time, supporting Carlton, or voting for Pauline Hanson, enjoying the freedom to be yourself without making excuses for it is what defines the epitome of masculinity to me.
 

Evolved1

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No, I just forgot where I was for a moment.
We all work within the confines of our environment. Consider it a lapse in judgement.
No you didn't. That passive aggressive sh*t is probably the reason you struggle with women.
 

Seeds

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Sep 15, 2007
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Doing whatever the fu** makes you happy is enough. If that's being pegged by a midget, drinking cold VB, driving a prius, having a good family life, trolling online, climbing the corporate ladder, singing songs about imaginary beings, ******* 3 chicks at a time, supporting Carlton, or voting for Pauline Hanson, enjoying the freedom to be yourself without making excuses for it is what defines the epitome of masculinity to me.
hmmm that simplifies the definition enormously. masculinity is derived by the average things that make men happy. as long as there is a difference between the average thing that makes men happy and the average things that make women happy then masculinity exists. If not it doesnt. So what makes you happy?
 
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Seeds

Hall of Famer
Sep 15, 2007
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Men are almost invariably required to conform to the expectations of women. A man wears the accouterments denoting his place in society and relative value. Men are naturally and traditionally social providers (the nature of society defines what form that provision will take, whether that be sword or briefcase), women nurture.

The modern world, where the traditional, social definitions of female and male are becoming increasingly blurred, is in the throes of cultural entropy and displaying the symptoms of progressive androgyny.

Humanity, in the West at least, is in the process of transition. Hence the confusion.
Ive always found that womem are desperate for their male partners to nuture them. They need to be held. They need to be almost comstantly told they are safe, they are pretty, they are doing well and they are right. Nuturing is a big part of masculinity.
 

Seeds

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Sep 15, 2007
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I can only assume you are actually talking about what makes you feel more masculine, at least in the first list.
I can't associate with many of the points you listed.

- taking a punch and getting up. To an extent it makes me feel more adequate that I can survive in a physical confrontation. I can't say it makes me more manly, but certainly more self confident.
- realising I prefer a smoky whisky over conventional beer. Totally irrelevant.
- winning at sports (doesnt matter if its aussie rules or mixed netball) Totally irrelevant
- finishing adam smiths wealth of nations "Can't even be bothered googling who this is" irrelevance.
- listening to heavy metal Numbingly irrelevant.
- just not giving a sh*t about office politics. Not even sure how this got on the list
- watching rocky movies and war documentaries See both of the above.
- developing a theory on the meaning of life (man is a philosopher) Obviously not, see both your lists in their entirety.
- helping your wife work through and rationally deal with all the tiny insiginficant things that happen to her that she considers a disaster (this is a daily problem). Self agrandising Mysoginist lunacy at best.
- drving a car (cant explain this one)...Huh!
- protecting my kids from a snake. Protecting my kids from danger, snakes included, makes me feel like a good parent, I expect my wife, who is not a man, to do the same.


Your second list is not even worthy of comment.

Are you OK!

I feel I need to ask you this.
I think you need to provide your own definition first before you respond to the points in the way that you have. "Totally irrelevant" can only be an answer in response to a definition which you have not provided. Whats yours?
 

RobbieK

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Aug 20, 2009
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What makes a man? Not physical man but cultural man. Its hard to describe but it feels like it does exist. So why dont we list the attributes or behaviours that make us feel more manly. Here are some of mine:


- taking a punch and getting up.
- realising I prefer a smoky whisky over conventional beer
- winning at sports (doesnt matter if its aussie rules or mixed netball)
- finishing adam smiths wealth of nations
- listening to heavy metal
- just not giving a sh*t about office politics
- watching rocky movies and war documentaries
- developing a theory on the meaning of life (man is a philosopher)
- helping your wife work through and rationally deal with all the tiny insiginficant things that happen to her that she considers a disaster (this is a daily problem).
- drving a car (cant explain this one)
- protecting my kids from a snake.



Now here are things that I would of thought would make me feel like a man but didnt

- smoking a cigarette (just made me feel stupid)
- sex. Something about the act of sex with a women that feels distinctly feminine- i enjoy it immensely but manly is not the term i would use to describe the overall experience. Perhaps its because it involves too much spooning, foreplay, french kissing, looking into each others eyes and cuddling. These more than ofset the parts of sex that do feel manly.
- wearing a suit and tie and fancy watch (again this feels feminine like im dressing up in bling and uncomfortable clothes to look attractive to the opposite sex).
- holding my child for the first time. Again it doesnt feel manly.


now over to you?
Why do you care about feeling manly or performing masculinity?

I read your list and most of it reinforces my own feeling, which is that I couldn't give a sh*t if the things I enjoy conform to or transgress traditional gender roles.
 

Evolved1

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Jun 14, 2013
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hmmm that simplifies the definition enormously. masculinity is derived by the average things that make men happy. as long as there is a difference between the average thing that makes men happy and the average things that make women happy then masculinity exists. If not it doesnt. So what makes you happy?
The pursuit of truth, freedom, and success bring me the most joy, especially when my children are involved. Few things bring me the same level of joy as seeing my kids win an academic award or a sporting medal.

Those are bigger picture things. Small things like going to the beach, listening to people share their wisdom, drinking a corona with a slice of lemon, or laughing at a joke make me happy too.

What makes you happy?
 

Toump Ass

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Jun 14, 2015
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Some of mine:

- Starting fights
- Winnie Reds & Jimmy Beam straight out of the bottle
- Winning at anything; and if I don't win, I'm starting a fight and winning that.
- Picture magazine (RIP)
- Foo fighters on the radio
- Driving a truck
- Using 150 litres of fuel to barbecue a sausage
- Farts that make people around me dry retch
- Taking a sh*t and making the toilet uninhabitable by any living organism for the following twelve hours
- fu** politics. I vote Pauline Hanson.
- Steak and potatoes served by the wife.
- Banging the side-b*tch and telling her to fu** off when she words at me
- Losing half my wage at the TAB
- not knowing what an Adam Smith Wealth of Nations is
- Fresh linen

...Here are some of mine
Woman, yes?
 

Evolved1

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Jun 14, 2013
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Some of mine:

- Starting fights
- Winnie Reds & Jimmy Beam straight out of the bottle
- Winning at anything; and if I don't win, I'm starting a fight and winning that.
- Picture magazine (RIP)
- Foo fighters on the radio
- Driving a truck
- Using 150 litres of fuel to barbecue a sausage
- Farts that make people around me dry retch
- Taking a sh*t and making the toilet uninhabitable by any living organism for the following twelve hours
- fu** politics. I vote Pauline Hanson.
- Steak and potatoes served by the wife.
- Banging the side-b*tch and telling her to fu** off when she words at me
- Losing half my wage at the TAB
- not knowing what an Adam Smith Wealth of Nations is
- Fresh linen

Woman, yes?
I speed in hope that a HWP woman will cuff me, take me to a cell, and abuse me.

She's driving a V8 in my fantasy, not one of those hyundai SUV shitboxes I see the coppers driving around in now. If V8's are out of vogue, an environmentally friendly STI will suffice.
 

Seeds

Hall of Famer
Sep 15, 2007
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The pursuit of truth, freedom, and success bring me the most joy, especially when my children are involved. Few things bring me the same level of joy as seeing my kids win an academic award or a sporting medal.

Those are bigger picture things. Small things like going to the beach, listening to people share their wisdom, drinking a corona with a slice of lemon, or laughing at a joke make me happy too.

What makes you happy?
I agree a corona has to have a slice of lemon in it.
 

Seeds

Hall of Famer
Sep 15, 2007
39,812
35,680
I don't know
AFL Club
Geelong
Some of mine:

- Starting fights
- Winnie Reds & Jimmy Beam straight out of the bottle
- Winning at anything; and if I don't win, I'm starting a fight and winning that.
- Picture magazine (RIP)
- Foo fighters on the radio
- Driving a truck
- Using 150 litres of fuel to barbecue a sausage
- Farts that make people around me dry retch
- Taking a sh*t and making the toilet uninhabitable by any living organism for the following twelve hours
- fu** politics. I vote Pauline Hanson.
- Steak and potatoes served by the wife.
- Banging the side-b*tch and telling her to fu** off when she words at me
- Losing half my wage at the TAB
- not knowing what an Adam Smith Wealth of Nations is
- Fresh linen

Woman, yes?
Foo fighters and jim beam??

soft

my brother loves that sh** and he is literally terrified of me. Like a piglet cowering in a tea cup. And if you are having a barbecue then the sausages are for the kids. A rump steak or a pig on a spit is how you barbecue.

and what the f*** is the fresh linen comment about? woman, yes?
 

ShanDog

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Aug 12, 2012
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An exhaustive list of what makes a man a man:
1. Being of the male sex of species homo sapien.

An exhaustive list of what makes a man a good/ideal man:
1. Being physically strong
2. Standing up for what you believe
3. Always being interested in learning
4. A certain degree of stoicism in the face of adversity
5. Treating others the way you would like to be treated
6. Having a hobby you are passionate about
7. Respecting the past without being beholden to it
8. Always being on guard against letting hubris bring you down
9. Compassion for those who aren't as fortunate as you
10. Raising your children to observe the above.

(Note: the above ten points are not exclusively male attributes)

These lists are definitively true and if you disagree, you are wrong.
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