- Dec 17, 2006
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There are many wonderful animals in the zoological kingdom, but it would absolutely suck to be born some of them. Which animals would you least like to be? Here are some of mine:
Male Redback Spider - The male redback spider has a short life. He looks for a female redback to mate with, he mates with her and then his life is over, killed and consumed by the female after coitus. Maybe the male redback spiders should take assertiveness and survival training from male funnel-web spiders, which are the among the biggest, meanest and most venomous spiders in the world?
Wildebeest - Maybe I've watched too many African wildlife documentaries but of all the herbivores on the plains, the wildebeest seem the worst equipped to cope with the many predators and are little more than cannon-fodder for lions, hyenas, crocodiles and leopards. Other grazing animals - antelopes, zebras, giraffes & buffalos - seem to have speed and weapons on their side, but not the wildebeest.
Koala - Sure koalas are cute and iconic, but I would not want to be a koala. Spending my life in a gum tree sleeping 18 or 19 hours a day is not my idea of fun. Having a diet only of eucalyptus leaves - bitter, poisonous and very low in nutrients and a major reason for sleeping most of the day - is not something I would like. But it only gets worse. In order to digest eucalyptus leaves koalas require a certain type of bacteria in their stomach, something they are not born with. So to get the bacteria, weaning koala joeys have to eat their own mother's feces to enable them to progress to eating eucalyptus leaves as adults. I hope you weren't eating when you read this!
Male Redback Spider - The male redback spider has a short life. He looks for a female redback to mate with, he mates with her and then his life is over, killed and consumed by the female after coitus. Maybe the male redback spiders should take assertiveness and survival training from male funnel-web spiders, which are the among the biggest, meanest and most venomous spiders in the world?
Wildebeest - Maybe I've watched too many African wildlife documentaries but of all the herbivores on the plains, the wildebeest seem the worst equipped to cope with the many predators and are little more than cannon-fodder for lions, hyenas, crocodiles and leopards. Other grazing animals - antelopes, zebras, giraffes & buffalos - seem to have speed and weapons on their side, but not the wildebeest.
Koala - Sure koalas are cute and iconic, but I would not want to be a koala. Spending my life in a gum tree sleeping 18 or 19 hours a day is not my idea of fun. Having a diet only of eucalyptus leaves - bitter, poisonous and very low in nutrients and a major reason for sleeping most of the day - is not something I would like. But it only gets worse. In order to digest eucalyptus leaves koalas require a certain type of bacteria in their stomach, something they are not born with. So to get the bacteria, weaning koala joeys have to eat their own mother's feces to enable them to progress to eating eucalyptus leaves as adults. I hope you weren't eating when you read this!