Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[sr36]

Well time. They are an absolute embarrassment. Whipped anything and sundry season long, never whipped the lead horse, not once. Got carried, dragged really, over the line by the accurate whipping of the appropriate whipping boy, the rest was just random noise. All this has left them feeling rather useless and so they carry on like headless chooks about nothing as if that was the purpose of this thread. Well chooks, the purpose was to win the flag, not rattle on. We won the flag. Wasn't because Darcy changed his haircut, was because the whole team realised WHE getting a flogging every week was their fault and they pulled their finger out. End it now, jmac, end the misery.

Here are the whipping thread achievements over the last two years:

Year 1
The woke: gone
The Browns: gone
The Madge: gone
A few other blokes who were too useless to remember: gone

Year 2
The lairy haired flog: gone
The butcher: gone
Treys mum: gone
Some other spuds: gone

Meanwhile you've devoted your entire time to whipping a squib and you were too useless to get him off the list. We gave you one ficking job...

 

[jmac70]

Well time. They are an absolute embarrassment. Whipped anything and sundry season long, never whipped the lead horse, not once. Got carried, dragged really, over the line by the accurate whipping of the appropriate whipping boy, the rest was just random noise. All this has left them feeling rather useless and so they carry on like headless chooks about nothing as if that was the purpose of this thread. Well chooks, the purpose was to win the flag, not rattle on. We won the flag. Wasn't because Darcy changed his haircut, was because the whole team realised WHE getting a flogging every week was their fault and they pulled their finger out. End it now, jmac, end the misery.

You are wise No Idea.
I pass the mantle of whip master to you.
I am retired

 

[jmac70]

Mark, you are a beacon. May you always light the way

 

[Vicky Park]

There's a whole lot of duds training with us who weren't good enough to be drafted - not even by WCE. If any of them make the list, I'm going to shred them.

There is one problem at the club.

Derek Hine.

Now I’ve been reading the training and drafting threads (I get them mixed up) and I’ve deduced from those threads that Derek has somehow failed to find a 200 cm KPF to invite to Victoria Park for Xmas drinks.

Apparently the state leagues and the leagues beneath the state leagues and the leagues beneath those leagues…you get the drift…are teeming with these types who are all better than Cameron and Lynch and Naughton. But Derek steadfastly refuses to invite them to the club for Xmas cake and a hug from Fly.

Our back-to-back campaign is doomed.

 

[sr36]

There is one problem at the club.

Derek Hine.

Now I’ve been reading the training and drafting threads (I get them mixed up) and I’ve deduced from those threads that Derek has somehow failed to find a 200 cm KPF to invite to Victoria Park for Xmas drinks.

Apparently the state leagues and the leagues beneath the state leagues and the leagues beneath those leagues…you get the drift…are teeming with these types who are all better than Cameron and Lynch and Naughton. But Derek steadfastly refuses to invite them to the club for Xmas cake and a hug from Fly.

Our back-to-back campaign is doomed.

Didn't read after the first sentence. Only one problem at the club?

Lippa, WHE, The Roo shooter, captain woke, Billy Frampton, Darcy Cameron...

 

[Markfs]

They are like pubic lice....you get rid of one or two at the end of one year, and you find a whole new batch the following year....

I was pleased to see SR's summary of the flotsam and jetsam that we've managed to skim off the list in the last couple of years. Imagine trying to win that premiership with the Madge blundering his way around the backline.

 

[Markfs]

There is one problem at the club.

Derek Hine.

Now I’ve been reading the training and drafting threads (I get them mixed up) and I’ve deduced from those threads that Derek has somehow failed to find a 200 cm KPF to invite to Victoria Park for Xmas drinks.

Apparently the state leagues and the leagues beneath the state leagues and the leagues beneath those leagues…you get the drift…are teeming with these types who are all better than Cameron and Lynch and Naughton. But Derek steadfastly refuses to invite them to the club for Xmas cake and a hug from Fly.

Our back-to-back campaign is doomed.

I think it's pretty simple for derek. Just get the best tall forward and sign him up for next year. That Curnoo kid looks a handy type. He's been polluted by carlton but he might be worth a 3 month contract. I'm sick of hearing excuses...

 

[Sea fog]

No matter how many you get rid of, more will emerge, that has been the rule at Pieland since time immemorial.

 

[jmac70]

To pass some time, here is a question for devotees of the whip.

Who is the player most deserving of the whip in all Collingwood history? For discussion purposes, the Blair cannot be considered.

My nomination - Jesse White

Jesse White

Age

36

Ht

196cm

Wt

102kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

10.3

3star

K

6.4

3star

HB

3.9

3star

M

4.0

4star

T

1.8

4star

G

1.2

4star

No current season stats available

D

6.8

2star

K

3.6

2star

HB

3.2

3star

M

2.6

3star

T

2.0

4star

G

0.4

3star

Able to induce some of the worst language I have ever heard at the footy.

 

[Vicky Park]

To pass some time, here is a question for devotees of the whip.

Who is the player most deserving of the whip in all Collingwood history? For discussion purposes, the Blair cannot be considered.

My nomination - Jesse White

Able to induce some of the worst language I have ever heard at the footy.

Chris Tarrant. No heart. Empty inside.

 

[Vicky Park]

To pass some time, here is a question for devotees of the whip.

Who is the player most deserving of the whip in all Collingwood history? For discussion purposes, the Blair cannot be considered.

My nomination - Jesse White

Able to induce some of the worst language I have ever heard at the footy.

Jordan Russell beats Jesse hands down for bad language and bad behaviour from fans.

I was a mod on here when Russell played for us, and I recall deleting death threats, vile things said about his family members, images of weapons to be used on him and the club if he ever played again.

It was a fun time.

 

[Markfs]

Jordan Russell beats Jesse hands down for bad language and bad behaviour from fans.

I was a mod on here when Russell played for us, and I recall deleting death threats, vile things said about his family members, images of weapons to be used on him and the club if he ever played again.

It was a fun time.

well he did play for carlton.....and actually failed there. What were they thinking?

I'd like to go back in time to Peter Eakins, who came from the state that I currently reside in. Peter was probably one of the first players "purchased" outside the usual recruiting "system" as it was at the time. You could say that he was a litmus test on whether people from outside the collingwood greater metropolitan area (country zones etc) had the ticker to play for the club. He was an unbelievable let-down. He was constantly injured and was shuffled into the back pocket to be hidden from view. He played in the losing grand final to carlton and then limped through the following two seasons.

His recruitment shattered the club. Let me quote collingwood forever....

"For while he played in a Grand Final in his debut season of 1970, and won the club’s best first-year player, the headlines that came with his recruitment as well as his lucrative contract deal sadly overshadowed his playing career.

Collingwood’s decision to chase the young defender “at all costs” alienated several established Magpies, most notably captain Des Tuddenham and star ruckman Len Thompson, who were earning less than the first-year recruit. Tuddenham and Thompson went “on strike” for three weeks during the 1970 preseason. They returned to the club for the start of the season, but the episode didn’t really end there. Divisions fuelled by the incident impacted on the club at the worst possible time.

None of that was Eakins’ fault, and his teammates came to warm to his bright, engaging personality, even if the circumstances surrounding his recruitment unwittingly changed the (club’s) entire player payment structure.

Eakins’ shock of blond hair helped him make an immediate impression when he launched himself as a teenager onto the Western Australian football scene in the mid-1960s. He was only 19 when selected for Subiaco’s senior side in the opening round of 1966. In 1969, playing for WA, he dominated the Australian National Football Carnival in Adelaide, becoming joint winner (with Graham Molloy) of the Tassie Medal for the best player of the carnival.

That sparked a frenzy of interest from Melbourne clubs. Collingwood had traditionally refused to engage in bidding wars when seeking recruits, but Tom Sherrin’s administration was determined to take a more modern approach and offered Eakins a $5000 signing on fee, as well as the promise of $5000 a year for three seasons – considerably more than what Tuddy was seeking at the same time.

The Magpies were desperate for a defender, with Richard Stremski’s book, Kill For Collingwoodsaying: “The (Tom) Sherrin administration was determined to secure him (Eakins) at any cost.”

Tuddenham and Thompson were so incensed by the club’s inability to meet their financial requests – and by the money Eakins was rumoured to be getting – that they briefly withdrew their services. While they had no personal resentment against Eakins – Tuddenham later called him “a terrific bloke” – the wedge between some of the players and the Sherrin administration would be an on-going issue.
"

Yeh, sure, it wasn't his fault but he didnt give back the cash.

Yeh, he was bright and engaging but he was completely devoid of any mongrel. Older pies will remember the stage play and then the film "The Club" about a high price recruit. Some may think that Williamson based it on phil carman but the play was already being staged in mid 1977, far too soon after the introduction of the fabulous one. Far more likely Eakins sparked the creative juices of Pie fan, Williamson.

Eakins went outside being the normal blair loser model. His appearance at Vic Park had a lasting effect on the club. He promised so much, took so much money, delivered so little and completely destroyed the fabric of collingwood at the time. That's about the most positive thing that I can say about him.

 

[sr36]

Jordan Russell beats Jesse hands down for bad language and bad behaviour from fans.

I was a mod on here when Russell played for us, and I recall deleting death threats, vile things said about his family members, images of weapons to be used on him and the club if he ever played again.

It was a fun time.

Is that serious?








I mean that you deleted them. We were so soft. No wonder we never won in that era.

 

[Vicky Park]

well he did play for carlton.....and actually failed there. What were they thinking?

I'd like to go back in time to Peter Eakins, who came from the state that I currently reside in. Peter was probably one of the first players "purchased" outside the usual recruiting "system" as it was at the time. You could say that he was a litmus test on whether people from outside the collingwood greater metropolitan area (country zones etc) had the ticker to play for the club. He was an unbelievable let-down. He was constantly injured and was shuffled into the back pocket to be hidden from view. He played in the losing grand final to carlton and then limped through the following two seasons.

His recruitment shattered the club. Let me quote collingwood forever....

"For while he played in a Grand Final in his debut season of 1970, and won the club’s best first-year player, the headlines that came with his recruitment as well as his lucrative contract deal sadly overshadowed his playing career.

Collingwood’s decision to chase the young defender “at all costs” alienated several established Magpies, most notably captain Des Tuddenham and star ruckman Len Thompson, who were earning less than the first-year recruit. Tuddenham and Thompson went “on strike” for three weeks during the 1970 preseason. They returned to the club for the start of the season, but the episode didn’t really end there. Divisions fuelled by the incident impacted on the club at the worst possible time.

None of that was Eakins’ fault, and his teammates came to warm to his bright, engaging personality, even if the circumstances surrounding his recruitment unwittingly changed the (club’s) entire player payment structure.

Eakins’ shock of blond hair helped him make an immediate impression when he launched himself as a teenager onto the Western Australian football scene in the mid-1960s. He was only 19 when selected for Subiaco’s senior side in the opening round of 1966. In 1969, playing for WA, he dominated the Australian National Football Carnival in Adelaide, becoming joint winner (with Graham Molloy) of the Tassie Medal for the best player of the carnival.

That sparked a frenzy of interest from Melbourne clubs. Collingwood had traditionally refused to engage in bidding wars when seeking recruits, but Tom Sherrin’s administration was determined to take a more modern approach and offered Eakins a $5000 signing on fee, as well as the promise of $5000 a year for three seasons – considerably more than what Tuddy was seeking at the same time.

The Magpies were desperate for a defender, with Richard Stremski’s book, Kill For Collingwoodsaying: “The (Tom) Sherrin administration was determined to secure him (Eakins) at any cost.”

Tuddenham and Thompson were so incensed by the club’s inability to meet their financial requests – and by the money Eakins was rumoured to be getting – that they briefly withdrew their services. While they had no personal resentment against Eakins – Tuddenham later called him “a terrific bloke” – the wedge between some of the players and the Sherrin administration would be an on-going issue.
"

Yeh, sure, it wasn't his fault but he didnt give back the cash.

Yeh, he was bright and engaging but he was completely devoid of any mongrel. Older pies will remember the stage play and then the film "The Club" about a high price recruit. Some may think that Williamson based it on phil carman but the play was already being staged in mid 1977, far too soon after the introduction of the fabulous one. Far more likely Eakins sparked the creative juices of Pie fan, Williamson.

Eakins went outside being the normal blair loser model. His appearance at Vic Park had a lasting effect on the club. He promised so much, took so much money, delivered so little and completely destroyed the fabric of collingwood at the time. That's about the most positive thing that I can say about him.

I can’t remember what Eakins looked like. Probably because, as you say, he had no mongrel. Tarrant also had no mongrel.

Tuddy, on the other hand, had mongrel.

 

[sr36]

Yes, surprising I know, being serious on this thread.

Sorry. I've edited my post. Accidentally pressed reply too early.

 

[Vicky Park]

I mean that you deleted them. We were so soft. No wonder we never won in that era.

I was a soft mod.

 

[sr36]

Ben Johnson. Might not have gotten the same hate as some. But it was a decade of phantom drafts saying:

Pick 94: Some Spud. A hard working back pocket who will be an immediate upgrade on Ben Johnson.

 

[Markfs]

I can’t remember what Eakins looked like. Probably because, as you say, he had no mongrel. Tarrant also had no mongrel.

Tuddy, on the other hand, had mongrel.

I couldnt put a face to a lot of players at the time. They were never close enough to me. I didnt have the connections to get near the players outside gameday so I was limited to knowing the high profile players that made it to "world of sport" on a sunday.

But I do remember the general discussion about how useless he was.....a waste of magpie money.... I remember that everyone saw the connection between his payment and agitation of thommo and tuddy....and let me tell you, they weren't too popular at the time.

He was 23 when he debuted, 189cm and 86 kgs..... a pretty big bloke in those days. He played like a wimp.

Here is his highlights package. You will note the comments about his hair.....yes his hair...the relationship between hair and wimpiness was evident even in those days...

 

[Markfs]

Mark, you are a beacon. May you always light the way

jmac you will always be our role model for ordinary people being in extraordinary situations and failing miserably.....I salute you.

 

[Vicky Park]

Here is his highlights package. You will note the comments about his hair.....yes his hair...the relationship between hair and wimpiness was evident even in those days...

I was an early adopter of recognising the connection between hair and footballing prowess.

I only needed one look at McCreery to know we had an animal on our hands.

 

[Markfs]

I was an early adopter of recognising the connection between hair and footballing prowess.

I only needed one look at McCreery to know we had an animal on our hands.

Beau is still young and trying to establish his mongrel credentials. As long as it doesnt interfere with his work, I'm happy to support him. On the other hand, someone like spud murphy pushing his hair around and fumbling for his headband tells me a lot of what he thinks about his footy. He has to accept that he is an unattractive lad who needs to attract women by being a better footballer with a higher salary. He only has to look sideways at Brazzybrazzabronski to see someone with a head like a robber's dog, who attracts admirers with his mongrel attitude...

 

[neilk]

To pass some time, here is a question for devotees of the whip.

Who is the player most deserving of the whip in all Collingwood history? For discussion purposes, the Blair cannot be considered.

My nomination - Jesse White

Able to induce some of the worst language I have ever heard at the footy.

I wasn't a critic, but Ryan Lonie used to cop a fair bit.

 

[sr36]

I wasn't a critic, but Ryan Lonie used to cop a fair bit.

This has to be @jmac70s worst idea ever - making us relive the trauma of all these disgraces to the jumper.

 

[Vicky Park]

This has to be @jmac70s worst idea ever - making us relive the trauma of all these disgraces to the jumper.

It’s the off season. We haven’t been able to do much whipping since the club surprised us all and won that flag thingy.

I think jmac was just trying to help us get through these arid months.

Maybe we should ask AI to name some of our historical spuds?

 

[Markfs]

I wasn't a critic, but Ryan Lonie used to cop a fair bit.

oh yeh....good call. The brisbane lions famously made fun of him as one of the most intimidating players in the league. I suppose you could say that was the first indication of michael voss's version of empathy....scratch the surface and a giant prick will appear.