Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

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Markfs

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Sydney Sweeney's Shaving Team...
Geeze we’ve lost some whippable players in recent times. Blair and Thomas gone. Brown brothers depart, the Madge no longer with us. Grundy and his bags of cash are out the door. Targets are thin.

I have a feeling big mcstay will be in line for a few if he doesn’t kick 100goals

Patience, grasshopper..... they will reveal themselves as the season progresses and then you'll wonder how you didnt see the signs pre-season.

Have you forgotten Ned the sequel? Evidently, he'll be doing odd jobs in dad's office on game days when he doesnt get a game in the VFL. As noidea reminds us constantly, the hyphen needs to be slaughtered, hung out and dried as early as possible so we can get a bloke in at the mid-season draft. Trent Bianco has been taking running lessons and has apparently lost a yard of pace. I know he's gone at the end of the year but we sill have to get the job done. But we shouldnt overlook the newbies and the regurgitated guys from other clubs. I think a lot of things will become clearer when we get into games proper.
 

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Markfs

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If they can get Trey Ruscoes meds right, he might improve enough to become a whipping boy.

You got me thinking about trey ruscoe....and i dont hold that against you.... but it really is a definition of wasting time. What does he actually bring to the team? He's not fast. We hear the news that the hyphen is going back to cover for daicos, so he's not considered a running half back. He's not considered a tall because we can all see the mad scramble to try to get key position players in. So is he a bruzzy stand-in? Not likely. He has none of the mongrel. In fact, he's a dead squib in that area. I have seen him desperately and madly pick up team-mates off the ground.....pullling them up in some crazy virtue signalling exercise that somehow he is a good team-mate. We do know that he's good for getting his mum's f** and a plagon....i dont know if those skills transfer to AFL. I am just wondering what the hell do you do with him? Do you sit him down on a couch to hide a stain in the fabric when you invite guests over? Is he good enough to be a list clogger? Is he part of an outreach program? I have no idea and he'll be gone by season's end so we can forget about him again.
 

Wearmouth

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Dec 3, 2017
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It might be a difficult judge at times.... lets say we're playing the demons and grundee is tapping the ball to us ( as he does ) and Mitchell is kicking it to the Demons ( as he does ).....we might be getting better value from the grundee dollar...

Depends on what exactly your dollar cost averaging formula is based upon.


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Wearmouth

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Geeze we’ve lost some whippable players in recent times. Blair and Thomas gone. Brown brothers depart, the Madge no longer with us. Grundy and his bags of cash are out the door. Targets are thin.

I have a feeling big mcstay will be in line for a few if he doesn’t kick 100goals

Surely one of the criteria for your Whipping should be an age limit. You can not be whipped under the Geneva Convention unless you are 25 years of age or over.


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Where would we be today if we'd traded Grundy for everything we could get, instead of giving him that big contract and kept Witts?
We'd probably still have Treloar.

Which is worse, kicking it to the opposition 15 times a game or hitting it to the opposition 30 times a game?
 

Markfs

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Depends on what exactly your dollar cost averaging formula is based upon.


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i think we'd have to agree to something like "metres lost" so that it could incorporate the misdirected grundee taps and the mitchell miskicks to opposition......although we would need to include something for marks dropped by grundee. I'm sure someone could design an app....
 

Markfs

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We'd probably still have Treloar.

Which is worse, kicking it to the opposition 15 times a game or hitting it to the opposition 30 times a game?

well thats another good point..... we'd need a more accurate measure like "accurate taps to disadvantage" and "accurate miskicks to the opposition".
 
What about the players and picks we could've got for Grundy when his stocks were high? Probably shouldn't torture myself with the "what ifs and if onlys"
This thread is about whipping players. If you want to whip or torture yourself in some kinky way, good luck to you. But while you're at it, slag off one of our spuds, squibs or wokes Like that whe bloke -if you can find him. During games, he's usually hiding in the bin behind the goals where they keep the extra footies.
 

noideaatall

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As for noidea, he was astute enough to conjure up an appropriate nick name for himself when he opened his account and then proceeded to forget it.....I found him sleeping on my porch this morning and I moved him on. ...
Couldn't have been me Markfs as I moved down to check out that large retirement village an hour south of Perth weeks back. You must have more fans. I slept in my swag on your front lawn anyway. Hate porches. As for my nick name, I haven't forgotten, the reason why I hang out in this thread is I believe I am a good fit with my fellow posters here.
Surely one of the criteria for your Whipping should be an age limit. You can not be whipped under the Geneva Convention unless you are 25 years of age or over.

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Hallelujah, a bloke with half a clue. This mob has whipping frenzy, if it moves whip it and if it doesn't whip it.
 

Sea fog

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Jun 24, 2012
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whiipping boy hair
Darcewillbus.png
 

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Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
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Sydney Sweeney's Shaving Team...
does ned the sequel get his hair curled somewhere in richmond? He also looks like he has gotten some filler into those lips...
 

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
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Sydney Sweeney's Shaving Team...
Couldn't have been me Markfs as I moved down to check out that large retirement village an hour south of Perth weeks back. You must have more fans. I slept in my swag on your front lawn anyway. Hate porches. As for my nick name, I haven't forgotten, the reason why I hang out in this thread is I believe I am a good fit with my fellow posters here.

Hallelujah, a bloke with half a clue. This mob has whipping frenzy, if it moves whip it and if it doesn't whip it.

i have fans right around the world.... i'm designing a religion for myself as we speak.... oh my mistake with the porch. That must be the bloke who has a land rights claim on my block...
 

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
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Sydney Sweeney's Shaving Team...
All six of them. They had another hiit… ( get up and boogie)…..another six words….

That’s economical … two hits and only twelve words needed. it’s the disco equivalent of making top four with 104%.

I think they were german. They only knew a few english words including stuff about red balloons. It's a german school thing...
 

Markfs

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Nov 13, 2008
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Sydney Sweeney's Shaving Team...
Looking at another thread about what team to field in round one, I noticed that little johnny noble had been left out. It's not the first time that he has been ignored hoping that he would simply clean out his locker and go home. It seems that north can get rid of their noble but we're struggling to do it.

We cant just leave this eyesore to remain in the team. He is not up to our standard. We've been saying that since he arrived and shocked us as to just uncool this guy was. And it doesnt matter how many hair makeovers he has and how many tatts he gets to cover his body.....he will never look like a Collingwood player.

If you can bring yourself to look, here is the little one with that other aberration....obviously prior to the visit to the richmond parlour to get the hair permed... Notice the ripped jeans on the little one.

I am begging the fly to end this now. Just clear out his locker and change the lock on the front door of the AMA Bisexual Centre. Just ignore him and he'll get it at some stage.....hopefully....and delist him and he might give up..... hopefully

1675907520839.png
 
Looking at another thread about what team to field in round one, I noticed that little johnny noble had been left out. It's not the first time that he has been ignored hoping that he would simply clean out his locker and go home. It seems that north can get rid of their noble but we're struggling to do it.

We cant just leave this eyesore to remain in the team. He is not up to our standard. We've been saying that since he arrived and shocked us as to just uncool this guy was. And it doesnt matter how many hair makeovers he has and how many tatts he gets to cover his body.....he will never look like a Collingwood player.

If you can bring yourself to look, here is the little one with that other aberration....obviously prior to the visit to the richmond parlour to get the hair permed... Notice the ripped jeans on the little one.

I am begging the fly to end this now. Just clear out his locker and change the lock on the front door of the AMA Bisexual Centre. Just ignore him and he'll get it at some stage.....hopefully....and delist him and he might give up..... hopefully

View attachment 1603265

We’ll never be rid of the one on the right, who never plays, because everyone is scared of his dad. Big Bad Craig Kelly. I’m scared just typing his name.

Becoming CEO of his son’s club was a clever move to bolster his son’s career. Although ‘bolster’ implies the existence of a career, and some of us doubt even that. Perhaps the new CEO can try and locate the career, as one of his first tasks at the AIAIAAI Centre. After he finishes scaring everyone.
 

Markfs

Brownlow Medallist
Nov 13, 2008
25,836
20,672
Fremantle
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Sydney Sweeney's Shaving Team...
We’ll never be rid of the one on the right, who never plays, because everyone is scared of his dad. Big Bad Craig Kelly. I’m scared just typing his name.

Becoming CEO of his son’s club was a clever move to bolster his son’s career. Although ‘bolster’ implies the existence of a career, and some of us doubt even that. Perhaps the new CEO can try and locate the career, as one of his first tasks at the AIAIAAI Centre. After he finishes scaring everyone.

yeh he's locked in. Did that renewed perm appear post-ned announcement? It might be ned jnr's middle finger to the masses that he is going nowhere for 5 years or more. And every photo of him that I see of him indicates to me that he's as thick as a brick and almost immune to whipping. It's very deflating....but we just have to accept that he fills the role of permanent list clogger. Derek has normally rotated that role...
 
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