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Who else does this?

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Pornstar

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When i get into the elevators at work and i see somebody running towards it as the doors start closing, i like to pretend that i am reaching out for the door open button so they can get in, but i really press the door close button so i get the elevator all to myself. Apart from enjoying the look of disappointment on the face of the person as the door closes before they can get in, it also gives me a bit of personal time which allows me to scratch my balls or release some gas.

Does anyone else do this or is it just me? (the door close thing, not the ball scratching/gas releasing)
 
Yeah, sometimes I do that. Other times I just stand there and make no attempt to do anything - I really can't be bothered.

Also, when I'm in the lift alone, I hold the close doors button the whole time, so it doesn't stop at any other floor and slow me down!!!


I used to be very polite, always holding open doors for people, but I've become sick of the rudeness shown by the majority, when they just waltz on through acting like I'm just one of their lackey's and they don't even say thank-you.
 

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Originally posted by kristin5
I used to be very polite, always holding open doors for people, but I've become sick of the rudeness shown by the majority, when they just waltz on through acting like I'm just one of their lackey's and they don't even say thank-you.
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Lift etiquette is pretty amusing - five guys will all stand back and let a woman enter first, and then they all jostle to be the next in. Bit sad when you think about it.

Hate lifts. Wouldn't use 'em at all, except that I'd have to take 30 flights of stairs to get a choc milk.
 
Where I work larger department store, which shall remain nameless we have two lifts. Break down frequently due to be old and ****. Although they can be forced open when they are stuck we never do. Great way to bludge off 2 hours 'stuck in the lift!'

And, yes, Im one of those bastards that a: Does what pornstar does and b: Lets a few silent one rip while the lift is fully capacity. :)
 
i usually open the door if i see the person running towards it. But i only do that if im near the door, if im not close to it i just dont bother.
 
A friend and I do a half riverdance, half clapping/stamping routine in the lifts at work (when there are no other inhabitants!!). On the odd ocassion that the lift stops at a floor short of our destination we tend to get strange looks from the people joining us - perhaps this is because they hear maniacal hoots and stomping that would make the Tap Dogs blush as the lift approaches their floor, only to see to statue like figures (staring into space) at opposite corners of the lift when the doors open.

We also make harp like noises with the small grill under the floor buttons....but that's another story
 

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GoEagle's Gripe:

At Uni in the library there are 6 levels. I really find it annoying when people use the lift for just one level, when the stairs are close by and not many to walk up/walk down. If your going down from the 6th floor and have to stop 5 times for one person to get off, it's really annoying!

In the lift it's always fun to try and turn off the light at the very top too :D
 
True story from the Sordid Mooster Files.

I was going to a department store to meet a girl friend (two words, this was a friend).

I get on the elevator by myself and let loose with two or three really big ones. I couldn't hardly stand it myself, and they were mine (the true measure of whether you did it right).

At the next floor the elevator stops and a really good-looking girl steps on. From the look on her face, I could tell her nose was in perfect working order. Aside from her, I was the only one in there so it was obvious I was the rotten scoundrel. Normally, I would have made the attempt to get her number or something - no chance. I just started laughing. She shot me a dirty look, but I didn't care. I had already wrote this one off.

Being the early guy I am, I had some time to kill before I was to meet up with my girl friend. I shopped around a bit, and at the appropriate time and place, made the meet.

My girl friend says, "I have a surprise for you. I want you to meet my friend Christie. You two would be perfect for each other." Christie and I both laughed and said, "I dont' think so." Christie (as you probably guessed) was the elevator girl.

A few months later, she and I did go out a couple of times. I always make it a point to break wind on her. In the end - as you can imagine - she's just a girl friend as well.

This has been Sordid Mooster File # 10-July-2001
 
Originally posted by Mooster7
True story from the Sordid Mooster Files.

I was going to a department store to meet a girl friend (two words, this was a friend).

I get on the elevator by myself and let loose with two or three really big ones. I couldn't hardly stand it myself, and they were mine (the true measure of whether you did it right).

At the next floor the elevator stops and a really good-looking girl steps on. From the look on her face, I could tell her nose was in perfect working order. Aside from her, I was the only one in there so it was obvious I was the rotten scoundrel. Normally, I would have made the attempt to get her number or something - no chance. I just started laughing. She shot me a dirty look, but I didn't care. I had already wrote this one off.

Being the early guy I am, I had some time to kill before I was to meet up with my girl friend. I shopped around a bit, and at the appropriate time and place, made the meet.

My girl friend says, "I have a surprise for you. I want you to meet my friend Christie. You two would be perfect for each other." Christie and I both laughed and said, "I dont' think so." Christie (as you probably guessed) was the elevator girl.

A few months later, she and I did go out a couple of times. I always make it a point to break wind on her. In the end - as you can imagine - she's just a girl friend as well.

This has been Sordid Mooster File # 10-July-2001
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LOL Mooster, you're such an original. :D
 

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