Who would win?

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Virgin Dog

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 29, 2017
7,135
13,762
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Five AFL players of your choice vs a grizzly bear.
Pick the players, also I'm pretty sure the bear will still win.
Toby Greene to blind the bear early, giving an important tactical advantage.
Joel Selwood as the sacrificial lamb. He's tough enough to last more than a couple seconds, and bleeds when you just look at him, so makes a juicy early target for the bear.
Ben Cunnington and Nic Naitanui because the dudes are absolute units, and you can't have guys getting torn to shreds in half a second. Need to tank it a little while dealing some damage themselves.
Finally, I'm going with ex-player Barry Hall to deal the knockout blow.
 

pulpdriver

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 17, 2009
15,220
21,377
Melbourne
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Toby Greene to blind the bear early, giving an important tactical advantage.
Joel Selwood as the sacrificial lamb. He's tough enough to last more than a couple seconds, and bleeds when you just look at him, so makes a juicy early target for the bear.
Ben Cunnington and Nic Naitanui because the dudes are absolute units, and you can't have guys getting torn to shreds in half a second. Need to tank it a little while dealing some damage themselves.
Finally, I'm going with ex-player Barry Hall to deal the knockout blow.
I'd take Tony Liberatore to be the bait but would go for four tanks; Barry Hall, Fraser Gehrig, Jonathon Brown and Nic Nat for my tanks. Libba distracts, rest attacks and hopes for best.
 

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Square Peg

Premiership Player
Jul 20, 2014
4,750
10,216
Fremantle WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
You only need two, Paul Salmon to swim upstream and distract it as the food decoy whilst Andrew Gaff king hits the unsuspecting bastard on the jaw. Trev Nisbett then arrives to roll out the spin and claim the bear was playing golf with the eagles boys the next week.
 

Virgin Dog

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 29, 2017
7,135
13,762
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
I'd take Tony Liberatore to be the bait but would go for four tanks; Barry Hall, Fraser Gehrig, Jonathon Brown and Nic Nat for my tanks. Libba distracts, rest attacks and hopes for best.
Starting to mull over this a bit more. Might need to sub out Cunnington for Darren Collins (jailed for life - murder). Wonder what kind of damage Lethal could've done too if given the chance.

If we're employing more advanced tactics, there's also the option of recruiting Wayne Carey to seduce the bear's wife (or Jake Stringer if he has a teenage daughter bear), distracting him long enough for big Bazza to deliver the left-right-goodnight.
 

Metalcrusher

Bush Chook
Jan 22, 2015
24,194
54,769
Kalgoorlie
AFL Club
Carlton
Other Teams
Blackburn United EPL ... sorta
Joel Selwood, he would duck any attacks. The bear would rage, whinge to parks and wildlife, who would issue the Bear with an infringement notice and relocate him to his correct habitat.
 

GoldenMagpie16

All Australian
May 29, 2016
728
872
AFL Club
Collingwood
Brayden Sier
 

RUNVS

Hall of Famer
Feb 28, 2007
39,521
42,394
Sydney
AFL Club
Sydney
What if the players in question are given an hour to make weapons before they are attacked by the bear? Then you want some players that are smart as well as strong.