Why are men so much more promiscuous than women?

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Lethality

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We are told that women enjoy sex as much as men, yet it's mostly men who employ prostitutes, and men will sleep with anyone reasonably attractive, internet porn is mostly for men, although the balance is shifting a bit.

I guess women probably buy more sex toys, but that balance has probably shifted too.
 

kickazz

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It's all about biology and the purpose of sex/reproduction: To propagate our genetic material.

Women can really only have, broadly speaking, one child a year. So if they want that child (and that child's child, etc) to survive and propagate its genetic material, then some quality genes on the part of the father is paramount. You don't want your one kid for the year to be a dud. Having him stick around and provide is also important. In short, women need quality partners.

Men on the other hand, well the sky is the limit almost as to how many children they can father in a given year. So they genetically are predisposed to go down the "quantity" path. Have sex with as many partners as possible, and as such father as many children as possible. Quality partners still matter, but not as much, as you are bound to get some "bullseye" offspring if you have enough throws at the dartboard.

It flows (and is shown to a degree in history) that the optimum situation for the species is that most women mate, but only a very select ("alpha" if you will) group of males mate. The males fight among each other (be it literally in wars or via being a better provider) for the right to mate. The bottom 80% of men are essentially expendable.

That is the natural order of things. As a society we have transcended our base biology and have found the benefits of monogamous relationships - one of the key ones being is that it massively improves the participation rates (ie, ability to make a positive contribution) of men in society, leading to greater wellbeing across the board.
 

Lethality

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It's all about biology and the purpose of sex/reproduction: To propagate our genetic material.

Women can really only have, broadly speaking, one child a year. So if they want that child (and that child's child, etc) to survive and propagate its genetic material, then some quality genes on the part of the father is paramount. You don't want your one kid for the year to be a dud. Having him stick around and provide is also important. In short, women need quality partners.

Men on the other hand, well the sky is the limit almost as to how many children they can father in a given year. So they genetically are predisposed to go down the "quantity" path. Have sex with as many partners as possible, and as such father as many children as possible. Quality partners still matter, but not as much, as you are bound to get some "bullseye" offspring if you have enough throws at the dartboard.

It flows (and is shown to a degree in history) that the optimum situation for the species is that most women mate, but only a very select ("alpha" if you will) group of males mate. The males fight among each other (be it literally in wars or via being a better provider) for the right to mate. The bottom 80% of men are essentially expendable.

That is the natural order of things. As a society we have transcended our base biology and have found the benefits of monogamous relationships - one of the key ones being is that it massively improves the participation rates (ie, ability to make a positive contribution) of men in society, leading to greater wellbeing across the board.
How does this quantity predisposition manifest itself in male biology?
 

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Lethality

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By not being the one who gets pregnant, but who can make others (many others) get pregnant.
Millions of sperm per day vs one ovum per month.
How does that make men more promiscuous?
 

Golden_6

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How does that make men more promiscuous?
I wouldn't say that at all. Women likely crave sex just as much as men. The major difference is that a female would prefer to do this with one person generally speaking, whereas a man would prefer to do it with many different women. This could come down to social stigma as much as anything.
 

Shell

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We are told that women enjoy sex as much as men, yet it's mostly men who employ prostitutes, and men will sleep with anyone reasonably attractive, internet porn is mostly for men, although the balance is shifting a bit.

I guess women probably buy more sex toys, but that balance has probably shifted too.
Can only speak for myself- but I have hired escorts in the past (men and women) so that is kind of a blanket statement right there.

Porn is also fantastic. Who doesnt like porn??



Some generalizations up in here, and I kinda fail to see the point of the question tbh.
 

Shell

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I wouldn't say that at all. Women likely crave sex just as much as men. The major difference is that a female would prefer to do this with one person generally speaking, whereas a man would prefer to do it with many different women. This could come down to social stigma as much as anything.

I've been to a private all girls party. Also looking into a male/female party... and i would like to be married one day- in an open marriage.

Yeah, sure, some women are monogamous to the one man their whole life. Good for them.

fu** that from my POV. As long as its all open, honest, consensual + safe- I would not want to be "stuck with" the one man my entire life. And obviously vice versa would apply for him.
 

Lethality

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Lol again wth.

I have exactly one vibrator- and thats it. LOL.. sex toys are actually really expensive.
You're just one person though, I'm talking about averages over large populations of men and women.
 

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Catfish Alley

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Yeah, I'm not sure they are to be honest. Takes two to tango as they say. If guy is being promiscuous there are obviously women willing to join. In general they say women prefer to have an emotional connection. Some don't. I'm a guy and I do. Meh, it's not a thing that's uniform across the sexes.
 

kickazz

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Are they? I know lots of dudes that are rarely sexually active and most female friends are constantly dating. The top end of desirable men make up the majority of the numbers but anecdotally the average woman is far more promiscuous than the average man these days.
Yeah I'd say there are more sexually active women than men. A small percentage of men would have many more partners and many having zero.

Again, this is based in biology but as I alluded to before and others have mentioned humans have started to transcend this. And it's a generalisation, but, well, generalisations tend to be true in a general sense.
 

Lethality

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*yet you offer no actual stats or evidence.

Just... statements.
Yeah just perceptions. Although you could back that up by looking at the numbers on dating sites for example
 

kickazz

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Yeah just perceptions. Although you could back that up by looking at the numbers on dating sites for example
I heard someone who ran a speed dating operation say that at the end when people wrote down or ticked who they wanted to maybe see again, guys would often pick everyone or almost everyone; whereas girls would pick 2 or 3 max.
 

Taylor

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I heard someone who ran a speed dating operation say that at the end when people wrote down or ticked who they wanted to maybe see again, guys would often pick everyone or almost everyone; whereas girls would pick 2 or 3 max.
I heard of an OkCupid survey that had site users rate the people they saw. Men ranked the women they saw as average to above average. Women ranked the men they saw as below average to average.
 

Coolangatta

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I've read quite a chunk of anecdotal evidence from Reddit, online friends, and elsewhere about women who have had many sex partners, open marriages, affairs, polyamorous relationships, threesomes, orgies, you name it. Women in good relationships but go chasing after the donkey dick thinking they're in love with the person who makes them orgasm even if they're toxic, stuff like that. As one of the other posters mentioned, it takes two to tango. These sleazebag politicians having affairs with young staffers and journos can't have them without a willing participant unless it's non-consensual, and as we've been seeing unfold... but that's another subject.
 

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You're hunters, predators.

You're also disposable.
Ruthless lol. I think as a whole we’re about the same as women on sex drive, sometimes in the male bravado world blokes will speak about it heaps when in actuality they might not really care that much....It’s probably the reverse (Don’t know for certain) for women, some might not overtly speak about it, but deep down (no pun intended) they might really crave sex regularly.
 

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Societal pressure. Not just presently but throughout history. If you look back into records from ancient times, men are cited as having many wives whereas you never hear of women having multiple husbands. And typically (unfairly) that's used as justification.

Based on people I know, both men and women, I don't think men are necessarily more promiscuous but are way more open about it. I have a friend who has been with something like 35 guys (total, not all at once), and before I knew I would have guessed maybe 1/5 that many. Meanwhile I've been with two women total and am totally okay with that.

The testosterone molecule citation above also plays into it. I know a woman who has to have a steroid injection every so often for some medical conditions and when she gets it, she wants to get it on.

I've been to a private all girls party. Also looking into a male/female party... and i would like to be married one day- in an open marriage.

Yeah, sure, some women are monogamous to the one man their whole life. Good for them.

fu** that from my POV. As long as its all open, honest, consensual + safe- I would not want to be "stuck with" the one man my entire life. And obviously vice versa would apply for him.
Good for you! It works for some people and doesn't for others. My wife and I have been polyamorous-with-boundaries for close to three years now and things are going quite well. And I also know plenty who say they would never consider it.

Bone who you wanna bone (provided it's mutually consensual and legal).
 

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