Why don't men look as good as they did decades ago?

[peasantbruh69]

Pretty much all the guys I know who are having regular sex are either in the jacked with tats crowd or those in a relationship. Most guys don't put any effort into getting girls because it is much easier to stay home and wank than trying to talk to a girl and possibly dealing with rejection.

 

[Perth gal]

I think both sexes are getting increasingly scared or cautious around the opposite sex as there are so many people out there treating others like a usable commodity.

 

[Silent Alarm]

I think both sexes are getting increasingly scared or cautious around the opposite sex as there are so many people out there treating others like a usable commodity.

I really don't think that's the case...

People have had one night stands for centuries and young people aren't worried about some cute girl/guy they meet in line for a club 'commodifying' them.

Nah won't say hi back to her, she might commodify me... and just root me once! * her!

 

[Perth gal]

Wasn’t really talking about this situation though, more the fear of getting into a relationship and getting hurt.

 

[Silent Alarm]

Wasn’t really talking about this situation though, more the fear of getting into a relationship and getting hurt.

I don't think that's the case either. I'm a young person – have been for a while! – and it doesn't seem a genuine issue amongst anyone other than chicks posting inspirational quotes with stars in the background on instagram.

IMO the issue is girls are less open to guys coming up with a cold open. Unless he's ludicrously alluring, they're just going to wait until that ludicrously alluring bloke comes. High expectation fed from non-stop cultural enforcements of how 'omg fnk stop! sexy!' they think they are. Chicks upping one another on social media only happens so they can get the same thing back. Feedback loop of high opinions.

Blokes meanwhile probably think a bit of the same. All they do is follow bimbos with trim bodies who probably go yachting in Greece with oil baron's sons. They think that's what all girls look like and what all girls are and should be, and that they too should get a piece of it. But more than anything they're timid and scared of just plain old rejection. Too much risk for that unlikely reward, basically.

 

[Jobe Watson]

Tinder has made things so much worse. Every average girl thinks they are deserving of some 6'4 ripped millionaire and will dismiss almost anyone who doesn't fit the mould. Average-looking guys who could win girls over with humour and charisma can't even get their foot in the door anymore... they just get swiped left, never to be seen again. Guys are far less picky because they usually have far fewer options.

 

[craigos]

The way I see it is young guys are going after a certain type (the Insta girl who sticks her chest out when posing with the Nonna) and that type goes after a certain type (the jacked guy). Hence they feel like every girl is that type.

I can tell you that the amount of girls who only want a jacked guy would be less than 50%, probably even as low as 5%, I don't know. For all the young men proclaiming that girls only want buff guys, can guarantee they are saying they only want to date a chick with a phat arse and big ****.

I had always thought I'd end up with a shy and quiet accountant type but ended up with an outgoing model/triathlete so to say you're only ever going after one type then you're crazy.

 

[Perth gal]

I don't think that's the case either. I'm a young person – have been for a while! – and it doesn't seem a genuine issue amongst anyone other than chicks posting inspirational quotes with stars in the background on instagram.

IMO the issue is girls are less open to guys coming up with a cold open. Unless he's ludicrously alluring, they're just going to wait until that ludicrously alluring bloke comes. High expectation fed from non-stop cultural enforcements of how 'omg fnk stop! sexy!' they think they are. Chicks upping one another on social media only happens so they can get the same thing back. Feedback loop of high opinions.

Blokes meanwhile probably think a bit of the same. All they do is follow bimbos with trim bodies who probably go yachting in Greece with oil baron's sons. They think that's what all girls look like and what all girls are and should be, and that they too should get a piece of it. But more than anything they're timid and scared of just plain old rejection. Too much risk for that unlikely reward, basically.

I think this is true too.

 

[Scotland]

No hint of irony in posting it on an internet forum but people need to go outside and interact with one another. Everything on the internet, social media etc. is manufactured so some degree. Some people catalogue their entire existence on Instagram in a thirst for anonymous validation. Others post a photo of a cat once every 2 years.

I've met people IRL and then seen their social media, and I've seen people on social media and then met them IRL. Differences can be stark, both in appearance and personality, attitude etc.

 

[Andre]

One thing I feel belongs in here is this idea that white, young straight men can't complain.

Gay people are some sort of underrepresented, disdained group, who feel as hard done by as the native people who once had this land to themselves and now commit suicide more than anyone else. White, privately educated women complain about the glass ceiling and how they don't get paid enough.

I actually think young men have a plethora of issues in this world.

I can't tell you the amount of 18-26 year old men who have struggled to find jobs while studying or utilising degrees far more useful than mine. Women seem to fit into industries while studying a lot easier (bar jobs, retail, admin which aren't easy, but are still jobs and suitable for students). Women also seem to slot a lot easier into professional, full-time work. This is just anecdotal.

Do other young men feel slighted or as though they're between the cracks?

We are the first generation of men to have uncertainty around the affordability and likelihood of having a family. We're the only generation who will ever remember not having a computer, but also are computer literate. We are half-way between the old school high school > apprenticeship / high school > uni > job and the 'do whatever you can' workforce. What is the man now? I'm not an alpha male and I'm not a pussy. I have instincts of protection and care for my girlfriend, but I'm not going to smack someone in the head if he tries talking to her. I'm not going down the gym but I don't want to be some pencil neck whose kid grows up to play Xbox instead of smashing some teeth in once on a bike.

I don't really know how to articulate this next point but it goes back to not ejaculating. And bro science. This sort of thing seems incredibly millennial.

And again, not sure how to go on about this part too much, but there is also an increasing number of virgins and men who have never had a girlfriend.

I know lots of 4.5/10s who I haven't spoken to for years, who were okay guys, but I still don't think have had sex. You'd try and help them out at high school parties but not much would happen. I can imagine many haven't even kissed a girl at 25. I also know blokes who have lots going for them – more than decent lids, good kits, trendy, educated, passionate, thin, tall, sometimes most of those at once and sometimes all – who have never had a girl at their house to meet their folks. And it isn't their fault, nor is it a flaw. Everyone develops at different rates and is dictated by their circumstances. But I feel this is becoming more and more common, more and more normalised.

Is it because women are becoming more status obsessed? To use some old school bro science, are the 10% of brahs still banging the 90% of sloots in the population? I don't think so... I think we all find our balance – a 5 sees a 6, a 7 feels chuffed with an 8.5, a 10 won't chat to a 6 – but it seems this sort of gap in the 'market' is just widening.

Legitimately... and this is a harsh question... how many men feel as though they aren't getting what they feel they should?

30+ years ago a woman unmarried at 35 was a failure to large parts of society. Most didn't want to go against (/knew they could go against) these expectations. So sure guys knew those who were most impressive would get the best women, but those at the bottom were still going to get A woman.

Fast forward to today and this is obviously not the case. Women don't have to settle for second rate. And women are (generalisations here, obviously exceptions for both genders) much more willing (and content) to be single then men. So you've got plenty of single women, but they aren't an unhappy mass. And those that are single women are more likely to be successful, where as for men those not successful with women are one's that didn't catch the eye of women in large part because they aren't 'successful' in general. Success defined by those women (generalisation again), that they aren't of an approximately equal education / intelligence / income earning potential level.

Rom-com's and TV in general aimed at ladies don't help. How many stories pitched as Jane Average gets the guy whose tall, handsome, charming AND well off? A typical 'must have list' would include the guy needs a degree (about 25% of the population), 6 foot plus (take that and half it), not fat (knock off another 20 - 30% as less fat guys amongst those with degrees), earns above average income (knock more out). So before you even get to looks or personality that's down to less than 10% of the population wanted by a s**t load more than that. This common list it should be noted stays remarkably fixed even if the person having it doesn't meet the equivalent points for women. I'm not being bitter here as I tick all those items and are happily married, but it's not a realistic state to be applying across the board to anywhere near the degree it is (and of course the guy has to be good looking AND funny on top of all of those. Average looks and not a comedian so would fail at the later hurdles if was 20-25 years younger and 'out there').

Men, successful or not are more willing to marry someone 'lower' (as defined by that education / intelligence / income earning potential level) because they just find that woman someone they want to spend time with. Once past the 'play the field / date the bad boy' stage women are much less inclined to do this. Now take that these days women outnumber men going into higher education and you can see the divergence occurring here.

There's faults on both sides of this divide in my eyes. From the women's side, I think there's a lot of guys out there (tradies or just working jobs that didn't require higher education in general) who if they gave a chance they'd see would make them very happy and be good long term matches, but they won't date (/marry) down. On the men's side they aren't helping their cause when men's obesity rate is 42% versus women's 29%. And men smoke more, drink excessively more and overdo drugs more. Leave aside employment and if men just got themselves up to just women's levels of addressing these flaws and there'd be many thousands more 'getting lucky'. Not many women (and nor should they) are going to take someone whose all of fatter, smokes more, gets pissed more AND also isn't at their earning level.

tl;dr - Women are missing out by having too high standards, men let themselves go too much.

 

[Scotland]

^^Bit of a tangent from why men look as they do but that's just women really. Societal pressures have changed over time and with choice comes consequences. Women want everything men have without giving up anything they have or had that men don't. It's been the case as long as there's been a push for equality and isn't the end of the world. Women and men are different. Biologically different, culturally different, socially different. Difference is OK. You want the 1950s Myer catalogue housewife life you can have it. You want to be CEO of Westpac, shoot for the sky. You want both, probably gonna be tough. Not many stay at home dads in the corporate world.

Some women want to have a career, want to travel, don't want to be tied down with a serious relationship in their 20s, don't want to have kids until later in life if at all and that's great - more power to anyone taking control of their own life - just don't throw your toys out of the cot if the consequences of your choices don't lead to your preconceived expectations being met. A lot of men will settle down earlier in life than they'd like to because it's what the woman wants and they don't want to risk losing her. A lot of women won't settle down early because it's what they want, and then expect that men will be lining up as potential suitors as they were 5, 10 years prior. Doesn't tend to work that way.

I've seen a number of girls who were hot and popular in high school go downhill appearance wise in their early 20s and panic in relationship choices, and I've seen girls act like their s**t doesn't stink all through their 20s then realise all their friends are married and the man cupboard is pretty bare, panic and end up (usually very quickly) marrying a guy they would have scoffed at 5 years prior. It's not the same for men because men are usually the ones doing the courting and are used to women saying no at various stages over the journey. Men aren't freaking out going 's**t, I'm 30, no one will ever love me!' the way some women do.

I hope there's enough "some" in there to appease the generalisation police.

 

[JackOutback]

30+ years ago a woman unmarried at 35 was a failure to large parts of society. Most didn't want to go against (/knew they could go against) these expectations. So sure guys knew those who were most impressive would get the best women, but those at the bottom were still going to get A woman.

Fast forward to today and this is obviously not the case. Women don't have to settle for second rate. And women are (generalisations here, obviously exceptions for both genders) much more willing (and content) to be single then men. So you've got plenty of single women, but they aren't an unhappy mass. And those that are single women are more likely to be successful, where as for men those not successful with women are one's that didn't catch the eye of women in large part because they aren't 'successful' in general. Success defined by those women (generalisation again), that they aren't of an approximately equal education / intelligence / income earning potential level.

Rom-com's and TV in general aimed at ladies don't help. How many stories pitched as Jane Average gets the guy whose tall, handsome, charming AND well off? A typical 'must have list' would include the guy needs a degree (about 25% of the population), 6 foot plus (take that and half it), not fat (knock off another 20 - 30% as less fat guys amongst those with degrees), earns above average income (knock more out). So before you even get to looks or personality that's down to less than 10% of the population wanted by a **** load more than that. This common list it should be noted stays remarkably fixed even if the person having it doesn't meet the equivalent points for women. I'm not being bitter here as I tick all those items and are happily married, but it's not a realistic state to be applying across the board to anywhere near the degree it is (and of course the guy has to be good looking AND funny on top of all of those. Average looks and not a comedian so would fail at the later hurdles if was 20-25 years younger and 'out there').

Men, successful or not are more willing to marry someone 'lower' (as defined by that education / intelligence / income earning potential level) because they just find that woman someone they want to spend time with. Once past the 'play the field / date the bad boy' stage women are much less inclined to do this. Now take that these days women outnumber men going into higher education and you can see the divergence occurring here.

There's faults on both sides of this divide in my eyes. From the women's side, I think there's a lot of guys out there (tradies or just working jobs that didn't require higher education in general) who if they gave a chance they'd see would make them very happy and be good long term matches, but they won't date (/marry) down. On the men's side they aren't helping their cause when men's obesity rate is 42% versus women's 29%. And men smoke more, drink excessively more and overdo drugs more. Leave aside employment and if men just got themselves up to just women's levels of addressing these flaws and there'd be many thousands more 'getting lucky'. Not many women (and nor should they) are going to take someone whose all of fatter, smokes more, gets pissed more AND also isn't at their earning level.

tl;dr - Women are missing out by having too high standards, men let themselves go too much.

I am the 10 per cent

Alright, not quite six foot.

 

[Procrastinator35]

Because decades ago I cared about how I looked, but now, not so much....Call it wisdom.

 

[Andre]

^^Bit of a tangent from why men look as they do but that's just women really. Societal pressures have changed over time and with choice comes consequences. Women want everything men have without giving up anything they have or had that men don't. It's been the case as long as there's been a push for equality and isn't the end of the world. Women and men are different. Biologically different, culturally different, socially different. Difference is OK. You want the 1950s Myer catalogue housewife life you can have it. You want to be CEO of Westpac, shoot for the sky. You want both, probably gonna be tough. Not many stay at home dads in the corporate world.

Some women want to have a career, want to travel, don't want to be tied down with a serious relationship in their 20s, don't want to have kids until later in life if at all and that's great - more power to anyone taking control of their own life - just don't throw your toys out of the cot if the consequences of your choices don't lead to your preconceived expectations being met. A lot of men will settle down earlier in life than they'd like to because it's what the woman wants and they don't want to risk losing her. A lot of women won't settle down early because it's what they want, and then expect that men will be lining up as potential suitors as they were 5, 10 years prior. Doesn't tend to work that way.

I've seen a number of girls who were hot and popular in high school go downhill appearance wise in their early 20s and panic in relationship choices, and I've seen girls act like their **** doesn't stink all through their 20s then realise all their friends are married and the man cupboard is pretty bare, panic and end up (usually very quickly) marrying a guy they would have scoffed at 5 years prior. It's not the same for men because men are usually the ones doing the courting and are used to women saying no at various stages over the journey. Men aren't freaking out going '****, I'm 30, no one will ever love me!' the way some women do.

I hope there's enough "some" in there to appease the generalisation police.

The other one that’s always been ‘in play’ is once women are looking long term men are competing against not just their (age) peers, but also guys up to 10-20 years older. Women (generalisation alert again), putting more emphasis on security (earning level, intelligence and maturity) in a long term partner then men means a 30 year old guy looking at a 30 year old woman is also competing against those guys up to 50, many who be age are more financially secure and settled. Some of this is obviously just biological, unless you want to go (/risk the uncertainty) of IVF guys know they have time on side so can look younger. A 30 year old guy wanting a family as part of settling down won’t be generally looking 40+.

Guys only qualified small win in the end is men die earlier so if you hold out to 50 then the male/female ratio starts falling in your favour. And it only gets better as you get older, just need to make it

 

[class78]

Can confirm I look like a 16 year old boy even though I'm in my twenties. Did this happen in the 1980s?

 

[Nimble Numbat]

Seeing as there's been a bit of talk about life as a whole, I figure I might as well throw my two cents in.

One of the things I've found helpful is to not get too hung up on where you will be in several years. There are just too many things outside of your control (economy as a whole and job opportunities, who you meet, missing a bus, someone else just being in a s**t mood when they meet / deal with you etc.), and planning for things when you can't control them just leads to anger and frustration. So focus on the things you can control, and roll with the rest of it. It's pretty generic advice which I think we've all heard before, but it has been helpful to me. This doesn't mean not having plans, but I think more about being realistic about the complexity of life.

I think another part is making decisions about your future now, even without knowing if they will play out the way you want. E.g. Say you want to target 89. Your accuracy may be 89 +/- 10, so you could end up anywhere from 79 to 99. You might not hit your mark, you can be within some tolerance. Try to make decisions that will get you close to where you want to be, but don't stress too much. Maybe you end up at 69 and you like that a whole lot more, too.

 

[edgie]

look at these classic strayans, whatever happened to the voice, the accent, the true laid back attitude

Back when nearly 50% of cars on the road were Holden and way over 50% were locally made.


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[edgie]

Can confirm I look like a 16 year old boy even though I'm in my twenties. Did this happen in the 1980s?

How


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[class78]

How


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Scrawny, short, blonde hair, baby face, no pubes

 

[edgie]

No pubes? By choice or nature?

Aside from my hair on my head I reckon I'm holding up alright but would've been one of the first kids with hair down there.

Still can't grow facial hair beyond three day growth level.


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[demondavey]

Just walk up to a woman and talk to her, if she she’s not interested then you’ll know it. If she is then great. I’ve never had a problem with it. If a girl makes eyes at me several times I know she’s either recognised me from somewhere or she likes the look of me. So in that case I’ll approach her.

Met my current partner at a pub on a Sunday afternoon in Richmond. She overheard a joke I told and laughed and I used that as my introduction. I’ve always tried it. Alcohol definitely helps but I’ve even picked up a girl on the train before, at a swimming pool.

You’d be amazed how much the social media world is just fluff and to pose.

 

[peasantbruh69]

That's the problem, girls aren't making eyes at us anymore because we don't look as good as we did decades ago

 

[demondavey]

That's the problem, girls aren't making eyes at us anymore because we don't look as good as we did decades ago

Then work harder. Eat right. Exercise, lift weights. The average guy these days seriously overeats. I look at guys at work who go out for a big lunch most days, maybe even have a drink as well. They do stuff all exercise and eat breakfast and dinner. Disgusting.

Just recently I was up in QLD and we stayed at a resort. There was a buffet breakfast with everything. On virtually every single plate (men & women) there were fried eggs, bacon, hash browns, pancakes and a pastry. And what was worse? They went again!

Each day I ate some smoked salmon, one piece of toast, one poached egg and some fruit. I also exercise quite a bit (swimming and weights) probably 3-4 times a week. I don’t eat lunch as a meal. Only breakfast (similar to what I mentioned) and dinner.

Now as a 34 year old active male who exercises regularly, how can I get away with eating that and how can those people I mentioned eat more and do less and justify it?

My point? YOU DO NOT NEED IT!

This 3 square meals a day crap is this preconditioned notion that people follow. I mean what’s a *en square meal? We eat far too many calories, we eat far too many bad calories, our exercise output is awful, and we look like rubbish.

People don’t have pride in their appearance anymore. From dressing well, to exercising. People just don’t give a * on the whole. As a male I find it pretty embarrassing to see men present themselves the way they do and call themselves men.

 

[Feerits Elf]

Can confirm I look like a 16 year old boy

How

no pubes

wut

 

[edgie]

That's the problem, girls aren't making eyes at us anymore because we don't look as good as we did decades ago

I reckon they are. I reckon looks are more unimportant to women than ever before.

I worked with a girl, she's an 11. Stunner. Was dumped by her average looking overweight fella. Was bitching about her stupid fat ugly ex and his new fat dumb girlfriend. That's all true but, what I wanna ask is why were you rootin him for a couple of years? She's good looking, well adjusted, smart, good family? Maybe cause he played reserves footy and earned good money? Who knows.

That is just one example in what I see a lot. Point is I see a lot of females happy to punch well below their weight and this is why men are happy to not stress about appearance. Why would they after all?


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