Media WIGMEDIA: EJW's Scale of Indignation

[Elton Johns Wig]

​

Hello again my wonderful SFA community.

I've noticed something this year. There is plenty happening, PLENTY happening. New kerfuffles and scandals (sorry brahj, iconic thread) are happening weekly, if not daily.

It's also an incredibly active season for media, with lots of quality offerings hitting our screens (and also lots of tripe). It's great to see our formerly not very active admin Kennedy Parker keeping an eye on the media proceedings and adjudicating with some much needed quality control.

Now, all these events. These scandals, the circuses we create, and even the media, it's designed to gain attention. And some of it is designed to get a negative reaction, to rustle Jimmies if you will.

Well, believe it or not, I've noticed this, genius that I am.

And after much behind the scenes testing on many, many threads and scandals, I'm ready to debut my patented technology that produces EJW's Scale Of Indignation.

This formula, which is patented just like the colonels secret herbs and spices, and is bought to you by the designers of Noobz0r's Power Rankings, will scale threads and events as to their level of annoyance.

It is accurate and cannot be questioned. All ratings have been triple checked, and are 100% correct.





The Scale Of Indignation (SOI) is as follows:







1.The Easter Island Statue: The thread or event has no effect on the scale. It is barely recognised and the person behind it should bin it.





2.The Yawn: Seriously, is that all you've got? Wake me up when you've got something.







3.The Larry David: Yeah, ok, I'm listening, and I'm mildly annoyed.






4. The Jose Mourinho: Oh **** off mate!! Ok, this legitimately gets up my goat. I want to react, this has got me.






5. The Anger from Inside Out: Ok, we're going nuclear inside here. You are pushing every single one of my buttons, I've tried to contain it, but I can't.



Not all threads or scandals will be rated. We don't want to break or overload the system in the early operational phases.

First ratings will appear below very shortly.

Wig Out

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

FIRST RATING IS IN.

The algorithm has spat out it's first rating and it's a disappointing result for someone clamouring for attention.

Media - BREAKING: S29 All-Sweet FA Team Reduced to 16 Players

There's 15 other spots in the side after me, relax They won't catch you!

www.bigfooty.com

League fossil and yesterdays man Headless has tried to generate some interest and faux outrage here, and according to the machine, this has fallen flatter than a shitcarters hat.

SOI score:

 

[fumbler]

Is Jose Merino a chef at Montezumas?

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Is Jose Merino a chef at Montezumas?

 

[I Dont Care]

OK then

 

[fumbler]

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

And for what it's worth I don't think anyone can get to a 5 on the scale. It would surprise me greatly.

 

[I Dont Care]

And for what it's worth I don't think anyone can get to a 5 on the scale. It would surprise me greatly.

Is that a...challenge?

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

And for what it's worth I don't think anyone can get to a 5 on the scale. It would surprise me greatly.

Oh trust me mate, I will get to 5 at some point this season.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Oh trust me mate, I will get to 5 at some point this season.

Looking forward to it!!

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

The second event that was put through the machine was the following:

Media - League Legend DROPPED !

Yesterday was extremely disappointing .....a rival club celebrating one of our players Milestones ....that this player remains in that rival clubs LG and "may" have communicated team strategies and gameplan ....was of major concern Further more ....said player on further inspection, has been...

www.bigfooty.com

Now, I think the machine actually burped when it spat this out. WaynesWorld19 in an ongoing quest to be taken semi seriously.

There is nothing more boring than a "scandal" that is CLEARLY nothing but a beat up in an effort to gain attention.

The only reason that the machine registered this was that the name of league heavyweight JoshWoodenSpoon was involved. For someone as pissweak as Wayno to use a name like Yoshi's to try and generate interest is beyond the pale. Nothing new for him though.

Purely because Josh is involved, the SOI rating given was:

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Is that a...challenge?

Yes. But disingenuous attempts will be picked up by the algorithm.

 

[I Dont Care]

Yes. But disingenuous attempts will be picked up by the algorithm.

Disingenuous as in this thread?

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Disingenuous as in this thread?

Wrong. This is not disingenuous. The work that has gone into the algorhythm and blues has been extraordinary.

I have only one criticism of the Thread and I made this plain at the Workshop Wig Media ran with 50 Sweet FA foot soldiers to test customer reaction.

The Level 1 rating using a super realist image of Kennedy Parker is most unfortunate in my view. I made my opposition of the doxxing of poor Clod loud and clear at the time. I ask Elton Johns Wig to reconsider use of the image, be it graven or otherwise.

 

[I Dont Care]

Wrong. This is not disingenuous. The work that has gone into the algorhythm and blues has been extraordinary.

I have only one criticism of the Thread and I made this plain at the Workshop Wig Media ran with 50 Sweet FA foot soldiers to test customer reaction.

The Level 1 rating using a super realist image of Kennedy Parker is most unfortunate in my view. I made my opposition of the doxxing of poor Clod loud and clear at the time. I ask Elton Johns Wig to reconsider use of the image, be it graven or otherwise.

I'm never wrong. Like I even know how to spell 'algorithm'. Do you?

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

I'm never wrong. Like I even know how to spell 'algorithm'. Do you?

I thought you would forgive the bad pun. You are a tough one today.

 

[I Dont Care]

I thought you would forgive the bad pun. You are a tough one today.

I'm always tough, it hides my squishy interior

 

[fumbler]

I thought you would forgive the bad pun. You are a tough one today.

I got it.

7.5/10 dad joke

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Disingenuous as in this thread?

I'll have you know the levels of indignation recorded are in no way disingenuous.

The point will be to uncover efforts at attempted shock efforts that are so.

I'm offended.

 

[I Dont Care]

I'm offended.

Good. Then my work here is done, carry on

 

[Kennedy Parker]

I cannot think of a poster on this site who is less funny than Bloodied52 .

Probably the sort of dude that tells the same jokes over and over again and be the only one laughing.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

I cannot think of a poster on this site who is less funny than Bloodied52 .

Probably the sort of dude that tells the same jokes over and over again and be the only one laughing.

The machine has been activated!!

The algorithm recognised a cheap jab from a poster who normally spits out opinion and/or insults of a much higher quality and consistency. It also recognises a clear and apparent falsehood attempting to be delivered in a deadpan manner. The algorithm doesn't have feelings or emotions, but if it did, it relayed in its findings that it would be one of disappointment.

SOI:

 

[Headless]

FIRST RATING IS IN.

The algorithm has spat out it's first rating and it's a disappointing result for someone clamouring for attention.

Media - BREAKING: S29 All-Sweet FA Team Reduced to 16 Players

There's 15 other spots in the side after me, relax They won't catch you!

www.bigfooty.com

League fossil and yesterdays man Headless has tried to generate some interest and faux outrage here, and according to the machine, this has fallen flatter than a witches tit.

SOI score:

View attachment 829854

BULK LIKES on this one, Elton. Good stuff.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

BULK LIKES on this one, Elton. Good stuff.

Now now. Don't get all smart with me. It's the machine, the algorithm.

I just pass on the ratings to the people.

 

[RelaxMax]

this has fallen flatter than a witches tit.