Wade being a Chicago native it's inevitable.
Winning in Philadelphia is as difficult as feeding a Vegan meat...It's the Official Week 6 Thread!
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Sac's commentators are fine, it's generally the deep South where the worst are found - Dallas a notable exception.
Napear's fine as a caller, but apparently is a bit of a douche in real life. Jerry Reynolds by contrast is supposedly one of the nicest guys in the sport.
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Missed first Dubs game in a long while due to drinking all night. Looks like it was a ripper game, can't wait to see the replay.
Steph 44 points with 9/15 from 3? This dude is breaking the NBA
Steph 44 points with 9/15 from 3? This dude is breaking the NBA
I can see Napear as a bit of a loose cannon behind the cameras, not surprised by that rumour. Calling the last nine Sacramento season will do that to you though
Reynolds has a voice that could put a baby to sleep, how could you dislike him?
Agree on the Mavericks set of commentators too, they've got a beautifully run organisation inside and out there.
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Knicks, Nets, Philly are all good.
Dallas, Lakers, Wiz, Blazers, Bucks & Wolves are generally pretty even-handed.
I like Stacey King with the Bulls and Eddie Johnson with the Suns for colour, could take or leave their play-by-play guys though.
Griz, Cavs, Spurs, Rockets, and at times Hawks, Thunder & Jazz are all homers and pseudo-WWE-dramatists
Didn't hans moleman make a detailed post on this once?
Mike Breen is one of the best callers going around.
The Hawks play-by-play talent sounds like he's from 50's Manhattan.
I like the Jazz guy even though they are homers..
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lebron is tired.
nice miami fans. nice.
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Well he is a national guy, so one would hope so.
That's just coz of your name, admit it
- I went back and found the behemoth of a post by hans moleman. Brilliant as always.
Yeah, so I went overboard thinking about this and put together my own subjectrive rankings for each of the Local Commentary teams (Consider it an official guide to the NBA's commentary teams, if you will).
I based the rankings on the following categories:- Homerism: All Local broadcasters are homers, but to what extent?
- Hysteria: How crazed does the commentator get? This goes hand in hand in homerism, whether via reacting orgasmically to highlight plays or outrageously to perceived bad calls.
- Grumpy Old Men Factor: A lot of the colour commentators are old. This category will rate the extent to which their oncoming senility will have you ringng the nearest nursing home.
- Analysis: How much basketball insight do thde commentators provide? After all, they must be basketball "experts" for a reason, right?
- Likability: In spite of (or because of) all the above categories, how likable are the commentators?
OK, so here are Local Commentary team rankings (from worst to first):
30. Denver (Chris Marlowe & Scott Hastings).
Hastings is a disillusioned, serial whiner who adds no flavour to the broadcast. In fact, his constant moaning (“He shoulda done this…”, “He shoulda done that…”) actually takes away the joy of watching a game of Basketball.- Homerism rating (out of 5): 3.5
- Hysteria rating : 4
- Grumpy Old Men rating: 4
- Analysis rating: 1
- Likability rating: 1
29. LA Clippers (Ralph Lawler & Mike Smith)
Lawler is so enamoured with his own catchphrases it's as he's become a parody of himself. The bigger the Clipper lead, the more unbearable Lawler gets. A true frontrunner.
Smith is a capable colour commentator, much needed on the Clippers broadcast table to ensure that it doesn’t become too much of the Ralph Lawler show. And while it can sometimes be hard to get a word in around the constant calls of “Bingo!”, “Oh me, oh my!” and “That’s the law!”, Smith shows he has a good grasp of the game, particularly the individual tendencies and attributes of players around the league.- Homerism: 4
- Hysteria: 4.5
- GOM: 2.5
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 1.5
28. Houston (Bill Worrell, Matt Bullard & Clyde Drexler)
Drexler: great player, smooth scorer, fantastic athleticism...But boy is he an awful commentator.
He sounds like a punch-drunk former boxer whose mind is always two steps slower than everyone else. At least Drexler does give occassional credit to the opposition, something his 2 co-commentators are loathe to do.
Worrell is a strong homer: a touch of arrogance in his voice when the team is winning, a pouting baby when the Rockets are losing.- Homerism: 4.5
- Hysteria: 3
- GOM: 3
- Analysis: 2
- Likability: 1.5
27. Atlanta (Bob Rathbun & Dominique Wilkins).
‘Nique doesn’t provide much more than describing what just happened, and saying "That was a good/bad shot." Exciting player, boring commentator.
Rathbun has a voice straight out the Broadcasting School textbook but does a good enough job.- Homerism: 2
- Hysteria: 2
- GOM: 2.5
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 2.5
26. Memphis (Pete Pranica & Brevin Knight)
Unexciting, humourless, dull and inoffensive. The duo's voices carry little heft with Knight in particular sounding like a college kid (Brevin, by the way, needs to cut back onusing “we” and “us” when referring to the Grizzlies).
I find the Grizzlies broadcast has a distinctively stripped-down, amateurish feel. The sound quality is poor, with the on-court sounds muffled (a shame in a way, since the Grizzlies don't stick to the tired, usual in-game music heard around the league).
It all screams "Small-market".- Homerism: 3.5
- Hysteria: 1.5
- GOM: 1
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 2
25. Oklahoma City (Brian Davis & Grant Long)
Davis has a somewhat off-kilter sense of humour, which I can appreciate. His non-sequitur comments can leave you thinking "Wait, was that supposed to joke?" Unfortunately, Davis does tend to veer into homer territory too often.
Long is mildly competent and generally relaxed.
Together, they're one of the least memorable duos out there.- Homerism: 3.5
- Hysteria: 3
- GOM: 2
- Analysis: 2
- Likability: 2.5
24. Charlotte (Steve Martin & Dell Cury)
Curry can provide the occassional X’s and O’s insight, but also likes to share a laugh with play-by-play man Steve Martin (heck I’d laugh too if I was seated next to the man responsible for The Jerk and The Lonely Guy).
So it’s a decent mix of the serious and the relaxed in the Bobcats booth, thoughit perhaps skews a bit too much to the latter.- Homerism: 2.5
- Hysteria: 1
- GOM: 1.5
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 2.5
23. LA Lakers (Bill MacDonald & Stu Lantz)
They’re okay I guess, besides the orgasms they have whenever any Laker does something half-decent. Lantz is well past his use-by date.- Homerism: 4.5
- Hysteria: 4
- GOM: 3.5
- Analysis: 2
- Likability: 2
22. San Antonio (Bill Land & Sean Elliott).
From an analytical perspective, Elliott sees a lot and is pretty good, but he’s an overtalker: He interjects after almost every play and talks quickly, trying to squeeze in too much information and using too many words.
...Plus he sounds a tad like Napoleon Dynamite.
This is bearable though. It’s in the tense moments of the game however, when the offputting homerism shines through, although he isn’t as bad as the over-the-top hysteria of Spurs play-by-play man Land, for whom every standard Spurs layup or 3-pointer is the greatest shot in the history of mankind.- Homerism: 4.5
- Hysteria: 5
- GOM: 2
- Analysis: 3.5
- Likability: 1.5
21. Miami (Eric Reid & Tony Fiorentino)
Being the 2-time defending champs, life is good for Reid and Fiorentino (and yes, for some reason the Heat commentators do get their own championship rings). So it’d be understandable if the pair bragged and boasted during Miami wins.
Thankfully though, Reid and Fiorentino don’t overdo the hysterics while the Heat make spectacular plays and go on game changing runs.
That’s probably the only appreciable aspect of their commentary though, as the high-pitched, whiny quality of their voices hover annoyingly in the air.- Homerism: 3.5
- Hysteria: 2.5
- GOM: 1.5
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 2
hans moleman, Feb 2, 2014Report
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20. Portland (Mike Barrett & Mike Rice)
Mike Rice is the prototypical stubborn old guy (another of the old white guy brigade who seemingly will never be ushered into retirement). He's intelligent, but interjects and protests so much that it just ends up grating on you.
The city of Portland is so protective of its team, so it’s no surprise that the 2 Mike’s are heavy homers.- Homerism: 4.5
- Hysteria: 3.5
- GOM: 5
- Analysis: 3.5
- Likability: 1
19. Milwaukee (Jim Paschke & Jon McGlocklin)
McGlocklin often starts games with a heady optimism (which of course is often deflated by game’s end), constantly chattering away during the game at 100 kph and often letting out exhortations (“Woo!”, “Oh!”, “Wow!”) during each highlight play. He should probably cut back on the caffeine.
Paschke provides sufficient homerism and the realisation that there are too many old white men commentating NBA games.- Homerism: 4
- Hysteria: 4
- GOM: 4
- Analysis: 3.5
- Likability: 2.5
18. Utah (Craig Bolerjack & Matt Harpring)
At times, these two sound like they've lost the will to live, beaten down by the endless Jazz losses this season.
Harpring is eager, straightforward, insistent, but ultimately very vanilla and rarely raises his voice in anger/excitement. He and Bolerjack maintain a conversational style, not afraid to deviate from the on-court action and discuss more general basketball topics during the game.- Homerism: 2.5
- Hysteria: 1.5
- GOM: 3
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 2.5
17. Cleveland (Fred McLeod & Austin Carr).
Carr reminds me of a grey-bearded, slightly crazy but ultimately harmless and lovable old uncle, sitting back in his recliner, enjoying the basketball game unfolding in front of him.
Yes, he loves his Cavs and isn’t afraid to needle the opposition is his own unique manner, often simply with the hearty “Ha, Ha, Ha!” bellow he unleashes.
Many see this as annoying, while others see it as endearing. I lean towards the latter...I mean, how much can you really hate on a harmless old man?
McLeod's style, I’d agree, can really wear on the viewer.- Homerism: 4.5
- Hysteria: 3.5
- GOM: 4.5
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 2.5
16. Orlando (David Steele & Jeff Turner)
Steele sounds like he’s trying to imitate Mike Breen while Jeff Turner is servicable but ultimately “meh” and not in the class of former Magic colour guy Matt Guokas.
Since I don't have much to say about his commentary, here’s an interesting tidbit from Turner’s Wikipedia page:
“On June 4, 2008, the Associated Press reported that Ronnie Craven of Somerville, Massachusetts, had been posing as Jeff Turner and using the identity to facilitate sexual encounters with women he met in online chat rooms.”
Um, what?!?
Why Jeff Turner?
Was he succesful in facilitating these “sexual encounters”? (imagine that, getting laid because you said you were Jeff Turner – given what a scrub Turner was in his playing days, that’s quite an accomplishment in my book).
What pick up lines did he use? (I mean, he couldn’t use any “take it to the hole” or “penetration” double entendres since I don’t think he ever drove to the ring during his entire playing career).
...So many questions left unanswered here.- Homerism: 2
- Hysteria: 1.5
- GOM: 2.5
- Analysis: 1.5
- Likability: 2
15. Golden State (Bob Fitzgerald & Jim Barnett)
It’s a shame that such an exciting team like the Warriors have a stick-in-the-mud like Barnett in the commentary booth.
Barnett obviously has basketball smarts (he does a good play of pointing out and describing offensive/defensive sets) but comes off as a huge know-it-all.
The guy needs to sit back, relax and enjoy the Curry shooting display from time to time.- Homerism: 3.5
- Hysteria: 2
- GOM: 4
- Analysis: 4
- Likability: 1.5
14. New Orleans (Joel Meyers & David Wesley)
Sorry SoS, but I’m not a real of fan of Meyers or his broadcasting voice (though maybe that’s unfairly due to some residual Lakers hate).
As for the nerdy sounding Wesley, he’s clearly a work in progress: the words don’t seem to flow naturally off his tongue as he struggles to find the right way to express his thoughts. Still, he seems like a knowledgable guy.
- Homerism: 3
- Hysteria: 1.5
- GOM: 1.5
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 2.5
13. Detroit (George Blaha & Greg Kelser)
A calm, level headed commentator, Kelser is happy to sit back and observe the action, chiming in with key points every now and then.
Never outraged or hysterical (the atmosphere at the Palace of Auburn Hills of comes across as dull on TV broadcasts, so I guess that's understable), Kelser happily lets distinctive, long-time play-by-play man Blaha commentate on the exciting Piston plays.
Decent but unexciting.- Homerism: 2.5
- Hysteria: 2
- GOM: 2.5
- Analysis: 3.5
- Likability: 3
12. Indiana (Chris Denari & Quinn Buckner)
Buckner stumbles over his words, talks too much and uses too long sentences (such that he reduces play-by-play man Denari - who has good overall NBA knowledge - to a sidekick role).
The good thing with Buckner though, is the urgency in his voice that reflects his keen interest in the Pacers' fortunes, which in turn engages the viewer...in some respects he sounds like a eager, educated fan watching the game (nothing wrong with that at times).
The commentary is very Indy focused...Buckner and Denari view every play from the Pacers' perspective, which is good if you're an Indiana fan.- Homerism: 3.5
- Hysteria: 2
- GOM: 3.5
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 3.5
11. Phoenix (Steve Albert & Eddie Johnson)
Johnson has a lazy, slurring speaking style...he’s not exactly clear or crisp with his words. Because of this downbeat, negative tone, Johnson’s expressions of surprise/awe/humour can often be mistaken for annoyance and indifference.
His style is something different, which is good, but at times can leave you feeling less than enthralled with the game.- Homerism: 3
- Hysteria: 2
- GOM: 3.5
- Analysis: 1.5
- Likability: 2.5
hans moleman, Feb 2, 2014Report
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10. Sacramento (Grant Napear & Jerry Reynolds)
A man with a dry and understated sense of humour, Reynolds keeps his talking to a minimum - sometimes you feel that Napear constantly asks him questions for the sole purpose of making sure old Jerry doesn't nod off during play.
We've seen too many demoralising Kings losses in recent years. When this happens Napear sounds like his cat just died while Reynolds simply takes it in his stride...he’s been worn down by years of Kings mediocrity.- Homerism: 3
- Hysteria: 1
- GOM: 4
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 3.5
9. Chicago (Neil Funk & Stacey King)
You generally have 2 types of colour commentator: The stoic analyst and the Flava Flav style hypeman.
King falls firmly in the latter group, and I think he plays the role well (a stark contrast to his playing days when I detested his confused face, bad hands and garbage-time ball hogging).
He works well with Funk, and while the pair are obvious homers, the excitement they project still makes games enjoyable to listen to.- Homerism: 4
- Hysteria: 4
- GOM: 2.5
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 3.5
8. Dallas (Mark Followill, Jeff ‘Skin’ Wade & Derek Harper)
Hey look, it’s a young-ish, non-former player doing colour commentary!...And you know what, Wade does a pretty decent job.
Harper, who speaks like that big nose of his is forever blocked, is solid and steady without being outstanding (kinda like his playing career). No overt homerism here…a very inoffensive commentary booth.- Homerism: 2
- Hysteria: 2.5
- GOM: 2
- Analysis: 3.5
- Likability: 3.5
7. Toronto (Matt Devlin & Jack Armstrong)
“Miller GD!!!”
“Ba-cah-di!!!”
Why is this guy always shouting sponsors names at me like an angry leprechaun? Armstrong is always either a) in a state panic or b) on a drug-induced high, but at least he has a somewhat decent and self-deprecating sense of humour.
Devlin does a good job of ramping up the excitement level when necessary.- Homerism: 3.5
- Hysteria: 5
- GOM: 3
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 3.5
6. Minnesota (Dave Benz & Jim Peterson)
Peterson is a soft-spoken, matter of fact commentator who gives credit to both teams where due and prefers to be descriptive rather than use singular superlatives. In other words, he isn’t the most excitable guy in the broadcast booth.
That said, both he and Benz know their basketball, with good knowledge of each individual player (both stars and role-players), how plays are executed, and an affinity for advanced stats.
A good duo to listen to if you want the antics kept to a minimum.- Homerism: 1.5
- Hysteria: 1
- GOM: 2
- Analysis: 4
- Likability: 3
5. Washington (Steve Buckhantz & Phil Chenier)
Buckhantz and Chenier have been together longer than most married couples have. It’s evident that they’re both very comfortable in their roles – in fact, it can seem as if Chenier is delivering his laid-back drawl from his own lounge chair.
But don’t be fooled: Chenier still shows a keen interest in the each game, the state of the league and the progress of this young Wizards team.- Homerism: 3
- Hysteria: 2 (Chenier on his own would register a negative number in this category)
- GOM: 3.5
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 4
4. Brooklyn (Ian Eagle & Mike Fratello)
Do you like your dry humour? An understated 2-man comedy schtick? Well then, the Eagle/Fratello pairing is for you.
These two aren’t afraid to tease each other to the point where you’re uncertain if they genuinely hate each other or are just having a laugh (it always the latter).
I’m not as big a fan of Eagle as others, but he’s undoubtedly good at what he does – the typical broadcaster’s voice and an adeptness at calling the big plays.
Fratello has calmed down from his permed hair days, and I do miss that old Fratello energy at times.- Homerism: 2
- Hysteria: 2.5
- GOM: 1.5
- Analysis: 4
- Likability: 4
3. Boston (Mike Gorman & Tommy Heinsohn)
As far as I’m concerned, all those who hate on this commentary duo can GTFO…or at the very least, lighten up a little.
Tommy is of course one of the most biased commentators out there; depending on his level of anger he either goes hysterical at (perceived) bad calls, or dismisses them in an offhanded “it’s no surprise the calls are bad – the refs suck – they always have” way.
And you know what, I love it. I love the fact that he’s outrageous, shouting in the mic and ranting and raving. It’s hilarious.
Maybe you’d prefer a more sedate, straightforward analyst. But you know what, there are already plenty of those clones out there. Give me the firebrand Heinsohn any day.
As for Gorman, he does a decent job of the play by play…getting the tone of the call right based on the stage of the game. If the Celtics are struggling (as they have for much of the year), the silence in the commentary booth is noticable, only broken by a sullen call from Gorman as the opposition scores yet again.
Coupled with the Boston Garden’s preference not to pump out blaring music during play, the atmosphere can fell very funereal when the Celts are down big…in a weird way you can appreciate the silence in these moments – it reflects the mood of the game well (NBA games aren’t always highlight reels from start to finish).
Conversely, when Boston is playing well, the Garden is rocking and the commentators are aware enough to let the viewers soak in the cheers rather than screaming over the top of big plays.
Great crowd and great commentary pair IMO.- Homerism: 5
- Hysteria: 4
- GOM: 5
- Analysis: 3
- Likability: 2.5 (you either love 'em or hate 'em)
2. New York (Mike Breen & Walt Frazier)
Breen is, of course, one of the best play-by-play men out there while Frazier is just a cool cat whose smooth, languid words leave behind an air of suaveness. He’s as laid back as they come, whether celebrating a Knick basket or (more commonly) being startled by a knucklehead play.
I feel like I should be sitting in an armchair with a glass of scotch in one hand while listening to the man commentate.
- Homerism: 1.5
- Hysteria: 2
- GOM: 2
- Analysis: 2.5
- Likability: 4.5
1. Philadelphia (Marc Zumoff & Malik Rose)
This duo get on well and you can tell they enjoy each others company and also enjoy watching games.
Rose is an underrated analyst. Intelligent and informative, he does a great job of breaking down plays and pointing out the 76ers offensive and defensive principles while in action.
Zumoff and Rose can also keep things lighthearted too, in fact they strike just the right balance between analysis, excitement and humour.- Homerism: 1.5
- Hysteria: 2.5
- GOM: 1
- Analysis: 4
- Likability: 4.5
Look2Me4Guidance
Destination Club Supporter
Can't have the Celts at 3. Like Eddie Maguire commentating a Pies game. Putrid
That summary is the type of thing that should get you a job with Grantland (vale). Well played again hans moleman 
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Yep, agreed.
Tommy's probably in the same boat as Bill Simmons - he has a great body of knowledge that he can draw upon, but instead he too often chooses to degenerate into blinkered whining.
It's not that he doesn't know any better, but rather that he's too lazy or obstinate to reel it in.
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I like the way that moleman guy thinks.
Anyone that disagrees with him obviously has no idea what they're taking about. For example:
BTW, no Weekly Thread from me next week. (DNP - Tired)
Anyone that disagrees with him obviously has no idea what they're taking about. For example:
...I willl never Look 2 U 4 Guidance ever again
BTW, no Weekly Thread from me next week. (DNP - Tired)
Look2Me4Guidance
Destination Club Supporter
Hey buddy, I also do signatures now. Switch on!I like the way that moleman guy thinks.
Anyone that disagrees with him obviously has no idea what they're taking about. For example:
...I willl never Look 2 U 4 Guidance ever again
BTW, no Weekly Thread from me next week. (DNP - Tired)
I will say I reckon Eastern Conference fans will have differing views of Western Conference announce teams and vice versa due to less inter action during the season
Upgrayedd
A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
drop boston and toronto right down to the bottom and it's a pretty good list.
Look2Me4Guidance
Destination Club Supporter
I think Toronto are very good. They even pumped up Markieff Morris
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People paid good money to see LeBron play and he backed out because he couldn't be bothered playing. The fans were pretty good about it. Nothing wrong with a bit of light hearted banter.
Look2Me4Guidance
Destination Club Supporter
#banter
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Just caught up with the day's action, a lot of fun games around.
Steph vs Lowry and PG vs Sexual Favors* well worth watching again.
* TM Look2Me4Guidance , bandwagon ownership rights reserved
The 43-13 free throw differential is pretty eye-opening, especially considering you're one of the better teams in the league at getting to the line and were +20 in the paint.
Steph vs Lowry and PG vs Sexual Favors* well worth watching again.
* TM Look2Me4Guidance , bandwagon ownership rights reserved
The 43-13 free throw differential is pretty eye-opening, especially considering you're one of the better teams in the league at getting to the line and were +20 in the paint.
Look2Me4Guidance
Destination Club Supporter
In the first, third and fourth quarters Houston were in the bonus with eight and remaining in each quarter.
It was incredibly frustrating to watch not only cos Harden was getting his usual treatment when he creates and exacerbates contact but because Cousins in his seven minutes of action in the 4th was abused whenever he took it to the hoop and got just one call when Cappella jumped into his face.
Houston hit their wide open threes late that's on us and it cost us big time like always, you have good games and bad with the officiating. Unless you're James Harden.
On a positive note Ben McLemore was really good, hitting his shots and playing some brilliant defence on Harden, nothing he could do about some great pull up threes from the beard in his face 2ft behind the arc. I took something away from today unlike Bostons dismantling of us which really rocks your belief in the coach and playing group.
Malik Rose no longer with Sixers - took up a front office position with the Hawks.
We've got Alaa Abdelnaby instead. Nice guy, he and Zumoff have a wip but decent rapport going. But for insights he's not got much on Rose. He likes to draw comparisons to a lot of college players, and it won't be a Sixers broadcast if he doesn't mention that he played for Duke at least once. So alas - because really that's all we had going for us - in an updated hans list, the Sixers wouldn't be the best commentary team going around.
They would however be no.1 in having leads with 5 minutes to go and then not having leads 5 minutes later, because we're dope at that.
We've got Alaa Abdelnaby instead. Nice guy, he and Zumoff have a wip but decent rapport going. But for insights he's not got much on Rose. He likes to draw comparisons to a lot of college players, and it won't be a Sixers broadcast if he doesn't mention that he played for Duke at least once. So alas - because really that's all we had going for us - in an updated hans list, the Sixers wouldn't be the best commentary team going around.
They would however be no.1 in having leads with 5 minutes to go and then not having leads 5 minutes later, because we're dope at that.
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