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Family & Relationships worst breakups

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nicky said:
Had a bad / weird one last night.

This guy i was seeing (less than a month) popped in. I didn't anticipate how much the pop in would annoy me. I had work problems on my mind so was a bit quiet. He was paranoid that i was distant.

An episode of wilfred finished (was watching it on my computer) and he asked to go on the internet. So i went to bed. Then he started playing loud jazz music and skattiing (i am not joking).

I asked him to turn it down then he said that he was leaving because he felt unwelcome. I said "sorry i have alot on my mind atm and I really don't want to have an argument". Anyway he didn't leave and kept talking about the fact that since i had smoked a joint I had gone really quiet etc. I told him that I'm not going to bother appeasing him (like please stay) because it's a waste of everybodies time. Then he accused me of being "fiercely independant" - I was like "what's wrong with that"
He said that I need to learn to compromise. I was like 'I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR TWO WEEKS"
Then he said i was being high maintenance and he is not happy about it. (talk about projection)

The thing is, before this happened i really started to like him. But one of my pet dislikes is people who think the emotional world of people they know is somehow a result of them. I just wanted to chill out and think about things and instead he thought i was upset over him. Ironically, it did become about him because he was hassling.
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This post just helped me out :thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:

My girlfriend at the moment is being distant and not chatty at all recently, but apparently it's not about me but because she's under a lot of stess at the moment. Doesn't stop me thinking that im part of the cause sometimes though...
 
One of my ex's is annoying at the moment. Wasnt a bad break up, but now its just wierd.

Back in highschool In like year 9 or 10 she broke up with me in a series of texts and phonecalls, then we got back together a year later (lol @ me) and we were together for about 2 1/2, 3 years after that.

Mutually broke up a second time but I see her a fair bit as we live near each other, have to catch same public transport etc and she is always so dismissive and bitchy to me and tries to completly ignore me which I dont quite understand. Will give me evil looks, call up her curretn boyfriend and talk real loud, walk off if I say hi as I walk past etc but meh. The problems obviously with her. Not after a friendship but common courtesy wouldnt be too hard considering we run into each other about once a fortnight.

Also saw her at my best mates 21st a few months ago. She has a new boyfriend but he wasnt there and she was being the biggest sl** trying to make me jealous by being all over my mates and then looking at me sideways etc.
 
magic_johnson! said:
This post just helped me out :thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:

My girlfriend at the moment is being distant and not chatty at all recently, but apparently it's not about me but because she's under a lot of stess at the moment. Doesn't stop me thinking that im part of the cause sometimes though...
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Just be supportive. Ask her if there is anything you can do to cheer her up. Let her know if she needs anything, let you know.

If it isn't you, she will appreciate your support. If it is you, she may get over it because you being nice and not showing a self absorbed side. Hard to do because it is our nature to want to know what is going on, so you can go into self preservation mode if it is something bad.
 
I'm glad i could provide some clarity magic.

Honestly though, it takes a big person to go with it when you really like someone and you don't know why they aren't chippery. But it's so important to distinguish yourself from their emotional state. As dark navys said, be supportive and just find something else to make you happy. She'll be back for sure. But if she's anything like me she wont come back if you insist it must be about you. Honestly, that attitude burns me deeply because it shows that they don't really give a shit about you at a deep level.

Forget about the guy last night because i don't even know him and couldn't care less but in relationships that mean something that is extremely important. I appreciate that level of understanding like it's gold.
 

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nicky said:
Had a bad / weird one last night.

This guy i was seeing (less than a month) popped in. I didn't anticipate how much the pop in would annoy me. I had work problems on my mind so was a bit quiet. He was paranoid that i was distant.

An episode of wilfred finished (was watching it on my computer) and he asked to go on the internet. So i went to bed. Then he started playing loud jazz music and skattiing (i am not joking).

I asked him to turn it down then he said that he was leaving because he felt unwelcome. I said "sorry i have alot on my mind atm and I really don't want to have an argument". Anyway he didn't leave and kept talking about the fact that since i had smoked a joint I had gone really quiet etc. I told him that I'm not going to bother appeasing him (like please stay) because it's a waste of everybodies time. Then he accused me of being "fiercely independant" - I was like "what's wrong with that"
He said that I need to learn to compromise. I was like 'I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR TWO WEEKS"
Then he said i was being high maintenance and he is not happy about it. (talk about projection)

The thing is, before this happened i really started to like him. But one of my pet dislikes is people who think the emotional world of people they know is somehow a result of them. I just wanted to chill out and think about things and instead he thought i was upset over him. Ironically, it did become about him because he was hassling.
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I can see why it was a weird one....
 
Power King said:
Stereotypical female :thumbsu:

Emotionally arbitrary and possibly illogical.
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Mr Power K.
May I suggest also- a huge dose of self-importance..self-denial..asinine blathering and a hint(not that we would care to ever know nicky's true emotional statis)
of huge bullshit rhapsody.
FFS- stop the whining Nicky. These days you can choose to piss standing up. In parliament no less now.
Less whining. More sucky-sucky.:thumbsu:
 
magic_johnson! said:
This post just helped me out :thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:

My girlfriend at the moment is being distant and not chatty at all recently, but apparently it's not about me but because she's under a lot of stess at the moment. Doesn't stop me thinking that im part of the cause sometimes though...
Click to expand...

Recently the girl I was with was being quiet and when I questioned her about it I got the 'It's not you, I'm just stressed, don't worry, I just need some space'. So I gave her space and she continued to be weird so I questioned her further, and she said 'I still want to be together with you, it was nothing, I was just stressed'. However I still felt something wasn't right and in the end I was correct because a week later she dumped me because she 'didn't feel the same way'.

So yeah, hate to be negative but when they're 'stressed' for a prolonged period of time it usually isn't a good sign.
 
cats2rise said:
One of my ex's is annoying at the moment. Wasnt a bad break up, but now its just wierd.

Back in highschool In like year 9 or 10 she broke up with me in a series of texts and phonecalls, then we got back together a year later (lol @ me) and we were together for about 2 1/2, 3 years after that.

Mutually broke up a second time but I see her a fair bit as we live near each other, have to catch same public transport etc and she is always so dismissive and bitchy to me and tries to completly ignore me which I dont quite understand. Will give me evil looks, call up her curretn boyfriend and talk real loud, walk off if I say hi as I walk past etc but meh. The problems obviously with her. Not after a friendship but common courtesy wouldnt be too hard considering we run into each other about once a fortnight.

Also saw her at my best mates 21st a few months ago. She has a new boyfriend but he wasnt there and she was being the biggest sl** trying to make me jealous by being all over my mates and then looking at me sideways etc.
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Simple solution- just ignore her and have a good time
 
r dub 19 said:
Simple solution- just ignore her and have a good time
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This is true. The fact that she acts like that clearly indicates that she is still not over you, ie she wants to piss you off. The greatest thing would be to act as if it genuinely doesn't phase you. It's good for you because it indicates you've moved on, and it's bad for her because it will tear her up inside.
 

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had a bloke on footy trip one year that didnt play footy just a mate of a bloke that did play and broke up with his gf to be able to go on footy trip. got arrested on footy trip and asked his now ex gf to come help him get out of trouble. needless to say she didnt help him.
 
Power King said:
This is true. The fact that she acts like that clearly indicates that she is still not over you, ie she wants to piss you off. The greatest thing would be to act as if it genuinely doesn't phase you. It's good for you because it indicates you've moved on, and it's bad for her because it will tear her up inside.
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Thanks guys. Like I said, the problem must be hers and I usually just shake my head. Cant help but laugh, but at the time gee its shit... especially because she was all over some of my mates. Cant help but get annoyed at that.
 
cats2rise said:
Thanks guys. Like I said, the problem must be hers and I usually just shake my head. Cant help but laugh, but at the time gee its shit... especially because she was all over some of my mates. Cant help but get annoyed at that.
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Get your friends a free feel up pass.... IMO get them to buy you a beer and stop being so whiney. Not everyone in life is gonna love you
 
cats2rise said:
Thanks guys. Like I said, the problem must be hers and I usually just shake my head. Cant help but laugh, but at the time gee its shit... especially because she was all over some of my mates. Cant help but get annoyed at that.
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Yes but you need to think of it the other way. When she does this it means she is hurting and is trying to make you feel the same way. It's a weak mindgame girls play. Best thing to do is just root her mum or best friend :thumbsu:
 
r dub 19 said:
Yes but you need to think of it the other way. When she does this it means she is hurting and is trying to make you feel the same way. It's a weak mindgame girls play. Best thing to do is just root her mum or best friend :thumbsu:
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Her sister is pretty hot.
 

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getthefooty said:
Recently the girl I was with was being quiet and when I questioned her about it I got the 'It's not you, I'm just stressed, don't worry, I just need some space'. So I gave her space and she continued to be weird so I questioned her further, and she said 'I still want to be together with you, it was nothing, I was just stressed'. However I still felt something wasn't right and in the end I was correct because a week later she dumped me because she 'didn't feel the same way'.

So yeah, hate to be negative but when they're 'stressed' for a prolonged period of time it usually isn't a good sign.
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She comes home from being in Perth soon. Have had a few conversations with her recently, but have mostly left her to cool her heels. When she comes back I'm gonna ask her to do something with me. I'll find out then i spose :o. Best i can do is give her her space and hope for the best i spose :thumbsu:
 
getthefooty said:
Recently the girl I was with was being quiet and when I questioned her about it I got the 'It's not you, I'm just stressed, don't worry, I just need some space'. So I gave her space and she continued to be weird so I questioned her further, and she said 'I still want to be together with you, it was nothing, I was just stressed'. However I still felt something wasn't right and in the end I was correct because a week later she dumped me because she 'didn't feel the same way'.

So yeah, hate to be negative but when they're 'stressed' for a prolonged period of time it usually isn't a good sign.
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She comes home from being in Perth soon. Have had a few conversations with her recently, but have mostly left her to cool her heels. When she comes back I'm gonna ask her to do something with me. I'll find out then i spose :o. Best i can do is give her her space, be there for her when she needs me and hope for the best i spose :thumbsu:
 
Oh, and one thing that has confused me about this girl is she hasn't been keen on me meeting her parents. I had a chat to her dad one day, it went well i thought but she wasn't too happy about it afterward. She wouldn't tell me why (why the hell don't girls speak english) but her friend told me it was because it meant alot to her and she wanted to make it special or something, but i don't know... :(
 
magic_johnson! said:
Oh, and one thing that has confused me about this girl is she hasn't been keen on me meeting her parents. I had a chat to her dad one day, it went well i thought but she wasn't too happy about it afterward. She wouldn't tell me why (why the hell don't girls speak english) but her friend told me it was because it meant alot to her and she wanted to make it special or something, but i don't know... :(
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Pfft, as long as you talked enough sport, work and drank a beer with him then you did fine.
 
hate meeting the parents unless they are super cool. girl that i was talking about in the OP her dad was a huge hippy.......great guy could hang out at her place even if she wasnt home. nothing worse than intimidating dads. any girl im with is lucky coz i have no family so they dont have to come to bulls**t family functions and such.
 

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