We've all been there db, although not to that extent
Sorry, i went and talked to her. I said i hate how we were. She told me that she still really liked me (funny way of showing it) but things are different (wtf) and even if we don't know why they're different we can't go out and hope they go away. So she said in the meantime we "just be really good friends" and maybe get back together later. I said i can't be friends with her or be used like that and havn't spoken to her since.
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Definently
She was the freaking best girlfriend until about a month ago. Always letting me go around with mates, but eager to be with me when i wasn't etc. I really was out of my league, but she always made me feel good. She was honestly really good until she turned dog. It's funny; she used to tell me how much she hated lying, but the lying she's been doing, although not as obvious, is the worst freaking type of lying around.Big footy was right all along.
Even though you might be hurting a bit now, the right thing to do is to get on with life, and that definitely includes getting to know better females.
You're in high school, enjoy it
not sure if it's the right place or not, but got friendzoned by a girl I've been in love with for two years earlier ... it hurts so ****ing much.
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Hahah the guys on here speak gospel. She came over to me twice today, where was this a month ago? I acted cool, said a few sentances. Didn't dog her, but at the same time didn't act like it was the highlight of my day etc.You didn't take the friendship scraps she was offering and it perplexes her. You were her safety net, willing to hang around if she didn't get a better offer, and you removed yourself from that position. By doing what you did, you probably look more interesting to her as you asserted yourself.
I wouldn't suggest being cold and distant from her if she speaks to you. Just treat her like you would anyone else, but as though there are no emotional ties. Some of the time mate, the old saying about not knowing what you have got until it is gone rings true. Say hello in passing now and then, smile, act like you are completely in control of your environment. At worst, you stay where you are now. At best, it drives her nuts and she wants you back. Then it is your call and your upper hand.
Nothing better than quiet confidence, and that is coming from someone who gone through the pathetic needy/paranoid stage and the if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't stage.
Good work.
Something that's happened to me many times (once with that particular ferocity on the mind), mostly as a neurotic teenager with no self-esteem. From the ages of 16-20 I had nothing but 6 or 7 girls who I liked but they just wanted to be friends (only one that hurt as much as yours though). What I can tell you is two scenarios:
1) If you actually have fun being around her and really care about her and you can honestly (and I mean REALLY honestly with none of this self-dellusion but after a proper soul-searching mission) see yourself liking being her friend and being able to move-on and find other girls then yeah, be her friend and you will have a very rewarding friendship. One of my best friends in the whole world came from a similar scenario.
This is fraught with danger as some girls, the more melodramatic attention seekers, can also turn on you with bitterness and fury if they feel they're losing that safety net if you move on or if you get too close and they feel their world is more about you then any guys they actually want. That's happened to me and it cut me deeper then anything due to the fact that I knew I'd given up so much: put my feelings aside and took the hit of getting over her for her sake, just been her friend when she was seeking other guys when I was still enamored with her, finally getting over her and building a really strong, trusting and caring friendship and when I needed her the most (during the height of my depression for anyone keeping score, so that just made things a bit worse and lot more perplexing) she ****ed off for the most trivial of reasons, severed all ties for quite a few months and basically broadcasted that she my guts to anyone who knew the both of us. That crushed me to a point lower then any dumping, any rejection, easily the lowest point of my then young life.
The other danger is that you can't get over her after you thought you could. Then you're in too deep and you're too close to her and every passing minute with her just hurts you and just walking away would hurt her too.
2) If you know it will just hurt too much then really, let her know. And if you can't do that distance yourself and if you have to, get angry if you're not already close. Ultimately you're doing yourself a service getting angry because it's helping you deal with it even if it's not in a mature manner. The main goal is to come out the other side a happy and sane person. Being sad and feeling sorry is natural and really you have go through that for a bit but if you stay like you end up using that as a base for a pseudo-friendship as she tries to help you hook up with other girls when really all you want is her...that's a nasty catch 22 to end up in.
So you can see why you really need to take any decision you make on being a good friend to her some consideration. It's not just be her friend because that's 'right thing to do' and that's how you be 'mature', that's utter bullshit and I'm sorry ladies but you're asking too much of a bloke if you know this and just expect him to be your friend anyway. The right thing to do is do what's right for you because ultimately if you can't handle it she's going to know and it will hurt her more in the long run feeling guilty that she's hurting you. That is unless she's extremely self centred then really the right thing to do what's best for you and hope she gets a bit of a wake up call on being a good friend. But hey if you know you can be happy being her friend then she's a lucky girl and you'll be a happy bloke if you can move on and still be friends
Happened to me too many times.
Bad move. Been there, felt the same way about losing the friendship, tried to make it work. Trust me, losing the friendship in no way compares to how shit it is to continue seeing and being close with somebody you want but can't have - and watching them date other guys. You will not move on, and no girl you meet or date will be able to compete with her. And you're lying to yourself if you don't admit that deep down, you still harbour some shred of hope that you might get together with her one day.
You didn't take the friendship scraps she was offering and it perplexes her. You were her safety net, willing to hang around if she didn't get a better offer, and you removed yourself from that position. By doing what you did, you probably look more interesting to her as you asserted yourself.
I wouldn't suggest being cold and distant from her if she speaks to you. Just treat her like you would anyone else, but as though there are no emotional ties. Some of the time mate, the old saying about not knowing what you have got until it is gone rings true. Say hello in passing now and then, smile, act like you are completely in control of your environment. At worst, you stay where you are now. At best, it drives her nuts and she wants you back. Then it is your call and your upper hand.
Nothing better than quiet confidence, and that is coming from someone who gone through the pathetic needy/paranoid stage and the if it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't stage.
Good work.
not sure if it's the right place or not, but got friendzoned by a girl I've been in love with for two years earlier ... it hurts so ****ing much.
