Worst player you've ever seen?

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ioppolo

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 3, 2010
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A thread for the not so great players. I'm talking genuinely bad players, not someone like John Hastings who had a shocker of a test match but has a good ODI record and great domestic record.

I'll start off with Adelaide Strikers batsman Jono Dean. Slog is his only shot. Also a very dumb batsman.

An honourable mention to former Heat player Chris Sabburg, didn't bowl but batted at 9. Horrendous player.
 

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PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
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A thread for the not so great players. I'm talking genuinely bad players, not someone like John Hastings who had a shocker of a test match but has a good ODI record and great domestic record.

I'll start off with Adelaide Strikers batsman Jono Dean. Slog is his only shot. Also a very dumb batsman.

An honourable mention to former Heat player Chris Sabburg, didn't bowl but batted at 9. Horrendous player.
I know Johno personally. He's not as dumb as you'd think. He simply knows that his only shot at professional cricket is as a gun for hire in T20 leagues (he has a phenomenal record in the ACT and for the comets from memory and has hit some enormous scores). Pretty sure he had a decent Sydney grade career before he went to Canberra too. His brother is arguably better but hasn't focused as much on cricket.

In answer to the actual question, Bangladeshi captain Khaled Mahmud was an absolutely rank cricketer. sh*t record at all levels - an all rounder in the very base sense of the word in that his bowling was just as sh*t as his batting. 5 foot bowlers sending them down at 115kmh don't work.

Matthew Mott was reprehensibly bad.

Slow and sh*t.

As a West Indies fan we've had our fair share of 'ok we plucked so and so from club cricket and he turned into a world beater so let's do it again and hope it works' selections. Patterson Thompson sticks out as one of the worst, Rajendra Chandrika is another one.

Richard Petrie sticks out as the worst of Nz's cavalcade of dibbly dobbly bowlers
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
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Re. Dean as well, he also suffers from where he bats. A player like that stuck at 5 or 6 who only bats is almost perpetually either trying to pick up the pieces of a collapse or coming in and having to slog from the start.
 

MisterMarcus

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 20, 2009
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I can't remember his name, some English bowler during the low point of the 90s...not for his bowling, but his batting.

I remember this guy holding his bat like a metre in front of him and half-hiding behind it when he was facing up. Pretty much openly admitting he was scared.
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
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I can't remember his name, some English bowler during the low point of the 90s...not for his bowling, but his batting.

I remember this guy holding his bat like a metre in front of him and half-hiding behind it when he was facing up. Pretty much openly admitting he was scared.
Allan Mulally?
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
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England in the 90s are an easy target but looking back its remarkable that it took them so long to get their act together.

An attack based around Fraser, Caddick, Gough, occasional cameos from Malcolm or Tufnell, batsmen like Atherton (record doesn't do him justice), Stewart, Thorpe and Hussain - they shouldn't have been as bad as they were.
 

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Damon_3388

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England in the 90s are an easy target but looking back its remarkable that it took them so long to get their act together.

An attack based around Fraser, Caddick, Gough, occasional cameos from Malcolm or Tufnell, batsmen like Atherton (record doesn't do him justice), Stewart, Thorpe and Hussain - they shouldn't have been as bad as they were.
Were they really that bad overall, or did they just mentally crumble against and get outplayed by better Australian sides?
 

PhatBoy

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Were they really that bad overall, or did they just mentally crumble against and get outplayed by better Australian sides?
They battled full stop. They obviously went worse against Australia than anyone but they were pretty horrible in general.
 

worbod

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 26, 2008
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One of my favourite bits of graffiti came from the 1989 Ashes. Thatcher Out, to which someone had added lbw Alderman.
Didn't Graham Gooch also change his phone answering service message at one point?
"I'm out at the moment...probably lbw to Terry Alderman"
 
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Damon_3388

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Western Australian tweaker Jamie Stewart was pretty f***in average. Couldn't bat and somehow managed 20 Shield matches averaging 53 with the ball.
Going one better, Aaron O'Brien managed 49 Shield matches averaging 56 with the ball. To be fair, he did score a FC century at some stage, but he was very no-rounderish and it's a bit puzzling why he was given so many chances with two states.

He didn't really play that many games, but Scott Coyte was aggresively mediocre across the six years he spent in and around the NSW and Sydney Thunder squads.
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
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Going one better, Aaron O'Brien managed 49 Shield matches averaging 56 with the ball. To be fair, he did score a FC century at some stage, but he was very no-rounderish and it's a bit puzzling why he was given so many chances with two states.

He didn't really play that many games, but Scott Coyte was aggresively mediocre across the six years he spent in and around the NSW and Sydney Thunder squads.
Yeah Coyte was putrid. Can't believe O'Brien got that many games.
 

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