Roast Ya Gotta Hate

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BLUEALLTHRU said:
:( still there must be a couple of cracking shots in the round to keep you interested:)
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It was a bit of a nearly round. Nearly drove well , nearly putted well, nearly played well.:D
 
Gotta hate having the perfect girl and pushing her away with too much positive reinforcement.

My three relationships before this one always needed to be told how loved and adored they were or else they'd become insecure in themselves. I finally meet an amazing woman who when treated the way I've been conditioned to treat women - making them my queen - runs away because I pushed too hard. She's even a Carlton fan. We have everything in common. Same sports teams, same music, movies, morals, her father is ex-Army like mine, etc, etc. And I pushed her away by loving too hard too fast.

Is there anything that I can do to win her back? Any women (or guys who have been successful) have any advice to win a girl back? I'm totally convinced that she is the one.
 
Wickzki said:
Gotta hate having the perfect girl and pushing her away with too much positive reinforcement.

My three relationships before this one always needed to be told how loved and adored they were or else they'd become insecure in themselves. I finally meet an amazing woman who when treated the way I've been conditioned to treat women - making them my queen - runs away because I pushed too hard. She's even a Carlton fan. We have everything in common. Same sports teams, same music, movies, morals, her father is ex-Army like mine, etc, etc. And I pushed her away by loving too hard too fast.

Is there anything that I can do to win her back? Any women (or guys who have been successful) have any advice to win a girl back? I'm totally convinced that she is the one.
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By the sounds of it, I'd give her a bit of space for the time being. If it is indeed right, she'll know before too long.
 
Jatz said:
By the sounds of it, I'd give her a bit of space for the time being. If it is indeed right, she'll know before too long.
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Thanks. She knows I'm out of town for the time being. Will see what happens in the days or week after I'm back.
 

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MEB_ said:
How long were you dating for?
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A short while. Enough for her to feel good enough invite me to stay overnight in a hotel with her, etc.

It wasn't so much the time but rather the fact she is mid-thirties and I'm the first guy she's ever really dated (in some ways its like dating the 40 year old virgin, but she's so worth it!). So she had never heard a guy tell her that he loved her before. And I got carried away and lathered it on too thick.
 
Wickzki said:
A short while. Enough for her to feel good enough invite me to stay overnight in a hotel with her, etc.

It wasn't so much the time but rather the fact she is mid-thirties and I'm the first guy she's ever really dated (in some ways its like dating the 40 year old virgin, but she's so worth it!). So she had never heard a guy tell her that he loved her before. And I got carried away and lathered it on too thick.
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I must admit, being described as 'perfect' would give me the heebie-jeebies. I wouldn't try to win her back as such--just give her space as Jatz mentioned and then see if she'd like to catch up. Explain yourself to her, that you really like her but you understand that you've been over enthusiastic and you'll definitely rein it in.
 
Wickzki said:
A short while. Enough for her to feel good enough invite me to stay overnight in a hotel with her, etc.

It wasn't so much the time but rather the fact she is mid-thirties and I'm the first guy she's ever really dated (in some ways its like dating the 40 year old virgin, but she's so worth it!). So she had never heard a guy tell her that he loved her before. And I got carried away and lathered it on too thick.
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So that would explain the trepidation she has towards the attention you were giving her. Just too much too soon.
 
Wickzki said:
Gotta hate having the perfect girl and pushing her away with too much positive reinforcement.

My three relationships before this one always needed to be told how loved and adored they were or else they'd become insecure in themselves. I finally meet an amazing woman who when treated the way I've been conditioned to treat women - making them my queen - runs away because I pushed too hard. She's even a Carlton fan. We have everything in common. Same sports teams, same music, movies, morals, her father is ex-Army like mine, etc, etc. And I pushed her away by loving too hard too fast.

Is there anything that I can do to win her back? Any women (or guys who have been successful) have any advice to win a girl back? I'm totally convinced that she is the one.
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remember the Seinfeld episode when Jerry dates himself - doesn't work as it is just vanilla- sometimes you need to go all boysenberry ripple to make that perfect dessert. Remember its not you...its her that walked away from being a queen
 
blue gunslinger said:
remember the Seinfeld episode when Jerry dates himself - doesn't work as it is just vanilla- sometimes you need to go all boysenberry ripple to make that perfect dessert. Remember its not you...its her that walked away from being a queen
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With this advice I have decided to move on with my life and to stop wallowing in stupid self pity as it gets you nowhere. I received an FB message from her bestie an hour or so ago. She said "There's no talking sense into her. You're the best thing that has happened in her life for years. You keep being you because you did nothing wrong at all. If you did, she'd have told me. She will either wake up before you've moved on or when it's too late for her. Either way, you're a top bloke in my book."

Worst thing to come out of it is that I now feel like Luke Hodge.
 
Wickzki said:
With this advice I have decided to move on with my life and to stop wallowing in stupid self pity as it gets you nowhere. I received an FB message from her bestie an hour or so ago. She said "There's no talking sense into her. You're the best thing that has happened in her life for years. You keep being you because you did nothing wrong at all. If you did, she'd have told me. She will either wake up before you've moved on or when it's too late for her. Either way, you're a top bloke in my book."

Worst thing to come out of it is that I now feel like Luke Hodge.
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Are you sure her bestie doesn’t want you?
 
BlueBelle said:
Are you sure her bestie doesn’t want you?
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We only met for dinner, once. Went to a concert with her. She left midway through the concert, told the girl I was dating that I was a sweetie and that she was glad she'd done well. We haven't spent nearly enough time together for that to be close to a reality. At least that I think.

If anything, I think that she was trying to do the whole "Well, if my friend can't, I'll let him down gently." I've spoken to neither of them since.
 
MEB_ said:
I must admit, being described as 'perfect' would give me the heebie-jeebies. I wouldn't try to win her back as such--just give her space as Jatz mentioned and then see if she'd like to catch up. Explain yourself to her, that you really like her but you understand that you've been over enthusiastic and you'll definitely rein it in.
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Pretty much the same advice I gave him on facebook :D Give her space and let her make up her own mind.
 
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