Dennis Trumpet
Toot Toot
As i was leaving the Mobbs medal tonight in the Uber that Butler ordered for me after he found me passed out in the urinals , i found myself wondering how did it all go so wrong? I was missing a shoe, my pants were covered in piss, which would normally have me upset, but considering i'd ripped a hole in the arse of them too, i no longer had to worry about the dry cleaning cost. My belt was also missing, i think haydo23 might have borrowed it after losing the medal in the last round in which he was suspended. There were red wine stains all over my shirt, despite not drinking any and the complimentary wizz-fizz that i received upon arrival had left a sinister looking white smudge on my tie.
I had made a real ass of myself
At least i still had my suit jacket, or so i thought. A glint of light from the red rooster drive through revealed that the name HaroLad had been embossed on the collar. I didn't dwell on the disappointment too long though with some piping hot red rooster cheesy nuggets soon to satisfy my grumbling stomach.
With the chicken at my fingertips i eagerly tucked in. But it wasn't satisfying. I felt hollow, completely empty. The more nuggets that went in, the emptier i felt. Whilst everybody else was off celebrating ALL-SFA nominations, or polishing medals or even preparing for a grand final, i was gorging myself on lies. Chicken is temporary, but awards are permanent. They can never be taken away, and what did i have to show for season 23? nothing. ABSOLUTLELY NOTHING!!!!!!!! Sure i'd had the odd eye-catching moment and caused an occasional melt or two, but these moments were fleeting, and without realizing it, i was now dangling on the slippery slope to Qooty irrelevancy like many others such as Marlowe had before.
I need to recapture my edge and attempt to scale the mountain once again.
So now its time for my new season resolution. A larger match thread presence, more Schlongs, more media, more self-indulgent puff pieces about myself. I will win a season 24 premiership medal. I will win the Season 24 Mobbs medal. I will win the season 24 Beez trophy, and be the all Sweet FA rover and Captain, and my puppet account will win the EKA.
So watch out flogs, laugh at my delusions all you want. Dennis ClarkeM is coming for you all.
I had made a real ass of myself
At least i still had my suit jacket, or so i thought. A glint of light from the red rooster drive through revealed that the name HaroLad had been embossed on the collar. I didn't dwell on the disappointment too long though with some piping hot red rooster cheesy nuggets soon to satisfy my grumbling stomach.
With the chicken at my fingertips i eagerly tucked in. But it wasn't satisfying. I felt hollow, completely empty. The more nuggets that went in, the emptier i felt. Whilst everybody else was off celebrating ALL-SFA nominations, or polishing medals or even preparing for a grand final, i was gorging myself on lies. Chicken is temporary, but awards are permanent. They can never be taken away, and what did i have to show for season 23? nothing. ABSOLUTLELY NOTHING!!!!!!!! Sure i'd had the odd eye-catching moment and caused an occasional melt or two, but these moments were fleeting, and without realizing it, i was now dangling on the slippery slope to Qooty irrelevancy like many others such as Marlowe had before.
I need to recapture my edge and attempt to scale the mountain once again.
So now its time for my new season resolution. A larger match thread presence, more Schlongs, more media, more self-indulgent puff pieces about myself. I will win a season 24 premiership medal. I will win the Season 24 Mobbs medal. I will win the season 24 Beez trophy, and be the all Sweet FA rover and Captain, and my puppet account will win the EKA.
So watch out flogs, laugh at my delusions all you want. Dennis ClarkeM is coming for you all.
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