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*** OFFICIAL MANCHESTER UNITED PLC SUPPORTERS QUESTIONNAIRE ***
*** WE WANT TO ENSURE THAT ALL OF OUR FANS GET SERVICED BY THE CLUB ***
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SECTION ONE - ABOUT YOU
United Membership Number : __________________
This number can be found on back of Official United Megastore Club card, probably blu-tacked to your headboard, underneath pictures of Lee Sharpe and Pamela Anderson. You don't have a girlfriend do you? Thought so.
Cost of membership? £_____
How much are you prepared to pay next season? £_____
Even if it doesn't guarantee you any tickets for any of the games? £ ___
Sorry, I forgot. You get free admission to United reserves games. In Bury. And a badge. Bargain.
Your Preferred United Kickoff Time: Sunday 4pm / Monday 8pm
Your home town: London / Basildon / St Ives / Manchester (like really)
Your big match seat: Sofa / Armchair / In bed (with Giggsy bedspread)
Your view: Biased / Blocked (picture of Eric) / Blocked (beer belly)
Have you ever considered going to Old Trafford? _______
Where were YOU when United were ****?_________
TICK all of the teams that you've supported over the past five years:
Liverpool ___ Leeds United ___ Arsenal ___
TICK all of the teams you'll be supporting next year?
Newcastle United ___ Glasgow Rangers ___
Number of your mates who now support United? ____________________
Number of Mancunians (if any): _
Number claiming to be lifelong United fans? ____________________
SECTION TWO - UNITED FACTS AND FIGURES 2001/02 SEASON
Number of punches thrown by Keane and Butt? _____
Number of times Keane and Butt told ref to **** OFF? _____
Define, in your own words, the meaning of the phrase "role model".
Number of yellow cards United got? _____
Number of red cards United got? _____
Number of disciplinary points accumulated this year? _____
Take time to express your true feelings of pride at these statistics. In fact why not set up your own internet page just to broadcast the fact? And while you're about it. let's hear why Eric shouldn't have been kicked out of football again...
SECTION THREE - THE FOOTBALLING ESTABLISHMENT
1. Number of decisions that go United's way when they're losing? ___
2. Number of incorrect and blatantly biased decisions? ___
Does Total 2 minus Total 1 equal zero? It does? Thought so. Now define the word "cheat". Extra marks for using the word "bribery".
Tick HERE ____ for your very own personalised copy of the Official Salford Refereeing Alliance Handbook
SAMPLE:
If United are losing, how many minutes does "injury time" last?
CIRCLE 1 2 3 7 25 120 9538
Just why do BSkyB TV host, update and sponsor the United WWW page?
Just why do the BBC hold shares in Manchester United PLC?
Just explain the concept of fair and unbiased football coverage. Go on.
SECTION FOUR - UNITED IN THE FUTURE
PLAYER OF THE SEASON
David Beckham ___ (Shagging posh spice, say no more except he's a ****er.)
Roy Keane ___ (even if he's been suspended for half the season)
The Referees ___ (get United more goals than Forlan and at half the price)
THE TRANSFER MARKET
Name the next player rumoured to be "on his way to Old Trafford" (speculate as much as you like, Ferguson won't be buying anyone).
Name the next youth player you'd like to see approached by United. What underhand, illegal tactics and incentives should be employed this time?
UNITED COLOURS OF MANCHESTER
What colour would you like next seasons kits to be?
Home kit:
Away kit:
Second Away kit:
Sunday Afternoon kit:
Monday Evening Exclusively Sponsored by Ford and Sky WWW page kit:
Midweek Print-your-own-Money European Super League kit:
Do you intend buying them all? You do? Thought so.
SECTION FIVE - THE QUIZ ON MANCHESTER'S FAVOURITE SON - DIEGO FORLAN
1.How much did Diego cost? £__,___,___,___,___,___,___,___,___.00p 2.How
much? You must be joking??? 3.Number of shots Diego had during the season???
___ 4.Number ofDiego's shots that hit the bar? ___ 5.Number of Diego's shots
that hit the post? ___ 6.Number of Diego's shots that hit the corner flag?
___ 7.Number of Diego's shots that hit the keeper? ___ 8.Number of Diego's
shots that hit the roof (of the stadium)? ___ 9.Number of Diego's shots that
hit the bar (of the nearest pub)? ___
Now add up the totals for questions 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. They should add up
to the total for question 3. They do? Thought so.
Which ONE of the following DID Forlan manage to hit this season?
Back of the Net ___ Decent Cross ___ Barn Door ___ Opponent ___
Sky's best excuse for Forlan missing an open goal this year?_____________
Taken from King of the Kippax www.kingkippax.fsnet.co.uk
*** OFFICIAL MANCHESTER UNITED PLC SUPPORTERS QUESTIONNAIRE ***
*** WE WANT TO ENSURE THAT ALL OF OUR FANS GET SERVICED BY THE CLUB ***
****************************************************
SECTION ONE - ABOUT YOU
United Membership Number : __________________
This number can be found on back of Official United Megastore Club card, probably blu-tacked to your headboard, underneath pictures of Lee Sharpe and Pamela Anderson. You don't have a girlfriend do you? Thought so.
Cost of membership? £_____
How much are you prepared to pay next season? £_____
Even if it doesn't guarantee you any tickets for any of the games? £ ___
Sorry, I forgot. You get free admission to United reserves games. In Bury. And a badge. Bargain.
Your Preferred United Kickoff Time: Sunday 4pm / Monday 8pm
Your home town: London / Basildon / St Ives / Manchester (like really)
Your big match seat: Sofa / Armchair / In bed (with Giggsy bedspread)
Your view: Biased / Blocked (picture of Eric) / Blocked (beer belly)
Have you ever considered going to Old Trafford? _______
Where were YOU when United were ****?_________
TICK all of the teams that you've supported over the past five years:
Liverpool ___ Leeds United ___ Arsenal ___
TICK all of the teams you'll be supporting next year?
Newcastle United ___ Glasgow Rangers ___
Number of your mates who now support United? ____________________
Number of Mancunians (if any): _
Number claiming to be lifelong United fans? ____________________
SECTION TWO - UNITED FACTS AND FIGURES 2001/02 SEASON
Number of punches thrown by Keane and Butt? _____
Number of times Keane and Butt told ref to **** OFF? _____
Define, in your own words, the meaning of the phrase "role model".
Number of yellow cards United got? _____
Number of red cards United got? _____
Number of disciplinary points accumulated this year? _____
Take time to express your true feelings of pride at these statistics. In fact why not set up your own internet page just to broadcast the fact? And while you're about it. let's hear why Eric shouldn't have been kicked out of football again...
SECTION THREE - THE FOOTBALLING ESTABLISHMENT
1. Number of decisions that go United's way when they're losing? ___
2. Number of incorrect and blatantly biased decisions? ___
Does Total 2 minus Total 1 equal zero? It does? Thought so. Now define the word "cheat". Extra marks for using the word "bribery".
Tick HERE ____ for your very own personalised copy of the Official Salford Refereeing Alliance Handbook
SAMPLE:
If United are losing, how many minutes does "injury time" last?
CIRCLE 1 2 3 7 25 120 9538
Just why do BSkyB TV host, update and sponsor the United WWW page?
Just why do the BBC hold shares in Manchester United PLC?
Just explain the concept of fair and unbiased football coverage. Go on.
SECTION FOUR - UNITED IN THE FUTURE
PLAYER OF THE SEASON
David Beckham ___ (Shagging posh spice, say no more except he's a ****er.)
Roy Keane ___ (even if he's been suspended for half the season)
The Referees ___ (get United more goals than Forlan and at half the price)
THE TRANSFER MARKET
Name the next player rumoured to be "on his way to Old Trafford" (speculate as much as you like, Ferguson won't be buying anyone).
Name the next youth player you'd like to see approached by United. What underhand, illegal tactics and incentives should be employed this time?
UNITED COLOURS OF MANCHESTER
What colour would you like next seasons kits to be?
Home kit:
Away kit:
Second Away kit:
Sunday Afternoon kit:
Monday Evening Exclusively Sponsored by Ford and Sky WWW page kit:
Midweek Print-your-own-Money European Super League kit:
Do you intend buying them all? You do? Thought so.
SECTION FIVE - THE QUIZ ON MANCHESTER'S FAVOURITE SON - DIEGO FORLAN
1.How much did Diego cost? £__,___,___,___,___,___,___,___,___.00p 2.How
much? You must be joking??? 3.Number of shots Diego had during the season???
___ 4.Number ofDiego's shots that hit the bar? ___ 5.Number of Diego's shots
that hit the post? ___ 6.Number of Diego's shots that hit the corner flag?
___ 7.Number of Diego's shots that hit the keeper? ___ 8.Number of Diego's
shots that hit the roof (of the stadium)? ___ 9.Number of Diego's shots that
hit the bar (of the nearest pub)? ___
Now add up the totals for questions 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. They should add up
to the total for question 3. They do? Thought so.
Which ONE of the following DID Forlan manage to hit this season?
Back of the Net ___ Decent Cross ___ Barn Door ___ Opponent ___
Sky's best excuse for Forlan missing an open goal this year?_____________
Taken from King of the Kippax www.kingkippax.fsnet.co.uk
