Any jokes, funny or lame, to do with sports, put em here
Golf - ruins a perfectly good walk
Golf - ruins a perfectly good walk
Sport Jokes
- Thread starter Mitchell Madness
- Start date
- Tagged users None
A husband makes a call to the hospital to know about his pregnant wife. But he rings the wrong number and calls the cricket stadium by mistake.
He asked "What is the condition?"
He fainted after what he heard….
Guess what the reply was??
It was…
7 are already out...
3 more will be out by lunch…and...The first one was a duck.
He asked "What is the condition?"
He fainted after what he heard….
Guess what the reply was??
It was…
7 are already out...
3 more will be out by lunch…and...The first one was a duck.
Q:Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A:In case he got a hole in one.
Q:What's the difference between a crap golfer and a crap skydiver?
A: A crap golfer goes...Smack! Oh crap! and a crap skydiver goes...Oh crap! Smack!
A:In case he got a hole in one.
Q:What's the difference between a crap golfer and a crap skydiver?
A: A crap golfer goes...Smack! Oh crap! and a crap skydiver goes...Oh crap! Smack!
George said to Fred, "I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one."
"Wow! You must be loaded!", said Fred.
"Not really," said George, "The rest of the field came in at twelve thirty."
"Wow! You must be loaded!", said Fred.
"Not really," said George, "The rest of the field came in at twelve thirty."
...After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's recreational preferences:
- The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball.
- The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
- The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
- The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
- The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
- The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.
Quadzilla
Brownlow Medallist
- May 21, 2005
- 17,792
- 14,019
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Power, Magpies, Swamprats, Whales
Tiger Woods has just been named player of the decade. Evidently he's not bad at golf either.
Not a bad joke.
Pie 4 Life
Hall of Famer
What do golf and sex have in common?
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Quadzilla
Brownlow Medallist
- May 21, 2005
- 17,792
- 14,019
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Power, Magpies, Swamprats, Whales
India has beaten Pakistan in the first test by 4 wickets on day 4-game to be played next week
BREAKING NEWS: Police interview a third Collingwood player over the sexual assault allegations, the name was released today and it's Leon Davis. Davis claims he was there but never got a touch.
A family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel Sport the son picks up a Richmond footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become a Tiger supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Winfields and says, "Go and talk to Mum."
Off goes the little lad with the Richmond footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Tiger supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Let's go and talk to your father."
Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours with footy jumper in hand and finds Bubba, his father. "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Richmond supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the rec room to the other for further good measure. About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home (Reservoir). The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes Knackers, I have." "Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Richmond supporter for an hour and already I hate you Collingwood bastards."
Off goes the little lad with the Richmond footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Tiger supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Let's go and talk to your father."
Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours with footy jumper in hand and finds Bubba, his father. "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Richmond supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the rec room to the other for further good measure. About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home (Reservoir). The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes Knackers, I have." "Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Richmond supporter for an hour and already I hate you Collingwood bastards."
A guy named Joe receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline.
He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, Joe asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man says "No."
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?!"
The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first SuperBowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," said Joe, "but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?" "No," the man replies, "They're all at the funeral."
He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, Joe asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man says "No."
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?!"
The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first SuperBowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," said Joe, "but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?" "No," the man replies, "They're all at the funeral."
