Health Depression

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Been battling anxiety for the past couple of years, and I think a bit (I know) of depression has crept in. Over the past month I've been weaning myself off medication, and its been a bit about a week since I took my last one, bizzare sort of feelings and sensations, drowsy, these shock type feelings but I think I'm slowly getting over it. In hindsight, I probably wish I didn't go on them, I needed to address the main issue which a poster alluded to on the previous page. I'm not saying they weren't totally beneficial, and I think they took the edge off things, but I've found really getting my diet and exercise regime in to order has probably helped more. I've always been pretty active, and haven't eaten that bad, but really getting it in to check over the past couple of years, I hope will help over the next few months and in to the future.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting time and letting life slip away to a degree (I'm 22), but I just need to keep reminding myself it's a bad period and it will hopefully get better soon enough. I travelled last year throughout Europe for 3 months, which was probably the best thing I've ever done, met a lot of people over the past few years too and have a great group of friends. I just find it difficult to try and tell people and I feel sometimes that no one understands.

I guess I've also opened myself up a bit more, which I know is a good thing, I've set out a couple of goals this year and hopefully they can be achieved. I feel I still have a long way to go, but I'm hoping that everything can pull together and I can really just start to enjoy life again. Bit of a ramble but thats my take on things.
 
Cotchin 9 said:
Been battling anxiety for the past couple of years, and I think a bit (I know) of depression has crept in. Over the past month I've been weaning myself off medication, and its been a bit about a week since I took my last one, bizzare sort of feelings and sensations, drowsy, these shock type feelings but I think I'm slowly getting over it..
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Not a good idea to wean yourself off medication without a doctor or psychiatrist guiding you through it. Those shock feelings come from withdrawal, but nobody knows what they are exactly, which is worrying.
 

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So I finished my course in November, had a bit of live audio work that happened over December. And now it's all dried up.

My "career" is just not happening. I'm not working, I start guitar teaching 2 days a week in 2 weeks, but apart from that I've got nothing. I put my resume in everywhere, I try asking around, I ring people I've worked for previously (and got good review off of), and nothing happens. Most of the time I don't even hear back from them, even if I've worked for them fairly hard before. I'm talking 18 hour days.

I'm sick of always trying to organise everything only to have it thrown back in my face by other people, and people ignoring my texts/calls/whatever else when I'm trying to organise something. Don't say you're interested and then keep offering up bullshit excuses. And this isn't personal, this is professional endeavours as well.

At the moment, my career is going nowhere. My love life is a joke. I don't really have a reason to live. This doesn't mean I'm going to kill myself. But the thing is that I feel like I'm just there. That's it, nothing more. Like there's nothing out there for me and nothing is going to happen. I've been fed the same shtick for the last 21 years of my life, after being smart enough and working hard enough to do most things but never really getting success in everything, I've been told "It'll happen".

Well I'm 21. No job. No girlfriend. Hardly any friends. Doing nothing all day. And I'm sick of it.
 
Well I've probably been dealing with this for about 4 years now, that was the last time was actually happy with my life, even then, I'm not sure if that's how I'd describe it. I seriously have no motivation to do anything with my life. I've spent the last 6 months doing absolutely nothing besides working a couple days a week since I've taken a break from Uni. I spent all day either on my computer cycling through the same sites, playing video games or watching something. I have a few close friends that I barely see but still talk to quite a bit, that's nice. I really can't see a future with happiness right now. I'm not miserable 24/7 but it consumes a lot of my life. Not looking forward to Uni at all, I'm really not good around strangers so I can get really anxious.

Just needed to say that.
 
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Gotta just keep fighting guys.
Don't let it beat you.

For myself I like to think that everyone gets tested in their life. Some sort of chellenge to overcome.

I'll be stuffed if I'm going to let this beat me.

Not sure if that will help anyone because we are all different and have different triggers. It helps me push on when I want to give up.

Stick at it
 
I don't know if it has already been discussed. But I've long held the notion that the more contented people are those that have a good relationship with their father, not that those people are consciously thinking that. At the very least, there has to be a clear understanding of the role they have and the affect they have on you outside the relationship.
 
As I write this today I find myself in an increasingly difficult situation as my partner and the mum of my 3 beautiful kids and my parents dont get along at all, so much so that they dont come to visit and I cant really take the kids to see them for fear of the s**t fight
Both parties are at fault but I am copping the blame
I am torn and just dont see a conclusion
I hate my mum smoking around the kids and I hate that they very rarely show an interest, but at the same time I hate being told what I can and cant do with my kids and I want them to be more active grandparents
Its catch 22, and I see no way out
 
Glacier said:
As I write this today I find myself in an increasingly difficult situation as my partner and the mum of my 3 beautiful kids and my parents dont get along at all. They dont come to visit and I cant really take the kids to see them for fear of the s**t fight
Both parties are at fault but I am copping the blame I am torn and just dont see a conclusion
I hate my mum smoking around the kids and I hate that they very rarely show an interest, but at the same time I hate being told what I can and cant do with my kids and I want them to be more active grandparents
Its catch 22, and I see no way out
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Again, I don't wish to trivialize and I'm sure others will have different solutions to problems but one of the most liberating things one can do is to take command and be honest.
Honest to your mum, honest to your partner and honest to your kids and if that honesty and transparency isn't good enough, then so be it.

I won't cite all my reference points here but if the best of you isn't good enough today, then it won't be tomorrow either, but if you're honest then you don't own the problem any more. Not saying it's easy but I can tell you that's it's liberating.
 
Does thinking of myself as deeper than everyone around me make me a dickhead?
 
Engimal said:
Does thinking of myself as deeper than everyone around me make me a dickhead?
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I think it's a natural effect from suffering from depression (I don't know if you did or not).

I've had the same thoughts as well, and I still somewhat do, but I try to curb those thoughts. I've realised that a lot of people go through their own struggles, even if it's not depression, and in the end, they probably have deeper thoughts.

At the end of the day, when you interact with people socially, it would be "shallow" stuff in comparison, because no one wants to be that Debbie downer and off the bat go deep when interacting with someone you don't know them well.
 
One common thought process that sufferers of depression find themselves thinking about is measuring who they are by the thing they arent. I might not be wealthy, I dont have many friends, Im not skinny are just some of the thing that Im not. But because i am none of those things means they arent who i am. I used to dwell on the character traits that i didnt have and it upset me, made me depressed.

In time i learned to appreciate the qualities i did have. I am kind, I am friendly, I learned i got something out of helping others. I started to neasure myself by my good qualities. I focused my energy into what i could do to be a better human. Being polite, using manners when dealing with strangers, offering compliments, talking to people and finding out their stories and them appreciating me listening. I stopped focusing on me and focused on connecting with others. In time i became proud of myself. I will talk and say hello to anyone and my life is better by doing some simple things that make us all better humans.

Im still not wealthy, Im still not skinny but i have a few more friends and i thankfully dont have murky, dark and unwanted thoughts swimming around in my head telling me Im no good and a waste of space.

Hope this helps
 

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Lethality said:
I have recently formed the view that depression is only a small reason for my outward demeanour and inner thoughts. The rest is probably inherited or learned as according to my ability. In other words, depression isn't the problem, I'm the problem.
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I've almost gone the other way. Everything I do that I find myself regretting, I blame on my depression. I've go to the point of using depression as a crutch for my character flaws and unsociability.
That way I don't have to do anything to fix myself, its all because I have an illness. And it is, of course, all bullshit.

But, so I'm told, depression is more likely in people with certain traits. Introspection and introversion among those. I was told those ones because they are my most obvious traits that feed the cycle. With you it will no doubt be different.
Then the depression drives those further, which is why referred to it as a cycle. So it is quite possible you are partially correct that the traits in your normal thoughts and demeanour would exist even without any depressive feature. The depression may make those traits stronger, or perhaps add news ones.



That's not my reason for jumping on to this thread though. And now I can't even bring myself on a (hopefully) anonymous forum to explain why I now have a resignation letter sitting in my drafts folder ready to send. I've been sitting here crying on and off through the cricket how I may have inadvertantly hurt people through smething I knew to be a breach oif trust at the time. I meant no pain to anyone, it was just a stupid blabbermouth moment. Made worse by the fact that some other things may have been invovled, not least jealousy (something that by my age shoud have disappeared decades ago).
In essence, I failed in everything I believe in - and people I like might get hurt as a result.

I said something stupid which may blow back like this, and feel I have little choice but to leave before anything occurs along those lines (it would - quite rightly - be everyone v 1 anyway, just like high school - and I cannot face that).
Resigning will mean spending the rest of my life unemployed, as my limited skill set is all done from India these days and there are thousands of better qualified unemployed in the field in Australia.

But I am not sure that life will be much longer anyway, so that doesn't matter too much. After having suicidal thoughts a few months back, for the first time since high school 25 years ago, I'm a bit concerned about the return of those whether I resign or not. Its sitting there ready to be sent. About the only wise thing I've done is give myself time to decide whether to send or not.
 
Piss Poor said:
I'm getting extremely tired of my life, I feel like I live a goundhog day routine over and over. I'm so bored with my life, but I honestly don't think I can fix it, no matter what I do, I cant find enjoyment in things any more, I could go on a holiday but that wont get rid of these feelings I have. I hate work, in fact it wouldn't matter what job I have, just the fact of having to do it, actually make that forced to do it, so I can survive and pay for ridiculous money making scum organisations like Energy/Water, Banks and Corrupt Government Scams like the one we have, the cost of living has drained me to the point where I couldn't give a stuff if I wasn't around any more, I don't care any more about my existence, I don't care that I haven't made an imprint on this life and will likely be remembered as a John Doe. I never asked for life, it was bestowed upon me.

The only thing that's keeping me here is my family, I love them too much to end my life, although I fear when the day if something ever happen to them.
.
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What is your occupation? Do you have a family of your own or are you talking about your your parents when you mention family?
 
Lethality said:
Don't electricians make a lot of money?
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Even if he's in the group that do, and not all do, the mind takes hold of thngs like "cost of living". Even when its within someone's means, it might not seem like it. Financially, maybe he's doing better than many but we all know depression doesn't always get beaten by such facts. And its not just about the finances directly, but also the drudgery involved in getting there. When you hate your job, the money is little comfort - especially if you then feel it is being scammed away.
 
red+black said:
I have a lot of reading to do in this thread, have been meaning to do it for a while, so apologies to all for not reading and responding. I've seen 3 therapists in my life. I didn't click with the first one, an old Argentinian woman, so I only saw her a few times. Then I saw an Aussie man in his 40s. He was good, but like many things, I just don't follow through and see things to the end, and I abruptly stopped going. Then in late 2012 I went to my GP and said I really needed help. He recommended someone near me and I called her and made an appointment, but I was not hopeful. And I didn't like her phone manner, she seemed too familiar with me, perhaps even not fully professional.

But I promised her and myself that I would be completely open and honest and would do whatever it takes. I will listen to advice, I will act on that advice, and I will see where that takes me. Whereas previously I had always said I would never take meds, I said if that's what it takes, so be it. And she put me on Pristiq, an SNRI for those that know what that means. And I was rather convinced it would have absolutely no effect on me. Not because I would fight it, I just couldn't comprehend how it could work. My mind was open to the possibility though.

And boy did it work. I became far more functional than I had been for a long time. I saw her regularly for about 4 months then less and less until I went overseas for a while. I stopped the meds, no problems there. And I'm in a better place now, but I could be better. My Mum says I should go back and I have considered it.

The funny thing is, I'm well educated and consider myself to be rather thoughtful and somewhat intelligent. But no one would look to me and say, he's got his s**t together, his life is in order. I have made many poor decisions and non-decisions over the years. But I seem to be cut out for listening to others and providing advice. My therapist said that, many others have said the same, and I tend to agree. During late high school and when I was university and for a while after, I did a lot of tutoring and mentoring. And I enjoyed it and was good at it. I think I'm far better at listening to and helping others than I am at improving my own life. I don't live by example just yet, unfortunately.
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Great post.. The two words I like best are towards the end " helping others". The greatest 'self help' writer that ever lived is Dale Carnegie. One of his best books he wrote is called ' How to stop worrying and start living'. In it he interviews dozens of people who have had worry and depression in their lives and finds out how they overcome their troubles.

One the biggest ways people say how they got back on track ...is to get busy helping others. Doing things for others helps you keep your mind off your own s**t situation. The satisfaction and happiness you receive from your efforts makes you feel good about life.

But I'm not talking about lending your ear to some sad sack person and listening for hours on end about their own problems. I'm talking about physical deeds that helps someone out and makes their life a bit better..... Sometimes without you expecting a heap of gratitude from the person you help.

I myself have had my fair share of down periods in life but I've never taken drug or seen a therapist. Every time life is giving me the shits I reach for Carnegie's books and force my self to read.

'How to stop worrying and start living' changed the way I looked at life. That was 20 odd years ago when I was in my 20s and still now I go through it a few times a year and remind myself what's important.

Having a job you hate is a sure fire mind killer too. If your job is bringing you down big time, focus all your energy on changing the situation. It doesn't have to happen next week, but make a solid decision to do something different in the near future.

Get Carnegie's books people. The best investment you'll ever make I guarantee... :)
 
Life ******* sucks.
 
Hey guys

I'm not sure where to begin I don't know if I suffer from depression but I do suffer from anxiety. I'm 20 and have almost finished a degree at uni but I'm at a point in my life where I just don't know what to do. I've still got no idea what I want to do in the future nothing seems to interest.

I see everyone out there living their life but I'm just sitting here watching it go by, the only friends I've got are those who I've made on a couple of forums who I speak to on facebook/ps4 but it appears I've isolated myself from everyone else. (I don't know how or why) When I do try to catch up with the people I was friends with at school they take an eternity to respond and if they do agree on going to the footy,movies, etc they end up cancelling a day or so before we're meant to meet. It seems I'm the only one bothered to try and keep these friendships alive. I think I've come to realize that these people aren't friends and will just use me whenever its convenient for them.

Everything in my life seems to be falling apart, I no longer have any motivation to do anything I just feel pretty low and can't remember the last time I was happy.

I could go into a few other things but I won't as I feel like I'm rambling now, I'm just not liking how my life is at the moment and I've got not idea how to fix it.
 
Engimal said:
Life ******* sucks.
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You want to talk about it mate? You can always pm me and a lot of others in this thread will all be here for you. Sometimes it helps to just rant at some guy you don't know.

Shane Hird said:
We are what we think. If you truely believe life sucks, then that's what you'll get.
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A word of advice and I'm speaking from experience, on both sides of the coin.

Never say that to anyone who has depression or is in a down period. All it does is make them feel worse, and does nothing to pick them up or help them out at all.
 
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