Please help me

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IschenkoUBeauty

IschenkoUBeauty

Norm Smith Medallist
Suspended
Apr 18, 2014
5,860
8,748
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Hi fellow Roo boys

Please dont make fun of me for this, i know you wont.

I've hit the wall. I have no idea who I am anymore. I'm broken as a person and I'm not sure any amount of time will fix it and return me to the person I used to be. I can take a holiday, i can try to suppress it but it lingers and it eats me up 24 hours a day. Alcohol isn't the answer anymore. I'm afraid now that in my state of mind I could venture down another path...I certainly dont want to be damaging myself further from what I am nor do I want it to affect those I love and care for. How can I define myself? I hate myself and who I am. I never give myself any credit for anything I do but I will say that I know I'm a good person and a good man. I've tears rolling down my face as I write this which is strange because I never cry. I cannot handle it any longer. People deserve to be in a place they feel content, a state of mind they can feel at home and an overall wellbeing that promotes good health. Ive not had any of those and I have nothing.

So sorry for things I might say or do on here. I've lost myself over a number of years and its all crumbling down now.

Please help me

IUB
 
IschenkoUBeauty said:
Hi fellow Roo boys

Please dont make fun of me for this, i know you wont.

I've hit the wall. I have no idea who I am anymore. I'm broken as a person and I'm not sure any amount of time will fix it and return me to the person I used to be. I can take a holiday, i can try to suppress it but it lingers and it eats me up 24 hours a day. Alcohol isn't the answer anymore. I'm afraid now that in my state of mind I could venture down another path...I certainly dont want to be damaging myself further from what I am nor do I want it to affect those I love and care for. How can I define myself? I hate myself and who I am. I never give myself any credit for anything I do but I will say that I know I'm a good person and a good man. I've tears rolling down my face as I write this which is strange because I never cry. I cannot handle it any longer. People deserve to be in a place they feel content, a state of mind they can feel at home and an overall wellbeing that promotes good health. Ive not had any of those and I have nothing.

So sorry for things I might say or do on here. I've lost myself over a number of years and its all crumbling down now.

Please help me

IUB
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You have people writing to you on the G D thread, mate. People do care about you. See my post on the G D , for a start. Don't be afraid to ask for and receive help . You deserve it, and lots of people go through this . Take care of yourself .
 
IUB, there would be other people around that have been in/are in your position. Seek some help.
 

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Get help FFS IUB. There's no shame in admitting you need it, and nothing heroic in avoiding it.
 
Sorry I missed this before now mate, but as others have said please try to get help, whether you go to your GP to get referred to a professional, calling a helpline like Beyond Blue or an online facility such as https://www.mensline.org.au. all can help.

You've been a lot of fun to have around here since you joined (even if you love Barry Hall ;)) and you're valued here as I'm sure you are in your non BF life as well.

You do deserve to feel like you are content and at peace, please take the first step, you won't regret it.
 
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Yeah get help IUB but someone ur comfortable with!! By admitting it urself ur half way there mate. Most of us in here are going through something or have been through something similar myself included...
Ffs i just saw this and was shocked. Everyone here loves u mate so keep in touch pls. One more thing keep urself busy as much as u can dont think to much! Things get better day by day even though u wont realise it they will..
 
I've battled depression on and off for many years (social anxiety and bad OCD too) and the best thing is to find someone to confide in, express yourself, seek advice and help. Sadly its a grind, but stick at it and seek help as toes said, there's nothing wrong with asking for help.
 
Saw in the GD thread that you had an appointment today IUB, hope it went well. Good on you for taking steps to get the help you deserve.
 
IUB, just wondering how you are going ? Hope all is ok.
 
IschenkoUBeauty said:
Hi fellow Roo boys

Please dont make fun of me for this, i know you wont.

I've hit the wall. I have no idea who I am anymore. I'm broken as a person and I'm not sure any amount of time will fix it and return me to the person I used to be. I can take a holiday, i can try to suppress it but it lingers and it eats me up 24 hours a day. Alcohol isn't the answer anymore. I'm afraid now that in my state of mind I could venture down another path...I certainly dont want to be damaging myself further from what I am nor do I want it to affect those I love and care for. How can I define myself? I hate myself and who I am. I never give myself any credit for anything I do but I will say that I know I'm a good person and a good man. I've tears rolling down my face as I write this which is strange because I never cry. I cannot handle it any longer. People deserve to be in a place they feel content, a state of mind they can feel at home and an overall wellbeing that promotes good health. Ive not had any of those and I have nothing.

So sorry for things I might say or do on here. I've lost myself over a number of years and its all crumbling down now.

Please help me

IUB
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How have been feeling old fella?
 
Kangaroos4eva said:
How have been feeling old fella?
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Things are going to take a bit of time I suppose but I do feel a little better. The help I've been getting has been great. My appetite is back a bit so I'm also going to try putting the weight back on that I've lost.

It hasn't been long but I feel like I've made a lot of progress in a short time.
 
IschenkoUBeauty said:
Things are going to take a bit of time I suppose but I do feel a little better. The help I've been getting has been great. My appetite is back a bit so I'm also going to try putting the weight back on that I've sounds goodlost.

It hasn't been long but I feel like I've made a lot of progress in a short time.
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Sounds good, keep going , IschenkoUBeauty ....:thumbsu:
 
IschenkoUBeauty said:
Things are going to take a bit of time I suppose but I do feel a little better. The help I've been getting has been great. My appetite is back a bit so I'm also going to try putting the weight back on that I've lost.

It hasn't been long but I feel like I've made a lot of progress in a short time.
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Fantastic to hear mate!

Glad that you understand and accept this will take a little time to sort out and also that you can already see some positives!

Keep at it!
 

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Roo Beauty said:
It's been a couple of weeks since we last heard from you. How are you IUB?
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Was going great this week until the weirdo ex reared her ugly (well, pretty) head again and I've felt kinda rubbish since. Almost like pouring extra fuel on a fire...it was something I didn't need after what she'd done to me on top of everything else that'd happened. But otherwise things are progressing well.
 
IschenkoUBeauty said:
Was going great this week until the weirdo ex reared her ugly (well, pretty) head again and I've felt kinda rubbish since. Almost like pouring extra fuel on a fire...it was something I didn't need after what she'd done to me on top of everything else that'd happened. But otherwise things are progressing well.
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I know this'll probably sound like s**t advice, but just ignore her. The bitch is obviously not worth it, so keep your chin up. If you ever need to talk about any other things popping up, then just tell us. :thumbsu: BigFooty is here to help.
 
IschenkoUBeauty said:
Was going great this week until the weirdo ex reared her ugly (well, pretty) head again and I've felt kinda rubbish since. Almost like pouring extra fuel on a fire...it was something I didn't need after what she'd done to me on top of everything else that'd happened. But otherwise things are progressing well.
Click to expand...

Give yourself time IUB and she'll move further into the background.
 
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