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hello whores

In a cold and blustery spring morning, I blearily opened one eye and peered at my alarm clock. I could barely see, for I had terribly crusty eyes. 8:00AM. “****s sake.” I muttered, as I hauled *** out of bed. It was rubbish day. I stumbled down the stairs and opened the front door. Cats had...

Ok, it's back . . . I guess. We're not willing to risk AFL players in an actual representative game of football that means something, say for example a State of Origin game, but apparently there's no problems at all getting the All-Australian squad to sign up for a game that involves chasing a...

I find this hard to argue with :oops:

This trade week surely will be an adequate test of the 110ers desperation to try and be relevant again :oops: My tip: The overrated Bartel and their first round pick :$

Oh dear, even the Libs are trolling ShitneyLOLA now. :eek:

Absolutely pathetic for a club which is over the salary cap by a million dollars too :o

Geelong have been vindicating our concerns by delisting a bunch of their youth. Not even worth taking to Cash Converters, just straight to the tip :$ Nick Bourke (never heard of him) Jordan Schroder George Burbury Jackson Sheringham Jesse Stringer Good start, but there's plenty more to be...

Surely the AOTY should've pissed it in. :eek:

Anyone know where I can get my hands on some nitrus oxide?

Worst Brownlow 22 HB: Bartel Hardie C: Woewoedin Priddis Dipper HF: Teasdale Round Couch F: Wilson Goodes Healy R: Wynd Kelly Liberatore EDIT: ran out of s**t players.

End of debate.

JUSTICE MIDDLETON SAW RIGHT THROUGH ME LIKE A TRANSLUCENT JELLYFISH AND IM OUT ON MY ARSE IF I CAN'T GET RID OF SOME MAJOR PLAYYEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS BY DEC 31! JAKE CARLISE - WAS THE NEXT WAYNE CAREY, NOW WE'LL ACCEPT MITCH THORP! WHAT? HE'S NOT ON A LIST? SEND HIM IN ANYWAY! DAVID ZAHARAKIS...

Let's face it, some teams do their best work in the off-season, and it's about time this work got recognised and rewarded. To this end I have devised a comprehensive system to award a certain number of points for any incident of significance, although if we have another Essendon druggate...

http://www.afl.com.au/news/2014-09-14/cat-caught-drink-driving?utm_medium=RSS GEELONG ruckman Dawson Simpson has been charged with drink-driving after he was pulled over by police on Saturday night. The Cats released a short statement on Sunday night confirming the 206cm big man had been...

Is ultra endurance overrated in that AFL players only need to reach a certain level of elite endurance before any additional capacity becomes virtually useless? I ask this with an eye on the upcoming Blicavs v Goldstein contest. Blicavs is the best endurance athlete in the game by far, but...

Dear Fyfe, I'm sorry you didn't get to have your picture taken with the Great One when you won his trophy last night. Maybe when you trade to Hawthorn in a year or so you will have this opportunity. Regards, HP.

Boy is my face red :oops: This is a massive backfire and a stunning result. Nah, just kidding, it was Hodge again :) http://www.hawthornfc.com.au/news/2014-09-09/hodge-name-leagues-best-captain

Seb Costello at it again. Not a good move, but also not agreeing with calls that the it's the fans who are missing out here.

I defy anyone to find a worse leader. Even the captain of the Costa Concordia knew which way the wind was blowing. Cotchin Barometric awareness: Nil Pets killed by rompingwins: 1 Premierships: nil Finals won: nil Dopey haircuts: 1

It is uncalled for and heinously unjust. Also, can the flog who stole his bucket off KFC please return it to him? He has been unconsolable. Thanks. Porkins' newly appointed case worker, HP.

Trinity: Goodes, how did you do that? Goodes: Do what? Trinity: You dived like they do. I never seen anyone dive that fast. Goodes: Not fast enough for the free kick :(

What's the bigger act of floggery? Diving like a bitch on live television or denying your obvious cheating? Even Suarez wouldn't stoop this low. Anyway, here's the interview, straight from the overrated Bartel's methane mansion...

If Twitter is to be believed. More to come, but please post your clever puns here, I can't think of any at the moment.

Denis Pagan got 10 wins out of Carlton in his second year, with no Number 1 draft picks, no Judd, and a drink driving misogynist as president. Mick Malthouse has a much better list, a stable board, Chris Judd, and he's struggling to match Pagan's effort :eek: I had a bbq at Denis' house last...

It's mainly been Channel 7 who are propogating the idea that Franklin is in career best form, with other media outlets recycling the myth, which begs the question, why are Channel 7 so intent on selling this concept? I had a look at the stats since Channel 7 never put them up. 2014: 16.3...

This has potential as the next Hey Dad, or possibly even better. Unlike Hey Dad of course, this features a couple of men of ill repute who have had questionable relations with teenagers. INT: Typical Melbourne hostel-style run-down apartment. Teen pr0n mags on the floor, pizza boxes on...

It's been a long time coming, but finally we see Eddie's master plan to get into Nathan's pants (in order to emove his coaching contract from them.) The succession plan, hiring Nathan No Flags, This has all been set up to give Eddie an excuse to sack Nathan, something he's been fantasising...