Rooch and Editor Transcript

The author of the following article would like to express that all content contained within the article is for satirical purposes only. The author does not write this with the intention of defaming any characters being portrayed. The author would further add that the article is for purely entertainment value only and is in no way necessarily the actual view held.


Editor: Good morning Rooch, what are you running with this week for the Roast?

Rooch: Well I have written a great piece on how Mark Williams has total control over every aspect of the Port Adelaide Football Club.

Editor: Come on Rooch, you have done 28 articles already on this subject, have you got anything else?

Rooch: I’ve got a piece on the poor crowds that Port Adelaide pulled during the 2008 season.

Editor: Been done.

Rooch: I’ve got a great piece on the failings of Neil Craig.

Editor: Been done.

Rooch: I’ve got a piece called “Neal Craig – Most coaches go gray but I lose teeth?”

Editor: Interesting but we have already done 2562 Crow articles compared to 43 for Port Adelaide.

Rooch: I’ve got a great piece on the tyranny that surrounded Port Adelaide’s bid to join the AFL.

Editor: Been done.

Rooch: I have got my end of year report cards for Port Adelaide and Adelaide.

Editor: The season is not finished yet so they will need to wait. Have you got anything new?

Rooch: Well my research has been held up a bit this week.

Editor: How?

Rooch: Well when I go to the BigFooty website for my articles, it says that due to its popularity I will need to wait and try again later.

Editor: Well here Rooch, I’ve got the site up here on my laptop.

Rooch: Ah excellent, cut, paste and edit, and my job is done.

Haha, like your disclaimer at the top.

Not sure Rooch can use this one though, try again!

Rooch do you have a smile on your face as well after reading that?

Good stuff as always. I reckon it would've gone even better with Rucci trying to get an attack on Mark Williams past his editor every second or third point.

"I've done a great piece on the failings of Mark Williams"

"I've done a great piece on the tyranny surrounding Port Adelaide's coaching structure"

"I've written a piece on Port's new marketing campaign and how Mark Williams ruined its release"

"I've done an expose on how Mark Williams instructs his players to kick footies at journos at press conferences"

"Mark Williams, you are wrong wrong wrong"

"I've heard a rumour Mark Williams will call off the 2009 season in the practice matches"

"Why Mark Williams the Hawthorn player is a more worthy football contributor than an unnamed coach of an Adelaide based football club near the Port"

"Mark Williams destabilises Port by refusing to tell me who Port's captain will be for 2009"

"Mark Williams linked to mysterious disappearance of key Port Adelaide backroom staff"

Y'know, that sort of stuff ...

Ford Fairlane said:

Good stuff as always. I reckon it would've gone even better with Rucci trying to get an attack on Mark Williams past his editor every second or third point.

"I've done a great piece on the failings of Mark Williams"

"I've done a great piece on the tyranny surrounding Port Adelaide's coaching structure"

"I've written a piece on Port's new marketing campaign and how Mark Williams ruined its release"

"I've done an expose on how Mark Williams instructs his players to kick footies at journos at press conferences"

"Mark Williams, you are wrong wrong wrong"

"I've heard a rumour Mark Williams will call off the 2009 season in the practice matches"

"Why Mark Williams the Hawthorn player is a more worthy football contributor than an unnamed coach of an Adelaide based football club near the Port"

"Mark Williams destabilises Port by refusing to tell me who Port's captain will be for 2009"

"Mark Williams linked to mysterious disappearance of key Port Adelaide backroom staff"

Y'know, that sort of stuff ...

Click to expand...

Great suggestions Ford You are pretty good at this stuff

Great idea

ExpectToWin said:

..... Rooch: Well when I go to the BigFooty website for my articles, it says that due to its popularity I will need to wait and try again later. ......

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Rucci you tight arse. Become a paid up member of BigFooty and you won't have that problem. I'm sure you could claim it as a tax deduction as a work related expense.

..... oh wait, it's not real

This guy is a gold mine!

Would have loved to have seen a reference to the "failed or collapsed revolution" - which appears ad nauseum in most articles by some obscure reference to whatever was written.

Because I quoted it here am I infringing his copyright?

Ford Fairlane said:

Good stuff as always. I reckon it would've gone even better with Rucci trying to get an attack on Mark Williams past his editor every second or third point.

"I've done a great piece on the failings of Mark Williams"

"I've done a great piece on the tyranny surrounding Port Adelaide's coaching structure"

"I've written a piece on Port's new marketing campaign and how Mark Williams ruined its release"

"I've done an expose on how Mark Williams instructs his players to kick footies at journos at press conferences"

"Mark Williams, you are wrong wrong wrong"

"I've heard a rumour Mark Williams will call off the 2009 season in the practice matches"

"Why Mark Williams the Hawthorn player is a more worthy football contributor than an unnamed coach of an Adelaide based football club near the Port"

"Mark Williams destabilises Port by refusing to tell me who Port's captain will be for 2009"

"Mark Williams linked to mysterious disappearance of key Port Adelaide backroom staff"

Y'know, that sort of stuff ...

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"Port Adelaide disrespect the media, because they unveiled their clash guernsey on the footy show without telling me first"

"Mark Williams' Coaching Certificate is in Life Coaching not Sports Coaching"

Actually, that could be true

From the Life Coaching Academy of Australia website;

"An inspiring weekend! I came with an open mind and no pre-judged expectations. I was offered tools and techniques that were practical and usable from day 1. I feel so confident of my success in this facet of my life. What a way to contribute to the world!"
Mark Williams

Click to expand...

Natman said:

Would have loved to have seen a reference to the "failed or collapsed revolution" - which appears ad nauseum in most articles by some obscure reference to whatever was written.

Because I quoted it here am I infringing his copyright?

Click to expand...

...or how Rooch, whenever he writes about Geelong, manages to remind everyone they won the 2007 GF against Port with reference to the exact margin.

haha.
i hope rooch reads this.
lol

Its missing one bit at the end...

*Phone rings*

Editor: Editor speaking, how can I help you?

M Williams: Has he gone yet?

Editor: He? Who?

M Williams: Rooch of course you dumb s**t, has he gone to Tuscany yet?

Editor: *with some anger*: Yes Mark he left yesterday, why?

M Williams: Ok heres all the news I've been holding back til he left, give this stuff to Capel ok, that'll really piss Rooch off. Now firstly...

LOL @Marcus

Rucci is behaving like the spurned lover.

In an article in this am's 'Tiser on last night's Geelong v Bulldogs game Rucci finishes with;

... If it is to seal consecutive flags, Geelong will need to rediscover that red-hot form of last year's grand final massacre of Port Adelaide. This time the Cats will not be playing a bunny.

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If Port were a bunny last tear yet made the AFL Grand Final what does that say about the other 14 AFL clubs? Sure, our GF performance was horrible but that doesn't mean we were bunnies.

I'm disappointed Rucci didn't say "119 point massacre". I'm sure he has a tattoo of "119" on his left butt cheek