Ideas worth spreading

[Lore]

A thread for discussing TED Talks and other 'ideas worth spreading'.

I was cleaning out my saved links and found the video below; I think it probably speaks to the experience of a lot of us so I thought I'd share.



She starts off by telling a story about being an introvert in a world that favours extraverts. She talks about being forced into particular social situations and to become more outgoing, and learning to make self-negating choices – becoming a lawyer rather than a writer, and going to crowded bars instead of a nice dinner with friends. Choices that put her in situations where she couldn't get the best out of herself.


Some key quotes:

• A third to a half of the population are introverts -- a third to a half. So that's one out of every two or three people you know.
• Introversion is different from being shy. Shyness is about fear of social judgment. Introversion is more about how you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. Extroverts crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched-on and their most capable when they're in quieter, more low-key environments. Not all the time, but a lot of the time.
• There is a bias in society towards extraversion, one which we internalise before we even learn to speak.
• Schools and workplaces are now designed to suit extraverts. School desks which used to be in rows are now grouped, offices are open plan without walls, and we are subject to constant noise and gaze of others.
• We have this belief system right now that I call the new groupthink, which holds that all creativity and all productivity comes from a very oddly gregarious place. We mirror other people in a group, often the loudest shares first and others follow. The loudest opinion is not always the best though, so why leave it to chance?
• When it comes to leadership, introverts are routinely passed over for leadership positions.
• Research has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extroverts do, because when they are managing proactive employees, they're much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas. An extrovert can, quite unwittingly, get so excited about things that they're putting their own stamp on things, and other people's ideas might not as easily then bubble up to the surface.

I identify with that a lot. I think it's interesting that you always hear about how you should get a good night's sleep and eat healthy and make sure you have breakfast so you're at your best. I think being in an environment that favours your strengths is probably more influential than any of those things. There was another TED talk I saw ages ago about designing 'for the ears', which was about designing spaces that don't just look good, they also sound good. Like for example great big wide open foyers with shiny floors look good, but in practice they're echoey and uncomfortable. Having people around a lot can be draining, but spaces that make a few people sound like a hundred are even worse.

Team work can also be really frustrating if you're an introvert working with extraverts. I don't know how many times I've been expected to implement a 'team decision' that works great for the person who's idea it was in their area but doesn't work for me in mine. Their decision becomes the 'team decision' basically because they're louder. On the other hand, sometimes teamwork can be an advantage if you're working with people who are also introverts and who complement your strengths. At uni I worked a lot with one particular friend because she liked reading the research and highlighting things and I was better at writing, we would even ask to work together on individual assignments. Obviously sometimes group work or independent work is required, but when it isn't things should be designed to be more suited to getting the most out of everyone, introvert or extravert.

 

[Howard Moon]

think I tried this, but my ideas were not worth spreading


tin foil thread represent

 

[Lore]

think I tried this, but my ideas were not worth spreading


tin foil thread represent

Haha I thought this was the kind of thread that would suit you! I figured if it doesn't take off I'll just merge it back in somewhere. Last I looked there were plenty of introverts on big footy, I remember the Myers-Briggs test being a thing at one point...

 

[Howard Moon]

Haha I thought this was the kind of thread that would suit you! I figured if it doesn't take off I'll just merge it back in somewhere. Last I looked there were plenty of introverts on big footy, I remember the Myers-Briggs test being a thing at one point...

I have a feeling....

well, every time I go on FB, and another lifestyle or new age site it trying to give me lists on how to deal with the world as an introvert... or are you an introvert, or 5 ways to live with an introvert..

I reckon being the introvert is in the overwhelming majority, and the extroverts are the abnormal minority - but they don't need to cater articles toward the minority group here, the extroverts ,because their disposition is such that they are not easily knocked off balance, they are confident in them selves, read: extroverted

 

[Lore]

I have a feeling....

well, every time I go on FB, and another lifestyle or new age site it trying to give me lists on how to deal with the world as an introvert... or are you an introvert, or 5 ways to live with an introvert..

I reckon being the introvert is in the overwhelming majority, and the extroverts are the abnormal minority - but they don't need to cater articles toward the minority group here, the extroverts ,because their disposition is such that they are not easily knocked off balance, they are confident in them selves, read: extroverted

By their very nature they make themselves heard, and so seem more plentiful than they are? And then the rest of us just go along with it because it seems like there's a lot of extraverts and extraversion and confidence and being a leader is the way to go?

It's interesting, the extroverts of the world seize power, and do what they will with it: Trump. But when the introverts are put in the spotlight it's a different sort of leadership, possibly a better sort, because they're the ones that aren't doing it because they want power (they'd rather be anywhere else) but because they see it as their duty.

I don't think it happens here so much, but it seems in America they prize extroversion quite highly. Public speaking is a required course for undergrads (not sure if that's all undergrads or just some?), extracurriculars are really important on college applications and the stereotypical extracurriculars that seem to be valued are mostly suited to extroverts? Basically, extroversion is idolised. Rhetoric and oration is a huge deal to them. Case in point; this youtube channel (I picked one that looks at the examples in Game of Thrones, but there are loads that look at all different examples. All about being charismatic and persuasive and manipulating the world around you using charisma, body language, vocal techniques, etc.)

 

[Howard Moon]

By their very nature they make themselves heard, and so seem more plentiful than they are? And then the rest of us just go along with it because it seems like there's a lot of extraverts and extraversion and confidence and being a leader is the way to go?

It's interesting, the extroverts of the world seize power, and do what they will with it: Trump. But when the introverts are put in the spotlight it's a different sort of leadership, possibly a better sort, because they're the ones that aren't doing it because they want power (they'd rather be anywhere else) but because they see it as their duty.

I don't think it happens here so much, but it seems in America they prize extroversion quite highly. Public speaking is a required course for undergrads (not sure if that's all undergrads or just some?), extracurriculars are really important on college applications and the stereotypical extracurriculars that seem to be valued are mostly suited to extroverts? Basically, extroversion is idolised. Rhetoric and oration is a huge deal to them. Case in point; this youtube channel (I picked one that looks at the examples in Game of Thrones, but there are loads that look at all different examples. All about being charismatic and persuasive and manipulating the world around you using charisma, body language, vocal techniques, etc.)

i've got a hunch that introverts might be of a higher intellect, not so much in a scholastic sense or problem solving, or iq sense, that may be, or may not be, but I mean in a deeper way, in an emotional connectivity sense... I reckon they (we) are some how more in tuned with the people around us at a deeper level, we can feel things that are not verbalized,... intangibles. its something to do with non controllable empathy..

this maybe why we struggle with parties or public speaking or whatever it may be, too much empathy. We can feel everything of what is going on in social situations and it can become too much - or it might be called the classic, over thinking.

Maybe those not so in tune in this type of way are happy to just get up and be the life of the party or stand in front of 1000 people and talk, they cant feel the situation around them - almost mild azbergers style - they are more in tune with their own feelings only - which seems a weird juxtaposition, being that introverts are supposed to be the internal ones.

 

[Lore]

i've got a hunch that introverts might be of a higher intellect, not so much in a scholastic sense or problem solving, or iq sense, that may be, or may not be, but I mean in a deeper way, in an emotional connectivity sense... I reckon they (we) are some how more in tuned with the people around us at a deeper level, we can feel things that are not verbalized,... intangibles. its something to do with non controllable empathy..

this maybe why we struggle with parties or public speaking or whatever it may be, too much empathy. We can feel everything of what is going on in social situations and it can become too much - or it might be called the classic, over thinking.

Maybe those not so in tune in this type of way are happy to just get up and be the life of the party or stand in front of 1000 people and talk, they cant feel the situation around them - almost mild azbergers style - they are more in tune with their own feelings only - which seems a weird juxtaposition, being that introverts are supposed to be the internal ones.

At first I was reading that like wwwhaaaaaa. I think what you're talking about is EQ. I'm not sure if it correlates or not, but it's possible. Would that then mean that introverts are less in touch with themselves, compared to extraverts?

On the other hand I don't think it's a dichotomy, it's more of a scale, you can be somewhere in the middle or sometimes more one way or more the other.

 

[Howard Moon]

At first I was reading that like wwwhaaaaaa. I think what you're talking about is EQ. I'm not sure if it correlates or not, but it's possible. Would that then mean that introverts are less in touch with themselves, compared to extraverts?

On the other hand I don't think it's a dichotomy, it's more of a scale, you can be somewhere in the middle or sometimes more one way or more the other.

I think it might have more to do with what or who is surrounding you at the time.. if you are around others or a scene on your particular wavelength it makes for a more calm, pleasant syncronology - lots of round pegs and round holes...maybe allows you to be yourself more and sneak out of the shell

but if its the opposite its just too draining.

maybe the scale works in that way, its not a fixed thing - all related to the respective energies and wave lengths of whats surrounding you