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Yeah I completely agree. Especially in a nightclub or pub, the best form of self defence is just to avoid conflict. There is nothing to gain and plenty to lose from a physical confrontation. FWIW I haven't been in a physical fight since I was 13 (didn't end well), and I'm 29 now.

There is a couple of things that prompted me to want to take up self defence lessons as a hobby:

1. My cousin recently had a scary incident with his wife. They were out when 3 young guys approached him from behind and suggested they thought his missus went alright, and maybe they should forcefully take her to a nearby park for some private time. The situation turned out fine and it was probably just some bravado on their part, and maybe my cousin is exaggerating a little, but it got me to thinking about myself and my wife and what I would do in a similar situation. I obviously wouldn't be looking to take those 3 guys down Bruce Lee style. But to be honest, it would be nice to have some confidence in how to defend myself at a basic level. Even just long enough to buy some time. Right now, I would be pretty much clueless.

For a more extreme example...I met a guy when I was living overseas who confided in me that some expat had forcefully restrained and r*ped him on a night out. I remember thinking, surely just a little self defence knowledge could get a man out of that situation. I assume he must have been quite drunk.

2. I've been in a corporate law job for quite a few years now and aggression is pretty much the order of the day. Although I've never seen physical violence, I've found that people in the profession generally adopt aggressive tones, stances, language etc. Had some other lawyer abusing me on the phone this week over some trivial matter. Anyway I've had the thought that, if I knew deep down that I could kick the other guys ass, it would make those situations easier to deal with. Not because I'm going to resort to violence. More the psychological advantage it would confer.

It's probably a fair call to say both reasons are driven to a certain extent by fear. But the way I see it is there is nothing wrong with responding to fear of powerlessness in a situation by learning a skill that to some extent solves the problem.