Certified Legendary Thread TAB's- Full of "characters" ???

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Yeah that's pretty standard. Work by yourself during the week and balance to the cent, then work a Saturday with other people and it ends up out. TBH though I would have ended up ahead on the overs v. unders ledger in the time I worked there. I wouldn't have liked to work with some of the nuffs that get around the pub tabs tho. At least in the agency there are cameras everywhere so if its a big figure you can through the transactions and the camera and pin it on the other guy!
 

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I would've said most likely some angry roided up lebo and some angry roided up feral white guy got into an argument about who was more roided up and that was the result.

This is why im never keen to watch the UFC at a pub, it just brings out the worst characters.
 
some of the strangest dudes ive ever seen hang out in tabs
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One of my fave tab experiences involved an astute punter who appeared to lose a packet on several sub 1.4 trots in a row. He then shouted 'it's all f***ing bull***t' as he tore down every form guide in the place in a state of ice fueled rage. Never have I heard a more accurate summation of punting.
 
Deathray said:
One of my fave tab experiences involved an astute punter who appeared to lose a packet on several sub 1.4 trots in a row. He then shouted 'it's all f***ing bull***t' as he tore down every form guide in the place in a state of ice fueled rage. Never have I heard a more accurate summation of punting.
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Field/Favourite/Field Tri. Jeez everyone knows that. ;););)
 
Back in the 90s One day as I was catching the train from Footscray I passed a man down on his luck, begging for 50cents so he could buy a ticket catch a train to Dandenong.

I would later see this man the next day & many days after in Footscray TAB. I guess he never made it back to Dandenong.
 
IKnowtheDog said:
Back in the 90s One day as I was catching the train from Footscray I passed a man down on his luck, begging for 50cents so he could buy a ticket catch a train to Dandenong.

I would later see this man the next day & many days after in Footscray TAB. I guess he never made it back to Dandenong.
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There are guys in adelaide that do that.
Beg until they get 3 or 4 bucks and chuck it on a quinella.
If they win, they eat, or buy booze. If they lose, straight back to begging for $2.
 

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Hamingja said:
For fixed odds anything over $200 gets caught and has to be processed manually. Paramutual you can set the limit yourself. I used to set it to 1k. If you have a bloke betting a few hundred a race you don't want the terminal ringing every time he places a bet, the whole tab will turn around to see who is betting.
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One of the TABS I used to frequent the bloke working behind the counter set the limit to $50....that was fun times!
 
IKnowtheDog said:
One of the TABS I used to frequent the bloke working behind the counter set the limit to $50....that was fun times!
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The difference between pub tabs and agencies. It still applies.
 
Come across quite a few campaigners today in the TAB. The prick doing a 10 leg Japanese soccer multi a minute before the jump, cost me a $3.80 winner, the gimps who yell home the winner of every race like they have backed every winner for the day.

Bellend who smashes his pint into the table 'to make it frothy again' and scares the bejesus out of everyone near him. The campaigner after you who didn't tell you you left a $10 voucher in the terminal.

People just take too ******* long at the machines doing bullshit trifectas and quaddies for 2 dollars. Just piss off mate will you.
 
I know many of these may have already appeared in this thread but collating some of my personal favorites


  • Multi Man: Spends hours combining UFC/English Premier League/NFL/Logies/1st round winners in an obscure satellite tennis event. Likes putting them on just before a Group 1 and then has ticket issues which hold up the queue behind.

  • I-Phone Guy: Never seen putting a ticket through a machine, but taps away at his I-Phone to put his bets on, Happy enough to scoff the free coffee and biscuits and take charge of terminals, however

  • Shouters: You will never be in any doubt what they are on. Neither will most people within a 20 metre radius.

  • Young Punters: Groups of young blokes, just learning about betting. Veer markedly between being I-Phone Guy and Shouters.

  • Little Old Lady: Be wary of these beings. Can look like they have no idea what they are doing, wearing a nice flowered skirt and a paper carefully marked out, but probably winning more than 95% of the other punters there

  • Trainer’s Friend: “Trainer reckons it’s flying and is a sure thing”. When runs 11th in a bush maiden at $67 “It was unlucky/checked/back it next time”.

  • Jailbird: Easily picked by his haircut, short back and sides, a wary look in his eye, can be very jumpy at the wrong questions. Usually only places small bets but seems to understand fractional betting better than most, which leads to…

  • The Fractional Punter: Loves putting a quaddy on for 1%, spends $5 on it and then wonders why he is still down on the deal 3 hours later.

  • The Historian: Was there when Ajax lose at 40 to 1 on, and saw Mel Schumacher grab the leg of the jockey riding Blue Era in the 1961 Derby. Closely related to…

  • The Smoker: Yearns for the days when he could puff inside the agency. Stands in doorways with a blue cloud around him. Only enters to frantically place a number of bets before departing again to watch from the doorway.

  • Conspiracy Theorist: When his conveyance loses, it is due to corruption/underworld intervention/nobbling/corrupt stewards

  • The Luckiest Punter: Can walk into a TAB, look at the betting for 30 seconds, and nab the $51 winner, then take a 3 dog box trifecta of the outsiders and watch them romp in, before an after the siren kick in the last AFL game of the round lands him the only live unit in the Footy Quad

  • The Unluckiest Punter: Takes a 2 runner quinella in a four horse race and watches them run 3rd and 4th. Can be on a dog leading by 10 lengths on the turn who breaks down. Started his punting career by placing a bet on the Fine Cotton race, but was actually on Harbor Gold (the runner up) that day, and was co convinced there wouldn’t be a protest, he tore his ticket up and went home.

  • The Animal Hater: Not above yelling for the leading horse or dog to collapse and break down as he is on the runner up for the win.

  • The TAB Owner: Spends the day changing channels on screens, turning up volume, telling other patrons to be quiet so he can watch the college basketball while the Melbourne Cup is on. Takes command of form guides, pens and entire desks. Is actually only a punter.

  • The Stinkpot: No other description. Smells worse than bin night. Insists on standing near you wherever you go. Probably doing okay on the punt but somehow can’t afford a can of deodorant

  • The Minor Celebrity: Vaguely familiar, might have been on a reality show, or played a few one-dayers for Victoria. Tends to have shades of TAB Owner to him. Not above “don’t you know who I am” when questioned about his manner

  • The Major Celebrity: Very well known, you wonder what is he doing there. Usually a great bloke to chat with, makes time for people and tends to walk out a winner.


 
TheJanuaryMan said:
  • The TAB Owner: Spends the day changing channels on screens, turning up volume, telling other patrons to be quiet so he can watch the college basketball while the Melbourne Cup is on. Takes command of form guides, pens and entire desks. Is actually only a punter.
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LOL
 
TheJanuaryMan said:
I know many of these may have already appeared in this thread but collating some of my personal favorites


  • Multi Man: Spends hours combining UFC/English Premier League/NFL/Logies/1st round winners in an obscure satellite tennis event. Likes putting them on just before a Group 1 and then has ticket issues which hold up the queue behind.

  • I-Phone Guy: Never seen putting a ticket through a machine, but taps away at his I-Phone to put his bets on, Happy enough to scoff the free coffee and biscuits and take charge of terminals, however

  • Shouters: You will never be in any doubt what they are on. Neither will most people within a 20 metre radius.

  • Young Punters: Groups of young blokes, just learning about betting. Veer markedly between being I-Phone Guy and Shouters.

  • Little Old Lady: Be wary of these beings. Can look like they have no idea what they are doing, wearing a nice flowered skirt and a paper carefully marked out, but probably winning more than 95% of the other punters there

  • Trainer’s Friend: “Trainer reckons it’s flying and is a sure thing”. When runs 11th in a bush maiden at $67 “It was unlucky/checked/back it next time”.

  • Jailbird: Easily picked by his haircut, short back and sides, a wary look in his eye, can be very jumpy at the wrong questions. Usually only places small bets but seems to understand fractional betting better than most, which leads to…

  • The Fractional Punter: Loves putting a quaddy on for 1%, spends $5 on it and then wonders why he is still down on the deal 3 hours later.

  • The Historian: Was there when Ajax lose at 40 to 1 on, and saw Mel Schumacher grab the leg of the jockey riding Blue Era in the 1961 Derby. Closely related to…

  • The Smoker: Yearns for the days when he could puff inside the agency. Stands in doorways with a blue cloud around him. Only enters to frantically place a number of bets before departing again to watch from the doorway.

  • Conspiracy Theorist: When his conveyance loses, it is due to corruption/underworld intervention/nobbling/corrupt stewards

  • The Luckiest Punter: Can walk into a TAB, look at the betting for 30 seconds, and nab the $51 winner, then take a 3 dog box trifecta of the outsiders and watch them romp in, before an after the siren kick in the last AFL game of the round lands him the only live unit in the Footy Quad

  • The Unluckiest Punter: Takes a 2 runner quinella in a four horse race and watches them run 3rd and 4th. Can be on a dog leading by 10 lengths on the turn who breaks down. Started his punting career by placing a bet on the Fine Cotton race, but was actually on Harbor Gold (the runner up) that day, and was co convinced there wouldn’t be a protest, he tore his ticket up and went home.

  • The Animal Hater: Not above yelling for the leading horse or dog to collapse and break down as he is on the runner up for the win.

  • The TAB Owner: Spends the day changing channels on screens, turning up volume, telling other patrons to be quiet so he can watch the college basketball while the Melbourne Cup is on. Takes command of form guides, pens and entire desks. Is actually only a punter.

  • The Stinkpot: No other description. Smells worse than bin night. Insists on standing near you wherever you go. Probably doing okay on the punt but somehow can’t afford a can of deodorant

  • The Minor Celebrity: Vaguely familiar, might have been on a reality show, or played a few one-dayers for Victoria. Tends to have shades of TAB Owner to him. Not above “don’t you know who I am” when questioned about his manner

  • The Major Celebrity: Very well known, you wonder what is he doing there. Usually a great bloke to chat with, makes time for people and tends to walk out a winner.

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this is gold
One character i wrote about - the slap - is the multi man, fractional punter, conspirancy theorist and unluckiest punter all in one, he is also the post race complainer, will stew over losing no matter that his horse has lost by 10 lengths and start blaming sky channel for steering him onto that horse and that they made him do it cos they want all punters to lose, and that the camera angle is wrong and his horse actually won.
 
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