Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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The Prosecutor said:
To the above, here is a picture I took of Mate B passed out around 10pm on King Street.

Yes, the patches on his knees and shoes are his own vomit.

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We've all got one of those mates. :D

One time mine passed out on the footpath on Brunswick St, none of us wanted to take him home as it was early in the night. We tried hauling a cab but none would stop as the don't want a corpse covered in vomit in their back seat. So me and my mate held in up with his arms around us, Weekend at Bernies style, managed to get a cab to stop, then chucked him in the back seat and slammed the door before the cabbie could say no, told the driver the address, threw him $20 and ran off.

Friend was actually home when we got back so it worked. :thumbsu:
 

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Not sure if this counts but i'll throw in my 2 cents

So i was up in Gold Coast for new years, have a pretty shitty time hitting on chicks etc.
So on new years, got pretty smashed and ended up back at my apartment with my mates to watch the fireworks.
Fireworks happen and go stuff it time to hit the clubs again but ended up at a strip club might as well see something while i'm up here.

So chilling in the back, just pounding down drinks while three girls, two of them were decent 6, 7 (the 7 looked like the Rachel McAdams) the other was a 4 (all around 22years old, same age as me) and all were drunk.
So the three girls are dancing on the public stripper pole while i'm just drinking away not a care in the world, as one of the girls 6 comes up and says hi etc.
Nice little chat and then her friends pull her away from me (will find out later) while two 40year old blokes try and hit on all three.

So as the night goes on i decided to leave happened to be the same time as the chicks and learnt that the two blokes stole one of the chicks credit card while she was dancing on the pole.
As the white knight that i am, i said i would help them out and take them to the police and settle the matter since i spotted the blokes faces and heard their names, trying to get brownie root points here.

After 10mins talking to police, hop in a taxi with the three chicks and took them to the Casino 8km down the road where they were staying, while 7 crying on my chest and rubbing my legs in front of her two mates. Zero cares given from me as i'm saying there there.

Helped carry the 7 up to her room with her mates and then proceed to inform that i work in I.T that i can help with their card taken and inform the bank it's stolen etc.

4 and 7 proceed to hit to the bathroom while 6 is giving me the DTF look and then accidentally said "you remind me of my husband)" then proceed to say "i shouldn't have said that, i wanted you" Moral code kicks in, not gonna try anything.

7 asked for me in the bathroom as 4 leaves and she shows me some blood on her top, "this what happens when you take E".

Not into drugs so thinking aww f**k i should bail.

So as the girls start to get into party mode, head downstairs to the club while grinding with 7 she then proceeds to do the drugo vomit on the dance floor and on my shoes.

inform her mates we need to take her upstairs or they get fined from the casino but they heard me as "im gonna go bang this chick upstairs" so i proceed to carry her to the lifts which turns out you need a card to get to the levels and her friends have it.
proceed to spend 20mins holding up this girl while trying to call her friends to no answer.
Security finally arrives as i let the girl sleep in the middle of the room giving up any hope of a root tonight, turns out 4 and 6 went upstairs to the room and spotted we weren't banging, so 4 comes downstairs and finds 7 drugo passed out on the floor and says "she can only come up"

Instant answer i wanted, never walked so fast in my life to get outside and away from that sh*t.

Waiting for a cab and informing a bloke of my night and instead of waiting 2hours in a cab line i proceed to run the entire way back to my apartment in cavill avenue as drunks yell "run forest run"


Not sure if this applies to this thread but thought i was a funny story.
 
Adelaide Hawk said:
Bloody women.

I HAD a female friend, and I stress the word "HAD" who contacted me all excited one day. She'd had lunch with some girlfriends and met another girl who she said would be perfect for me. I was in the market for a partner so I was all for meeting her. They set up another lunch where I would "accidentally drop by" to see what I thought of her. I liked the whole package, looked great, personality a big tick, seemed to be exactly what I was looking for.

My "friend" gave me her email address so I happily dashed off an email. Got a response, she didn't seem all that keen, but seemed happy enough to chat with me. I asked her out, once again she seemed a little weird about it. I apologized to her but said I was under the misapprehension she may be interested in dating me. Then she said she didn't understand that as she was engaged to be married!!!

When I contacted my "friend" again, I asked if she knew this girl was engaged. She said, "Oh, yeah, but I didn't think that would matter, I thought you'd be good friends".

You just have to wonder about women, they really do work on an entirely different level.
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I don't even...

Seriously wtf goes through the mind of females. That's just absurd.


Anyway, more importantly, did you become good friends with this bird?
 
Adelaide Hawk said:
Bloody women.

I HAD a female friend, and I stress the word "HAD" who contacted me all excited one day. She'd had lunch with some girlfriends and met another girl who she said would be perfect for me. I was in the market for a partner so I was all for meeting her. They set up another lunch where I would "accidentally drop by" to see what I thought of her. I liked the whole package, looked great, personality a big tick, seemed to be exactly what I was looking for.

My "friend" gave me her email address so I happily dashed off an email. Got a response, she didn't seem all that keen, but seemed happy enough to chat with me. I asked her out, once again she seemed a little weird about it. I apologized to her but said I was under the misapprehension she may be interested in dating me. Then she said she didn't understand that as she was engaged to be married!!!

When I contacted my "friend" again, I asked if she knew this girl was engaged. She said, "Oh, yeah, but I didn't think that would matter, I thought you'd be good friends".

You just have to wonder about women, they really do work on an entirely different level.
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Your 'friend' was either feeling guilty about sleeping with her friends partner, or wanted him to herself.
 
Adelaide Hawk said:
Bloody women.

I HAD a female friend, and I stress the word "HAD" who contacted me all excited one day. She'd had lunch with some girlfriends and met another girl who she said would be perfect for me. I was in the market for a partner so I was all for meeting her. They set up another lunch where I would "accidentally drop by" to see what I thought of her. I liked the whole package, looked great, personality a big tick, seemed to be exactly what I was looking for.

My "friend" gave me her email address so I happily dashed off an email. Got a response, she didn't seem all that keen, but seemed happy enough to chat with me. I asked her out, once again she seemed a little weird about it. I apologized to her but said I was under the misapprehension she may be interested in dating me. Then she said she didn't understand that as she was engaged to be married!!!

When I contacted my "friend" again, I asked if she knew this girl was engaged. She said, "Oh, yeah, but I didn't think that would matter, I thought you'd be good friends".

You just have to wonder about women, they really do work on an entirely different level.
Click to expand...
Ha!

I met a girl last Saturday who had a boyfriend but who I had a heap of fun dancing with. Long story short, knew she was at the same club again, sent her a message, said g'day and then she left – "oh, I've got a friend coming tonight by herself... you two should meet up – she's good fun, she'd love to meet you." We did. She was really cool, this New Yorker, we both chatted about this band and had a laugh and she indicated she wanted to have a massive night with me ("a 7amer!"). Soon after we're trying to find the smokers. We finally do. "Hey SA, this is campaigner." Actually his name was Kurt but campaigner works better. "This is my boyfriend."

I messaged the first girl who set us up at 3am, thankfully I'm with another girl so I'm not totally pissed off and instead laughing, and ask about her.

"SA, I know. You don't have to get with every single girl you meet."
 
Adelaide Hawk said:
Yes and no. If you read my posts, they were both very awkward situations.
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True, but the major difference being that they're entirely someone else's fault that they were awkward.
 

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My awkward story:

Went out on a random thurs night and my mate talked me into buying a drinks card where it is free spirits for 2hours. So to make the most of it we practically stood at the bar for 2hours drinking as many vodka OJ's as humanly possible. Stupid me forgot I took antibiotics that morning for an ear infection I was getting over so I got absolutely wasted, and in turn found my self across the road spewing in the garden. During this time another girl who was smashed made her way near me with a friend and was spewing her guts up too. The sober girl went and got us both water and helped us out which at the time was freaking awesome. I finally started to recover and offered to pay their taxi home as her friend was still totally blind, she said ok so we found a taxi and headed to her house, when we arrived I said thanks and goodbye, not even thinking this girl would be interested, seen as I was lying in my vomit when she found me. But she said wanna come inside? So I was like yeah ok why not, we put her drunk friend to bed, next minute she is cooking me noodles and s**t, telling me how she wants to become a chef etc etc, next minute I'm balls deep. I wake at 9am not knowing where I am to my mate calling me from my house reminding me our plane leaves to melb in an hour, so I got out of there asap.

Few months later I'm out again and meet a 7 on the dancefloor. One thing leads to another and we're in a cab on the way to her house. We get there and it is the same house, I realise this girl is the one who was spewing her guts up, but she didn't recognise me, anyway I went in hoping her friend wasn't home to cockblock me and she wasnt so i put the 7 to the sword. I wake up in the morning to a very awkward convo with her friend asking why I never replied to her texts or calls. I bailed and the 7 wouldn't talk to me again, which was a shame cause she was a good notch.
 
Crooked Girth said:
My awkward story:

Went out on a random thurs night and my mate talked me into buying a drinks card where it is free spirits for 2hours. So to make the most of it we practically stood at the bar for 2hours drinking as many vodka OJ's as humanly possible. Stupid me forgot I took antibiotics that morning for an ear infection I was getting over so I got absolutely wasted, and in turn found my self across the road spewing in the garden. During this time another girl who was smashed made her way near me with a friend and was spewing her guts up too. The sober girl went and got us both water and helped us out which at the time was freaking awesome. I finally started to recover and offered to pay their taxi home as her friend was still totally blind, she said ok so we found a taxi and headed to her house, when we arrived I said thanks and goodbye, not even thinking this girl would be interested, seen as I was lying in my vomit when she found me. But she said wanna come inside? So I was like yeah ok why not, we put her drunk friend to bed, next minute she is cooking me noodles and s**t, telling me how she wants to become a chef etc etc, next minute I'm balls deep. I wake at 9am not knowing where I am to my mate calling me from my house reminding me our plane leaves to melb in an hour, so I got out of there asap.

Few months later I'm out again and meet a 7 on the dancefloor. One thing leads to another and we're in a cab on the way to her house. We get there and it is the same house, I realise this girl is the one who was spewing her guts up, but she didn't recognise me, anyway I went in hoping her friend wasn't home to cockblock me and she wasnt so i put the 7 to the sword. I wake up in the morning to a very awkward convo with her friend asking why I never replied to her texts or calls. I bailed and the 7 wouldn't talk to me again, which was a shame cause she was a good notch.
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Not-so-subtle brag
 
Remember one from a couple years back now. I was probably 19 and she might've been 17, her school was on the way home from my uni so when I finished at the right time I'd pick her up and drop her home, probably about once a week.

Girl was a strong 8 at least, although I should point out she went to "Lighthouse Christian College" and her Facebook was often posts regarding "Get around God" "Oi God, how good" (They weren't the actual posts, but I can't remember the paragraph long religious posts). Anyway, so she asked me once what's going out like/nightclubbing etc.. do I enjoy it? Knowing she was a real religious girl I went with "I'm already kinda over it, feel like a bit mature for that you know.." Couldn't tell from her reaction at the time, but it seems this was the wrong answer.

So on one of these rides home we're talking, bonding pretty well and she says I should come along to her Youth Night at her Church that they have on Friday night where she is the singer. Thinking "Well this sounds a pretty average night but it'll get me in her good books for sure, may as well." Think at some point I also mentioned that I went to a Catholic Primary School (not that that affected me in any way haha but thought she'd like it). Anyway, rock up to this thing and bugger me if it's not one of those really interactive Churches like you see in America where they're yelling and screaming and get you to tell your story to everyone there. She'd rock out on stage probably 3-4 times and geez she can sing, but then she'd go backstage. To top it off, she was probably back stage for a good half an hour after it finished, and it was genuine Cult-like how many people swarmed to me, trying to get me to "join". Guessing they don't get too many randoms show up.

Worst part is that never went anywhere, and now days she is a talented singer who is still at least an 8, doesn't give a s**t about religion and loves frequent drunken nights out :(

..also think the Friday night it was on was the last time Essendon beat Hawthorn to make matters worse :thumbsdown:
 
So AFS regulars, what's the latest? There are some in here who really need to do a follow up story, just so we know how you're going.
 
Nate7 said:
So AFS regulars, what's the latest? There are some in here who really need to do a follow up story, just so we know how you're going.
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Not much from my end, i havent been going out much lately, so no AFS's lately.
 
Nate7 said:
So AFS regulars, what's the latest? There are some in here who really need to do a follow up story, just so we know how you're going.
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CakeEater said:
Not much from my end, i havent been going out much lately, so no AFS's lately.
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I should put in my own update - I will no longer be putting forward my own AFS as I'm settling/settled down and yes with someone from one of my AFS.
I do however have some gold stories worthy of entry into this thread, although, not my own experiences, rather a "mates" story or two.
 
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