Health Depression

[splat868]

Then you thought wrong. No way I'm going into too much detail on here thou.

You're second paragraph I half get and sort of relate. What do you mean by stable friendship? Does family count or are you talking about long standing friendship? Forming relationships?

s**t you're third paragraph is pretty blunt. You say you can't plan your life been miserable. Yes you can. Sure you don't want to be miserable 24-7 but the happiness concept is a wank few people can afford. Those just focused on survival need to do just that and live according to the circumstance they find themselves in.

I find I have accepted it, you take each day as it comes.

I am here only because I refuse to hurt the fee people who still care, and or rely on me. Friends abandon you because they don't know how, or don't want to deal with your depression.

Eventually, you could end up a hermit. The best thing to do is to make the most of a bad situation. Try to find people who are willing to make an effort for you, and don't bother with those that aren't.

For me, that means less than a handful of people, however it is a big risk, because if those few go bad, the issues multiply.

Try counselling, try anti depressants, hopefully they will work wonders for some.

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[Run n Spread]

Ive now put some plans in motion with my counsellor about getting fit again to help with my physical side of things and also talking more about my issues etc.
Just bought a bike, my 1st ever one at age 32 and im pretty excited to start riding and just get out of my bedroom and stop wasting my life. Just little things like this i hope can kick start positive things for me.

Good luck to you. I think you are being smart. Living life on your own terms as much as possible is the way to go I reckon.

 

[Run n Spread]

For me, that means less than a handful of people, however it is a big risk, because if those few go bad, the issues multiply.

Try counselling, try anti depressants, hopefully they will work wonders for some.

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The problem with anti-depressants is they turn you into a zombie barely able to function. If things go bad however I see no problems with a temporary drug solution. Hell even getting jabbed up Essendon style. Has to be a positive effect thou. All the good stuff is in private health making people a bomb while the rest are left with generic anti depressants, some of which has weird side effects.

 

[splat868]

Yeah,

I'm on generic. They do stuff all for me, but I hate the dizzy feeling you get when you try to come off them.

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[Whistling Hawk]

My father just died(about two weeks ago) and i'm not sure how to deal with it. My family has a rare genetic neurological disorder called Cadasil and he died from this condition and so did my grandfather around the same age of 50. I guess I just feel weird knowing that theres a 50/50 chance of me being severely affected by this condition once i reach my 40s (earlier or later its pretty unpredictable). I know I could die anytime from anything but seeing him suffer like he did for over 10 years has really screwed with my head recently. I haven't told anybody about this (not even my Girlfriend or Mother) and i'm not sure how I could approach the situation with them. It's kind of put me in a pretty depressive state recently and Uni just doesn't even feel worth it at the moment kinda like why am I bothering with this?

Anyways just needed some place to vent about it all.

Just a few quick thoughts...

I think you should go and talk to your regular GP or a GP at uni about all of this and get some advice. They can refer you on to a neurologist or a geneticist if you think you want to know more about the disorder or even get yourself tested. You may also find talking to a counsellor about it all beneficial and there's probably a support network for the disorder. There's plenty of good help and advice out there, just a matter of finding it. Best way to access it all is through your GP.

 

[Sheeds]

Well for the 1st time ever really (I am 29) I have had a bit of a health scare, that is still being investigated. Basically the last 5 or 6 weeks I have been feeling pretty unwell with stomach aches that have been quite severe, especially when i'm at work. Originally they thought it was a viral thing but didn't clear up. More antibiotics and was still having issues so they had me do some blood tests as they did find there was a stomach infection present but the blood test was used to just rule out certain other complications.

The blood test came back with some severe "abnormalities" which is not something you like to hear from the doc. The main area of concern is the liver. My enzyme levels and toxcity whatever they want to call it is basically almost 4 times higher than average. Also some raised Creatine etc which was a concern. Basically I will do another blood test next week and they will see if any of these levels have dropped. Basically for the week it is no alcohol and nothing that can have an adverse effect on the liver like any gym type supplements for example not that I use a lot. But if the results have not come down significantly then the start of renal failure, hepatocellular damage they called it has to be investigated which has obviously got me a little rattled. Best case scenario I guess is the stomach problem is causing my liver to work harder which is what is causing the adverse tests, but I still am worried! Hopefully there is improvement in the test next week and I can start to just get on with things as normal.

But to bring it back to depression the GP seems to think maybe my stress, tension and general anxiety at work is what is perhaps causing some of my stomach issues. So I don't classify myself as depressed, I am generally happy in life everywhere but work but he basically said work depression was still a form of depression and I guess when you hate going into work it can have negative implications. So he has prescribed some medication which he says will help me perhaps deal with daily work anxiety but I am still not 100% sold that any anti-depressant stuff has a good long term outlook.

 

[Run n Spread]

But to bring it back to depression the GP seems to think maybe my stress, tension and general anxiety at work is what is perhaps causing some of my stomach issues. So I don't classify myself as depressed, I am generally happy in life everywhere but work but he basically said work depression was still a form of depression and I guess when you hate going into work it can have negative implications. So he has prescribed some medication which he says will help me perhaps deal with daily work anxiety but I am still not 100% sold that any anti-depressant stuff has a good long term outlook.

Ultimately you are responsible for what you choose to take or not. If you don't want to take medication for whatever reason then don't. Your choose your doctor and have ultimate say on any treatment not the other way round.

 

[vonn]

I wanted to update this because what you said Caesar about changing things before it's too late resonated with me.
I know it's not exactly getting in contact with the business school psychologist or anything drastic but I've decided to only take on 3 units next semester, instead of 4, and dropping down to two if I can't handle that, with the focus on getting more enjoyment back into my life by seeing friends, spending more time with my partner and whatnot and getting back a healthier balance.
I know that sounds really normal, but it was huge for me because it changed my whole degree structure and for someone as rigid and organised as me who likes to think I have my life planned out and at what age I want to do what - it was a pretty big step so thank you.

Well, another semester has pretty much ended and instead of finding it better I found it worse. I've become completely disillusioned with Uni. Not only have I decided I want nothing to do with the corporate world, I'm actively avoiding finding internships or thinking about my future. It's just not something I believe I can do. I have no idea what I want. I have no faith in myself or my future. I cannot foresee me ever being succesful or happy. It's not just Uni too -
As pathetic as this sounds, I was never emotionally stable in relationships but the drama and rollercoaster of dating in the past month or so has pretty much taken it's toll on me. I'm not hungry, I can't sleep properly. I've always been an overreactive person and I was never truly happy for much of my life. It's not so much the guy himself - but the trigger effect it has. Something bad happens - and if you were never truly happy you kind of get back to where you are, and you fall harder. So, I find myself back to how I felt months ago, except this time worse because it was another failed relationship, yet again another failure which was largely my fault.
This is not a pity story, but I need to vent. Since I was 7, (and I don't hate my parents for this), I was at home by myself from about 11am to 9pm everyday with no company. 365 days a year. I don't think I've had a proper Christmas in my childhood, or received a present. I know how first world problem, 'typical snob doesn't realise what she has' this sounds but they overcompensated by spoiling me and now I have no substance in my life in the form of meaningful relationships, but I have material things and they mean nothing to me anymore.
On top of that in primary I was bullied and had anxiety. Secondary, I went a bit crazy and did things I regret but I thought I turned a corner in my later years. Then post HSC/Uni I realise I'm the same insecure, unstable and uncertain person I was. I wish I could say I have a good support system of friends and family, but even though I know I have some close ones, I can never ever truly show them how I feel or trust them. I don't think I've hugged my parents in the last few years. I can't even remember the last time I actively tried to show affection towards a friend.
However, for some reason I seem to over-accomodate in a relationship. I am so concerned about not coming across as needy and emotionally clingy, I go too far the other way and become cold then do the opposite. Then because I've never really ever been reassured, I believe every guy is too good for me. Add to the fact I always date 'above' my league and I've been burnt a lot. I've given up on that too. So there it is, nothing of substance in my career, familial relationships/friendships and love life.
A week or two ago, I also got news that a mole I had removed was more serious then they first thought. Aside from that which needs regular checkups and tests, my health is fine. I'm grateful for that, but I'm scared.
I'm just so tired. I'm only 20 as well. I feel like this should be the best years but I feel so old and sick of it, I genuinely don't think I've been happy for a long long time. I can't remember the last time I've been grateful or thankful for anything. Does that make me a selfish person?

 

[nicky]

That is a very honest post Vonn.

A few things. Overall, my 20s were awful. I had alot of fun but ultimately I was quite lonely (even though i was surrounded by lots of people) and i was insecure.

The problems that you had growing up don't sound trivial so no need to worry about that. It's all relative anyway.

You seem like you have a great understanding of where you're at and i think that it would benefit you to see a psychologist (female). They will assist you in dealing with any residue childhood stuff as well as help you with your self esteem and build good relationships (romantic and friendships).

In terms of working, i don't blame you for not wanting to join the corporate world. You know alot of people just do things because that is what they're told to do or they just tick boxes through a lack of creativity. It sounds like you are not prepared to do that, probably because you want to experience life on a deeper and more fulfilling level. Align to your true self.

My advice is to ride it out and while you're riding it out learn what it is that makes you happy and passionate. Then work towards doing that as a career.

 

[RW]

In terms of working, i don't blame you for not wanting to join the corporate world. You know alot of people just do things because that is what they're told to do or they just tick boxes through a lack of creativity. It sounds like you are not prepared to do that, probably because you want to experience life on a deeper and more fulfilling level. Align to your true self.

+1, excellent post nicky.

I think a lot of depression / mental illness comes about when we're not aligned to our true selves. A couple of good books I can recommend if you are searching for the right path: "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was" by Barbara Sher, and anything by Cal Newport.

I would suggest going out and download a mindfulness app for your phone, it will take you through guided breathing / meditation activities, you can choose the time limit (15 minutes works well). It helps you re-focus when you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed. "The Power of Now" by Echkart Tolle is also pretty good.

But, I echo nicky's advice, if it gets too much, seek professional help! They have far more experience at dealing with these and other issues than any of us BigFooty posters.

 

[nicky]

+1, excellent post nicky.

I think a lot of depression / mental illness comes about when we're not aligned to our true selves. A couple of good books I can recommend if you are searching for the right path: "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was" by Barbara Sher, and anything by Cal Newport.

I would suggest going out and download a mindfulness app for your phone, it will take you through guided breathing / meditation activities, you can choose the time limit (15 minutes works well). It helps you re-focus when you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed. "The Power of Now" by Echkart Tolle is also pretty good.

But, I echo nicky's advice, if it gets too much, seek professional help! They have far more experience at dealing with these and other issues than any of us BigFooty posters.

I love your whole post rwfan83. The mindfulness stuff is spot on (jon kabat-zinn is a fantastic mindfulness expert. I have his audio - mindfulness for beginners which is terrific and also has a guided mindfulness meditation).

Just to clarify the bold. When i advise people to see a psychologist, i don't mean it in a way like "whoa, it looks like you can't cope on your own, get help".

I mean in a way where you go to them with a list of things you would like help with and ask them for strategies to help. Like self esteem etc.

Anyway, thanks for your post rwfan83, it's great that you're aligning to your true self

 

[RW]

Just to clarify the bold. When i advise people to see a psychologist, i don't mean it in a way like "whoa, it looks like you can't cope on your own, get help".

I mean in a way where you go to them with a list of things you would like help with and ask them for strategies to help. Like self esteem etc.

Yep, exactly right. That's pretty much what I did when I needed some help getting a handle on my anxiety, it was more I was given a few exercises to do and I went away and did them.

 

[External Inputs]

The problem with anti-depressants is they turn you into a zombie barely able to function. If things go bad however I see no problems with a temporary drug solution. Hell even getting jabbed up Essendon style. Has to be a positive effect thou. All the good stuff is in private health making people a bomb while the rest are left with generic anti depressants, some of which has weird side effects.

There are many different anti-depressants on the market and their effects vary considerably depending on the individual. Your statement is just completely misleading,

 

[Willo_]

Hey all... just wanted to ask some questions, share some thoughts... that type of thing. I'm pretty naive with depression and just wanted others perspectives... forgive me if this has been covered buy I haven't read this whole thread (it's huge!!)

So the last few weeks I have been struggling along, miserable at work (this has been probably going on for a few months) and struggling to actually achieve anything when I'm there, constantly tired, have joined my local bowling club after a few years off from playing but have not been enjoying that even (and playing accordingly)
Left work today as I just felt ratshit and and run down. Went to the docs and he asked if I was depressed, sent me off to get blood tests etc.

The asking if I was depressed comment got me thinking... what do you classify as depressed as opposed to just stuck in a rut or having a rough trot?

Looking deeper I have had a full on 3 years really with the unplanned and unexpected arrival of a son, and supporting my other half who has been suffering from depression and anxiety herself... is it just a result of it all finally wearing me down, is there more to it and what is the best approach to handle it...

 

[External Inputs]

It seems like you've highlighted some of your problems in your post, Shane. You can't expect to be under duress for long periods of time without it getting you down. Everyone gets depressed to some degree at some point, it's part of the human condition, but it's the degree and length of these episodes that makes all the difference. The blood tests may show something, if you're sick or run down you may not be getting the nutrients the body needs to make the chemicals your brain needs to control your mood. I'd certainly look at the medical possibilities first.

I spent years chasing my "depression" from "chronic fatigue like symptoms" with little luck but a medical mountain of bullshit bigger than Everest. Now I have a positive diagnosis for Lyme disease, via a German test, the disease they reckon we don't have in Australia. Fun times......

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Hey all... just wanted to ask some questions, share some thoughts... that type of thing. I'm pretty naive with depression and just wanted others perspectives... forgive me if this has been covered buy I haven't read this whole thread (it's huge!!)

So the last few weeks I have been struggling along, miserable at work (this has been probably going on for a few months) and struggling to actually achieve anything when I'm there, constantly tired, have joined my local bowling club after a few years off from playing but have not been enjoying that even (and playing accordingly)
Left work today as I just felt ratshit and and run down. Went to the docs and he asked if I was depressed, sent me off to get blood tests etc.

The asking if I was depressed comment got me thinking... what do you classify as depressed as opposed to just stuck in a rut or having a rough trot?

Looking deeper I have had a full on 3 years really with the unplanned and unexpected arrival of a son, and supporting my other half who has been suffering from depression and anxiety herself... is it just a result of it all finally wearing me down, is there more to it and what is the best approach to handle it...

Persistant low mood (DSM states 2 weeks or more) that impacts on your functioning. Not enjoying previously pleasurable activities (i.e. lawn bowls) or anhedonia is a common symptom. How is your sleep and appetite ATM?

 

[Willo_]

Persistant low mood (DSM states 2 weeks or more) that impacts on your functioning. Not enjoying previously pleasurable activities (i.e. lawn bowls) or anhedonia is a common symptom. How is your sleep and appetite ATM?

Sleep... At the moment if I get 6 hours and only wake up once it's a good night... That can also be sure to me being up early to try gym before work... But I seem to have been battling and waking up a lot as well

Appetite is a bit all over the place.... Go from not hungry at all to starving

 

[External Inputs]

I'm just so tired. I'm only 20 as well. I feel like this should be the best years but I feel so old and sick of it, I genuinely don't think I've been happy for a long long time. I can't remember the last time I've been grateful or thankful for anything. Does that make me a selfish person?

Your childhood sounds very similar to mine in parts, I was an only child in a home with often absent parents and a hostile father. I struggled with relationships and affection, I certainly had no real life examples that actually showed that in action. A kiss and a hug, were rare events from my mother, a kind word from my father was something that never happened.

Anyway, after a great relationship I'd had with someone I was madly in love with fell apart, and I became aware of the deep insecurities they'd kept hidden for so long, I was convinced to go to counselling by a good friend, basically to find out where I'd gone wrong, as it'd been hard to get much from my partner at the time.

Through all that I learned a lot, about myself, my partner, my childhood and how it affected my behaviour as an adult. I'd really recommend it, as problems from those days and their manifestations in your eventual adult behaviour are not so easy for the person affected to see. I know my ex partner had self esteem issues that seemed to stem from childhood, but there was nothing that stood out really to me.

At only 20 years old, you've plenty of time ahead. You can't change the past, can't make the childhood a good one, but you can stop it ruining the rest of your life.
Although it is hard work dredging though the past and trying to make changes, and once you're aware of what you need to do it'll require constant work to avoid old habits, but improvements can be made. Some find it too hard, too painful, but they're just going to endure more of the same for the rest of their lives.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Sleep... At the moment if I get 6 hours and only wake up once it's a good night... That can also be sure to me being up early to try gym before work... But I seem to have been battling and waking up a lot as well

Appetite is a bit all over the place.... Go from not hungry at all to starving

Man, it's good that you're still going to the gym. If you can maintain that keep doing it. What does your GP think (regarding meds, counselling etc)? As many have suggested in this thread, a referral to a psychologist may be beneficial (sounds like you've been under a loada stress, therefore some strategies to address this'd be helpful). As for meds, if you're experiencing neurovegetative symptoms (poor sleep, appetite, concentration, energy, libido) they may help (however, I'd not be making recommendations without a thorough assessment). Good luck whichever way you go

 

[Willo_]

Man, it's good that you're still going to the gym. If you can maintain that keep doing it. What does your GP think (regarding meds, counselling etc)? As many have suggested in this thread, a referral to a psychologist may be beneficial (sounds like you've been under a loada stress, therefore some strategies to address this'd be helpful). As for meds, if you're experiencing neurovegetative symptoms (poor sleep, appetite, concentration, energy, libido) they may help (however, I'd not be making recommendations without a thorough assessment). Good luck whichever way you go

Well the gym is my little escape as I see it, it's a place i can go and just chuck my headphones in and not talk to anyone and zone out.. And I'm awake at 5.30 anyway so just getting up and going...

Gp hasn't said anything really. My 1st instinct when he mentioned anything today was to dismiss it, then after I left I thought maybe I should have mentioned I'm struggling to get to work, that I don't enjoy it etc.
Have an appointment on Wednesday so may mention it then

 

[RW]

Depression can have a number of causes, it's tough to diagnose accurately without knowing the individual's situation. Sometimes it has a physical cause, other times it can be triggered by environmental factors such as work situation, it can also be a response to traumatic events such as a difficult childhood or bad break-up. The important thing to remember is that like any other illness, it can be treated. Exercise helps, but it's equally important to remember be kinder to yourself. Accept that you are going through a rough patch and it DOESN'T mean you are weak.

Definitely have all the blood tests and rule out any physical cause first before figuring out the next step. Good luck!

 

[Willo_]

Accept that you are going through a rough patch and it DOESN'T mean you are weak.

Definitely have all the blood tests and rule out any physical cause first before figuring out the next step. Good luck!

appreciate the advice and kind words... also from you Medhurst

I'm not jumping to conclusions that I am suffering from depression or anything... Just more approaching anything with an open mind and also being aware of what to look for and what may be happening, and as I mentioned am pretty naive about it all.. which considering I have been dealing with the effects of it from a family perspective for a couple of years probably isn't great either

 

[Run n Spread]

There are many different anti-depressants on the market and their effects vary considerably depending on the individual. Your statement is just completely misleading,

Can only go on personal experience. Sure there are a lot out there and doctors will forever tinker to get the dose just right while sometimes not taking into account the value of a short term immediate solution.

Still ultimately it is up to the patient to choose what to/what not to take. Any alternative thou would need to be suggested/researched by the patient. Mention depression/sadness etc in a doctor's surgery and the prescription pad will be out for an anti depressant faster then you can blink/discuss further. Mention any other prescription that may be worth while and have the discussion shut down. Hard not to believe some drugs are favoured (promoted) over others for whatever reasons. Ultimately thou it is up to the patient.

 

[Run n Spread]

Looking deeper I have had a full on 3 years really with the unplanned and unexpected arrival of a son, and supporting my other half who has been suffering from depression and anxiety herself... is it just a result of it all finally wearing me down, is there more to it and what is the best approach to handle it...

Look man I don't want to sound like a cliche but you have to have a plan going forward. As much as circumstances have changed/been unplanned you can not change the past. Frankly I don't know if you are depressed/run down/out of steam but look at your life and what you can do given the circumstances to make it positive.

If you can pinpoint a reason you are unhappy all the better. If not is it possible to take a mental break for a while? As in just do the bare minimum required to get by while you assess what needs doing.

 

[Run n Spread]

-
As pathetic as this sounds, I was never emotionally stable in relationships but the drama and rollercoaster of dating in the past month or so has pretty much taken it's toll on me. I'm not hungry, I can't sleep properly. I've always been an overreactive person and I was never truly happy for much of my life. It's not so much the guy himself - but the trigger effect it has. Something bad happens - and if you were never truly happy you kind of get back to where you are, and you fall harder. So, I find myself back to how I felt months ago, except this time worse because it was another failed relationship, yet again another failure which was largely my fault.

I'm just so tired. I'm only 20 as well. I feel like this should be the best years but I feel so old and sick of it, I genuinely don't think I've been happy for a long long time. I can't remember the last time I've been grateful or thankful for anything. Does that make me a selfish person?

The 20s aren't necessarily the best years of your life. Sure you are young and relatively committment free but are also having to make a niche for yourself in the world, discovering who you are as a person and your values, building a career, learning to relate to others etc etc. Can be very trying and hard. Don't think just because you are 20 you have to be happy 24-7. You are learning a lot and experiencing a lot.

One thing thou is any problems/anxities/unhappiness you have needs to be addressed before it forms a pattern and festers.

The thing about relationships is interesting. Don't worry about dating out of your league/assessing relationship failures just enjoy spending time with people you like and who's company you enjoy. Just narrow your focus to a few key points and go from there.