Media Falcon Files: The Defender's Club- Season 34

[BRAB]

He pops up from time to time to shriek at porps, myself, and Loonerty.

You have no idea what consent is.

 

[Agent93]

You have no idea what consent is.

Whatever it is, I'm not sure ArdentEagle provided it.

 

[BRAB]

Whatever it is, I'm not sure ArdentEagle provided it.

I did absolutely nothing wrong and you know it.

 

[Falconista]

Round two proved to be a round of contrasting fortunes for the twelve listed fullbacks. Alas, half of our brethren conceded 5, 6 or 7 goals this week while four fullbacks conceded one or two goals only. However, our defender of the week is obvious- Grockadoc of the Furies who matched jackster83's performance from last week in keeping their listed opponent SCORELESS! Well done Grockadoc, you were clearly the biggest factor in the Furies round one win.

The Derf 'Leader':

After conceding 7 to the magnificent Bonz, Shermy storms to the top of the Derf narrowly ahead of Bombers front footer BLUEALLTHRU.

The BAD Leaderboard:

Tenacious D(efend):

Jackster couldn't repeat the heroism of last round however remains one under par. Shoutout to veterans JoshWoodenSpoon and BRAB who continue to demonstrate their defensive nous and have kept their listed opponents to modest returns.

Squad Derf:


Until next round, that's the Defender's Club for this week.​

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

Thank Allah for Blacky stinking it right up.

 

[Kilroy]

Thank Allah for Blacky stinking it right up.

Gotcha covered BLUEALLTHRU

Team defence.

Go ahead in the noble quest, the glorious womb of the Baghdadi.

 

[Falconista]

Round three was mostly a fantastic qooty weekend for the twelve listed fullbacks. Only two full backs conceded over 4 goals with another instance of a fullback keeping their opponent to 0.0. Congratulations TubbsFarquhar for keeping your listed opponent SCORELESS- the third such instance of a fullback achieving this so far this season!

The Derf 'Leader':



Despite keeping Bonz to just 3 goals, Bombers front footer BLUEALLTHRU moves to the top of the Derf. The gap though is narrow with myself and Blacky breathing down Blue's neck. Van_Dyke will be breathing a sigh of relief that Moz didn't bring their kicking boots kicking an astounding 2.8 in their clash!

The BAD Leader board:

Tenacious D(efend):



Once more, jackster83 was looked after by the sim conceding just the one goal. TubbsFarquhar storms to third with their masterful performance while BRAB continues their consistency as the only three-gamer to not concede a bag of 5 plus this season. JoshWoodenSpoon was taught a lesson in the wet by former teammate Barrybran dropping to sixth.

Squad Derf:


Until next round, that's the Defender's Club for this week.​

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

Looking forward to the update, I've just taken the Fred medallist to a FB clinic! Bonz you won't be my only scalp this season and I hope you appreciated the two goals you got in junk time.

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

s**t I really am s**t at this Qooty stuff. Could not win a chook raffle with all the tickets!

 

[Falconista]

s**t I really am s**t at this Qooty stuff. Could not win a chook raffle with all the tickets!

Good teams and players ease into a season and peak for finals. You might be a qeptember specialist.

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

Good teams and players ease into a season and peak for finals. You might be a qeptember specialist.

Thanks for the confidence booster to my ego mate. I can assure you the last time I played a big Qinal I failed miserably on the big stage in the big dance.

 

[Falconista]

Welcome back to the defender's club. In spite of a few high scoring matches this round, the league's fullbacks have acquitted themselves well with no more than 6 goals conceded. This week no listed fullback kept their opponent scoreless, however jackster83 again was given much loving from the sim conceding just 2 behinds.

The Derf leader:

Plenty of movement on the Derf board this weekend with little separating the improving BLUEALLTHRU down to NinjaSwan in sixth. Shermy will need to spend a bit of time doing one-on-one drills at training this week after conceding 15 goals in just three matches.

The BAD leader board:


Tenacious D(efend):

With -30 bonus points this week, jackster83 again returns to an under par score. TubbsFarquhar and Grockadoc remain well positioned after four and three matches respectively. BRAB continues their run of consistency as the only fullback not to have conceded a bag to the listed full forward.

Squad Derf:


The Defender's Club will return.​

 

[Falconista]

In round five, the number of the week was

Half of the listed fullbacks this week conceded four goals. The Royals vs Wonders match had the stingiest fullbacks with Blacky conceding just two goals and NinjaSwan proving why they survived the dramatic Wonder reshuffle conceding just one.

The Derf 'leader'

BLUEALLTHRU's grip on the Derf is now in doubt with Matt_352 closing to within one straight kick with yours truly not too far behind either. The goal distribution is becoming a pattern-lovers dream with 12 through 19 all represented.

The BAD leader board

After jackster83 conceded half a dozen to Barrybran, the gap in the BAD has narrowed dramatically.


With BRAB conceding five, each fullback has now incurred a penalty on the Tenacious D. Hopefully there are some clean sheet bonuses to be earned in the coming weeks.

Squad Derf


The Defender's Club will return. Go well, full backs!​

 

[Falconista]

The full backs of Sweet showed in round six our awesomeness with half conceding three or less goals. However brethren, we need to get around one of our members who was monstered by the sim. Dragons fullback Matt_352 got a sore neck and backside as Bluelegs kicked nine which stands as the biggest bag of the season so far.

The Derf 'leader'

After todays horror show, Matt_352 has raced to a huge lead in the Derf. I too copped a pounding conceding 4.4 while in contrast, Van_Dyke and BLUEALLTHRU conceded just 1.0 to their listed opponents. This sees BLUE give up a three round lead in this award much to his delight- pour yourself an extra coldie tonight!

The 'BAD' leader board


Tenacious D(efend):

No dramatic changes to the Tenacious D this week however Van_Dyke improved their score and is now part of the best four with jackster83, TubbsFarquhar and Grockadoc.

Squad Derf

The Swamprats stay in first place with the Demons now breathing down their neck as the only clubs who concede less than three goals on average to listed full forwards.

See you after round seven. Keep up the defence!

NinjaSwan Shermy Blacky Mooch JoshWoodenSpoon ​

 

[Falconista]

A fine weekend with no listed full forward having more than six scores which again demonstrates how awesome the league fullbacks are this season. In addition, we also welcome our fourteenth member with Senor M getting the call up at the Bears.

The Derf 'leader'

With both BLUEALLTHRU and myself having good afternoons, the logjam congests further between second and ninth. TubbsFarquhar sits pretty ahead of the bye this week which could see them jumped by a few players.

The 'BAD' leader board

jackster83's lead remains though the lead is being rapidly whittled back by the surging Van_Dyke, NinjaSwan and Blacky who are all in superb form.

Tenacious D(efend):

Again, no dramatic changes to the Tenacious D this week with jackster83 having yet another great match. Senor M slotted beautifully into the full back position to debut in second spot.

Squad Derf

We have movement! The Demons have hit the front in the Squad Derf conceding an average of just 2.33 to full forwards per round. Along with the Swamprats, they are demonstrably the best two teams with no other team averaging less than three.

See you next weekend for the eight instalment of The Defenders Club. Keep being

Mooch Shermy BRAB Grockadoc ​

 

[Falconista]

This week, the overriding emotion can be summed up in a gif:

It was not the weekend for the fullbacks of Sweet. The best totals conceded were 2 goals 4 by Senor M and Shermy with heaps of bags conceded. What's worse is even the SIM was being nasty such as in the Gumbies v Demons match where both fullbacks (myself and Van_Dyke) were moved from fullback by the 1 minute mark of the second quarter and watched our replacements give up plenty of scores.

The Derf 'leader':

The top two stay the same but with some big tallies conceded, there was much movement from there on. Van_Dyke remains very well placed still in their teens for goals conceded while four others are now in their thirties.

The 'BAD' leader board:

Blacky with a few good weeks not only storming to second but also close enough statistically to take top spot from jackster83 very soon.

Tenacious D(efend):

Senor M proved last week was no fluke and was a major factor in the Bears win today.

Squad Derf:


May we get a better set of figures next weekend. Let's just back quietly out of the room and pretend this weekend didn't happen. Go well, crew.

Grockadoc Matt_352 BLUEALLTHRU BRAB NinjaSwan Mooch ​

 

[Falconista]

A weekend of high scores was not ideal for the fullbacks of Sweet. Despite the ridiculous scoring, two of our crew managed to concede just one goal straight. Congratulations to Matt_352 (against then Fred leader Barrybran, no less) and Mooch who are clearly this rounds best full backs.

The Derf 'leader':

Just when you think a pattern is emerging, the Derf race closes again. All I can say is thank goodness my opponents aren't particularly accurate or else I'd have a huge lead!

The 'BAD' leader board:


Tenacious D(efend):

Penalty points have not been kind to NinjaSwan in this award while Senor M has continued to flourish as a fullback jumping into second.

Squad Derf:

Now no team averages under 3 goals to the opposing full forward. Let's hope we can have some nice weeks on the run home to get those averages down once more.

Go well defenders!

Blacky Van_Dyke BRAB jackster83 Shermy Grockadoc TubbsFarquhar​

 

[Falconista]

YIKES!
This weekend we welcomed a new member (our 15th) with Mesc taking the field at fullback for Coney Island. We also saw another incredible jackster83 performance which surely has them in the rolling all-SFA team (stares hard at DenieD). Jackster did not concede a goal this weekend to Dinsdale. At the other end of the pineapple though, holidaying Bombers skipper BLUEALLTHRU seemingly was still in holiday mode conceding 11 to 150-gamer Barrybran.

The Derf 'leader':


As a result of the horror show at Abdu Prison today, BAT has stormed to a huge lead in the Derf having conceded an astounding 41 goals so far this season. His opponent's for the next few weeks better prepare for some almighty 'ear massages'.

The 'BAD' leader board:

Business as usual with jackster staying a long way in front.

Tenacious D(efend):


Luckily for BAT, the Bombers kicked the final couple of goals versus the Gumbies and avoided the 500 point penalty for an opponent outscoring your team. Still, with the awful day at the qoffice, BAT has slumped to the bottom with jackster extending their lead with more bonus points this weekend.

Squad Derf:

After their fine weekends, the Swamprats, Bears, Demons and Old Boys are all back to making life extremely hard for full forwards and are shaping as the best teams in this regard.

Go well defenders! See you next week in hopefully happier times.

Matt_352 Blacky BRAB Shermy Mooch Senor M Van_Dyke Grockadoc

PS: might be time for TheInjuryFactory to edit this media piece : TIFmedia's: Reverse ALL-SFA Team​

 

[DenieD]

stares hard at DenieD

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

PS: might be time for @TheInjuryFactory to edit this media piece : TIFmedia's: Reverse ALL-SFA Team

You were awfully quiet during the week when you probably should have given your own skipper the same advice.

Very Titanic, Bruce J Ismay sneaking onto the liferaft areas from you my friend.

I look forward to you being more forthcoming this week now you have found your voice.

 

[Falconista]

This week, one defender stood well above all others. For the second time this season, the overachieving jackster83 achieved a clean sheet!

Unfortunately though, some big scores were conceded particularly in the shootout between the Dragons and Furies.

The Derf 'leader':

BLUEALLTHRU atoned for last week conceding just three goals this week and moving from top in this contest. Unfortunately each of NinjaSwan, Grockadoc and Matt_352 conceded many six or seven goals to top 40 conceded for the season to date. Conversely, shoutout to Senor M who is conceding a league best of just 2.4 goals per match- an outstanding team sheet decision there by tony and the Bears.

The 'BAD' leader board:

Again, no movement in the top four here. Can Blacky sneak to the front with the Swamprats having this weekends bye?

Tenacious D(efend):

Five penalties were handed out this weekend to the full backs who concede 5+ goals. Jackster's awesomeness earned them another bonus moving to a stunning lead in this comp ahead of the in-form Senor M.

Squad Derf:

Start the engraving! The Swamprats have proved to be a full forward's toughest opponent this season and will almost certainly end the home and away season as the season's stingiest team.

Speak next weekend, legends.

Van_Dyke Shermy Mesc BRAB Mooch
​

 

[Falconista]

Can we just pretend this weekend didn't exist?!?

On behalf of most of the league's fullbacks, round twelve can get stuffed! Shermy and BLUEALLTHRU were the only shining lights of the round as the rest of us (headed by your truly) were absolutely monstered.

The Derf 'leader':

The Wonders decided to introduce veteran croweater 41 to the fullback position this weekend. Unfortunately though, this didn't end well.

The 'BAD' leader board:

Blacky has themselves well placed to podium ahead of the last round bye. Surely jackster83 wins this in a canter?!?

Tenacious D(efend):

So many penalty points this weekend. 6 players were penalised 10 points for conceding 5-9 goals with myself penalised 30 for conceding 10 goals to The Filth Wizard.

Squad Derf:

Let's finish the season frugally. See you next week for the final Defenders Club of season 34.

Next week, we be like this.

BRAB Van_Dyke Mooch Mesc Grockadoc Matt_352 Senor M ​

 

[Kilroy]

Lookin’ good with only one round to go BLUEALLTHRU !!!

 

[Falconista]

Lookin’ good with only one round to go BLUEALLTHRU !!!

View attachment 1542539

Mmmmmm......requests trade to Bombers.

 

[Falconista]

Right, let's bring this thing home.

A much better weekend for the finish to the home and away season with no full back conceding more than six goals in round thirteen. In even better news, TWO fullbacks conceded zero goals to the full forward this weekend- Grockadoc and BLUEALLTHRU. BLUE though, is the defender of the round conceding a perfect clean sheet.

The Derf 'leader':

And, the winner of the reverse Fred, unsurprisingly from the bottom of the table team is Matt_352. Both Matt and I conceded 82 scoring shots to our opponents- the season 34 worst.

The next three awards are a bit of an anti-climax having been the jackster83 show for much of the season.

The 'BAD' leader board:

Considering it was just the twelve match season, some extraordinarily low scores have been recorded in this award. A bad score below 2 is astounding.

Tenacious D(efend):

This award was devised to reward consistent performance, punish poor performance and reward clean sheets. No surprises then that jackster carved up.

Squad Derf:

The Wonders tried some late season positional changes in search of some solace but, alas, the bags conceded kept racking up. They along with the Gumbies and Dragons sit in the hall of shame for fullback defending this season. At the other end of the table, the Swamprats and Demons have been kept alive this season due to the monumental efforts of their superstar back.



The Stingy Bastard award, to the full back who kept their opponent goalless on the greatest number of occasions. Four players met the criteria- BLUEALLTHRU and TubbsFarquhar achieved it one each, Grockadoc twice but the winner achieving three clean sheets:

jackster83

The BAD (Best At Defending) Medallist. This award goes to the full back with the lowest BAD Metric score over the season. This metric is the total number of points conceded divided by the square of the number of games played at full back.

jackster83 with a score of 1.38

The Golden Scrotum will be awarded to the player who has an opponent kick 5 or more goals on them the most through the season. Every fullback except one-gamer Raveneyes conceded a bag this season. croweater41 unfortunately did it in both their matches at fullback but the overall winner of this, with six bags conceded:

Matt_352

The Derf Medal. This medal is awarded to the full back who concedes the most goals during the home and away season.

Matt_352 conceding 57.25.367

The Tenacious D(efend) – designed to punish severely a fullback who has bags kicked on them and reward them for keeping their opponent goalless or even better scoreless.

jackster83 with a mean score of just 5.67

Squad Derf- thus measures which team concedes the most goals to full forwards. This accounts for SIM movements or teams who change their fullback over the course of the season.

who conceded just 27 goals in their 12 h&a matches.



To finish, I'd like to acknowledge all those who started a match in the full back possie- jackster83, Raveneyes, TubbsFarquhar, Grockadoc, Van_Dyke, Blacky, Mooch, Senor M, BLUEALLTHRU, BRAB, JoshWoodenSpoon, Shermy, NinjaSwan, Falconista, Matt_352, Mesc and croweater 41. We are the true stars of the team and most important member of the qooty spine.

To finish, a special shoutout to Loonerty who came up with many of these awards and analyses a few seasons back and was the inspiration for this thread.​