Funny s**t your kids have said

[LanceRomance]

My 4 year old came up to me and said "Dad, you are fat"

I said "that wasn't very nice"

He came back about half an hour later and said "I'm sorry Dad, you are only a little bit fat"

 

[thurmanmunson]

My son and I went into a pizza place and there was a rather rotund lady at the counter and my son blurted out loudly 'Hey Dad, look how fat she is. She must be eating a lot of pizza!'

Classic

 

[LanceRomance]

Ok.

So LR jr had this to say to his mum this morning

LRjr: Mum... can I watch tv?
Mum: No, you can find an activity to do.

Lr junior goes to the black board

Mum: thats a nice picture ...what is that?

LRjr: thats you turning the TV on.

 

[LanceRomance]

Ok.. so today

Lance jr was whipping me in the face with a tea towel.



Me: Stop whipping me

Lance Jr: Use your beautiful manners

Me: Please stop whipping me

Lance Jr: good boy

 

[Duritz]

Lance JR has it all over his parents.

 

[LanceRomance]

Lance JR has it all over his parents.

Yeah. He is a right smart arse.

 

[Underdog]

My 4 year old came up to me and said "Dad, you are fat"

I said "that wasn't very nice"

He came back about half an hour later and said "I'm sorry Dad, you are only a little bit fat"

Someone's been watching a bit much Peppa Pig.

 

[LanceRomance]

Someone's been watching a bit much Peppa Pig.

yeah, Peppa Pig is an obnoxious little piggy.

 

[Quivorir]

I like Lance Jr.

 

[Underdog]

I like Lance Jr.

Better than Lance Snr?

 

[IschenkoUBeauty]

Called some kid's mother a fat c*** in the school ground one day. Good times.

 

[LanceRomance]

Lance Jr this morning to his mother


'Mum, I sneezed in the jam so now it has a NEW flavour. Strawberry and nose.'

*hurls jam into bin*

'Mum, why did you throw the jam out?'

 

[Quivorir]

I love this kid.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Your kid sounds like he has personality plus LanceRomance

 

[Duritz]

Lance Jr this morning to his mother


'Mum, I sneezed in the jam so now it has a NEW flavour. Strawberry and nose.'

*hurls jam into bin*

'Mum, why did you throw the jam out?'

LMFAO

 

[royboy2]

Was at the shopping centre with my youngest son when a group of possibly Sudanese (very dark skinned) people pass.

"Hey Dad?" comes the call from my son

"yeeaaahh" I answer pensively, dreading what could possibly come next.

"Why are their teeth so white?"

Turns out I'm the racist

 

[MisterMarcus]

Lance Jr this morning to his mother


'Mum, I sneezed in the jam so now it has a NEW flavour. Strawberry and nose.'

*hurls jam into bin*

'Mum, why did you throw the jam out?'

This made me laugh so hard, I've just had a 5 minutes coughing fit.............

 

[ChappyUK]

Was at the shopping centre with my youngest son when a group of possibly Sudanese (very dark skinned) people pass.

"Hey Dad?" comes the call from my son

"yeeaaahh" I answer pensively, dreading what could possibly come next.

"Why are their teeth so white?"

Turns out I'm the racist

My 4 yo came home from nursery the other day and said she doesn't like brown boys.

I asked why and said she shouldn't say that. Supposedly one boy is quite rough and takes her toys.

She now comes home and says I still don't like brown boys but I only say it to you. Still some work to do.

 

[Quivorir]

My kid just says Mum, Dad and Nan.

 

[ChappyUK]

My kid just says Mum, Dad and Nan.

When my daughter first learnt to speak she used to say Mumdy and Dammy. Think she was trying for the most efficient way to get both of our attention.

 

[Catfish Alley]

My 4 yo came home from nursery the other day and said she doesn't like brown boys.

I asked why and said she shouldn't say that. Supposedly one boy is quite rough and takes her toys.

She now comes home and says I still don't like brown boys but I only say it to you. Still some work to do.

That reminded me. Last week my 2 year old was playing with a friend called Nico. After we left, he kept calling him ni**er instead for some reason. Got home and there was a black woman in the entrance way. I held my breath waiting for it but luckily he kept his mouth shut.

 

[Duritz]

My kid said the fave couldn't win the Warrnambool cup yesterday. Oh how we laughed.

 

[LanceRomance]

Lance Jr:'Mummy, that's a nice photo of you and daddy. Where am I in the photo?'
Mummy: 'That's before you were in mummy's tummy.'
Lance Jr: 'Then where was I? Was I in your elbow?'

 

[Hudu Gurusingha]

My kid come up to me the other......oh hang on dont have kids I have a life



This is only a joke. I repeat just a joke.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

Lance Jr:'Mummy, that's a nice photo of you and daddy. Where am I in the photo?'
Mummy: 'That's before you were in mummy's tummy.'
Lance Jr: 'Then where was I? Was I in your elbow?'

This kid is awesome.