Lame jokes

[oaksy]

I love em post your favourite here.

Q. How did the butcher introduce his wife?
A. Meat Pattie.

 

[drew_j]

You won't beat this one for bad.

Q: Why did the bridge go to hospital?

A: The car ran over it.

 

[fryingpan]

I raise you to this, possibly the best joke in the world.

What happened to the wooden car?

It wooden go.

 

[crudbucket]

OK, then what about the steel car ?

Steel wooden go !

 

[oaksy]

haha great stuff keep em coming. doesnt matter how bad they are.

heres another one

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

 

[fryingpan]

Haha I laugh at that one all the time however I tell it slightly differently:

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile?

Robin, get in the Batmobile

 

[oaksy]

Haha I laugh at that one all the time however I tell it slightly differently:

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile?

Robin, get in the Batmobile

yeah that one probably sounds better. my only defence is that i copied it from another website

another couple:

what do you call a fly with no wings?

a walk.


why was the tomato blushing?

because it saw the salad dressing.


What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

 

[Scroater]

A man and a giraffe are having a drink in the pub. The giraffe flakes it on the floor from too much drink and the man gets up to leave. The barman says "Hey you can't leave that lyin' there." The man says "dont be stupid it's not a lion it's a giraffe."

 

[Super Goalie]

What do you do with a sick budgie?

Give it the tweetment

 

[Barts]

Man 1: My dog's got no nose.
Man 2: How does he smell?
Man 1: Terrible!

 

[Bourky23]

hahaha i love lame jokes

 

[Bourky23]

Q: why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: because he got a hole in one

 

[Bourky23]

another one!

Q: what shoes does a burglar wear?
A: sneakers!

 

[chickens_law]

What did the prostitute say?

I want eddie

 

[CONS_SS]

A mother, a father and a baby tomato are walking down the street when the baby starts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and says "ketchup"

 

[CONS_SS]

What time did the Chinese man go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

 

[CONS_SS]

Why did the booger cross the road? Because he was being picked on.

 

[CONS_SS]

What's bright yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

 

[CONS_SS]

Why does E.T. have such big eyes? Beause he saw his phone bill.

 

[CONS_SS]

Two blondes were walking in the woods. One said, "Oh look! deer tracks! The other one argued, "No silly! Those are wolf tracks!" They fought over it. Two hours later they were both killed by a train.

 

[chickens_law]

What did Tiger Woods say to the lion?

Growl. piss off.

 

[CONS_SS]

Did you hear about the Barbie doll, it's called the Divorce Barbie. She comes with all of Ken's stuff.

 

[CONS_SS]

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat? He got pissed off.

 

[CONS_SS]

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.

 

[CONS_SS]

Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny.