Toast Types of people at the footy

[Hubnester]

Two games this season and have had horrid luck with groups of people in my row who all decide they need to get up to pee/get food/get a drink/have a smoke together about 4 times each quarter. Always have to come my way too which was frustrating.

Also sat near two "impartial neutral football experts" one week. Advanced aged supporters of teams that aren't playing, they're just there for the atmosphere, to impart their wisdom on everyone around them, and banter about the game loudly between themselves like they were a commentary team. Unfortunately never as insightful as they think. Highlights include laughing histerically when the crowd shout 'ball' - like every supporter base of every match ever played doesn't do the same thing every week.

 

[BringouttheGimp]

Folk that still call umpires.. wearing fluro s**t.. white maggots.

 

[RAPPA]

"The Prognosticator" - this person is adamant about knowing the scoring outcome (goal, point, out on the full, won't make distance) from every set shot before it happens.

 

[Proper Gander]

The person with the hot thermos full of minestrone soup on a freezing cold day in the stands….it smells divine and everyone around you looks jealous and says ‘I wish I had of thought of that’

I’m that person with the flask

I'm the one thinking "seriously? What a loser" but at the same time being really jealous that I didn't think of that

 

[Wosh]

I'm the one thinking "seriously? What a loser" but at the same time being really jealous that I didn't think of that

My family is the same "soup to the footy…really?"
Then when I crack it open they all want some

 

[Proper Gander]

Hi-5 guy.

Turns around after every goal and hi-5s a group of strangers. This feels good and people are joining in happily until the beers get in the way of his coordination and he clobbers some old woman in the head

 

[Rezza Tiger]

Bloke who walks down the aisle 1 minute after the first bounce then stops, stands there, blocking the view of some, and proceeds to stare like this for a good 30 seconds:

Are they looking for a seat, a person, WHO KNOWS!!!???

I see this guy at EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. I've ever attended

 

[Running Dog]

The soccer fans wearing the latest lime and beige monstrosity of some obscure Serie A team. No jacket even if it's really cold, cause they're inked and buff. Mesmerising haircuts with lots of zig zags. White shoes, gold bling, ever so slightly too much cologne, like about a litre of the stuff. Yammering on about acquiring a Brazilian with a toddler's name for only 6 trillion Euros, as though they negotiated the deal. That'll show the skips a thing or two about real football. Meanwhile, across the road, the A-League game attracts a crowd of about 17.

 

[Wosh]

What about the little kids behind you waving their flag around and keep bopping you on the head or sticking it in your back.

Ban em.

 

[deedog2]

I see this guy at EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. I've ever attended

It's nuts isn't it?

Not mentioned yet but they other one I find perennially perplexing is bloke who wears his club gear to a game despite the fact that his team isn't playing, nor are they even playing anywhere on that day...

What the hell!?

 

[RAPPA]

The spud farmer - this bloke will identify and pick out the spuds who are playing on both teams and let you know that said player "is a spud"

 

[BringouttheGimp]

The blokes that walk past a corporate box of folk enjoying a 3 course meal.. then they say s**t like.. look at these ******* assholes mate.. they're missing out mate.. we're in the thick of the action mate.

 

[BringouttheGimp]

The couple that travelled 4 hrs to get to the G from some remote country town.. letting you know all about it.. and you're.. for *s sake.. allright man.. take it easy.

 

[The Warlord]

Nature's Cruellest Mistake aka The Nuff

The opposition supporter who cuts up immensely nasty about losing and has a go at you using something about your club.

For North supporters it is always "well, at least we won't be folding/in Tassie next year!!!". I imagine for Essendon it is drugs/finals stuff, West Coast it is ice, Carlton lack of success etc, every club has a weak point at some time.

Thing is this supporter always looks like they have serious physical and possibly mental ... hmmm ... well, you know.

You don't want to have a go back at them because if they do have a disability then you're an absolute prick for laying into them, so you just wear it.

But then a few weeks later you're in VicRoads or some s**t getting your licence renewed and you see them. At first you can't place them, then at 3AM you're like OMG it was that nuff at the footy.

They run a VicRoads branch!

Then you regret not giving them a serve back when you had the chance.

 

[BringouttheGimp]

A mate of yours that arrives 5 minutes before the game starts.. cause he had a big night out.. and he's like.. just get me a water man.. just get me a water man.. * the beer I can't.. spends the whole game ****ed trying to sober up.. barely remembers any part of it.

 

[Proper Gander]

If any of you are the tall person who wears the weird beany topped with an oversize pom-pom that sticks straight up in the air and sits in front of me every single week, no matter which stand I choose, please stay home.

 

[Rezza Tiger]

It's nuts isn't it?

Not mentioned yet but they other one I find perennially perplexing is bloke who wears his club gear to a game despite the fact that his team isn't playing, nor are they even playing anywhere on that day...

What the hell!?

Just the Saturday before last week saw a guy with an Essendon jumper on my way to Tigers v Bulldogs catching a Cranbourne train from Flinders St didn't even get off at Richmond for the footy. Kept thinking to myself "are Essendon playing tonight?" Had to check my phone. Nope they're playing the crows tomorrow at marvel He lived in my head rent free for a little bit!

 

[Philth]

Odd scarf person.
You're at a Saints v Tigers game, and there's a bloke there with his Bombers kit on, for example.
And they're not even playing that day.
Always struck me as odd. And they're always there.

deedog2 I'm with you brother!

 

[Soggy2112]

It's nuts isn't it?

Not mentioned yet but they other one I find perennially perplexing is bloke who wears his club gear to a game despite the fact that his team isn't playing, nor are they even playing anywhere on that day...

What the hell!?

I’m all for it.

Only a scarf though

 

[RAPPA]

The seagull - this bloke will say he's not purchasing any food at the game, but he's quick to scab some hot chips from you when you come back with the box

 

[pixels]

I usually sit in a corporate box, so to me all these other people are simply there to provide a good atmosphere while I eat my slow roast lamb shoulder and boo.

 

[TheBigHorne]

"The Prognosticator" - this person is adamant about knowing the scoring outcome (goal, point, out on the full, won't make distance) from every set shot before it happens.

Oh that's me. About 80% of the set shots we kick I say we'll miss and then I say 80% of the opposition's set shots will go in, although unfortunately I am usually right in these cases

 

[deedog2]

deedog2 I'm with you brother!

Sorry mate, missed your post!

 

[deedog2]

A mate of yours that arrives 5 minutes before the game starts.. cause he had a big night out.. and he's like.. just get me a water man.. just get me a water man.. fu** the beer I can't.. spends the whole game f’ed trying to sober up.. barely remembers any part of it.

Why the hell would he go? TV and pizza hut!

 

[RAPPA]

Oh that's me. About 80% of the set shots we kick I say we'll miss and then I say 80% of the opposition's set shots will go in, although unfortunately I am usually right in these cases

Don’t worry - all of my posts are reflections of me at the game and I routinely did this when Levi lined up for goal