Q. How many abstracts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Fish
Q. How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Eleven. One to change it, the other ten to explain how much better they could have done it.
Q. How many men does it take to clean a toilet?
A. None. It's...
Bloke walks into a bakery, "I'll have a loaf of vienna please"
Baker asks "you want it sliced or not sliced?"
Bloke says "doesn't matter, my motorbike's outside"
Three blokes sailing on a raft in the ocran after their ship went down.
One sits at the edge, his leg dangling in the water. One of the others says to him "don't do that, a shark might bite your leg off".
Bloke says "nah, that won't happen, my dad's a typewriter".
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