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Cheating

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Originally posted by lioness22



I always wanted to work in child care. :) Or be a designer but that was blown coz I suck at drawing things. lol

And guess what? I'm a child care worker. :)

Just because you don't agree doesn't make it wrong.
It isn't really about agreeing or disagreeing. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying you are naive.

In a nutshell, this is what I am saying:

- 40% of marriages end in divorce
- out of the remaining 60%, plenty of adultry would have been comitted
- and out of the rest (faithfully married), many of these people would have thought lustful thoughts about others.

What makes you absolutely certain that you fit into this small minority that can live their life with the one person, and without cheating, yet alone even thinking lustful thoughts about someone else.

Pretty tough ask if you ask me.
 
Originally posted by mantis
BB

The WHY is important, because you are judging people by saying they are insecure in their relationship if they can't accept their partner having sex with someone else, to me that reeks of double standards, if it is only sex as you say, then why does it matter who it is with? I would be equally upset if my partner had sex with a friend or stranger.
I've told you why.

If it is someone I don't know, I don't have to socialise with them. If it is someone I do know, it is uncomfortable being around them knowing that they have slept with my partner. A loss of face perhaps, or a dent in the ego.

Apart from that, you lose respect from your peers - they are bound to find out.

Also, your friend has cheated you as well. And that is different to a partner.

because you are judging people by saying they are insecure in their relationship if they can't accept their partner having sex with someone else
I actually haven't quite said that in that context. I have clearly stated that I think it is okay not to expect your partner to cheat if you don't yourself. The old "don't do onto others what you would do onto yourself."
 

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Yes :( I have cheated on a boyfriend before, but we didn't go the whole way. I did it because I was lonely, ehehehe!
 
Not in this thread BB, but another on this subject you did say that if someone feels threatened by their partner having sex with someone else, it was because they were insecure with their relationship.
 
Originally posted by bunsen burner
It isn't really about agreeing or disagreeing. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm saying you are naive.

In a nutshell, this is what I am saying:

- 40% of marriages end in divorce
- out of the remaining 60%, plenty of adultry would have been comitted
- and out of the rest (faithfully married), many of these people would have thought lustful thoughts about others.

What makes you absolutely certain that you fit into this small minority that can live their life with the one person, and without cheating, yet alone even thinking lustful thoughts about someone else.

Pretty tough ask if you ask me.

I'm saying I'd give it my very best. I don't see what's so wrong with that. :)
 
Originally posted by mantis
Not in this thread BB, but another on this subject you did say that if someone feels threatened by their pertner having sex with someone else, it was because they were insecure with their relationship.
I do recall saying that actually, but in a different context

It actually isn't relevant to what we are talking about. I didn't say, "People who don't allow there partner to have a one night stand are insecure in their relationship", I said,"People who worried all the time that their partner may cheat on them, are insecure i.e jealous people"
 
Originally posted by lioness22


I'm saying I'd give it my very best. I don't see what's so wrong with that. :)
There's nothing wrong with that (It's actually what I do), you have my blessing, but before you said it was a done deal.
 
Originally posted by bunsen burner
There's nothing wrong with that (It's actually what I do), you have my blessing, but before you said it was a done deal.

HOPEFULLY it is. ;) I don't wanna let myself down. LOL
 
Originally posted by bunsen burner
I do recall saying that actually, but in a different context

It actually isn't relevant to what we are talking about. I didn't say, "People who don't allow there partner to have a one night stand are insecure in their relationship", I said,"People who worried all the time that their partner may cheat on them, are insecure i.e jealous people"

LOL BB, of course someone would be worried all the time if they knew their partner was tempted to have one night stands, that's not insecurity, it is knowing that your partner is a cheating bastard, end of story & end of relationship. :D
 
Sex and love are two completly different things, you can have intimate sex without love and intimate love without sex. Cheating is not about sex it is about trust, it is the deceit and lies that create the problems, not the sex.

I don't believe in soulmates or the "one", the world is much too complex for that, Santa Claus and the Easter bunny are more believable.

All relationships are different, to suggest that having sex with another person outside the relationship is always a terrible act is naive. As long as the parties involved in the relationship are aware of the other person's intentions and accept them then there are no problems. Open your minds people!

As for "lustful thoughts", come on, people don't stop being human beings when they enter a relationship, it is completly natural even when in a relationship.

IMO opinion the key ingredients to a healthy relationship of any kind are honesty, communication and trust.
 

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Originally posted by Zombie
Sex and love are two completly different things, you can have intimate sex without love and intimate love without sex. Cheating is not about sex it is about trust, it is the deceit and lies that create the problems, not the sex.

I don't believe in soulmates or the "one", the world is much too complex for that, Santa Claus and the Easter bunny are more believable.

All relationships are different, to suggest that having sex with another person outside the relationship is always a terrible act is naive. As long as the parties involved in the relationship are aware of the other person's intentions and accept them then there are no problems. Open your minds people!

As for "lustful thoughts", come on, people don't stop being human beings when they enter a relationship, it is completly natural even when in a relationship.

IMO opinion the key ingredients to a healthy relationship of any kind are honesty, communication and trust.
Makes perfect sense to me
 
Originally posted by bunsen burner
1 word Spidey:

Groupie

LOL....

I see where you are coming from BB.

Some people on here have said they would never even 'think' about being with someone else. Now I dont believe that for one second, because it is human nature to at least 'fantasise'. Now whether you take that fantasy into reality is your own choice.

Love and Lust are two completely different things, and if you are happy with that and believe that sex is just that, sex then there is no reason why you cant have the occational 'one-nighter' because you are with your partners company and in trust.

On the other hand, I would not do it myself.
For me sex is about being close to the person that I love, and something that me and my parter share.

That is my personal preference, whether we will marry or whatever is up in the air, because I cannot predict the future.

The world has a lot of beauty. I can look at another girl and recognise that beauty, and not act on it, and there is no problem with that, its human nature.
To say you would never do that again because you are with that one person, is just silly .. (my opinion..).
 
I think the disease comment was way out of line... just because a person might sleep with many others, doesnt mean anything. Might suprise some of you to know that there are actually people out there that use contraception!!! So that point is moot, really!!

Lurve, that word, BB, delightful!!! :D
 
Originally posted by BluesBabe666
I think the disease comment was way out of line... just because a person might sleep with many others, doesnt mean anything. Might suprise some of you to know that there are actually people out there that use contraception!!! So that point is moot, really!!

Lurve, that word, BB, delightful!!! :D
I din't think it was out of line, and am not offended, I am just not exactly sure what Bluey is getting at.

Assumimg that he is saying that because I occasionally sleep with someone else other than my partner, and therefore risk catching or spreading disease, or putting my partner at risk, I disagree.

- In six years I have slept with 3 different women. That is a lot less than had I been single. Less chance of disease there.
- Always wear protection
- My partner insists the same
- Have had STD test, and came out negative.


I would have thought that there was a much higher risk in sleeping with footballers. They wouldn't be short of offers, and the chances are that some would be carrying a disease.;)
 

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Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk


1 sentence bb:

i am in a relationship

as for you mase LOL yourself trying to sweet talk all the little girlies on msn with your mr virgin antics!

Excuse me :confused:

When I told people I was a virgin, thats cuz then I was ....

You had a cop out on BB because of his opinion (altho Bluey did start it ... but you wanted to say it ..), and he had one back, fair is fair...
 
Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
don't know about bluey but i wasn't having a go at bb. My disease comment was based on the amount of ppl that had replied to the issue without even addressing this!

It was an assumption by Bluey that BB slept around a lot (only a few times in 6 years) and that he did not use protection (which he did), you continued the assumption!

But anyway .. Im sorry if you are :D
 
Originally posted by Sly77


Hmmmmmmmmm - how is a few different partners in 6 years considered a lot?

Or maybe my views are a little liberal.....
I don't consider it a lot, I am saying that Bluey seemed to assume that he slept around a lot before he knew the facts ....
 

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