Domestic violence

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Chief said:
But men do inflict violence on women and other family members, strangers...

And when they do, they do more damage. Permanently injure people more often. Kill people more often.

So if "impressionable boys" assume that because they don't hurt people then others don't, then they aren't going to be able to spot it when they see it.

I cannot fathom the point of view that thinks that this is a scary message:

"Too many women are hurt by their male partners. It's not acceptable. Don't accept it when you see it. Speak up."

So many people have their theories about a "crisis of masculinity", but when a good message like this is put out there, one that shows them how a good man might behave, people go to tears.
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I'm not disputing that at all; the highlighted message is fine by me.

The generalisations are what put me off - men are violent, men are privileged, etc. Messaging around coward punches was focused on a particular behaviour rather than a people group. Society fell in line with that messaging because we agreed the behaviour is wrong. I'd imagine getting society to agree that 50% of the population are the problem would be a harder sell!
 
evolved2 said:
The generalisations are what put me off - men are violent, men are privileged, etc
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If there is data that backs it up, it's not a generalisation is it?

The righty grifters have latched onto this straw man and beat it like a stubborn mule. The weird insistence in pretending that, say, "male privilege" means a homeless man is considered more privileged than a rich woman.

Nuance is not a word in the grifter's vocabulary.
 
Chief said:
If there is data that backs it up, it's not a generalisation is it?

The righty grifters have latched onto this straw man and beat it like a stubborn mule. The weird insistence in pretending that, say, "male privilege" means a homeless man is considered more privileged than a rich woman.

Nuance is not a word in the grifter's vocabulary.
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To me, the nuanced position is that each sex has different privilege, that some men are violent.

I find it strange that some are comfortable generalising about males, white people, Christians - those with 'privilege', yet won't accept the same approach towards females, black people, Muslims.
 

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evolved2 said:
To me, the nuanced position is that each sex has different privilege, that some men are violent.

I find it strange that some are comfortable generalising about males, white people, Christians - those with 'privilege', yet won't accept the same approach towards females, black people, Muslims.
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Which generalisations do you want to be able to make about black people?
 
I strongly believe the related advertising campaigns have been poor.

The two which stand out are

The one suggesting young boys acting up are potential DV perpetrators and need to be adjusted/influenced

The one about sex consent which was too twee to actually use the word sex
 
Chief said:
But men do inflict violence on women and other family members, strangers...

And when they do, they do more damage. Permanently injure people more often. Kill people more often.

So if "impressionable boys" assume that because they don't hurt people then others don't, then they aren't going to be able to spot it when they see it.

I cannot fathom the point of view that thinks that this is a scary message:

"Too many women are hurt by their male partners. It's not acceptable. Don't accept it when you see it. Speak up."

So many people have their theories about a "crisis of masculinity", but when a good message like this is put out there, one that shows them how a good man might behave, people go to tears.
Click to expand...

I don’t think anyone would disagree with it, but how many people witness domestic violence other than the two parties and (unfortunately) the kids? The point was made earlier that blokes who belt their missus probably don’t tell their mates, because they’d all go off at him.
 
the_interloper said:
I don’t think anyone would disagree with it, but how many people witness domestic violence other than the two parties and (unfortunately) the kids? The point was made earlier that blokes who belt their missus probably don’t tell their mates, because they’d all go off at him.
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Yeah but people do find out. It used to be "don't interfere" if you heard it happening next door. It used to be "gentle physical persuasion" was an excuse in court for marital SA. Cops would show up and ask the victim in front of the abuser if they wanted to press charges, if they didn't just take the abuser's word for it that it was just an argument and "you know how women get at their time of the month" or "she's an alcoholic and needs to be calmed down" (alcoholism brought to the table courtesy of years of abuse).

If it's invisible to the average bloke, it's worth reminding everyone that it still happens. It's also worth educating people about coercive control being abuse.

It's worth it being top of mind when seeing news or politicians making statements about it but not taking action.

One person I know got out with the clothes they were wearing after years of physical, mental, financial abuse, isolation from family and friends, all that, so I'm fine with a message that tells people that it still happens, speak up.

So, if you're not being violent, then you're not being told to stop being violent.

If your children are confused, I reckon talk to them about bullying and how it can happen between mums and dads too. Look up resources online about ways to explain it if you're unsure.

Just seems that some people bring up all their perceived negatives of getting the message out there, with little to no acknowledgement that it is happening around them.

Sometimes looks to me like entitlement - "televised sport, movies, games, TV are all MY domain, any message in there is aimed personally at me and people like me".

Projecting their reaction as being caused by the message really just looks like a "look what they're making me do!"
 
We keep getting this narrative that ‘average blokes’ are threatened by public attempts. To curb DV and GV

Which seem to be failing spectacularly by the way

It’s just not

It’s frustration that for example the messaging doesn’t seem to be resonating, and some adverts are just well…bad

Let’s fund the frontline services more with savings from this and see how we go? Just a thought?
 
A while ago noticed a young bloke from the clowns down the road swinging his arms at a young female in the front yard before then running off. From a distance at best it was slapping her in the face, at worst punches. Was about to ring the police but then thought what's really the point when nothing happens to them anyway.
 
Kram said:
A while ago noticed a young bloke from the clowns down the road swinging his arms at a young female in the front yard before then running off. From a distance at best it was slapping her in the face, at worst punches. Was about to ring the police but then thought what's really the point when nothing happens to them anyway.
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Then yeah, the message is kind of aimed at you.
 

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Chief said:
Then yeah, the message is kind of aimed at you.
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Dude I absolutely hate them and would love nothing more than to get them in trouble but I assure you nothing would happen with it, either with the police or justice system. It's depressing but that's just how it is.

Did take note if the time and of it date though and did mention it when the cops came over on another matter.
 
Chief said:
Yeah but people do find out. It used to be "don't interfere" if you heard it happening next door. It used to be "gentle physical persuasion" was an excuse in court for marital SA. Cops would show up and ask the victim in front of the abuser if they wanted to press charges, if they didn't just take the abuser's word for it that it was just an argument and "you know how women get at their time of the month" or "she's an alcoholic and needs to be calmed down" (alcoholism brought to the table courtesy of years of abuse).

If it's invisible to the average bloke, it's worth reminding everyone that it still happens. It's also worth educating people about coercive control being abuse.

It's worth it being top of mind when seeing news or politicians making statements about it but not taking action.

One person I know got out with the clothes they were wearing after years of physical, mental, financial abuse, isolation from family and friends, all that, so I'm fine with a message that tells people that it still happens, speak up.

So, if you're not being violent, then you're not being told to stop being violent.

If your children are confused, I reckon talk to them about bullying and how it can happen between mums and dads too. Look up resources online about ways to explain it if you're unsure.

Just seems that some people bring up all their perceived negatives of getting the message out there, with little to no acknowledgement that it is happening around them.

Sometimes looks to me like entitlement - "televised sport, movies, games, TV are all MY domain, any message in there is aimed personally at me and people like me".

Projecting their reaction as being caused by the message really just looks like a "look what they're making me do!"
Click to expand...

I'm fairly sure we've gotten past that scenario now. I reckon i read that there was no actual laws against DV until the 70s which shocked me.

But yes I think people would be more happy to interfere and report if they heard something next door now, so perpetrators are probably "keeping it quiet" I guess.

No one doubts it still happens, the vast majority would report it if they know about it, generally I'm sure it's hidden though.
 
Probably the same guy (I couldn't identify them properly at a distance) but he went court recently throwing rocks at his mrs and threatening her when she was going into school. Teacher went in as a witness but so did the girl and denied he did anything anyway, so he got off. The joke is even if he didn't all it would have been just some soft slap on the wrist anyway.
 
Kram said:
Probably the same guy (I couldn't identify them properly at a distance) but he went court recently throwing rocks at his mrs and threatening her when she was going into school. Teacher went in as a witness but so did the girl and denied he did anything anyway, so he got off. The joke is even if he didn't all it would have been just some soft slap on the wrist anyway.
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I understand the frustration, and I don't know your situation, but please just get on the phone when you see it.
 
The messaging around this is wrong IMHO. As if by guilting good men into feeling bad that there is a minority of shithead blokes who harm their women.....its really a tried and debunked way of not addressing issues that results only in further alienation.
Josh Szeps puts it well when comparing to the way we told all Muslims after 9/11 that they should denounce and outcry the jihadist extremist segments of their religion.....it didn't work, and only resulted in further divides and more violence.

That said...the media want more divides so not surprised with the sorts of stupid people they roll out to make stupid comments.
 
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