Gotta share this....

[Carlos]

... i work in a call center.

Anyway, just took an escalation call (complaint) from one of my colleagues who had an angry client on line. This lady had incorrectly ended up in my department due to pressing the wrong option during the RVA (queue system.. you know, press 1 for this, 2 for that etc) announcement. She started hooking into me because the RVA system it is too difficult for her because she is vision impared. Copped the usual "i just want to speak to a human, not a computer" and all that.

Fair enough i thought. I calmed her down and advised that we could arrange a brail telephone to make life a bit easier. I then asked her which department she'd like to speak to.

The answer?

Internet section.

 

[TigerCraig]

Funny

I hope you don't have more than 3 personal items???

 

[Sly77]

Ha ha

 

[BluesBabe666]

Heh....

 

[BluesBabe666]

Oh that note, who else hates when you call Telstra or something and they have that voice recognition crap, and they dont hear you when you first say the name you're after?? I practically scream down the phone if i am asked to repeat it! "I'm sorry, i didnt get that, could you please repeat after the tone"..

AARRGGHHH!!

 

[-PC28-]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666
Oh that note, who else hates when you call Telstra or something and they have that voice recognition crap, and they dont hear you when you first say the name you're after?? I practically scream down the phone if i am asked to repeat it! "I'm sorry, i didnt get that, could you please repeat after the tone"..

AARRGGHHH!!

If they don't hear me the first time, i usually say something obscene

It's the same with MobileNet, they ask you to say the phone number you're enquiring about, then they ask you when someone actually picks up. To this i just say 1234 567 890

 

[Sly77]

Oooooooooooooh yeah - drives me nuts

It is supposed to improve the service - yet it seems to take twice as long as the pushing buttons system does - PLUS makes you grumpy which cant be good for customer relations

 

[BluesBabe666]

For sure!!! Incompetent bastards!

 

[TigerCraig]

I used to like saying obscene things, and then listening to what the computer guessed I wanted, before being switched to a person.

Me: "F-ing d-headed w--kers"
Computer: "Are you wanting Telstra management?"

But I've grown up now.

 

[Sydneyfan]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666
Oh that note, who else hates when you call Telstra or something and they have that voice recognition crap, and they dont hear you when you first say the name you're after?? I practically scream down the phone if i am asked to repeat it! "I'm sorry, i didnt get that, could you please repeat after the tone"..

AARRGGHHH!!

I hate voice recognition, one of the major taxi companies here have it nowdays, I don't think I have ever successfully booked a cab through voice recognition.

The first question they ask is your phone number but often I'll be calling from a public phone and you can't tell what's the exact number of that phone, so you say "I'm at blah, blah Railway Station", then you repeat it louder and slower and feel like a d*ck screaming to a phone in front of a people, and then it finally gives up and transfers you to a customer service representative, Thank Goodness for that!

The times I call on my mobile I can't get past where are you going to, "The City" sorry, i couldn't hear you , "City" can you please repeat , "Sydney City" please hold while transfer you to a customer service representative. GRRR!

 

[Carlos]

A this point i'd like to advise that i DO NOT work for Telstra.

Just in case i was losing the hard earned respect i had doubtlessly built up over my 1600 odd posts of pure quality smut.

Thank you.

 

[TigerCraig]

No danger of losing respect from any of us

 

[Carlos]

Originally posted by TigerCraig
No danger of losing respect from any of us

Thanks... er, i think.

 

[Squeak]

I think this sums up having to ring up any corporation.

HELLO OPERATOR. I'D LIKE TO MAKE A CALL
CAN I HAVE 477 3104?
I'M SORRY SIR, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT NUMBER ONCE AGAIN?
477 3104, DID YA GET IT THEN?

COULD YOU SPEAK A LITTLE SLOWER? 477'S ALL I GOT
3104, ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF OR WHAT?
LOOK, I GOT THE FIRST BIT, BUT I JUST CAN'T GET THE LAST
WELL STICK THAT ****IN' PHONE UP YOUR ****IN' ARSE

CHORUS
STICK THAT ****IN' PHONE, UP YOUR ****IN' ARSE
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ****IN' HELP, NOT MAKE IT ****IN' HARD
I'M JUST TRYIN' TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOU'RE JUST BEING SMART
SO YOU CAN STICK THAT ****IN' PHONE, UP YOUR ****IN' ARSE

GOOD MORNING I'M FROM TELECOM, COME TO DISCONNECT YOUR PHONE
FOR A BREACH OF REGULATIONS JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO
YOU UPSET OUR OPERATOR WITH A PRETTY NASTY CALL
WHAT ARE YOU ****IN' ON ABOUT? IT WAS ALL HER ****IN' FAULT!

WELL SHE CLAIMS THAT IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT, SHE REALLY WAS DISTRESSED
WHAT ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS, SHE UPSET ME FIRST!
WE'VE GOT HER WRITTEN STATEMENT, WHICH SHORTLY WILL BE READ
BUT IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU'D RECALL EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID

I SAID

CHORUS

WELL THAT'S NOT EXACTLY ON SIR, IT'S JUST NOT ON AT ALL
YOU MUST USE COMMON ETIQUETTE IF YOU WISH TO MAKE A CALL
AND 'PLEASE' AND 'THANK YOU' ALSO HELP, YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT
'PLEASE' AND ****IN' 'THANK YOU' WELL YOU ****IN' TELL HER THAT!

AND SHE KNOWS WITHOUT A TELEPHONE I'M REALLY IN THE ****
WELL PERHAPS IF YOU'D APOLOGISE THAT JUST MIGHT HELP A BIT
APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE TO WHO?
JUST GO IN AND ASK FOR OPERATOR 42

GOOD MORNING, ARE YOU WAITING? IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO?
YES, I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO OPERATOR 42
I'M SORRY SIR, I MISSED THAT, COULD YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
AH ****! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! HERE WE ****IN' GO AGAIN!

OPERATOR 42, LOOK I'LL JUST WRITE IT DOWN
OH OPERATOR 42, I'LL SEE IF SHE'S AROUND
JEEZ, THEY'RE BLOODY USELESS, I'M SURE THAT THEY'RE ALL DEAF
NO WONDER THAT I DID ME QUINCE, NO WONDER THAT I SAID

CHORUS

NOW THEY'LL MAKE ME SIT AROUND AND WAIT ALL BLOODY DAY
JUST SO THEY CAN MAKE ME SWEAT AND HAVE THE FINAL SAY
THAT'S LIKE THE PUBLIC SERVICEM THEY MAKE YOU SCRAPE AND BBOW
ARRGGHH ****! SHE'S ****IN' UGLY, IF THAT'S HER COMING NOW!

I'M OPERATOR 42, I'M BUSY, MAKE IT FAST
DID A BLOKE TELL YOU TO STICKTHAT ****IN' PHONE RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE?
YES HE DID, THE FILTHY ANIMAL, I REMEMBER NOW
WELL YOU'D BETTER ****IN' BRACE YOURSELF 'CAUSE THEY'RE BRINGING IT AROUND!!

CHORUS X 2

 

[Unwritten_Law]

I haven't heard that since Primary School.

That's a piece of Kev magic isn't it???

 

[OldSchool]

Originally posted by Carlos
... i work in a call center.

Anyway, just took an escalation call (complaint) from one of my colleagues who had an angry client on line. This lady had incorrectly ended up in my department due to pressing the wrong option during the RVA (queue system.. you know, press 1 for this, 2 for that etc) announcement. She started hooking into me because the RVA system it is too difficult for her because she is vision impared. Copped the usual "i just want to speak to a human, not a computer" and all that.

Fair enough i thought. I calmed her down and advised that we could arrange a brail telephone to make life a bit easier. I then asked her which department she'd like to speak to.

The answer?

Internet section.

 

[Squeak]

Originally posted by Unwritten_Law
I haven't heard that since Primary School.

That's a piece of Kev magic isn't it???

Sure is.

 

[Docker_Brat]

Tip:

If you want to speak to a human and quickly without being on hold, press the 'new sales' (or similar) option. For some reason they tend to answer that one quicker.