Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Remove this Banner Ad

Status
Not open for further replies.
Mattrox said:
So I'm doing the shopping and turn down the dairy aisle. It's wide with the freezers in the middle. So I head down the side where I need to go to get the cream for the yummy spaghetti marinara I'm planning to make.
Click to expand...

Waaaaaaait a sec. Can't believe no one picked up on this.

Way to ruin a good spaghetti marinara!!! :eek::p
Tomato or olive oil sauce FTW.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

Mattrox said:
Of course I did, it was the supermarket not the fish monger. But it was fresh not frozen. I was in a hurry. Cheap and cheerful dinner. Was actually delicious.
Click to expand...
I'm sure that guy was also eating something delicious that night..
 
Hi all, this thread has been an amazing read and has provided plenty of laughs ( out loud, at work)

Time for me to delve into the archives and bring forth my shame and share
Year 12 breakup party, many moons ago now. Yep, we all remember the time, drunk as * and the chance to finally seal the deal with whoever was "the one" throughout the years at school.
Well for me, I happened to only start my new school at the time at the begiining of year 11, so my long time dream girl was left in the distance but upon beginning in year 11 I did pretty well and had a girl friend for quite a while who was a year younger, but looking back of course she turned out to be not the love of my life as I thought at the time
So a string of casuals followed during year 12 and although still carrying the big V plates, I did ok
But year 12 party night came around and I was on the grog big time, the first time I had really let loose.
Suffice to say I didnt stomach it well!!
So the party is in full swing, inhibitions have been long lost and I find myself in a room with 3, yes 3, of the hottest chicks ( according to my limited chick experience back then ) on the planet, 3 of the real popular girls who although I was mates with, never considered for 1 minute in my league at all...still wouldnt:)
So any way, they are probably more smashed than me, and at this point I was sitting propped up on the floor because standing was past difficult, I remember 1 was dressed as a cat for some reason, and the others were leaning on me, their hands casually draped over my legs
We were on the flirt train and the conversation, slurred as it was, got around to sex and I blurted out I was still a virgin
They had a bit of a giggle between themselves of course, these women of the world, at the little boy before them, before coming to the grand plan of how we should lock the door and fix the problem( the loud party out in the back yard so no problem with a bit of privacy)
So of course Im all for it, as I take another swig of my stones ( the cheapest s**t i could get my hands on at the time) and calmly watch as the the girls begin to get undressed and kiss each other...So you can guess where we are headed here folks, 17 years old, the big v, ready to lose it in a grand 4some with already hot chicks becoming hoter by the second, an absolute skin full of cheap piss and gulping it out of the bottle as the seconds tick by....,

So my last memory of that night is of boobs, glorious boobs and one very hot shaven....yep my last memory as nervous young Glacier gulps and gulps and gulps and............passes out


I woke about 10 the next day, late for the last day muck up and the year 12 lunch, draped in a gstring and a catsuit


So I went to the school and to the lunch but was very very very quiet, my mates could not get a word in
I spied one of the girls who gave me a wink, a shrug and a smile as if to say " you snooze, you lose"

My mates found out a while later and my year 12 exams were horrible to say the least


I am a dad of 3 now, with a beautiful partner
I also drink very rarely...
 
Last edited:

(Log in to remove this ad.)

getthefooty said:
Wow, that story was difficult to read knowing there would be a sad ending. How is it even possible to pass out in that situation.
Click to expand...
Still to this day it was the drunkest I have ever been and from memory I reckon I swigged almost a complete bottle of the s**t in the couple of minutes of " show time"
I cant look at a bottle of stones now without feeling ill
 
Glacier said:
Still to this day it was the drunkest I have ever been and from memory I reckon I swigged almost a complete bottle of the s**t in the couple of minutes of " show time"
I cant look at a bottle of stones now without feeling ill
Click to expand...
I had a mate who did a smilar thing at our school ball afterparty.

Pretty much was guaranteed sechs with one of the hottest girls in our year but he nearly polished off a full bottle of jack daniels in the first 30 mins of the party and ended the night passed out in the corner of the back yard.
 
blueboy25 said:
I had a mate who did a smilar thing at our school ball afterparty.

Pretty much was guaranteed sechs with one of the hottest girls in our year but he nearly polished off a full bottle of jack daniels in the first 30 mins of the party and ended the night passed out in the corner of the back yard.
Click to expand...
I felt so alone in the world...until now
 
Glacier said:
I felt so alone in the world...until now
Click to expand...
I was at the pub on the weekend with my mate and we were actually having a bit of a laugh about his performance that night as it was nearly 20 years ago now.

I jumped on facebook and showed him what the chick looks like now and I think a solitary tear rolled down his cheek.
 
Loving this thread. No work is getting done this arvo.

My most awkward attempted pick-up line was as a 19 year old, fresh out of a four year relationship and woefully out of practice. The last time I'd had to flirt I was fifteen and picking up just involved standing near someone at a party and complimenting their music taste.
So, I'm single, finally ready to get back out there and I meet up with a bunch of fellow North supporters at a pub. Most older than me or attached but there's one who caught my eye. Very good looking and more importantly, very funny. I tried to subtly hang out with him all afternoon, made excuses to sit near him etc. At the time I thought I was smooth but it was just amateur hour.

Anyway, I end up next to him (and it's not gone unnoticed that the only other girl there was also giving him the once over). This is my chance to drop a witty, yet sexually suggestive line that's going to make this guy think about me all night. I have the whole world of pick up lines available to me and I go with:
"Your eyes are really nice."

Head, meet desk.
I got a message from him that night though and he admitted the awkwardness was what did it for him.
 
At least Glacier you can console yourself that if the grog didn't cause you too pass out then the sheer amount of blood that went to your schlong would have finished you off.
 
miss_kate18 said:
Loving this thread. No work is getting done this arvo.

My most awkward attempted pick-up line was as a 19 year old, fresh out of a four year relationship and woefully out of practice. The last time I'd had to flirt I was fifteen and picking up just involved standing near someone at a party and complimenting their music taste.
So, I'm single, finally ready to get back out there and I meet up with a bunch of fellow North supporters at a pub. Most older than me or attached but there's one who caught my eye. Very good looking and more importantly, very funny. I tried to subtly hang out with him all afternoon, made excuses to sit near him etc. At the time I thought I was smooth but it was just amateur hour.

Anyway, I end up next to him (and it's not gone unnoticed that the only other girl there was also giving him the once over). This is my chance to drop a witty, yet sexually suggestive line that's going to make this guy think about me all night. I have the whole world of pick up lines available to me and I go with:
"Your eyes are really nice."

Head, meet desk.
I got a message from him that night though and he admitted the awkwardness was what did it for him.
Click to expand...
Pick up lines, oh the memories
I remember a hot young thing in a night club once saying " hi, whats your name?'
My response " ahhh, im ahhh ummm.."
I was so smooth back then
 
The Passenger said:
At least Glacier you can console yourself that if the grog didn't cause you too pass out then the sheer amount of blood that went to your schlong would have finished you off.
Click to expand...
In this respect and thinking back to when i eventually did lose the V plates at a deb ball the following year, yep the 25 seconds or so of bliss may have sounded the end for me
 
Glacier said:
Still to this day it was the drunkest I have ever been and from memory I reckon I swigged almost a complete bottle of the s**t in the couple of minutes of " show time"
I cant look at a bottle of stones now without feeling ill
Click to expand...

How dare you sully the good name of Stones Green Ginger Wine.



Bummer about the whole missing out on the greatest sexual experience ever thing too.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Frederico_WA
Games & Recreation One ... word ... story ... #1
77 78 79 80 81
Replies
2K
Views
22K
Frederico_WA
Frederico_WA
Gameova_
Funny childhood/school stories
Replies
8
Views
499
Gameova_
Gameova_

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top