- Jul 23, 2010
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?/10.
Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories
- Thread starter CakeEater
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?/10.
Dagless
Hall of Famer
Not even too sure if this is an awkward flirting story or not.
Actually, well it might be, that’s up to you to decide, either way it’s well worth reading…
This is on Monday and I had been drinking for the previous 3 nights so I wasn’t feeling the best. Man City is parading through town so of course I have to go to that. I’m sitting on my own in the communal area of the hostel when a chick wearing Man City clothing comes in.
We get talking and it turns out she’s a diehard Man City supporter, which is bizarre as she lives in her own words a ‘redneck’ town 3 hours from Vancouver. She’s 19 years old and a 7/10, fairly fit looking with a cute face, with an extremely annoying and loud American/Canadian accent. We’re getting on really well and end up going to a pub to get a feed and have a few drinks then to the parade itself.
The parade ends about 6pm and we decide we want to carry on, so we go the hostel to get changed into more appropriate clothing. At this point I’m thinking she’s not a huge drinker as she plays soccer fairly competitively and is a fit looking girl. Well anyway we go out and get on the piss hard, turns out she’s a massive drinker.
We go from bar to bar and by 9pm were both at least a little tipsy. Then she starts talking about things like tinder, which I have no idea about so she’s explaining it to me but claims her friends set it up and she just uses it to have a laugh (aka get some D). Were also talking about grinding in clubs to which I said its non-existent in Australia and the UK, her mind is somewhat blown and she states that when clubbing in Canada there’s a high probability you’re going to get laid (aka she gets laid on the reg).
Based on the nature of conversation and how well we have gotten along (honestly I have never been able to maintain a decent conversation with a female for so long – ever) I’m calculating that I’m about a 50% chance of succeeding. To me (a 24yo virgin) success means a decent hook-up, anything more is well ‘virgin’ territory.
We keep drinking until about 11pm and then head to a club which goes off on Monday’s. We get there and it’s pumping, I’m abit concerned though as the ratio isn’t great so I have to be fast. Well again, it’s the female that makes the move, she says she wants to dance then grabs me around the waist, so I extend my hand and take her to the dance floor for a good 15 minute make out session.
We both get another drink and have a break from the dancefloor. Then I get a phenomenal cockblock, there’s some mechanical bull riding thing in the nightclub so this random drunk guy comes up to me and says he wants to do it and if I can hold his stuff (keys, wallet etc) so I stupidly agree.
The guy is off his face and I don’t think he even remembers who I am and he seems to disappear. Canadian chick gets bored and says she’s going to dance, at this point I know she’s a massive sloot and will hook up with anyone so I have to think fast. * this guy, I quickly have a look for him but his nowhere to be found so I ditch his stuff with security (felt kind of bad when I woke up the next morning and found his Ventolin in my pocket lol).
I quickly get back to the dancefloor, my heart sinks, there she is dancing with another guy surrounded by some girls. I still had hope though, the guy didn’t seem to be making any moves so I make my way over, I still had a chance…yep I got her back.
What happens next is unbelievable, we have another make out session then she starts grinding on me. We just go between making out and grinding for the next 30 minutes and then she steps it up. She full on starts grinding on me and were pretty much having dry sex in the club, at this stage I actually start to feel abit awkward, were getting afew looks as what we’re doing is out of place for any Aus/UK club, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it at any club in my life, I mean if your this keen why not just go home and actually *.
To make things even more embarrassing she starts rubbing my utensil over my jeans and is trying to give me a HJ, I take her hands and redirect them, I don’t do that stuff, not in the middle of the dancefloor FFS. I should also mention at this point I’m overcome by an unusual phenomena, the girls looks actually decreased as the night went on.
She had taken her jumper off revealing some excess fat on her arms as well as several tattoos, I also notice as I’m feeling her on the dancefloor that she has some excess fat around the waistline, not quite the fit body I was expecting. The lights on the dancefloor also reveal some impurities on her face, she is now a 6/10.
Anyways our sex show slowly comes to an end and I’m just casually dancing with her on the dancefloor. I kind of want to leave at this point, maybe she can sense this I dunno, then she says something to me that blows my mind….I swear she says ‘you should dance by yourself for abit’, what did I hear this right, wtf, I know what this means.
I ask her to repeat herself ‘you should dance over there’ she says pointing to the other side of the dance floor lol, I just say ‘are you serious’ in a light-hearted way. Her response, wait for it, she says with excitement in her voice as if I shouldn’t care about what just happened ‘Yolo’.
I farking rage inside and make my way off the dancefloor and prepare to leave the club. Before I do I take one cursory look back, yep, not even 60 seconds later there she is making out with some other guy. I leave and catch the taxi alone, forever alone.
Actually, well it might be, that’s up to you to decide, either way it’s well worth reading…
This is on Monday and I had been drinking for the previous 3 nights so I wasn’t feeling the best. Man City is parading through town so of course I have to go to that. I’m sitting on my own in the communal area of the hostel when a chick wearing Man City clothing comes in.
We get talking and it turns out she’s a diehard Man City supporter, which is bizarre as she lives in her own words a ‘redneck’ town 3 hours from Vancouver. She’s 19 years old and a 7/10, fairly fit looking with a cute face, with an extremely annoying and loud American/Canadian accent. We’re getting on really well and end up going to a pub to get a feed and have a few drinks then to the parade itself.
The parade ends about 6pm and we decide we want to carry on, so we go the hostel to get changed into more appropriate clothing. At this point I’m thinking she’s not a huge drinker as she plays soccer fairly competitively and is a fit looking girl. Well anyway we go out and get on the piss hard, turns out she’s a massive drinker.
We go from bar to bar and by 9pm were both at least a little tipsy. Then she starts talking about things like tinder, which I have no idea about so she’s explaining it to me but claims her friends set it up and she just uses it to have a laugh (aka get some D). Were also talking about grinding in clubs to which I said its non-existent in Australia and the UK, her mind is somewhat blown and she states that when clubbing in Canada there’s a high probability you’re going to get laid (aka she gets laid on the reg).
Based on the nature of conversation and how well we have gotten along (honestly I have never been able to maintain a decent conversation with a female for so long – ever) I’m calculating that I’m about a 50% chance of succeeding. To me (a 24yo virgin) success means a decent hook-up, anything more is well ‘virgin’ territory.
We keep drinking until about 11pm and then head to a club which goes off on Monday’s. We get there and it’s pumping, I’m abit concerned though as the ratio isn’t great so I have to be fast. Well again, it’s the female that makes the move, she says she wants to dance then grabs me around the waist, so I extend my hand and take her to the dance floor for a good 15 minute make out session.
We both get another drink and have a break from the dancefloor. Then I get a phenomenal cockblock, there’s some mechanical bull riding thing in the nightclub so this random drunk guy comes up to me and says he wants to do it and if I can hold his stuff (keys, wallet etc) so I stupidly agree.
The guy is off his face and I don’t think he even remembers who I am and he seems to disappear. Canadian chick gets bored and says she’s going to dance, at this point I know she’s a massive sloot and will hook up with anyone so I have to think fast. * this guy, I quickly have a look for him but his nowhere to be found so I ditch his stuff with security (felt kind of bad when I woke up the next morning and found his Ventolin in my pocket lol).
I quickly get back to the dancefloor, my heart sinks, there she is dancing with another guy surrounded by some girls. I still had hope though, the guy didn’t seem to be making any moves so I make my way over, I still had a chance…yep I got her back.
What happens next is unbelievable, we have another make out session then she starts grinding on me. We just go between making out and grinding for the next 30 minutes and then she steps it up. She full on starts grinding on me and were pretty much having dry sex in the club, at this stage I actually start to feel abit awkward, were getting afew looks as what we’re doing is out of place for any Aus/UK club, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it at any club in my life, I mean if your this keen why not just go home and actually *.
To make things even more embarrassing she starts rubbing my utensil over my jeans and is trying to give me a HJ, I take her hands and redirect them, I don’t do that stuff, not in the middle of the dancefloor FFS. I should also mention at this point I’m overcome by an unusual phenomena, the girls looks actually decreased as the night went on.
She had taken her jumper off revealing some excess fat on her arms as well as several tattoos, I also notice as I’m feeling her on the dancefloor that she has some excess fat around the waistline, not quite the fit body I was expecting. The lights on the dancefloor also reveal some impurities on her face, she is now a 6/10.
Anyways our sex show slowly comes to an end and I’m just casually dancing with her on the dancefloor. I kind of want to leave at this point, maybe she can sense this I dunno, then she says something to me that blows my mind….I swear she says ‘you should dance by yourself for abit’, what did I hear this right, wtf, I know what this means.
I ask her to repeat herself ‘you should dance over there’ she says pointing to the other side of the dance floor lol, I just say ‘are you serious’ in a light-hearted way. Her response, wait for it, she says with excitement in her voice as if I shouldn’t care about what just happened ‘Yolo’.
I farking rage inside and make my way off the dancefloor and prepare to leave the club. Before I do I take one cursory look back, yep, not even 60 seconds later there she is making out with some other guy. I leave and catch the taxi alone, forever alone.
Last edited:
- Jul 23, 2010
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10/10.
Last edited:
- Mar 25, 2003
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My heart just sank.
Wow....... "girl rubs utensil, not sure if keen" down to an absolute tee
Next time, when she starts rubbing your utensil I'd probably suggest that's the time to head back to the hostel. She probably got pissed that she made moves and you didn't.
Next time, when she starts rubbing your utensil I'd probably suggest that's the time to head back to the hostel. She probably got pissed that she made moves and you didn't.
- Mar 25, 2003
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Yeah for sure.
I guess one of the tought things for RU is that he is a virg. Is that by choice, by not having opportunity or just waiting out for the right person or even to get married?
If that story is anything to go by, that's not going to change any time soon.
- Mar 25, 2003
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true. if that's his choice then good for him (i guess, not a path i'd take) but if it's for "lack of opportunity" then clearly there is some lack of thinking going on.
i lost my v plates to a chick pretty similar to RU's canadian. She got around quite a few of the guys at my school. But I was only 17 I was at an age where I just wanted to get laid. If I was still a virg in my mid 20's I'd probably hold out till I had a couple of dates with a lass first. Or I'd just bang the 7/10 canadian grinding me on the dance floor...
- Jan 30, 2006
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- #5,086
It's obvious you want the deed done, next time you are out and about on your adventures and a chick grabs your blue balls. You look her directly in the eye and tell her you are going home and she is coming with you.
AtomicBlonde
Cancelled
I will seriously never understand the mating rituals of the heterosexuals. She gave him three chances to bang her and he wouldn't do it...I no understand.
- Jun 16, 2011
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Might have warded him off of sex forever, being his first time.
- Jun 16, 2011
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Yeah personally I would of done the same thing if I was coherent enough, not awkward at all the girl wasn't overly attractive and was a massive **** that combination no thanks!
It was a great "Touched dick, not sure if keen" moment.
What should I have actually done in this situation? I thought me hooking up/grinding/groping her on the dancefloor would have signalled I'm keen as well
And were the hell are you going to * in a hostel, the bathroom or shower?
And yes there is alot of lack of thinking when it comes to females, I'm way too much of a whiteknight.
What makes you say that? I've had some preety close calls the last few times I've been out, just can't close them out, I'm definitely on the verge I think.
Her slootiness on the dancefloor was actually a major turn off for me, earlier on in the night I would of ****ed her if I had the chance but I really didn't want to after the sex show, would have taken a HJ though. It was only her 2nd night in the UK from home so atleast she wouldn't have slept with 20 other backpackers by the time she got to me. I also take comfort in the fact that the other guy didn't rail her that night because I heard her come into the hostel about 25 minutes after me.
Yeah and I'm in Liverpool now and she's going to be here for 1 night whilst I'm here, likely in the same hostel. Should I acknowledge her beyond a standard 'hi, hows it going'? Or should I try and get on the piss with her again?
- Mar 25, 2003
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At some point you've gotta make the call and say 'hey lets go home'. It's a case by case situation and no hard and fast rules on what point you should throw that in there but clearly here you waited way too long. That being said she may not have been looking for the D anyway. A lot of girls will talk it up, make it look like they're real adventurous, will do whatever but when it's action time they were really just interested in some dance floor hook up to get some attention. It probably doesn't seem like your chick was like this, but this type of female definitely exists. They're a ******* nightmare.
either of those two or you can do it quietly in your bed. I've lived in and out of hostels through most of my 20's including a 14 month stint in one and all sorts of s**t goes on. You could even be a romantic and hope there's a free private room and pay for the night.
That being said doing it for your first time in a shower there is a lot of room for things to go wrong.
Being a whiteknight is not necessarily a bad thing but there needs to be a limit and at some point you've just gotta get more assertive.
Yeah and I'm in Liverpool now and she's going to be here for 1 night whilst I'm here, likely in the same hostel. Should I acknowledge her beyond a standard 'hi, hows it going'? Or should I try and get on the piss with her again?
The Passenger
The Passenger
- Nov 24, 2007
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Definitely get on the piss. Some may say only chance...
Jks bud.
Jks bud.
The saga continues...
She's sitting about 3 metres away from me right now, so far we've only said 'hey' to each other.
And she's playing pool, flirting with some guy right near me. I feel physically sick.
I should also mention she's in the same room as me LOL, this shall be an interesting 2 nights.
She's sitting about 3 metres away from me right now, so far we've only said 'hey' to each other.
And she's playing pool, flirting with some guy right near me. I feel physically sick.
I should also mention she's in the same room as me LOL, this shall be an interesting 2 nights.
Last edited:
- Oct 7, 2002
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Being that you are on Merseyside, I would think it appropriate to suggest that you should make the same decision regarding sex that Everton player Sylvain Distin has done regarding playing for the French national football team.
- Mar 25, 2003
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i would try hit her up again. no reason not too. it may be awkward at first but once some lagers are flowing then tension tends to ease. but i'm a bit more on the brazen side then most and don't get too downtrodden about rejection. it happens.
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