Podcast BigFooty Blues Podcast 2016 Ep 03 - Censor Bleep

[HBF]

You guys make a wonderful salad, but Mebby is the lobster dinner.

Quite ironic that you chose lobster dinner - Mebby hates seafood.

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

You guys make a wonderful salad, but Mebby is the lobster dinner.

You don't make friends with salad.

 

[MrsCoach16]

Quite ironic that you chose lobster dinner - Mebby hates seafood.

Ok, food analogies aside, she's the star of the show, you guys are adequate back up.

 

[MrsCoach16]

You don't make friends with salad.

You certainly do not.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

As if my head wasn't big enough already...!

 

[HBF]

Ok, food analogies aside, she's the star of the show, you guys are adequate back up.

Shhhh.......she'll probably demand a bloody dressingroom and get herself a manager now..

 

[HBF]

As if my head wasn't big enough already...!

That's ok, Papa Homer will bring you back down to earth on Sunday.

 

[Aphrodite]

Shhhh.......she'll probably demand a bloody dressingroom and get herself a manager now..

I'm available!

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

ShanDog, HBF, ferrisb .... time to go on strike?

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

I could always take a week off so you guys have a chance to shine

 

[thylacine60]

Unfortunately work commitments mean I won't be able to join the broadcast next week.

 

[ferrisb]

ShanDog, HBF, ferrisb .... time to go on strike?

I could be offended by MrsCoach16's comments, but I happen to agree with her.

Also, I haven't failed to notice that in each one of your intros you say 'in no particular order, today's podcasters are.....' but I always end up last....

It's ok. It doesn't bother me. I'm not offended. I can take a hint.......

*sniff sniff*

*rubs arms across nose*

BWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[Jabba73]

The good actor/actress always gets listed last in the intro to the movie.

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

I could always take a week off so you guys have a chance to shine

Pfft yeah right. Cries of *boo*hiss* get off. You suck! Objects thrown at the screen. Backslapping and raucous laughter on the boards.

The boys gather around to read the latest feedback.

ShanDog shouts angrily '* this' and flings his headset into the corner of the room where his drum kit sits. It rebounds perfectly off the snare drum, hits the wall and his autographed limited edition (of 1) framed picture of Sam Rowe executing a perfect spoil comes crashing to the ground, glass shards flying everywhere.

I plead with HBF 'can't you do something?' Head bowed he says 'sorry guys, I've tried ... I - I - came home from work to reason with her and some guy named Henri ... ******* Henri, if you can believe that .... not bloody Hen-ry like everybody else but On-ree ... said in some superior garlic snail slurping ******* accent ....'

Anyway so this Jean-Luc Pierre Jacques looking mutha****** says to me, 'sorry sir you can't come in. Miss Mebby is doing her vocal warm-ups and has asked not to be disturbed.' 'What the? I'm her bloody husband' I say. 'By anybody sir' he says.

'Bloody hell mate ... that's ****ed', we all sympathise with his plight.

He says 'I promise I will try again guys. I have an appointment with her next Tuesday. Going to take roses, champagne and those little pillow chocolates she likes so much.'

'Don't take any s**t HBF. Good luck buddy.'

We look across to ferris, both hands covering his face. '* ferris, how can you just sit there as though nothing has happened?'

He looks up, tears streaming down his face.

'Shut up!' he screams. 'Just shut the * up! It's okay for you guys. ShanDog, you shout ... of course nobody is going to like you. That's the whole point of your schtick for *'s sake .... and you do all the technical s**t. A ******* shouty nerd ... there you go. Woopty faarrking do'.

He continues 'and HBF .... well I wouldn't know who the * you were if it wasn't for Mebby, and if we have to hear about Six Degrees of Separation from Patrick Cripps or the top 12 endearing Patrick Cripps smiles one more time, someone is going to smack you in the head with a sock full of locks!'

'What?' says HBF exasperated, 'what about Mebby and her Eddie freakin' Dylbucks obsession? She drops it into every bloody podcast.'

'Yeah, but she could scream it, belch it or recite it using a ******* kazoo, and it still sounds soooo ******* nice, soooo ******* endearing. You on the other hand sound like a creepy trench coat wearing retired judge for *'s sake.'

'What the * ferris?' I say, 'let's not turn on each other'.

Ferris turns sharply towards me '* off ODN! ... do you ever stop trying to moderate? Holy s**t man, I figure you prefer to sit on the fence because you like having a ******* stick up your arse! You take a thousand ******* words to say something the rest of the known world could sum up in a sentence. ******* elephants could meet, have coffee, forget to call, start dating, have sex and produce offspring in the time it takes you to get to a ******* point ... ya waffling * stain.'

'Are you about finished?' I ask. 'If you're so down on us, why the hell are you crying about what is happening with the podcast?'

'Because!' he screams .... 'I used to be funny godammit .... I was ******* poster of the year because people found me funny. It was my thing, it was what I did, what I know .... who I am! On this podcast ... nothing ... crickets .... they ******* hate me ODN', tears streaming down the face again, sobbing now.

'They don't hate you ferris' I offered.

'Who am I ODN? I don't know who I am anymore' ... ferris looks up as if he is genuinely, desperately searching for an answer.

'It will be okay mate .... we'll figure something out' I say meekly. Nobody looks convinced. 'I don't know' says ShanDog almost to himself. 'This is the s**t that killed the Beatles.'

Ferris bucks up, 'well if we're the Beatles, you're ******* Ringo drummer boy'. 'Oh * no, I don't want to be Ringo' Shan protests, but with a smile on his face. We all laugh out loud, a real tension breaking laugh.

'See, you still got it ferris' I say excitedly. 'Yeah thanks ODN, I'll be alright', he says, noticeably more relaxed.

'Hey fellas, how are we all' comes a vibrant voice from behind. 'Meeeebbbbyyy!' we all cry out in unison. 'Good to see you.' 'Aw thanks guys' says Mebby warmly. 'I was worried you might take all that poddy feedback to heart and be upset with me.'

I jump in 'Whaaat? .... nooo, didn't give it a second thought'. 'Na man, everything's cool here' says ShanDog. 'Don't be silly babe ... everyone's been totally fine' HBF assures her.

'The only feedback I've taken offense to was when ShanDog forgot to take off his headset again when he went to the loo' ferris delivers with perfect timing.

We all burst out laughing again.

'*, I love you guyssh' gushes Mebby warmly.

'We love you too Mebby' we all call out in unison ... and it is sincere.

I clear my throat 'Okay guys, we ready ... in 3-2-1 .... Aaannnd Welcome back to the BigFooty Blues Podcast ....'

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

I could be offended by MrsCoach16's comments, but I happen to agree with her.

Also, I haven't failed to notice that in each one of your intros you say 'in no particular order, today's podcasters are.....' but I always end up last....

It's ok. It doesn't bother me. I'm not offended. I can take a hint.......

*sniff sniff*

*rubs arms across nose*

BWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Well this week I saved you for last because you weren't going to show up so I was going to do a thing about it, then you came in, so I did a half thing along the same lines.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

What. The actual. *.

Stop making me laugh in PUBLIC YOU GUYS

 

[ferrisb]

That's bloody stupid ODN.

HBF sounds nothing like a judge...

 

[ShanDog]

Pfft yeah right. Cries of *boo*hiss* get off. You suck! Objects thrown at the screen. Backslapping and raucous laughter on the boards.

The boys gather around to read the latest feedback.

ShanDog shouts angrily '**** this' and flings his headset into the corner of the room where his drum kits sits. It rebounds perfectly off the snare drum, hits the wall and his autographed limited edition (of 1) framed picture of Sam Rowe executing a perfect spoil comes crashing to the ground, glass shards flying everywhere.

I plead with HBF 'can't you do something?' Head bowed he says 'sorry guys, I've tried ... I - I - came home from work to reason with her and some guy named Henri ... ******* Henri, if you can believe that .... not bloody Hen-ry like everybody else but On-ree ... said in some superior garlic snail slurping ******* accent ....'

Anyway so this Jean-Luc Pierre Jacques looking mutha****** says to me, 'sorry sir you can't come in. Miss Mebby is doing her vocal warm-ups and has asked not to be disturbed.' 'What the? I'm her bloody husband' I say. 'By anybody sir' he says.

'Bloody hell mate ... that's stuffed', we all sympathise with his plight.

He says 'I promise I will try again guys. I have an appointment with her next Tuesday. Going to take roses, champagne and those little pillow chocolates she likes so much.'

'Don't take any s**t HBF. Good luck buddy.'

We look across to ferris, both hands covering his face. '**** ferris, how can you just sit there as though nothing has happened?'

He looks up, tears streaming down his face.

'Shut up!' he screams. 'Just shut the **** up! It's okay for you guys. ShanDog, you shout ... of course nobody is going to like you. That's the whole point of your schtick for ****'s sake .... and you do all the technical s**t. A ******* shouty nerd ... there you go. Woopty faarrking do'.

He continues 'and HBF .... well I wouldn't know who the **** you were if it wasn't for Mebby, and if we have to hear about Six Degrees of Separation from Patrick Cripps or the top 12 endearing Patrick Cripps smiles one more time, someone is going to smack you in the head with a sock full of locks!'

'What?' says HBF exasperated, 'what about Mebby and her Eddie freakin' Dylbucks obsession? She drops it into every bloody podcast.'

'Yeah, but she could scream it, belch it or recite it using a ******* kazoo, and it still sounds soooo ******* nice, soooo ******* endearing. You on the other hand sound like a creepy trench coat wearing retired judge for ****'s sake.'

'What the **** ferris?' I say, 'let's not turn on each other'.

Ferris turns sharply towards me '**** off ODN! ... do you ever stop trying to moderate? Holy s**t man, I figure you prefer to sit on the fence because you like having a ******* stick up your arse! You take a thousand ******* words to say something the rest of the known world could sum up in a sentence. ******* elephants could meet, have coffee, forget to call, start dating, have sex and produce offspring in the time it takes you to get to a ******* point ... ya waffling **** stain.'

'Are you about finished?' I ask. 'If you're so down on us, why the hell are you crying about what is happening with the podcast?'

'Because!' he screams .... 'I used to be funny godammit .... I was ******* poster of the year because people found me funny. It was my thing, it was what I did, what I know .... who I am! On this podcast ... nothing ... crickets .... they ******* hate me ODN', tears streaming down the face again, sobbing now.

'They don't hate you ferris' I offered.

'Who am I ODN? I don't know who I am anymore' ... ferris looks up as if he is genuinely, desperately searching for an answer.

'It will be okay mate .... we'll figure something out' I say meekly. Nobody looks convinced. 'I don't know' says ShanDog almost to himself. 'This is the s**t that killed the Beatles.'

Ferris bucks up, 'well if we're the Beatles, you're ******* Ringo drummer boy'. 'Oh **** no, I don't want to be Ringo' Shan protests, but with a smile on his face. We all laugh out loud, a real tension breaking laugh.

'See, you still got it ferris' I say excitedly. 'Yeah thanks ODN, I'll be alright', he says, noticeably more relaxed.

'Hey fellas, how are we all' comes a vibrant voice from behind. 'Meeeebbbbyyy!' we all cry out in unison. 'Good to see you.' 'Aw thanks guys' says Mebby warmly. 'I was worried you might take all that poddy feedback to heart and be upset with me.'

I jump in 'Whaaat? .... nooo, didn't give it a second thought'. 'Na man, everything's cool here' says ShanDog. 'Don't be silly babe ... everyone's been totally fine' HBF assures her.

'The only feedback I've taken offense to was when ShanDog forgot to take off his headset again when he went to the loo' ferris delivers with perfect timing.

We all burst out laughing again.

'****, I love you guyssh' gushes Mebby warmly.

'We love you too Mebby' we all call out in unison ... and it is sincere.

I clear my throat 'Okay guys, we ready ... in 3-2-1 .... Aaannnd Welcome back to the BigFooty Blues Podcast ....'

Unfortunately accurate.

 

[ferrisb]

Pfft yeah right. Cries of *boo*hiss* get off. You suck! Objects thrown at the screen. Backslapping and raucous laughter on the boards.

The boys gather around to read the latest feedback.

ShanDog shouts angrily '**** this' and flings his headset into the corner of the room where his drum kit sits. It rebounds perfectly off the snare drum, hits the wall and his autographed limited edition (of 1) framed picture of Sam Rowe executing a perfect spoil comes crashing to the ground, glass shards flying everywhere.

I plead with HBF 'can't you do something?' Head bowed he says 'sorry guys, I've tried ... I - I - came home from work to reason with her and some guy named Henri ... ******* Henri, if you can believe that .... not bloody Hen-ry like everybody else but On-ree ... said in some superior garlic snail slurping ******* accent ....'

Anyway so this Jean-Luc Pierre Jacques looking mutha****** says to me, 'sorry sir you can't come in. Miss Mebby is doing her vocal warm-ups and has asked not to be disturbed.' 'What the? I'm her bloody husband' I say. 'By anybody sir' he says.

'Bloody hell mate ... that's stuffed', we all sympathise with his plight.

He says 'I promise I will try again guys. I have an appointment with her next Tuesday. Going to take roses, champagne and those little pillow chocolates she likes so much.'

'Don't take any s**t HBF. Good luck buddy.'

We look across to ferris, both hands covering his face. '**** ferris, how can you just sit there as though nothing has happened?'

He looks up, tears streaming down his face.

'Shut up!' he screams. 'Just shut the **** up! It's okay for you guys. ShanDog, you shout ... of course nobody is going to like you. That's the whole point of your schtick for ****'s sake .... and you do all the technical s**t. A ******* shouty nerd ... there you go. Woopty faarrking do'.

He continues 'and HBF .... well I wouldn't know who the **** you were if it wasn't for Mebby, and if we have to hear about Six Degrees of Separation from Patrick Cripps or the top 12 endearing Patrick Cripps smiles one more time, someone is going to smack you in the head with a sock full of locks!'

'What?' says HBF exasperated, 'what about Mebby and her Eddie freakin' Dylbucks obsession? She drops it into every bloody podcast.'

'Yeah, but she could scream it, belch it or recite it using a ******* kazoo, and it still sounds soooo ******* nice, soooo ******* endearing. You on the other hand sound like a creepy trench coat wearing retired judge for ****'s sake.'

'What the **** ferris?' I say, 'let's not turn on each other'.

Ferris turns sharply towards me '**** off ODN! ... do you ever stop trying to moderate? Holy s**t man, I figure you prefer to sit on the fence because you like having a ******* stick up your arse! You take a thousand ******* words to say something the rest of the known world could sum up in a sentence. ******* elephants could meet, have coffee, forget to call, start dating, have sex and produce offspring in the time it takes you to get to a ******* point ... ya waffling **** stain.'

'Are you about finished?' I ask. 'If you're so down on us, why the hell are you crying about what is happening with the podcast?'

'Because!' he screams .... 'I used to be funny godammit .... I was ******* poster of the year because people found me funny. It was my thing, it was what I did, what I know .... who I am! On this podcast ... nothing ... crickets .... they ******* hate me ODN', tears streaming down the face again, sobbing now.

'They don't hate you ferris' I offered.

'Who am I ODN? I don't know who I am anymore' ... ferris looks up as if he is genuinely, desperately searching for an answer.

'It will be okay mate .... we'll figure something out' I say meekly. Nobody looks convinced. 'I don't know' says ShanDog almost to himself. 'This is the s**t that killed the Beatles.'

Ferris bucks up, 'well if we're the Beatles, you're ******* Ringo drummer boy'. 'Oh **** no, I don't want to be Ringo' Shan protests, but with a smile on his face. We all laugh out loud, a real tension breaking laugh.

'See, you still got it ferris' I say excitedly. 'Yeah thanks ODN, I'll be alright', he says, noticeably more relaxed.

'Hey fellas, how are we all' comes a vibrant voice from behind. 'Meeeebbbbyyy!' we all cry out in unison. 'Good to see you.' 'Aw thanks guys' says Mebby warmly. 'I was worried you might take all that poddy feedback to heart and be upset with me.'

I jump in 'Whaaat? .... nooo, didn't give it a second thought'. 'Na man, everything's cool here' says ShanDog. 'Don't be silly babe ... everyone's been totally fine' HBF assures her.

'The only feedback I've taken offense to was when ShanDog forgot to take off his headset again when he went to the loo' ferris delivers with perfect timing.

We all burst out laughing again.

'****, I love you guyssh' gushes Mebby warmly.

'We love you too Mebby' we all call out in unison ... and it is sincere.

I clear my throat 'Okay guys, we ready ... in 3-2-1 .... Aaannnd Welcome back to the BigFooty Blues Podcast ....'

So brilliant ODN. I love the way you made that up.

Yeeeees, made...that...up.... *looks away with shifty, beady eyes*

How long did that take you? Honestly? I see you didn't post anything between 3:28 and 5:10.....

 

[Aphrodite]

Pfft yeah right. Cries of *boo*hiss* get off. You suck! Objects thrown at the screen. Backslapping and raucous laughter on the boards.

The boys gather around to read the latest feedback.

ShanDog shouts angrily '**** this' and flings his headset into the corner of the room where his drum kit sits. It rebounds perfectly off the snare drum, hits the wall and his autographed limited edition (of 1) framed picture of Sam Rowe executing a perfect spoil comes crashing to the ground, glass shards flying everywhere.

I plead with HBF 'can't you do something?' Head bowed he says 'sorry guys, I've tried ... I - I - came home from work to reason with her and some guy named Henri ... ******* Henri, if you can believe that .... not bloody Hen-ry like everybody else but On-ree ... said in some superior garlic snail slurping ******* accent ....'

Anyway so this Jean-Luc Pierre Jacques looking mutha****** says to me, 'sorry sir you can't come in. Miss Mebby is doing her vocal warm-ups and has asked not to be disturbed.' 'What the? I'm her bloody husband' I say. 'By anybody sir' he says.

'Bloody hell mate ... that's stuffed', we all sympathise with his plight.

He says 'I promise I will try again guys. I have an appointment with her next Tuesday. Going to take roses, champagne and those little pillow chocolates she likes so much.'

'Don't take any s**t HBF. Good luck buddy.'

We look across to ferris, both hands covering his face. '**** ferris, how can you just sit there as though nothing has happened?'

He looks up, tears streaming down his face.

'Shut up!' he screams. 'Just shut the **** up! It's okay for you guys. ShanDog, you shout ... of course nobody is going to like you. That's the whole point of your schtick for ****'s sake .... and you do all the technical s**t. A ******* shouty nerd ... there you go. Woopty faarrking do'.

He continues 'and HBF .... well I wouldn't know who the **** you were if it wasn't for Mebby, and if we have to hear about Six Degrees of Separation from Patrick Cripps or the top 12 endearing Patrick Cripps smiles one more time, someone is going to smack you in the head with a sock full of locks!'

'What?' says HBF exasperated, 'what about Mebby and her Eddie freakin' Dylbucks obsession? She drops it into every bloody podcast.'

'Yeah, but she could scream it, belch it or recite it using a ******* kazoo, and it still sounds soooo ******* nice, soooo ******* endearing. You on the other hand sound like a creepy trench coat wearing retired judge for ****'s sake.'

'What the **** ferris?' I say, 'let's not turn on each other'.

Ferris turns sharply towards me '**** off ODN! ... do you ever stop trying to moderate? Holy s**t man, I figure you prefer to sit on the fence because you like having a ******* stick up your arse! You take a thousand ******* words to say something the rest of the known world could sum up in a sentence. ******* elephants could meet, have coffee, forget to call, start dating, have sex and produce offspring in the time it takes you to get to a ******* point ... ya waffling **** stain.'

'Are you about finished?' I ask. 'If you're so down on us, why the hell are you crying about what is happening with the podcast?'

'Because!' he screams .... 'I used to be funny godammit .... I was ******* poster of the year because people found me funny. It was my thing, it was what I did, what I know .... who I am! On this podcast ... nothing ... crickets .... they ******* hate me ODN', tears streaming down the face again, sobbing now.

'They don't hate you ferris' I offered.

'Who am I ODN? I don't know who I am anymore' ... ferris looks up as if he is genuinely, desperately searching for an answer.

'It will be okay mate .... we'll figure something out' I say meekly. Nobody looks convinced. 'I don't know' says ShanDog almost to himself. 'This is the s**t that killed the Beatles.'

Ferris bucks up, 'well if we're the Beatles, you're ******* Ringo drummer boy'. 'Oh **** no, I don't want to be Ringo' Shan protests, but with a smile on his face. We all laugh out loud, a real tension breaking laugh.

'See, you still got it ferris' I say excitedly. 'Yeah thanks ODN, I'll be alright', he says, noticeably more relaxed.

'Hey fellas, how are we all' comes a vibrant voice from behind. 'Meeeebbbbyyy!' we all cry out in unison. 'Good to see you.' 'Aw thanks guys' says Mebby warmly. 'I was worried you might take all that poddy feedback to heart and be upset with me.'

I jump in 'Whaaat? .... nooo, didn't give it a second thought'. 'Na man, everything's cool here' says ShanDog. 'Don't be silly babe ... everyone's been totally fine' HBF assures her.

'The only feedback I've taken offense to was when ShanDog forgot to take off his headset again when he went to the loo' ferris delivers with perfect timing.

We all burst out laughing again.

'****, I love you guyssh' gushes Mebby warmly.

'We love you too Mebby' we all call out in unison ... and it is sincere.

I clear my throat 'Okay guys, we ready ... in 3-2-1 .... Aaannnd Welcome back to the BigFooty Blues Podcast ....'

TLDR

 

[Aphrodite]

What. The actual. ****.

Stop making me laugh in PUBLIC YOU GUYS

Hahahahaha 'WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE'!

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

While we are recording it I do stare at the skype screen picturing Tony Lynn 15 in his underwear. Nothing weird like what you do though.

EFA.

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

So brilliant ODN. I love the way you made that up.

Yeeeees, made...that...up.... *looks away with shifty, beady eyes*

How long did that take you? Honestly? I see you didn't post anything between 3:28 and 5:10.....

Sorry mate, I know I said your concerns would be kept private. Oops.

Um, maybe 30 minutes off and on. My brain works in mysterious ways.

 

[HBF]

I forgot how funny Mebbys melt was at the start of the poddy over DylBucks.

 

[ShanDog]

I forgot how funny Mebbys melt was at the start of the poddy over DylBucks.

Had to be kept!

I put in Ferrisb saying "I'm ******* off" as his sign-off but thought I would spare everyone from tearing down his nice-guy facade.